The Trouble With Eden

by Leslie Pike

  Word has quickly spread that this film, and these actors are in the area. The crowds are growing.

  Almost every night after filming, a group meets by the pool at the hotel. It’s their time to unwind, and trade lies as the stuntmen say. There’s so much laughter, and no shortage of booze and weed. It’s the best part of the work day. All the stunt crew, some of the actors and occasionally Special Effects show up. The random guests come in and out, but usually it’s the same group of people.

  We’re sitting around the fire pit tonight. Steven and I, the stunt crew, Jack, Finn and even Caprice. I’m happy to see Renee the DP has joined us. The father/son team heading Special Effects, Jinx and Kevin, are here for the first time.

  A blunt is being passed around the circle. Jinx passes it to Flynn, who immediately passes it to Jack.

  “Not for me,” Flynn says.

  Jack takes a big toke, and passes it on.

  “This is some good shit.”

  He squeezes out the sentence, while holding in the smoke. Then laughs and coughs it out. We all laugh. He looks like a fifty year old surfer stoner.

  Caprice waves it off when it comes to her. She doesn’t bother passing it to Renee, she makes her lean over to take it from Jack.

  “I don’t need this. Finn and I want to be clear headed. You never know when you need good hand eye coordination.”

  She’s so obvious in her intentions.

  Finn looks her right in the eyes.

  “Darlin,’ I haven’t had any complaints yet.”

  “I bet you haven’t.”

  Jack weighs in.

  “Why don’t you just bang her and get it over with?”

  Most of the people nervously laugh, but Caprice isn’t amused. “How crude, Jack. Show some class.”

  Jack thinks the whole exchange is funny.

  “Come on. I’m just saying what everybody’s thinking. Finn should take you in the bushes and give you a proper banging. Nothing wrong with that.”

  Steven leans in to me.

  “I’m not getting into this.”

  “Me either.”

  Everyone else just sits watching the soap opera play out. Jinx’s young son looks shocked. I can tell he’s seeing a new world.

  I know Finn, and right about now he’s feeling bad for Caprice.

  Three … two … one …

  He gets up, and extends his hand to her.

  “Let’s leave these heathens. If they can’t appreciate an elegant woman, I can.”

  Caprice loves this down to her soul. She offers her hand in return. The two of them make their exit.

  “See, they took my advice,” says Jack.

  “Are they really going to do it?” young Kevin asks.

  Jinx looks at his son and grimaces.

  “What do you think? Yeah they’re going to do it.”

  Renee weighs in.

  “Son, how old are you?”

  “Eighteen.”

  “Is this your first film?” His father breaks in.

  “He’s worked with me since he was a kid. But this is his first official film.”

  “Well it’s a hell of a start. We’ve all worked with your dad for years. If you’re half as good as he is, you won’t have any problems.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.”

  “You can call me Renee.”

  “Ok.”

  It’s kind of sweet to have an innocent in the midst of these seasoned pros. He and I are sometimes like deer in headlights around these people.

  We’re interrupted by the arrival of two of the Hair and Makeup staff.

  Kiki and Coco. The names are often said as one word KikiCoco. That’s because where one goes, the other follows. They are the ears of the set. They love to poke their noses in everyone’s business, and they hear all the gossip. As the cast sits getting hair and makeup all kinds of juicy stories are told. KikiCoco likes to pass them along to whoever will listen. They’re in their mid-twenties and in their late adolescence. I’m sure Carrie Underwood’s song “Last Name” was written with them in mind.

  Since filming started, I’ve seen them completely hammered at least a dozen times. The guys love them for, let’s say their relaxed code of behavior. And why shouldn’t the girls do exactly as they please?

  The men who are doing the same things are never judged. Never. They’re actually looked up to. So go for it girls, rock your wild young selves.

  These two will never be on their death beds saying “Why didn’t I have more fun?”

  My only objection is that they’ve got their sights on Steven. I can’t blame them. He’s like catnip in a cat sanctuary.

  Luckily for me, he handles their advances well. I don’t want to be anybody’s watchdog. I want the man to know how to deal with that. I’ll do the same. I never encourage the advances of another man, but when it happens I don’t need Steven to speak for me. I can shut it down on my own.

  The girls come dancing in toward where we all sit. They have a song playing loudly on their cell. Robin Thick’s “Blurred Lines” sets the beat. When the T.I. rap starts in the middle of the song, KikiCoco gets excited. They know every word.

  Jack stands up and starts to move to the beat. He’s good. This is all the encouragement KikiCoco needs. They continue.

  Two of the stuntmen, Parker and Mike, stand up and join the girls. They’d love to be the ones enacting the lyrics. The four of them dance with abandon.

  Mike knows the rap too. It’s quick and clever, and sexual.

  Everyone claps in appreciation of their ability to decipher the lyrics.

  They bow dramatically.

  Jack passes Kiki the joint.

  Parker takes Coco, and starts dancing slower and slower. They’re getting closer, and it doesn’t take much imagination to know where it’s headed. The singing dies off. Coco and Mike sit down, and pass the blunt to Cathy, the stuntwoman.

  I whisper in Steven ear.

  “Are you ready?”

  “Yeah. Let’s get out of here.”

  We stand. Right away the protests start.

  “You’re not leaving. Come on,” Jack says.

  Kiki groans her disapproval.

  “We just got here, Steven. Stay for just a little while.”

  “We’ve got an early call. And it’s going to be a long day. See you tomorrow. Seven-thirty.”

  There’s goodbyes all around.

  “Goodnight you two lovebirds,” Jack adds.

  He whistles a sweet tune as if he’s scoring a Disney story. I picture all the little birds flying around Cinderella. He’s not far from the mark. Lately I feel like I’m in a fairy tale.

  The morning comes much too soon, as all our mornings do. The warmth of our bodies is hard to leave behind. But there’s no sick days, or just decided to skip work days, in his business. I hear the alarm.

  “Is it six already?” His voice is raspy with sleep.

  “Nooooooo.” I wrap my arm around his waist for one more minute.

  We’re like a well-oiled machine now. We get up most days at 6:00, then shower and we’re out the door by 7:30. We tried saving time, by showering together, but that didn’t work. We could never ignore the fact that we were naked and wet. I’d end up going to the set with wet hair, and he’d have to skip shaving.

  We’re up.

  Today’s a big day for the stunt crew. One of the biggest action sequences is being shot. For the last two days, they’ve filmed all the lead in shots to a big chase scene. Now they’ll get to the payoff.

  “I want to make sure I get there a little ahead of time today,” he says.

  “How many stunt people are working?”

  “Thirteen. I’ve have ten guys and three women.”

  “Wow. Car work?”

  “Mostly, but I’ve got a motorcycle near miss, and two pedestrians taking hits. It’s going to be a hell of a day. I should say three days.”

  “My God. Ok, I’ll get in the shower.”

  I’m almost through my shower when I hear
two voices talking in the other room. Steven and a woman. I think it’s Caprice. I rinse off and wrap my towel around me. My clothes are in the bedroom.

  I make it into the bedroom and can overhear the conversation now. At least pieces of it. Caprice seems to be complaining about something. But I can only make out the occasional word.

  “… he’s … why not … for you.”

  Steven’s getting aggravated, I know that much. He’s speaking louder than Caprice, so I can hear more of what he’s saying. I finish dressing.

  “Ridiculous … not interested … love … that’s enough,” he says.

  What in the hell are they arguing about? I walk from the bedroom into the living room, and the conversation stops. Caprice does a 180, and smiles sweetly.

  “Good morning.”

  Steven walks out of the room, but as he does he says one last thing.

  “This conversation is over.”

  “What’s up?” I direct my question to her.

  “Nothing darling. Absolutely nothing.”

  She takes a few grapes from Steven’s bowl, and pops one in her mouth.

  I think she’s buying time.

  “It sounded like something,” I say.

  “Man trouble. It’s just man trouble. I thought Steven could offer some good advice. But no, he’s not available.”

  I don’t know what to think of this exchange. What kind of man trouble? Did she hook up with Finn last night? I’m not getting in the middle of that. I’m not going to become her confidant concerning her affair with my ex-husband. I think I’ll follow Steven’s lead and get out of this conversation.

  “I’m sure it will all work out for you Caprice.”

  She gets an odd look on her face. For a moment she reminds me of Maleficent.

  “Of course it will, you’re so right, bella.”

  STEVEN

  Bitch.

  I rarely use that word to describe a woman, but it’s the right word for Caprice. Idiotic, shit disturbing bitch. And right now I don’t feel too smart either. Why I didn’t tell Bliss that Caprice and I have a history, I don’t know.

  That was how little it meant to me. I thought Caprice felt the same, until she started talking about it every time we were alone together. It was one night. One night six months ago. It was another movie, a drunken afterthought for us both, and more importantly it was pre Bliss.

  But now it’s going to look like I was intentionally hiding it from her. And that will misrepresent the depth, or in this case the lack of depth involved.

  For Caprice to come to my place, with Bliss thirty feet away, wanting to rehash that one night is ridiculous. Does she think this is going to change how I feel? This is high school bullshit.

  I know she watches Bliss on set, and sees how much she’s liked. That doesn’t sit well with Caprice. She likes to be the alpha dog. She’s befriended her, but she has ulterior motives, that’s clear. I’ve tried to warn Bliss. I guess she has to come to her own conclusions.

  But I don’t get it. This is a world class sex symbol we’re talking about. How much attention does she need? Half the world lusts after Caprice, but for her that’s a glass half empty.

  I think the real problem is, with Caprice what you see isn’t what you get. The reality of being with her doesn’t live up to the fantasy. That’s just the hard truth. I’m sure few men return for an encore.

  On screen Caprice is hot. She’s got that down.

  But when a man is with her, they go to bed with a sex symbol, and wake up with an ordinary, unremarkable lover. Actually, that’s an insult to the ordinary. Her skills are less than that.

  She sort of just lays there, like she’s not required to participate. As if she’s granted you an audience, and now it’s up to you to entertain her. She’s put everything she has into her image, and forgot to pay attention to what’s going on inside her head.

  Being with her isn’t a great sexual experience. It isn’t a good sexual experience. It isn’t even adequate. If I wasn’t so pissed right now, I’d feel sorry for her.

  She has no idea that there’s something beyond the visual. No idea that desire comes from what’s going on inside our minds. The unseen and the unsaid. That’s what sustains lust. It’s cerebral and emotional. What we see is just half of the equation.

  I was glad when she left with Finn last night, but for some reason that just irritated her. I wonder what happened. Maybe he felt the same way I did.

  And now our one night, actually those few hours, threaten to hurt what means most to me. I’ve got to tell Bliss right away. Cut the head of the snake off today.

  I hear Caprice leaving, and Bliss coming to the bedroom door.

  “What was that about?”

  “You’re not going to believe …”

  We’re interrupted by a knock on the front door.

  “I’ll see who it is. But we’re not finished with this conversation,” she says.

  I hear the door open, and Jack’s voice.

  “Morning. Where’s the man of the house?”

  “I’m right here.”

  I walk into the living room.

  “I have to bum a ride.”

  “What about the Jag?”

  “I had to leave it at the hotel last night. Too much to drink.”

  Jack is looking at our faces. He knows something’s up. “What’s happening here? Trouble in paradise?”

  “Nothing. Let’s go,” I say.

  “Does it have anything to do Caprice? I saw her leaving.”

  Bliss adds not a word to the conversation. I can sense she’s putting her thoughts together. She just grabs her gear and walks out for the van. And Jack, surprisingly, knows when to shut up.

  Work will be a welcome distraction.

  We make it the set without too much discussion. Jack looks over his lines for the scenes he has today. Bliss has her head bowed, writing on her iPad. I’m just formulating what I need to say, when I tell her about Caprice. The truth and the whole truth needs to be told, but I need to make sure she understands I wasn’t intentionally trying to keep it from her. Even as I think that, it sounds unconvincing. Fuck me.

  I would have told her on the ride over, but I don’t want to discuss it in front of Jack. Not that he’d be surprised. He’s known about my hookup with Caprice since it happened.

  He thought I was a jackass for doing it in first place. He’d know I was a jackass if he heard I hadn’t told Bliss yet.

  He’s successfully avoided the Italian star all these years, in spite of her efforts. He shut it down early on.

  She finally got tired of trying to seduce him. When it comes to Caprice, Jack’s clearly the smart one among us.

  We’re filming on the streets of Monterey today, so it takes only fifteen minutes from Pacific Grove. The set is already alive with the crew. They’re setting up cameras, snaking cables and preparing stunt cars. A hundred different people are working to just get to the first shot of the day. Albie’s conferring with Renee.

  As soon as we park, Jack jumps out.

  “Later.”

  I turn to Bliss. “We need to talk.”

  “Ok, talk.”

  “It’s no big deal, but it’s something I should have told you before.”

  “What’s that?”

  She looks me in the eye, and what I see is strength. She’s not nervous or afraid of what I might say. She’s strong.

  “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you this before, but it honestly didn’t cross my mind. At least not until today.”

  She just sits looking at me.

  “Here it is. Before I met you, I had a one night stand with Caprice. We were drunk, and it happened. That’s it. I regret it, but I can’t deny it happened. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

  She just sits quietly for a minute.

  “That would have been the right thing to do.” I take her hand.

  “I know. I told you once, there wouldn’t be other women, and there hasn’t been. There never will be. This is
so ridiculous because I know it could make you doubt me.”

  “I don’t doubt you.”

  I’m relieved

  “Good. That’s what I wanted to hear.”

  “Hold on. That doesn’t mean I’m not mad. It should have ‘crossed your mind.’ You disrespected me by letting her become my friend, while you two had this secret. I bet she really enjoyed that.”

  “You’re right. Of course you’re right.”

  “I don’t give a damn who you were with before we met. But I do care to know if I’m in a relationship with one of them. That’s just common sense, Steven.”

  “I know.”

  “If you expect respect from me, know that I demand the same. There would be no second chances if I thought you cheated. No matter how much I care for you, no matter how much you mean to me, I won’t settle for less.”

  “I wouldn’t expect you to.”

  “I take it she was coming back for seconds today?”

  “I don’t know what she was doing. She brought it up, and I think she was looking for a reaction from me. I told her I thought she was being ridiculous, and I wasn’t ever going to be interested. I told her I was in love with you.”

  Now I see a smile.

  “You said what?”

  “I love you, Bliss.”

  “I love you too. I have from the first day.”

  “I’m not saying it to get past this discussion. And, I didn’t want to say it in a van, parked next to a truck,” I say.

  “It doesn’t really matter where you said it.”

  We come together in a kiss.

  I had no intention of telling her I loved her in that setting. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and thought I’d take her somewhere romantic. But it just came out. It rolled right off my tongue. I love her.

  The entire morning’s spent prepping for the chase scene this afternoon. It’s hot today, which is unusual for Monterey. I’m especially amped about today’s shoot because I’m driving in it. I’ve been looking forward to this one since filming started. I guess it’s no surprise that I would end up a stuntman who specializes in car work.

  My dad was one of the greatest. But no matter who your mentor is, you have to have the feel yourself.

  I can’t deny I’m glad Bliss is here to see me drive. She’s seen lots of stunt work already, but I’ve been directing those Second Unit scenes. Today she’ll see what I can do behind the wheel. If I didn’t know better I’d swear I want to show off for her.