No More Terrible Dates

by Kate O'Keeffe

  “But I’m right, aren’t I?” Erin is persistent. “You’d like to kiss Alex again. Probably more than once.”

  I clench my teeth and draw my lips into a thin line. After a moment, I give a deeply unenthusiastic nod.

  “Interesting.”

  “It’s not interesting. It’s terrible. I’m supposed to be dating Seth. He’s the guy I decided to go out with. He’s the one you and Sophie vetted. And more than that, he’s the good guy here. Alex is . . . well, Alex is not a good guy.”

  She creases her forehead. “Why do you say that? He seems like a great guy to me.”

  I harrumph. A great guy? Alex? I don’t think so. “He’s not.”

  “But—” she begins.

  “Can we leave it at that, please?”

  Erin lets out a puff of air. “Okay, but one of these days you’re going to have to tell me about what happened back then.”

  “Sure.” Like when hell freezes over. “The problem is, we’ve got to work together, and there’s this constant tension between us.”

  She fans her face with her hand. “Oh, I bet there is, girl.”

  “Erin!”

  “Look, you’ve either got to just go for it with the guy and get over the whole high school thing,” Erin says.

  “Or?” I add hopefully.

  “Or you’ll have to set some clear boundaries.”

  I leap on her second idea. The first one is so not an option. “Boundaries sound like an awesome plan. Like what?” I reach down to my purse and pull out my trusty notebook and a pencil, open to a fresh page, and write “Alex: Boundaries” at the top of the page. I underline it twice.

  “What is it about him that makes you want to kiss him again?”

  An image of Alex’s eyes looking at me intensely flashed into my mind. “It’s the way he looks at me.”

  “Oooh, he smolders.”

  I smile. “Yeah, he does.”

  “In that case, tell him he can’t smolder at you anymore.”

  “I can’t say that!” I balk. “It would seem completely weird.”

  She bites her lip. “Good point. You’ll just have to look away at the first sign of one of his smolders coming on.”

  “I guess I can do that.” I write “No smoldering” down as number one. “Good start. What next?”

  “No more kissing. That’s a given.”

  “Definitely.” I write “2. No more kissing” down. “Anything else?”

  “Talk to him about how much you like Seth. The power of positive thinking is proven, you know.”

  I write it down under number three before I look back up at her. “You’re saying I should try and think my way out of my feelings for Alex by talking about Seth?”

  “Exactly. And make sure Alex knows you’re really into Seth. That way, if he tries to kiss you again, you can throw it in his face with the whole ‘I can’t be unfaithful to my man’ kind of thing. If he doesn’t feel bad about that, then he’s not a decent person.”

  “This is good stuff, Erin. I’ve got three points now. What else have you got?”

  She taps her chin for a while before her face creases into a smile. “I guess there’s only one other thing you can do.”

  “What’s that?” I ask, my pencil poised.

  “Pray.”

  I write “4. Pr—” before I stop and look up at her. “Pray? That’s all you’ve got for number four?”

  She crosses her arms. “Tell me again how terrible kissing Alex was.”

  My heart sinks to my shoes. “The opposite of terrible.”

  Erin gives a sage nod. “Pray, honey. A lot. Because from what you’ve told me, I think you’re going to need it.”

  Chapter 14

  I spend the rest of the afternoon and into the evening preparing myself for my date with Seth. Both mentally and physically. As I style my hair into loose waves, apply a second coat of mascara, and slip on my favorite date dress—a halter dress with an A-line skirt in (ironic) Barbie pink—I remind myself of all the things I like about Seth. He’s sweet, honest, and straight-up, plus he’s very good looking. What more can a girl want in a date?

  Really, I’ve blown this whole Alex thing out of proportion. All I need is some space from him, spent with a cute, uncomplicated guy. And Seth is the man for the job. And anyway, thanks to my discussion with Erin at High Tea today, I’ve got my four-point manifesto for dealing with Alex. I have totally got this.

  The buzzer sounds and Erin calls out, “I’ll get it,” as I smooth my lipstick on and take one final check in the mirror. Date-ready, I reach the living room as Erin is leaving the front door ajar for Seth.

  “Remember,” she stage whispers as though he’s within earshot, “no thinking about kissing anyone but Seth.”

  “Got it,” I say with a nod, although my mind betrays me with a traitorous memory before I can even think the word “boundaries.”

  “Knock, knock,” Seth calls out at the front door.

  Erin shoots me an encouraging smile. “Good luck, girl.”

  “Thanks.” I collect my purse from the kitchen table. “Coming, Seth,” I call out as head out to meet him.

  “Wow, you look incredible, Darcy,” he says as he plants a soft kiss on my cheek.

  I take in his sports jacket over a white polo and pressed jeans. Although he’s only twenty-nine, he dresses a lot like my dad. I push the thought away. “You do, too.”

  “I’ve got an Uber waiting for us downstairs.”

  “Great.”

  “Bye, you two,” Erin says behind me. “Have fun.”

  “We will,” Seth says as he slips his arm around my waist.

  Down at street level, we slide into the car, and he takes my hand in his. “Do you like sushi?” he asks.

  “Of course. Who doesn’t?”

  It’s a rhetorical question, but he takes it literally. “My mom. And my cousin Dale. They don’t eat fish or shellfish. Weird, huh?”

  “Weird.”

  “I mean, what would they do if they were stranded on a desert island? Starve to death?”

  “I bet there wouldn’t be a whole lot of sushi on a deserted island.”

  He snorts with laughter. “Beautiful and funny. You’re the real deal, aren’t you, Darcy?” He squeezes my hand, and I smile at him. Seth’s sweet and generous. I’m lucky to be dating him.

  We pull up outside a restaurant in the swanky Britomart area of downtown Auckland city.

  “Do you want to have a drink before we eat?” he asks.

  “Sure, sounds great.”

  We cross the street and enter a busy bar with people chatting and a live band playing loudly.

  “What would you like to drink?” he yells into my ear.

  “A glass of Chardonnay, please.”

  With our drinks in hands, he yells, “Shall we try upstairs? It might be quieter.”

  I give him the thumbs-up, and he takes me by the hand. We walk up a flight of stairs into another part of the bar. The place is still busy, but a whole lot quieter than downstairs. I spy an empty table and two chairs on a balcony, which we sit down at.

  “To us,” he says raising his glass.

  “To us,” I reply as we clink glasses. I take a sip. The cool wine slips down my throat and warms my belly.

  “How was your week?” I ask him.

  “I was busy, as usual,” he begins.

  As he tells me about his work dramas, I listen intently. It’s clear he cares about what he does and enjoys success. Both very attractive things in a man. So, that’s two big ticks for Seth. Not that I’m running a tally on him or anything. It’s simply useful to focus on the positives. Glass half full and all that.

  “Tell me something, Darcy. Is this our second or third date? I get confused.”

  “Well, according to the No More Bad Dates Pact, this is date number two,” I say.

  “You’re so cute with your pact.”

  “Thanks,” I reply uncertainly. “Do you mean that or are you being sarcastic?”


  “Oh, I mean it. You’re taking control, taking the horse by the reins.”

  “Exactly,” I reply with a nod. “Looking for guys like you.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. So our third date will be my show jumping event.”

  “I’m really looking forward to it. That would be amazing. I love horses.”

  “Eventing is one of my passions, and I’m so excited I get to share it with you. Although I do need to warn you, this is eventing with a difference.”

  I beam at him. “I’m sure I’ll love it.”

  “I really hope you do.”

  “Do you wear the whole equestrian outfit? You know, the black jacket, the knee-high boots, the tan pants that pouf out?”

  He smiles. “They’re called ‘jodhpurs,’ and of course I do. You’ve got to look the part, you know.”

  I beam at him as I imagine Seth in his equestrian clothes, looking completely dashing. He must look like Mr. Darcy out for his morning ride. Formal, dapper, and oh-so cute. I’m more than a little excited when my belly does a little flip at the thought. Yes! This is exactly what I need! Forget about Alex, Seth is an equestrian hottie, and I’m the lucky girl who gets to be out on a date with him.

  “I bet you look good,” I say shyly.

  “I’m far too modest to say that,” he replies with a cheeky grin.

  Fortified by our growing bond, I decide to tackle this Alex thing head-on.

  “Seth, can I ask you something?”

  “Anything?”

  “Are you any good at smoldering?”

  His eyebrows ping up in surprise. “Excuse me?”

  “You know, smoldering.” I draw the word out for emphasis. “All sexy and whatnot.”

  “Oh, ah, I’m not sure.” He pulls a face that makes him look like he’s either got trapped wind or eaten a dodgy curry.

  “Are you okay?” I ask.

  The expression disappears. “That was my attempt at a smolder.”

  It was? Oh, dear sweet Lord.

  “It was really good, Seth. You’ve got a talent there. A smolder talent.”

  Damn Alex and his expert smoldering! I felt sure Seth—who I might add is just as good looking as Alex, if not more so—would be able to produce an equally knee-weakening smolder.

  He grins at me, clearly chuffed with his efforts. “I must remember to smolder more often, then.”

  I paste on a smile. “Absolutely.”

  Oh, please no.

  He pulls the weird face once more, and I titter nervously before I take a large gulp of wine. I need to focus on the equestrian thing. That worked a treat before. Seth on a horse. Seth looking like Mr. Darcy. Seth whisking me off my feet and carrying me to his castle. Okay, I may be getting a little carried away, but it’s working.

  Just as long as he doesn’t try to smolder again.

  We finish our drinks and, flush with the wine and my renewed sense of attraction for Seth, continue to the restaurant where we enjoy a tasty meal. Conversation flows, and by the end of the evening, we are standing by the entrance to my building, and I know we’re about to have our second kiss.

  He takes a step closer to me, and my nerves kick up a notch. “I had a really good time tonight.”

  “Me too. That new sushi place is really good.”

  “Who knew sushi could be fused with Thai and Mexican food at the same time?” he replies with a smile.

  “It sure sounds like it should be a total disaster.”

  “Exactly.” He slides a hand around my waist. This is it. Seth and I are going to kiss for the second time, and it’s going to be amazing. So amazing, in fact, it’ll knock me sideways and dispel any memories of Alex. I’m absolutely sure of it.

  He angles his head down, and I tilt mine up. As his lips brush mine, I let out an expectant sigh. It’s a nice kiss. Soft, tentative at first, careful. Pleasant. Really, there’s nothing wrong with it. Not too soft, not too hard. But . . . but what? He’s sweet, he’s cute, he’s into me, and I’ve even had a couple of belly flips tonight. This should work.

  I know what! All I need to do is think of sexy things. That’s it. If I think of sexy things while I’m kissing Seth, I’ll feel all the things I’m supposed to be feeling.

  Here goes nothing. Seth on a horse. Seth looking like Mr. Darcy.

  I kiss him again and . . . nothing. Well, not nothing, exactly. But nothing in comparison with locking lips with He Who Shall Not Be Named. (Not Voldemort, by the way. Alex.)

  I pull away and muster a smile from somewhere. “Thanks, I’d, ah, better get inside.”

  “Shall I come up?”

  “No,” I reply hurriedly. “No, my, ah, roommate’s sick,” I lie and instantly feel bad about it. “I would hate for you to catch it.”

  His forehead creases in concern or confusion, I don’t quite know which. “Erin’s sick? She looked all right before we went out.”

  A brainwave hits. “She messaged me. That’s what she did. She messaged me during our dinner to say she was sick. Terribly, terribly sick. Vomit and mucous and all that nasty stuff.”

  Lies, lies, lies. Gah! I’m a truly horrible person.

  “Vomit and mucous? Wow, that sounds serious. Should we take her to see a doctor?”

  Wy does he have to be so sweet? And why can’t I enjoy kissing him more?

  “Oh, I’m sure she’ll be okay,” I say with a wave of my hand. “But I’d hate for you to catch it, you know, before your big show jumping event.”

  He stands up taller. “That’s very thoughtful of you, Darcy. Thank you. I guess I’ll be going then.” He leans in for another kiss, and I quickly peck him on the lips, like he’s my aged aunt with upper lip whiskers and the last thing I want to do is kiss her crinkled, hairy skin.

  “Goodnight,” I trill as I turn and bolt up the steps to my building. As I swing the door open, I catch a glimpse of his confused face before I dash up the stairs.

  Once in my apartment, the door safely closed, I lean up against it and drop my purse to the floor. I scrunch my eyes shut and try not to think it, but there’s no use. No matter how much I will myself not to, all I can think about is how kissing Seth felt absolutely nothing like kissing Alex.

  Chapter 15

  “More tea?” Erin asks as she holds the pretty china teapot in her hands.

  “More tea would be simply wonderful,” I reply with a bright smile.

  We’re back at High Tea. I know, I know. Twice in a matter of a mere handful of days does seem a little indulgent. What can I say? There are a lot of things going on for me right now. Alex has me twisted up into an emotional pretzel, I’ve been working myself ragged on getting this gallery ready for its opening in just over a week, and I’ve got to visualize Seth dressed as Mr. Darcy just so I can kiss him.

  All in all, it’s amazing I can even function. Bring on the sugary treats.

  Of course, it helps that Larissa is out of town for the day, and if you catch Erin in the right mood, she’s easily persuaded to skip out on her job for a couple of hours. She said she’s always in dire need of some estrogen to balance out all the testosterone she’s got to deal with in her job at Auckland City Club. Really, my heart bleeds for the poor girl being surrounded by hot rugby players. Some people have it so tough, right?

  So here we both sit—a three-tiered cake stand on our table, crammed full of delicious treats—as we chat, listen to the relaxing music, and sip our tea. It’s perfect girl time. Well, it would be if it weren’t for the current state of my life polluting my brain.

  I hold my teacup up for Erin. “Don’t you love the way these Cozy Cottage High Tea cups are so elegant and cute? This is no regular beverage. They make you feel like you’re sipping something really special.”

  She pours tea into my china cup with a little giggle.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Nothing. It’s just you’re in a bit of a manic mood today.”

  My mind darts instantly to Alex. If I’m manic, it’s only because I have so many confusing feelings about hi
m. I want to murder him slowly, but I want to kiss him again, too. Seriously, this situation is not good for my mental wellbeing.

  I delay my response by taking a sip my hot tea. I place my cup on its matching saucer and calmly state, “I’m not manic. I’m perfectly fine, as you can see.”

  Erin gives me a knowing look. “Oh, you so are manic, girl. And I know exactly why.”

  I shake my head and implore her with my gaze. “Don’t say it. Don’t say it.”

  “Look, you should at least talk about it, babe.” Her eyes light up when she leans in closer to me. “Has he kissed you again?”

  I lift my eyebrows and feign innocence. “Who?”

  “Don’t pretend you don’t know who I’m talking about. We’re at High Tea again, in the middle of the workweek no less, and you’ve skipped all the savory treats and gone straight for the sugar. I know you too well, Darcy Evans.”

  I let out a puff of air. “There’s been no more kissing.”

  Erin’s face drops. “I was sure there had been.”

  I slowly shake my head from side to side. “I’ve been deploying my four-point manifesto of boundaries, remember? Any time he’s smoldered at me or stood too close, I’ve maneuvered myself away.”

  “It’s working?” Erin asks, surprised.

  “Either that or he got the message.”

  “Maybe his attraction to you was a fleeting thing for him. Maybe he felt something for you in the moment, and now that moment has gone. Poof, in a cloud of smoke.”

  “That would be ideal.” My heart sinks, and my shoulders slump as I think of Alex not having any feelings for me. Even though I know it would be so much simpler, I feel a little empty inside.

  “Say it like you mean it, babe,” Erin replies.

  “I do mean it. Kissing Alex was a momentary lapse of reason on my part. And anyway, I’m dating someone else, and he’s just the kind of guy we set up the No More Bad Dates Pact to find.”

  “Exactly. Do you know how few genuinely nice guys there are out there?”

  “Sadly, I do.”

  “I found you your great guy, now I need to find one for myself.”