by Sabrina Kade
“I suppose not.” His shoulders slump.
“I’m not saying I want us to stop being friends. Heck, I’m saying we could be something more.” His head lifts, and I pull my hand away. “That’s only if I feel like I know you, Exer. I don’t know much about you. You care about animals, and you rather die than hurt an innocent or not so innocent creature. That’s great! It’s admirable. But it’s not enough to keep doing…” I trail off, blushing, “… what we did earlier. And you’ve unloaded a lot on me. Like, a crap ton of a lot.”
“I’ll tell you anything,” he insists in a low hiss. “Anything you want to know, ask me. I will tell you.” For the first time, his voice rises with passion. He’s not screwing around anymore.
There’s no one like him on Hethdiss. If there is, he’s not on my radar. Suddenly, I’m so happy we’ve come this far, even if it’s on the pretense that we both only wanted to be friends. Exer’s not like Dolan. He’s not all muscle and arrogance. Physically, he has no secrets like Azan, who I still don’t know why he wears a mask over his mouth. He’s not powerful or influential like Hujun. Exer is his own person. He doesn’t carry a title like Prince Korben but wanting to change himself counts for something. Even after everything that’s happened, I’m not afraid of him pouncing on me and raping me.
Exer is a brooding, unsmiling, outcast who, at times, is overdramatic, and secretive.
But that little hitch in my voice says he wants to change.
That promise of sharing who he is was never offered before.
My heart swells. The tips of my fingers grow hot and tingly.
This must be how Cinderella felt the first time Prince Charming asked her to dance.
This must be how Rapunzel felt the first time her prince climbed up the tower.
This must be how Snow White felt when the prince woke her up with a single kiss.
“I want to know about your wife,” I command before remembering that Sidyths don’t use that term. “Uh, your Chosen mate, I mean. I want to know about her.”
His golden eyes flash up to mine. “She never Chose me for a mate. Not officially. We were kind of more like—”
“Fuck buddies?” I try before blushing at my own bluntness.
Exer cocks his head to the side, piercing me with a confused glance. “What’s this? This fuck buddies?”
I can’t help blushing more deeply. “It’s when you have two people who aren’t in a real relationship but they kind of, um, have sex? No strings attached. No, uh, Chosen mates? Just pleasure.”
“Ahh.” The noise rumbles in Exer’s throat as he mulls this over. “I suppose this is the best human explanation for what Lavig and I had.”
Lavig. So that was her name. It’s pretty. Alien.
“But, yes, Lavig and I exchanged pleasure, but only on the promise that we would be Chosen mates. She was young. Much younger than me. Mind you, she was of mating age, but far too young and pretty for me. I should have known that I was not her only, er, fuck buddy.”
Is Exer saying that he was hooking up with a tramp? Sure sounds like it. But how did that lead him to punishing himself? I wait patiently as he starts to trace his fingertips through the mud, stealing occasional glances up at me. I’m not going to rush him. If he wants to sit with only the gentle rustling of the wind through the trees, that’s fine. I’m not in a rush to get back to the lairs. What am I rushing back to? Exer’s here. Layla won’t worry. She’s never any reason to. Heck, she had a massive crush on Exer before she finally gave into Dolan.
I smirk. Dolan. Dolan and Layla. I still laugh. Who would have thought he’d wear her down?
“I should have known that Lavig was too good for me,” Exer starts up. “She only wanted to see me at certain times during the day. I did not know what else she was up to. I was so excited by the idea of having a Chosen mate. A beautiful one at that. Lavig was cold, though. She was different from many of the females back on the fatherland. She knew she was attractive and so she didn’t worry about me reporting her. I would never have done such a thing, but instead, I did something much worse.”
I swallow hard. This is it. If Exer tells me he took advantage of Lavig, I’ll have to decide what to do with that information. Can I forgive him? Will I worry that he’ll eventually take advantage of me? Can I be with a guy who raped a woman in the past?
No. The word flies through my mind so quickly and violently that I almost lose my breath.
No. I deserve better than that. I may have had a good life so far, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be with a guy who ever thought it was okay to show so much passion without consent.
No. If Exer raped Lavig, we’ll continue being friends, of course. I believe people can change. But I don’t think I’d ever be with him.
I brace myself, prepared to let the idea go of Exer being more than a friend when he licks his lower lip and sends a steely gaze at me.
“She said I cared too much for her.”
I lose control of my jaw, and my mouth hangs open, almost as wide as Hinda’s. I swear to God, Exer’s sweating, even if Sidyths don’t do that type of thing, but that can’t be everything, right? Caring too much for a female? That’s what he’s so ashamed of? That’s why he’s here, living in exile? Because a woman said he cared too much?
“Lavig said that while I was a good lover, I cared too much. She did not like that I did not have any other females. She said I needed to stop depending too much on her for pleasure and affection. I was drawn in, you see. I couldn’t stop. I needed her. More and more, I needed her. And when I saw her in the market one day with one of my brothers, I approached. I asked her to Choose me for her mate.” He pinches his eyes shut. “And she… well, she…”
I find myself holding on to his every word. It’s like getting to the end of a teen drama episode with a cliffhanger. I’m leaning forward. I’m longing to touch him. He’s in so much pain.
“She… what?”
“She laughed at me.” His eyes open. “She laughed at me and said she planned to Choose Teskla for a mate. The male she was standing next to. He laughed when Lavig spoke these words. Anyone who heard her in the market laughed. Males are rarely disgraced, you see, and when it does happen, it is quite entertaining. Everyone looked at me, expecting me to report her. To have her sent to the hunts. Even Teskla looked nervous at his future mate’s display after the laughter calmed.”
“But you couldn’t do it, could you?” I ask. I can’t stand it anymore. I reach forward and rub his knee, and I swear he leans into my touch. I want to touch him other places, but he needs to get this story out. I’m still not convinced this is all of it. It’s too beautiful. Too simple. He loved a woman too hard, so she found another. And because he’s a nice guy, he couldn’t do the one thing his race is supposed to do.
Keep women in line – make them fear men.
That selflessness. That honor. That honor code.
It’s downright princely.
“She was afraid,” Exer says. “Despite her laughter and clinging to Teskla, I could tell she was afraid. Perhaps, she worried she had underestimated me. During our times in bed, I would tell her I secretly believed in what Prince Korben was only speaking softly about at the time. I told her that females should not be afraid of upsetting males. That females should be allowed to do as they please. She must have considered those conversations when she humiliated me. Perhaps, my ideals chased her away. Perhaps, it was my passion. I am not sure, because I did not get the chance to ask. I did not speak to her after that. But I’ll always remember the look in her eyes, Sloane. The arrogance, but the growing fear. After everything we built together, deep down, she still worried I was a typical male. That’s why I remained silent. That’s why I allowed everyone in the market to laugh at me. Because after all of that, I didn’t want her to die knowing I was a typical male. I wanted her to believe at least one true believer was out there. That I was a good male, and though she embarrassed me, and I chased her away, I stayed true to myself.”
I’
m stunned into silence before I quickly recover. “B-but, what does that have to do with punishing yourself? You did the right thing, Exer! You proved there were guys out there willing to do anything to prove they’re good. I don’t understand. Why are you saying you needed to punish yourself?”
“Because I chased her away. I loved her too much.”
“That’s no reason to punish yourself! To send yourself into exile!”
“Do you honestly think I could stay on the fatherland after what happened?”
I slick my tongue across my lips like Exer did minutes ago. He’s right. On his planet, what happened to him was probably as embarrassing and humiliating as things could get. He allowed a woman to shame him. In public. While on the arm of another male. There was probably no possible way his life could return to normal after that.
Yet, he’s convinced he’s punishing himself.
He’s wrong. Exer’s passion and desire never scared Lavig away.
I stand up and crouch in front of Exer, making sure his eyes are on mine. I look at him in silence, probably freaking him out, but he doesn’t move. Poor Exer, is it possible he thinks this is the end? That his heartbreaking story of dignity and sacrifice is going to chase me off? I brace my hands on both of his thighs and kiss him softly on the cheek.
“Is that everything?” I ask softly.
“It is of Lavig, yes,” he mutters. “I loved her. I cannot deny it. I wanted her as a Chosen mate. My eagerness chased her away.” His massive hands rest over mine and his face shifts, so our noses brush against the others. “That is why I wanted to be cautious with you, Sloane. You kept saying you only wanted to be friends, so I tried so hard not to fall for you. I tried so hard because that is not what you wanted.”
“You could have had Layla.”
He hisses. “No. I couldn’t. I did not want her. She was never meant for me.”
“And… you think I am?”
“I hoped. But you did not want me. This is why you kept saying we are friends, yes? You did not want me to chase you.”
“I don’t… I don’t know.” I lower my eyes, but there’s obvivous movement in his pants, and it doesn’t take a sexologist to figure out what. Between those enormous, runner’s thighs, he’s hard. I lick my lips, trying not to focus on his length for too long, but I can’t help remembering sucking on that thing. It was amazing. He tasted salty and sweet, and I can only imagine how much he could fill me if I let him—
Ugh. I shouldn’t be thinking about this. Heavy conversation. Focus, Sloane.
“Has my story frightened you?”
“Frightened me?” I jerk, forcing my attention away from his cock. “Exer, I wish you would have told me this sooner. It changes so much about how I see you as a person.”
“You think I am weak, yes?”
“No!” I take his face in my hands, pressing our foreheads together. I close my eyes. “No, Exer. I guess I only wanted to be your friend because I thought…” Now it’s my turn to admit a few things, “… I thought it would destroy Layla. And though I wasn’t ready to be your mate, or whatever, I didn’t want you to Choose her. The thought bothered me so much I could scream.”
“You were jealous?” He sounds surprised.
“I guess I was. Whatever I felt, I didn’t want you to leave me alone completely. The other girls always tell me I’m too positive about things. They say I’m soft. I’m dumb, even. But you? You didn’t say much, and as creepy as it sounds, I liked that. You let me talk and talk and talk, you never seemed to grow tired of it. Or if you did, you did a really good job at hiding it.”
“But you still did not want me for a mate.”
I shake my head. “I guess I didn’t.” I chuckle. “Call me crazy, but I think I have a Prince Charming complex.”
He shifts in my hands. “A what?”
I chuckle. “A Prince Charming complex. It means that I had certain expectations for a guy I wanted to be with. A prince.” He stiffens, gripping my hands more tightly.
“You wish to mate with Prince Korben?”
“No!” I squeal. “I wanted someone like a prince. Or at least like a prince in a fairy tale. Fairy tales are stories, Exer. They talk about honorable men who save damsels from horrible situations. They fall in love with a woman at first sight, blinded by her beauty or selflessness. That’s what I wanted. And as hot as you are, I didn’t see you in that light. Maybe that’s because I didn’t know you. You didn’t tell me anything about you.”
“I am sorry for that.”
“Don’t be.” I pull my forehead away to look deeply into his intense golden eyes. “That’s part of who you are. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. Because honestly now?” I blush. “I think you’re the most princely guy I’ve ever met after hearing that story about Lavig.”
“Why?”
“Why? Because you wanted her to know that good males were out there, even as she humiliated you in front of others. That’s amazing, Exer. And how you don’t want to kill animals? That doesn’t hurt either. You’re an incredible man. Any woman would be lucky to have you.”
“They would?”
“Yes.”
“So, does this mean you will have…” he trails off, staring so intensely into my eyes that I swear I feel it in the follicles of my hair. I’m tingling everywhere.
“Exer, are you asking me to be your Chosen mate?” I curl my fingers around the band of his pants and tug them away. I set that beautiful erect cock free, and it bounces upward when introduced to the cold air. He doesn’t answer my question, shocked into silence as I peel off my layers and toss them into the shelter. Hinda bounds after them, but I don’t spend too much time paying attention to her.
How can I watch an alien bulldog when the most glorious alien cock I’ve seen in my life is about to be mine once again?
Exer sucks in a gasp, kicking off his layers into the shelter, and Hinda continues to burble and gurgle in excitement. She’s probably ripping up our clothes, but does it matter? What I’m planning to do doesn’t require any clothing at all. I grin to myself, taking in Exer’s beautiful dick under the moonlight. It’s as fine a cock as I remember from earlier but knowing this thing is going into my pussy and not my mouth makes me a little nervous. He’s big. Really big. Considerably more significant than the guys I used to model with when I was with Alino. And humans certainly don’t have scales on their cocks. Goodness, what did I hear Blythe saying one time?
That Sidyths are ribbed for our pleasure?
Certainly seems that way.
I grip my hands more tightly around Exer’s thighs, enjoying the strength and hardness. His skin is soft and smooth, and his muscles are out of this world. Not even the strongest Olympians could hope to have thighs like this. I used to gawk a little at Dolan’s arms, but now that I’m situated here, I think I’ll take big thighs for one-thousand, Alex.
It’s hard to believe I thought everything Exer and I could have had was almost shattered. Terrible visions of him raping women filled my mind and looking at it now; I’m also ashamed to have let it go there. This is Exer. He would never hurt anyone. He’s passionate, overly so. And though he was overcome with excitement earlier, aren’t there worse things? Like being back with Alino where everyone was underwhelmed with me? I don’t ever want to go back to that life.
I like this one where I’m a sexual being.
I’m horny, and for once, I’m not the only one.
Without words, I slowly crawl into Exer’s lap, gripping his hips with my thighs. He’s so thick that it’s a bit of a stretch, but I’m more concerned about the hardness brushing against my sex. Exer deserves this, yes. But more importantly? I deserve this. I deserve to be with someone who not only looks at me like I’m a sexual object but respects me as a sentient being.
I’m no one’s pet.
I’m no one’s model.
I’m someone who wants love. I’m someone who wants to physically show my love. I’m someone who, in the end, wants to be with her Prince Charmi
ng.
Exer’s lips part as he watches me settle myself against him. He said Lavig said he was a good lover, and I’m starting to get a bit nervous when he wraps a massive hand around the back of my neck. Our eyes meet. Will I be enough for him? I’m not ugly, but am I beautiful like Lavig? Memories allow a person to look more or less than they actually were, and Exer almost had a look of bliss on his face when he pictured her.
Am I ready for this? Am I willing to admit how much I want the alien before me when he so obviously still thinks of another?
“See-loan,” he murmurs suddenly, pulling my attention back to the present. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.”
“Your mind wanders. Did you lie earlier? Did what I say about Lavig bother you? Frighten you?”
I shake my head. “It’s not that. I just…” He arches an eyebrow, waiting patiently for my response. “You said she was beautiful. I guess I’m worried about being as beautiful as she is. Being enough for you.”
“This is what you worry about?”
His eyes are shockingly wider than usual, and his grip tightens around my neck, but not painfully so. If anything, I’m growing wetter. Needier. More aroused. Crap, this isn’t exactly what I’m going for. Still, I nod, not ever wanting Exer to doubt my words. I lower my eyes, but not before Exer dips a curled finger under my chin and tilts my head upward.
“Sloane. You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.”
My stomach falls to my toes. My heart explodes. I’m pretty sure Hinda gurgle howls. Maybe I’m imagining all of it, but the passion in Exer’s eyes is nothing but reality.
“I saw your bloody-red hair and your blue eyes and your pale, soft skin, and I wanted all of it. For me. I wanted it so badly that I had to ask Prince Korben to allow me to escape to the talas. I had to busy myself, so I would not spend all my time thinking of making you scream my name. Calling for the deities, as Dolan explained.” I smirk, but Exer’s expression doesn’t change. “Lavig was beautiful, yes, but she was also cruel. You, Sloane, are the full package. You are beautiful and selfless. You did not let me try to claim you because your friend wanted me as her mate, even though this gave you great pain, from what I see. But now, there is no one else but you and me. My sweet, sexy, selfless Sloane.”