But For Grace (HEARTSONG PRESENTS - HISTORICAL)

by Tracey V. Bateman

  Rosemary’s words of reasoning fled Michael’s mind at the abuse Star was taking. He’d had all he could abide. In a few short strides, he reached Star and grabbed hold of her arm. “Come on, we’re going home!”

  She gasped and turned sharply. “Michael!”

  Heat seared Michael’s chest as a steaming bowl of beef stew slid down his shirt.

  Nine

  Star stared in horror at Michael.

  He winced at what must surely burn like fire.

  “What are you doing here?” she whispered, though she doubted he could hear her through the raucous laughter filling the dining room—completely at Michael’s expense.

  “I came to take you home,” he replied through gritted teeth.

  Resenting his assumption that she would jump at the chance to return to the farm, Star nevertheless couldn’t help the thrill she felt that he’d come after her.

  He pulled out his handkerchief and uselessly rubbed at the mess down the front of his shirt. “Doesn’t look like you’re cut out for this kind of job anyway.”

  “I wouldn’t have spilled the food if you hadn’t pulled my arm and scared me half to death.”

  He glowered. “Is that so?”

  “Yes,” she snapped back. “I am good at serving customers. It’s what I did at Luke’s. . . .” She broke off and clamped her lips together. Clearing her throat, she then slowly forced herself to meet his inquisitive gaze.

  “You didn’t leave so much as a note.”

  The quiet statement sent a quiver through her stomach. “I know, and that was wrong of me. I should have explained.”

  Stepping closer, he towered above her, taking Star’s breath away. “Explain now.”

  “Hey, Girl! Is that my food your beau’s wearing?”

  The room erupted in renewed laughter.

  Dread wormed its way through her stomach as Joe appeared at the kitchen door, obviously summoned by the noise.

  “What’s going on out here?” he demanded, then seeing Michael’s shirt, he scowled. “Guess I just lost me another worthless serving girl.”

  “No, please!”

  “It was my fault, Joe. I grabbed her arm.”

  The grizzled cook glanced from one to the other, grunted, and fixed his gaze on Star. “That’s coming out of yer pay. Get back here and dish up another bowl. Harvey ain’t gonna wait all day.”

  “Yes, Sir,” Star replied, her cheeks burning under the reprimand.

  “Jane!” Joe bellowed. “Get out here and clean up that mess the new girl just made.”

  “Please, don’t bother Jane. I’ll clean it up in a jiffy—just as soon as I take Harvey a fresh bowl of stew.”

  “You got yer hands full. Or are you trying to tell me how to run my business? I fired the last girl because she thought she knew how to run the business better than me.”

  “Oh, no, Sir!”

  “Fine.” He closed the kitchen door, but his voice slammed through the wood and filled the entire dining room as he hollered once more. “Jane! Get down here and clean up this mess!”

  Never in all her years of serving food at Luke’s had Star spilled anything on a customer. Now Michael had to go and make her look incompetent. She turned her glare upon him. Gathering a deep breath for control, she focused on keeping her voice calm. “I am sorry I didn’t say good-bye. It was truly inexcusable. But as you can see, I have my hands full at the moment.”

  He scowled. “Would it interest you to know that Aimee cried because you left?”

  “She did?” Oh, the darling child. Star already missed her terribly.

  “Yes, she did. And Ma wants you to come back. She told me not to come home without you.”

  Star’s heart sank. “Excuse me, Michael. I have to go and dish up another bowl of stew.” Giving him no chance to protest, Star retrieved the dishes from the floor and headed into the back room.

  Disappointment sang a bitter song inside of her head. So he hadn’t come to bring her back because he cared for her and missed her himself. He was simply doing his mother’s bidding. At least Miss Hannah and Aimee loved her. Would it have made a difference if he’d come of his own volition? Perhaps. But Star knew God had led her to leave, had led her to Rosemary, and even Joe’s, though she hated the job already and she had only been working for three hours.

  When she returned to the dining room, Michael stood in exactly the same place she’d left him. “I need to speak with you,” he growled.

  A heavy sigh escaped Star’s lips. “Michael, I can’t talk now. You’ll either have to wait or leave.”

  “Fine,” he said with a stubborn tightening of his jaw. “I’ll wait.” He located an empty table and sat in a chair next to it.

  Without another glance in Michael’s direction, Star delivered the food to her disgruntled customer and caught up with the rest of her work. A good twenty minutes later, Michael still sat alone at the table, scowling.

  She gathered a steadying breath and walked toward him.

  “Now, let me explain,” she said. “I appreciate your kindness more than you’ll ever know, Michael. I know how blessed I am that God saw fit to lead you to me and that you saw fit to put me in your wagon and save me from Clem and Luke.”

  “Then how could you leave?” He glanced purposefully around the dining room. “I know we don’t have a fancy home, but surely it’s preferable to this sort of life.”

  “I suppose that depends on your perspective.” Star’s defenses rose a bit at his superior tone. “There’s nothing wrong with a person putting in a hard day’s work—even if that work includes serving food and cleaning up after people.” She gave a short laugh. “That’s what wives do all day. It’s good, honest work.”

  “Is that what you think being a wife is? Just a lot of work equal to this sort of life?”

  “That’s not what I—”

  But he gave her no chance to finish. He stood, towering above her. “I’ll tell Ma you’ve made your choice. I hope you don’t live to regret it.” With that, he turned and strode through the room and left without looking back.

  Tears pricked Star’s eyes, but there was no time to allow them free rein as a half dozen more customers walked through the door and demanded her attention. Grateful for the diversion, Star immersed herself in keeping Joe and the diners satisfied. It was after eight when the last customer left. Star spent the next two hours cleaning the dining room, washing dishes, and restocking supplies for the following day. When she stepped outside, it was past eleven. She was weary to her bones, but satisfied that she’d put in a good day’s labor.

  Though the night was chilly, she couldn’t help but enjoy the fresh air. She gathered a few deep, cleansing breaths.

  “Star?”

  She jumped. “Oh, Michael. You nearly scared the life out of me.”

  “Lucky for me you didn’t have hot food in your hands.”

  “What are you doing in town? You must be dog tired.”

  “I came back in after supper. I brought the rest of your things.”

  “I brought everything that belongs to me.”

  “What about the Bible I gave you or the two pretty dresses you and Ma made?”

  Star glanced at the ground. “I didn’t want you to feel as though I took advantage.”

  “Who else is going to wear them?”

  He had a point there. Star smiled and nodded. “All right. I’ll pay you back as I’m paid.”

  Michael scowled. “We’ll discuss that at a later time. As far as the Bible goes, that was a gift. I want you to have it.”

  Unable to refuse, Star nodded again. “Thank you, Michael. I’ll take good care of it, and if you ever need it or want it back, I promise not to make a fuss.”

  With an exasperated sigh, Michael reached out and captured her chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to meet his gaze. “I will never take that Bible away from you. Get that through your head. It’s yours forever—or for however long you’d like to keep it.”

  “I’ll kee
p it forever,” she whispered, her heart beating so fast she thought she might pass out from the sheer joy of his soft touch. The way his eyes studied her face, the sudden intake of his breath as his gaze lowered to her mouth, made her legs go weak.

  He released her chin and motioned toward the road. “Come on to the wagon, and I’ll drive you over to the boardinghouse.”

  Fighting disappointment, Star slipped her hand inside the arm he gallantly offered. “How did you know I’m staying there?”

  “Rosemary caught me earlier and explained that you were going to share her room.”

  He helped her to the wagon seat.

  As she watched him walk around to his side and climb up, Star was struck by a painfully brilliant idea. She was never going to be the sort of woman Michael had in mind for a wife. Even if by some miracle he fell in love with her, once he found out about Mama and Luke and the real reason Clem had been following her, he would be horrified and never speak to her again. Rosemary was everything a man like Michael could want in a wife, and Aimee would adore her. After all, hadn’t she already said Miss Rosemary was beautiful?

  “Michael?”

  “Yeah?” The wagon lurched forward as he flapped the reins.

  Even in the pale light of the moon, his handsome face caused her heart to still and she almost changed her mind. But she bravely forged ahead at the thought of little Aimee and her need for a good ma.

  “What do you think of Rosemary?”

  “I hardly ever think about her at all. Why do you ask?”

  “I don’t know. Just wondering.”

  “I suppose she’s a mite opinionated.”

  “But you like that. At least we’ve had some lively discussions.”

  “Well. . .I reckon that’s true. What brought this on, anyway?”

  “I heard from Rosemary today that the lady’s society is hosting a bazaar to raise money to build the new school next summer. That way, the church won’t have to serve as the school too.”

  “Yeah, Hank and I discussed it this evening while I was waiting for you.”

  “I’m sure Rosemary doesn’t have an escort.”

  “You think Hank should ask her? As a matter of fact, that’s not a bad idea. Ma’s been pestering him something awful about a preacher needing a wife.” He grinned. “Look at us, playing matchmakers.”

  Letting out a frustrated breath, she decided to take a more direct approach. “But, Michael, don’t you think Rosemary’s pretty?”

  He shrugged. “I suppose she’s pleasing to the eye. Come to think of it, I guess she’s more than a little pretty, isn’t she? I never thought of it before.”

  Star wasn’t prepared for the pain his honest words would inflict, and she couldn’t bring herself to go through with it. She’d planted a seed. Her part was done. Should he take the hint and invite Rosemary to the bazaar, Star would try her best not to let jealousy come between her and her new friend. Somehow she couldn’t help but hope Rosemary would take a liking to the parson and leave Michael alone.

  ❧

  Michael gathered a deep breath as he watched Star walk into the boardinghouse. Mrs. Barker, the dragon who ran the place, stood at the door in her nightcap, clutching her dressing gown to her throat as though he might ravage her any second. Comical as that might be, Michael resented anyone refusing him access to Star. For the past weeks, he’d had the benefit of her company whenever he wished. And often when he didn’t particularly wish, but at least there hadn’t been this constant ache he now felt in her absence.

  Just why he should feel this way about a girl like Star, he wasn’t sure. He’d be a fool and a liar to try to make anyone believe he wasn’t drawn to her beauty. She was an uncommon beauty, despite her obvious attempts to make herself plain. Why she was trying to make herself look like Mrs. Barker was beyond him. But there was more to it than merely a physical attraction. He looked forward to hearing about Aimee’s antics from Star’s animated lips. Ma did a fair amount of talking about his daughter’s adventures, but not with the delight with which Star could weave a tale. Star spoke with all the love, pride, and indulgence of a doting mother.

  A frown creased Michael’s brow, and he urged the horses faster. A doting mother? Where had such an ignorant thought come from? Star. . .a mother. Beautiful, childlike Star who knew nothing about being a mother. Half the time, she seemed more like an older sister to Aimee. How old was she anyway? Eighteen? Well, that was old enough, he supposed. He’d been barely more than that when he married Sarah. But what about her manners, her swearing? He had to admit, though, it had been a long time since he’d heard a curse word fly past those beautiful, rosebud lips.

  A war raged inside of him the rest of the way home. On one hand, Star was a breath of fresh spring air. She filled his senses every waking moment and his dreams at night. She loved his daughter and the feeling was mutual. His mother felt Star could do no wrong and had come to the conclusion that if she’d stolen anything, it was with a right good reason, and Ma chose to forget it.

  Problem was, Michael couldn’t forget. If he didn’t have an impressionable daughter to consider, things might be different; but for all of her softening and apparent spiritual growth, Star still hadn’t opened up about anything in her past. She hadn’t confessed about stealing. The times he’d hinted at it, she’d quickly changed the subject.

  Michael’s heavy heart grew even heavier and by the time he got the horses bedded down for the night and entered the house, he was convinced more than ever that Star couldn’t be the woman for him. Though he strongly felt God had brought Star into their lives, he had to be realistic. No matter how his sentimental heart wished otherwise, she wasn’t his. They had rescued her and introduced her to the Word and helped her understand fundamental truths about being a Christian. Now God had sent her out on her own like a baby bird leaving the nest. Would she fly or come crashing down and return to her life of thievery?

  “Well? Where is she?”

  Ma’s demanding voice startled him. “What are you doing up?”

  “Do you think I could sleep without knowing when Star’s coming home?”

  “As I told you earlier, she made her decision.”

  Ma heaved a sigh and plopped down in a chair by the table. “I had hoped she would change her mind and come on home with you. It’s amazing how easily the heart attaches itself to another heart, isn’t it?”

  “I suppose.” Michael knew better than to agree too readily, though Ma pretty much summed it up. His heart was attached to Star. It would be awhile before he was able to detach. It wouldn’t do anyone a bit of good to let Ma in on that fact.

  “Well, what are you going to do about it?”

  “What do you mean? There’s nothing else I can do. Last I heard, kidnapping is a crime.”

  “Aren’t you just the clever one?” Ma’s wounded tone shamed Michael.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sass. But, truly, Ma, there’s nothing we can do to keep her here if she wants to leave. She feels she needs to make it on her own.”

  “Hogwash. She feels uncomfortable living with a widower, his daughter, and mother. She doesn’t believe we really need her, and all the funny looks she received yesterday at service made her feel like an outsider.”

  “What looks?” Michael scowled, indignation rising in his breast. Who had the nerve to give Star any looks?

  Ma rolled her eyes. “You men don’t notice anything unless it smacks you on the head.”

  “Rosemary said Star left for our sakes.”

  Ma nodded. “I figured as much. She doesn’t want folks suggesting improper things about you.”

  Michael’s neck warmed. “Who would think anything improper is going on with my ma and little girl in the house?”

  “Just about everyone, I’d venture to guess. That’s just the nature of things. I’m ashamed to say, I might think the same thing in their position. Star is a beautiful young woman, and you are a handsome and lonely widower.”

  “Ma!”

 
“Oh, now. You’re a grown man. Don’t play innocent with me. I know you’re a decent man and would never take advantage of a situation like this. Anyone should know that after you married that floozy instead of just—”

  “Ma. . .”

  “I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.”

  “You shouldn’t speak ill of anyone, but that’s not the point. Sarah was Aimee’s mother, and I don’t ever want Aimee to feel she has cause to be ashamed. I don’t want to chance her overhearing the truth about her ma.”

  Ma reached over and covered Michael’s hand. “You’re a good man, Son. I know God has a woman for you. You deserve some happiness.”

  Michael retreated inwardly, waiting. . . .

  “I’d hoped that maybe you’d cast your attention toward Star.”

  Clearing his throat, Michael turned his hand over and squeezed Ma’s. “She isn’t right for Aimee and me.”

  “Why? Because she’s beautiful? Or because she wasn’t nursed on the Ten Commandments?”

  “Because the only thing I know about her is that she’s accused of being a thief, and I’m not convinced the man was lying.”

  “Then why don’t you just ask her about it? If she admits to it, why then you have proof that she’s changed. If she denies it, then the man was lying.”

  “What if she’s the one lying?”

  Standing, Ma gave a careless wave. “Star couldn’t tell a lie to save her life.” She shook her head and chuckled. “Remember the other day when she pelted Cannonball with eggs?”

  Unable to resist the sweet memory, Michael laughed outright. “Poor Cannonball was forced to have a bath. I don’t think he’ll ever forgive her.”

  “My point is that her conscience won’t allow her to do anything that she feels is a sin.”

  Cynicism returning in full force, Michael snorted. “Maybe she doesn’t feel stealing is a sin. Have you checked your valuables?”

  Eyes narrowing, Ma shook her finger. “I am ashamed of you. You know that sweet girl would rather chop off her hand than to do anything to hurt this family—or anyone else, I’d vow. You can deny that you care about her all you want, but I’ll not have you implying anything improper about her character in my presence. You’re so concerned with what Aimee might think of her mother, well, let me tell you, Star has been more of a ma to that child than Sarah ever could have been. It would hurt Aimee much more to hear her pa saying hateful things against Star than the ma she never knew.”