The Letter

by Rebecca Bernadette Mance

  If you ever believed for a moment I cared for you, you were wrong. I hate you with every fiber of my being and I always have. You were only a means to an end, nothing more.

  Signed,

  Victoria Riley

  Anger, bitterness, and pain exploded inside of him. Crumbling the paper in his fist, William stuffed it into his pocket.

  She would be back he vowed. He would make certain of that. He would have the bank withhold her money. He would make the deed for the store null and void. He would strip her of everything and then she would come crawling back to him. And when she did, he would make her pay.

  Striding from the room, he left without stopping to speak to Kim Su who stood motionless by the front window. A cold mask hid his emotions in the shadows of the darkened room as he passed by her. Rage and pain surged inside of him like a fresh deep wound.

  But he would not admit it was pain. For him to feel pain he would have to care for her. He would have to love her.

  And he didn’t love her. Whatever his earlier thoughts were, they were foolish. He could never love her. She was nothing more than a warm body, a mistress that could be considered a favorite. Nothing more. He had been a fool to come over here thinking he loved her or that he would marry her.

  He slammed the door behind him and strode to his waiting carriage. First he would track her to Fort Worth or to the ends of the earth, whichever it may be. By week’s end she would be on a train coming back to him.

  She would be back … because one ever escaped the long arm of the Octopus.

  CHAPTER 27

  She was so tired. Wearily, Victoria stood and dragged herself to the mirror of the musty hotel room. The bright sunshine was filtered through grime that caked the single narrow window.

  Despite the size of her stomach, her face reflected thin in the cracked mirror of the shadowed room. Large dark, blue eyes of a stranger stared back at her.

  She was so weak. And she had given up. She simply couldn’t run anymore and wasn’t even sure why she had run in the first place.

  Just this morning she had spotted another poster with her sketched picture on it. Before long, someone would see under her widow’s hat and know who she was. Did he post signs even in the most remote places…even all the way in Utah? Of course he had. It was so like him.

  She could only remain hidden for so long.

  For months she had gone from town to town thinking that with the money she had, she thought she could run forever. She could have gone on for a very long time, except she was robbed in New Mexico.

  She had only gone out of her hotel room for a short time, just to get something to eat. When she returned, everything was gone, her clothes, most of the money she had taken from her account at the bank and even the documents that gave her title to the house in San Francisco and store.

  Luckily, Victoria had some money in her purse, but even that didn’t last long. She should not have been so foolish to believe hiding it under the mattress would be enough.

  After that, she had desperately and unsuccessfully tried to reach Mandy by telex. Probably Mandy had gone to San Francisco to find her.

  Even if Mandy responded, Victoria knew she could not show up in their small town in her condition. They would both be shunned.

  Her options had simply run out. William had won. And tomorrow she would get on that train and go back to him. To do otherwise, could cost her and the child’s life.

  She had no money left for food, her hotel bill was only paid for one more night and she had just enough money for the 9:00 am express train ride back to San Francisco.

  Her heart quickened at the thought. Running had been futile because she loved him. God in heaven, she should hate him. But she hated herself for wanting to go back to him and for loving him. And she always would. She would never be able to run away from that.

  Only her anger at his attempts to find her had driven her to keep running. She despised the notion of sharing him with another woman until the end of her days, but perhaps she could steal moments of happiness while securing some security and happiness for her child.

  Going back to her life with Mandy wouldn’t have taken the pain away or solved the problems. The baby would come and she would bring shame on Mandy in the small town of Fort Worth. At least in San Francisco she would be somewhat anonymous. It was a big city filled with all kinds of people, from all walks of life.

  No one would likely even notice her except the society she would never be part of. And William would be there with her sometimes, he had said that to her countless times. He might not love her, but he cared for her and she knew he would take care of her and their child.

  If he still wanted her, she needed to lean on William, as she never had before. Her heart missed a beat over the frightening thought. He was married by now. So would he still want her?

  Victoria knew she was so large that he would probably be repelled by the very sight of her. He would also be angry about a bastard child even thought it was his own fault. It would serve him right anyway. Let him deal with this situation he has put her in.

  And now she was too tired to fight her feelings any more. She wanted to live and she wanted this baby more than life itself, so she had to go back and find help. Another wave of weakness came over her. To live and to make sure the baby lived she had to go to him.

  After the birth she could still go home to Fort Worth. Right now she needed him. She took heart in the fact that the posters meant he was still looking for her.

  Going over to the bed she lay down again. She would sleep now, and maybe that would take away this bone deep tiredness. She had to have the strength to walk to the station tomorrow.

  No sooner had she put her head down when it seemed the sun was streaming through the holes in the battered curtains and the grime on the glass of the hotel room. Slowly, Victoria rose, only slightly stronger than yesterday after her rest.

  Washing as best she could, she pulled her hair back and pinned it up. Putting the now battered black, veiled hat on, she walked to the door. It wasn’t necessary to pack. She had nothing left to pack.

  The only important thing was getting on that train.

  Slowly, she moved from the hotel to the almost empty street. Each step was calculated and considered. Sweat beads broke out on her forehead. It was a long way to the train station and seemed longer this morning, but at least it was cooler than it had been yesterday. She had stopped for a drink of water at a well, but that was all she had time for, or could afford.

  People passed, but no one stopped to help her as she slowly approached the station. Everyone knew she was alone and unmarried so her sins were obvious.

  The world was cruel to women. No one even raised an eyebrow over a man’s indiscretions, but for a woman, it was as if she were the worst human being. Even in her desperate situation, no one offered her help because she was pregnant with no wedding ring. She should have been smart enough to have considered buying one before embarking on this escape.

  But she couldn’t concern herself with that now. It was almost time for the train to leave.

  Dear God, help me get to the train, she prayed. Trying to walk a little faster, she approached the platform.

  With exceptional effort, she climbed the steps and handed the conductor her ticket.

  “One for San Francisco,” the man said, and to her relief smiling, as if she was any other normal customer. She grabbed the railing and pulled herself up the steps into the train. His hand shot out and he grasped her arm helping her up the steps. Giving him a wane smile, Victoria managed the last step and went through the small door.

  There were only a few empty seats on the crowded passenger car, and she was so large it was difficult to pass through the aisle past the staring passengers.

  “All aboard for San Francisco!” the conductor yelled down the platform, and the train whistle blew.

  San Francisco….she was going home.

  Putting her head back on the velvet seat, Victoria closed her eyes agai
nst the hot, irritated passengers settling in as comfortably as they could.

  A few minutes later the train began to move.

  She was going home…to him…where she belonged.

  *****

  By midday the heat was unbearable on the train. Flustered passengers fanned themselves for relief and children cried. The only balm was a hot breeze blowing through the open windows. Victoria was so hot that she wasn’t even sweating any more. Instead, her body just felt hot and dry.

  A kind, old man sitting across from her offered her some water from a canteen. She had smiled at him gratefully and wearily and accepted it.

  Certain now that the baby was going to come very soon, Victoria silently prayed that the child would wait. Because she had been too stubborn to go to William sooner, she risked losing the baby and dying herself.

  Closing her eyes, Victoria fell into an uncomfortable sleep, hoping the journey would go by faster if she simply slept through it.

  The train stopped in several cities and was delayed. Meanwhile, the baby had dropped lower. There was a pressure in her abdomen that hadn’t been there before. Were it not for the old man and his canteen, she was certain she would have died from thirst. He frequently glanced at her with a worried frown, but said nothing.

  He also knew her child was coming soon.

  With each long and tedious mile the train ambled on her fear and weariness grew.

  When she finally arrived in San Francisco she was on the brink of delirium. The old man who had been a silent, constant friend, assisted her from the train.

  “Don’t worry about me now, I am home,” she said smiling weakly. He stared hard at her with kind, brown eyes, framed with creases in his face that told their own stories of hardship, then nodded and walked away.

  Victoria stood for a moment and looked around the busy train station as memories washed over her. The cool fog surrounded her like a familiar friend.

  In her right mind she would never have come back. But she needed William now. She wanted to see his face — to hear his voice. Oh God, how she loved him. Just to see him again would be enough. And he would help her, she was sure of it.

  Still, she was so tired, afraid and weak…her normal spirit had deserted her.

  She hired a coach to drive her, which took up every last penny she had. It was late evening, so she knew William would be home from work. Yes, Faith would be there too, but she simply didn’t give a damn.

  “Take me to the home of William Worthington,” she requested, her breathing labored. There was no doubt now that the baby was coming. The heaviness had built and her world was spinning.

  She became less and less aware of her surroundings as she road. By the time they reached William’s home, she was fading into unconsciousness. But she was almost there now. Just a little bit further. Weariness washed over her in a giant wave.

  The coach stopped and the driver helped her from the carriage and up the steps.

  “Are you sure you are supposed to be here, miss?” the driver asked, looking around uneasily as they approached the door, no doubt worrying about the consequences to himself.

  She didn’t look like someone who belonged here. She was very pregnant and her clothes were wrinkled and dirty. Her hat had long since been removed and he didn’t even know where it was. Her hair was falling down. But she was here and that was all that mattered.

  “Yes, please, knock on the door for me.” Her voice was shallow and breathless.

  The man eagerly knocked on the door for her, anxious to get her off of his hands. He was supporting her because she could no longer stand by herself.

  The door swung open revealing Carter.

  “Dear Gracious!” she heard him say in his familiar Scottish burr. She smiled faintly, too exhausted to laugh at Carter’s shocked expression.

  Then, an instant later William stood in the doorway — the light behind him like a halo. She gazed into those glowing silver eyes that she had dreamed about for all these long months. Only now those eyes were sad and drawn.

  “William, I . . . I just can’t run any more. I am giving up . . . I will do whatever you want . . . be whatever you want . . . I am just so tired of . . . running.” Then the world faded to blackness. Home again, her mind and body gave into the clawing fatigue.

  “Dear God,” William rushed to her just as she collapsed, shock and joy crashing through him. Relief followed and fear came behind. He sent up a silent prayer of thanks. He had believed she was lost to him forever.

  Her small body was rounded in the middle to a proportion that astounded him. She was very pregnant. His heart pounded in his chest. Gathering her up, he carried her into the house and up the steps. The household instantly turned chaotic as his staff scrambled to see what was going on and then to assist.

  “Get me the doctor,” William commanded to no one in particular as he took the stairs as quickly and carefully as he could.

  Octopus had been unable to find her, no matter how much he raised the reward. He had frantically searched for her for months and months.

  He had gone to Fort Worth to find Mandy gone and the store closed. His feverish search continued until his investigators turned up with her belongings. Then he had lived out hell believing she had probably been killed. He had long since ended his engagement with Faith and moved through his days like a dead man himself.

  But here she was alive! And she had come back. Thank God. It was a miracle. Tears ran unbidden down his face.

  Carrying her to his bedroom, he laid her gently on his massive bed. With fingers that trembled, he touched her face. She was beautiful and so fragile. God, she had been running from him in this condition. Pain tore through him like an unsharpened knife.

  He would never be worthy of her. She would probably never have him…but he would offer her the world for the taking and spend the rest of his days making up for the pain he had caused her.

  With hands that trembled, he gently turned her on her side and unbuttoned the tattered, dusty dress.

  Happiness, elation, fear, and love washed over him.

  How could he have thought to live without her? He needed her. She was everything to him. Like a fool he had let her slip away, and now, he didn’t know if she would ever be his.

  The dress wasn’t coming off, he realized as he tried to ease it up over her swollen middle.

  Dear God she was having a baby, his baby. The thought was so overwhelmingly beautiful. But Worthington was going to be born a bastard? Now that just wouldn’t do.

  Thoughts raced through his mind.

  He lifted her and tore the gown down the back and then he gently repositioned her on her back and pulled the gown away. A soft pained moan escaped her lips.

  Please let her be all right. Please.

  Pulling the blanket over her, he tucked it around her shoulders with shaking hands. He fought for calm, but had little control over his emotions.

  “Victoria?” he said softly to her as he brushed his hand across her flushed cheek.

  “Victoria?” he repeated, putting his hand over her forehead to find her skin was hot under his fingers.

  Water — she needed water.

  Going over to the basin, he poured a cup of water and took it back over to the bed.

  “Victoria?” He sat back down on the bed, put his hand under her lifting her up, putting the cup to her lips. Her eyes opened slightly and her lips parted to allow some of the liquid to pass through.

  He let a moment pass then he gave her a little more. When the cup was empty, he gently laid her back on the bed.

  Where was that damned doctor anyway?

  She moaned and fear shot through him again.

  Fifteen endless minutes later the doctor arrived. William refused leave Victoria during the exam. Instead he sat at the head of the bed talking to her whenever she made a sound.

  It didn’t take long for the old family doctor to assess the situation.

  “She is having twins,” he announced, his gray bushy eyebrows drawn
together in a frown.

  Stunned, William stared at the doctor.

  “My God,” William dropped his head into his hands. “When?” His throat was closing.

  “Any time now, she is well into her ninth month from the looks of things, and the babies have dropped. The heartbeats are strong, but it is her I am worried about. She might not last through the birth. Having two babies is very, very difficult, let alone having them in the condition she is in.”

  William could hear the disapproval and questions in the old man’s voice.

  But William wasn’t going to explain.

  “What needs to be done?” William asked fear like none he had ever known, almost sending him to a panic.

  He would not let her go. He could not let her go.

  “I will stay, she needs care, and when she goes into hard labor I will do the best I can,” the doctor said.

  The words “but it may not be enough,” hung silently between them.

  Victoria slept most of the day. From time to time William would give her water under the guidance of the doctor. He had never been so afraid in his life and he refused to leave her, even to eat.

  By the next day she seemed stronger, but she never became coherent. When she opened her eyes, it was only in a half sleep.

  The doctor constantly checked the heartbeats of the babies. Victoria had suffered from lack of water, and the doctor was concerned that it would affect the children.

  In the early afternoon of the second day, Eunice Worthington showed up. She had heard the news about Victoria and had come rushing over to assess the situation and figure a way to overt disaster.

  “William!” Eunice cried as she breezed into the room.

  “What has happened? Where did she go? . . . . oh my gracious!” Seeing the rounded body of the young woman cut a clear picture for the grand Eunice Worthington.

  “She is pregnant!” Eunice’s mouth dropped.

  “You are very observant, Mother,” William said, his eyes never leaving Victoria’s face. “Please be a little bit quieter if that is possible.”