A Date with Desire

by Heather McGovern

  With a small sip, he went to work unsealing containers and serving two plates of food, as pretty as anything she’d ever seen in a restaurant.

  “That’s impressive.”

  “Wright is a nag about presentation. I can’t take any credit for the food. He made the meal, along with detailed instructions about how to serve.”

  Flank steak, some kind of small salad, carrots in a glaze, roasted potatoes, and a loaf of bread that smelled divine.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say you’re hungry.”

  “I’m hungry.”

  They ate the scrumptious meal, Dev insisting she try his steak because it might be better than her steak.

  She wished he’d packed wine, but understood if he wasn’t one to drink anymore. Still, wine would dull her confusion, her dilemma and unreasonable wish. But that’d take the whole bottle.

  She was leaving in a few days, and the days were passing too fast. Dev worked longer hours, but they still found time. The last couple of weeks had been some of the best of her life; it would soon come to an end, and . . . she wanted to say something.

  But what?

  Tell Dev he was about the best thing that’d ever happened to her, and best of luck, have a nice life?

  That wouldn’t do.

  Tell him he’d saved her from the ditch of depression and made her feel capable of carrying on again, and how about he leave everything and everyone he loved and come to Atlanta to be with her?

  That wouldn’t work either.

  What had she done? What had she gotten herself into? This was supposed to be a simple arrangement. A deal they made that she’d help him out with his project, and he’d help her unwind.

  But it’d become so much more than that, and she couldn’t make what they shared fit back into something easily defined.

  Dev set his fork down with a clatter. “I have more good news.”

  “Do tell.” Anna shifted, sitting up straighter. Good news was perfect; anything to make her stop thinking about leaving.

  “Madison got your ad in on the fly. It’s hitting newspapers tomorrow and she’ll have it in June’s issues of a couple of bigger regional magazines. Barely under the wire, but the ad will run everywhere we wanted it to.”

  “That’s so great!” She shared a kiss with him, but couldn’t help but wonder what Dev told Madison about where the ad came from.

  Not because she wanted credit, the ad was her thank-you for the past weeks, but would any of them—Madison, his friend Wright, Roark, Sophie—would any of them ever know of her existence?

  Would she come and go from Dev’s life, like she’d never been there at all? Seemed impossible, considering his impact on her, but she didn’t know and he wasn’t one to say either.

  She didn’t want to be some ghost in his life, someone who’d drifted in and out, never to be spoken of. Yet, what were her options? She had none. His family couldn’t know, and she had to go. She’d done this to herself, and that’s what twisted her up inside.

  In a matter of days, she’d leave, and his family, the closest people in his life, would know nothing about her. They wouldn’t even know she existed, or the difference Dev had made in her life.

  Over two weeks they’d gone along like this, and the secrecy hadn’t bothered her. She paid no mind because hiding made sense. All she’d wanted was time with Dev, and she’d gotten it. But this man knew more about her than anyone. She’d told him about her mother. If she asked, he’d go with her to spread her father’s ashes.

  The two of them weren’t simply a fling anymore. What began as a fun flirtation, then a deal of mutual satisfaction, wasn’t staying in the little box anymore.

  And she had no idea what to do about it. Wanting to do anything about it at all was selfish. They had a deal. She agreed to this, happily. Willingly.

  “So the ad will start running tomorrow.” She had to stop thinking and start talking, or she’d work herself up into a fit.

  “Yes. I can’t believe it. This is really happening.”

  “What does your family think? Are they excited?” Why had she asked about his family? Hearing more only rubbed salt in the wound.

  “Ecstatic. Sophie’s helped me a ton. She’s been great.”

  Anna should stop listening. Stop asking. Stop getting closer and closer to him. For days, that’s all she’d wanted. It’s all she wanted still, but the needs of her heart didn’t change the fact she was leaving. She had no choice. Being closer to Dev would only make it hurt more when she left.

  In Atlanta she had a home, a successful job and responsibilities. A life.

  Honeywilde was vacation and fun and relaxation. And a wonderful man. This getaway had served its purpose, but that’s precisely all it could be. A getaway. Not real life. The other option was to come back. Occasionally. Visits. But that’d only reopen the wound, every time, and she wasn’t a masochist.

  “And get this.” Dev touched her hand. “Roark hasn’t just been onboard, he’s happy about it now. Pleased with something that wasn’t his idea and excited. I think.”

  Dev’s mouth fell open as he overdramatized his shock, his lips soon curling into a smile showing all his teeth.

  He was thrilled, and Anna was thrilled for him.

  “I know I shouldn’t give my brother such hell. He’s a good guy. I can’t help it though. This might be the first time ever that I’ve gotten to lead . . . anything.”

  “Makes sense. You want to please Roark and do something on your own that he’d be proud of. I was the same way with my dad. I liked him being proud of me.”

  “Roark isn’t my father.”

  Dev’s curt response drew her up short, his defensiveness revealing plenty. Probably more than Dev was ready to accept about his relationship with his brother.

  “I mean . . .” He immediately laughed off his serious reaction. “Sure, I’ve done plenty he doesn’t approve of, so it might be nice to have one thing he’s okay with. Other times I intentionally irritate the shit out of him, because someone has to. He’d have everyone marking time otherwise. Someone has to shake him up.”

  A muscle twitched and pulled in his cheek. “He once sent me an email with suit suggestions for an event. The celebrity wedding we held in the fall actually. The whole thing almost goes mushroom cloud, Roark’s girlfriend—the event coordinator—runs away, but he gets her back, they get everything pulled together, and Roark still finds time to tell me I should wear my navy suit or the black one to the wedding, but definitely not the gray.”

  “You’re making that up.”

  “I still have the email. I’ll show you.”

  “He does it because he cares.”

  “And because he can’t turn off the role of raising us. At least Soph and Trevor get some of it too. He went out and bought a suit for poor Trev to wear. But, in all fairness, if he hadn’t, Trevor would’ve shown up in jeans or a brown leisure suit.”

  “What did you end up wearing to the wedding?”

  “Come on now. What do you think? The gray one, of course. And the wedding was still a huge success. Even with me in a gray suit.”

  Even his smirk hurt. And she was self-centered to let his happiness make her sad, but it did.

  In three days, her visit at Honeywilde would end. She’d leave without all the weight she’d dragged here, with less grief and without the stress of being overworked.

  But she’d also leave without Devlin.

  When she was done here and went back to Atlanta, to see if she could manage her life any better, she’d be going back to a life that didn’t include him.

  Her days, without Dev’s smirk, his wit, his insistence that she try to let go of her doubts, would be long and dull. Lonesome and as sad as when she’d left to come here.

  She was better now than the day she checked in, but she’d only solved some of her existing problems, and had created new ones.

  With a smile that made her face ache, she squeezed Dev’s hand. “You’re going to have a
huge success with this festival too, I can feel it. I hope you and your family are ready.”

  “We will be.” Dev stuck a piece of bread in his mouth and took a long time to chew.

  A success she wouldn’t be around to witness.

  She could come up to the festival itself, but then she’d have to leave. Again. A long-distance relationship was out of the question. Hundreds of miles away, both of them busy. With her job and insecurities, their time apart would be a recipe for failure. Not that Dev had given any indication he had interest beyond the here and now.

  He’d been very honest that day, in their agreement. She’d help him with the festival and he’d show her how to have fun. Anna was his good time, and while she had no doubt he cared about her, that didn’t mean he wanted some long-distance relationship.

  And Dev would never ask her to give up anything for him. Even if she wanted to, even if she could, he’d never ask.

  “Speaking of, I was thinking, what if you . . . what if you didn’t leave?”

  Or would he?

  “Wha . . .” She could only imagine her blank-faced expression. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, what if you stayed here?”

  She’d be happy forever.

  No. No, she wouldn’t. She couldn’t stay. That was ludicrous. Staying meant quitting her job and quitting her job meant she’d have nothing. Sinking her career would eventually lead to resenting Dev, and it’d be all her fault.

  Besides, stay and do what? Be jobless, penniless, and hidden up in Cabin Five until Dev was ready to tell his family about her? Even if he told them tomorrow, she had nothing here but Devlin. She couldn’t survive off writing ads for Honeywilde’s once-a-year festival. Her career was who she was.

  For years she’d pushed back against her mother’s ideal of dropping everything just to have a man; she couldn’t do that now.

  “I . . .” If she gave up everything to stay with him, it’d mean jumping off a ledge; a ledge over the unknown, where she could plummet to failure, or fly. “I can’t.”

  * * *

  Dev grabbed his tea and buried his face in a sip. His heart hammered in his chest, the sound thumping in his ears.

  Of course she couldn’t; the idea was irrational, short-sighted and selfish, but he couldn’t help it because having her here was what he wanted. “That’s . . . I knew it was a stretch, but—”

  “What would I do here? I mean, if I stayed. Where would I work? How would I support myself?”

  “I don’t . . .” He shrugged. He hadn’t thought out all of the details. All he knew was he didn’t want to lose her and if she felt the same, maybe they could figure something out. “I don’t know.”

  Anna was leaving in three days. He didn’t want her to go, but staying meant giving up her life; giving up everything she’d worked so hard for, just to be with him.

  Stupid idea and he cursed himself for even mentioning it.

  She had the kind of life people dreamed of, strove for, worked toward for years. Giving that up with no prospect, no guarantee, or even a chance that she could have that kind of life in podunk Windamere, was impossible.

  Sure, Madison had come here to be with Roark, but she could do her job anywhere.

  And Roark could promise things, and deliver. He could do anything he wanted.

  Dev had nothing to offer Anna. A tour guide and a good time, but she deserved someone who provided a million times more than some advice on how to have fun.

  He could ask to see Anna again though. For all the good it’d do. Hell, it’d probably only hurt worse. Seeing her again in a few weeks, only to have her leave again for an indefinite amount of time.

  “Of course I want to see you again,” she finally said, her gaze distant.

  He worked his shoulders up and down, that knot twisting in his chest, pressing on his ribs. “Could you come up for the festival?” It wasn’t enough, but it’d have to do.

  Anna blinked and glanced away again. She blinked some more, her breath slowing. “I could. I should be able to get some time off.”

  When her gaze met his, exhaustion filled her eyes. He felt it in his bones.

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  Dev frowned. “It’s . . . it’s fine. I understand. We had a deal, and I knew you weren’t going to be here forever. You can’t drop everything just to . . . don’t be sorry.”

  None of this was ideal; he understood that. He wasn’t a total idiot. They’d gotten themselves into a no-win situation. He sure as hell didn’t have the solution, and Anna’s eyes were so sad they shredded his heart.

  She sniffed, unable to stop her lips from wobbling. “I’m so sorry.” Immediately, he had her in his arms.

  He swept her up, refusing to be the cause of her tears. “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not,” she said into his shirt. “This sucks.”

  He hid his smile in her hair. It did suck. It sucked big-time. “We’ll figure something out. You’ll come up for the festival and then, I don’t know. I can come see you and . . .” Visiting was a bandage on a broken situation, and they both knew it.

  She pulled away enough to look up at him, her eyes glassy.

  They didn’t have an agreement for the future, no guarantee of what came next, but they had this. They had each other, right now.

  Dev brushed his lips against hers, kissing her until everything hurt a little bit less. They kissed until his heart stopped hammering with fear, and began pounding for a different reason.

  With a soft sigh, Anna lay back, pulling him with her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, the bottom of her black dress drifting up her thigh.

  The future and the answers may lie out of reach, but she was right there in his arms.

  The two of them, a big blanket, the lake and a clear night sky—this they knew how to deal with.

  He still wanted her, would always want her, no matter how many answers they didn’t have.

  “I wish we could make time stand still.” Her words feathered across his cheek.

  “We can try.” He kissed her again, deeper, running his hand up her thigh, under her dress. He knew one way to stop the clocks from turning, make them both forget about what lay ahead.

  He ventured further, until he brushed his hand over the lace of her panties. Toying with the waistband, he skated his fingers back and forth between the material and her skin. Then he slipped his hand between her legs.

  “Yes.” She arched against him, lifting her hips.

  He kissed his way down her neck and slid her panties off. Even as desperately as they kissed, their touches were slow. Intent.

  She reached for the fly of his pants, working the button and unzipping, and then, the woman who was once too bashful to tell him her fantasy, looked him right in the eyes. “I want you on top of me. I want you on top, and I want you to make love to me. Then, I want it harder, so I can still feel you for days.”

  With fingers threaded through his hair, she pulled him down. They kissed like she was leaving tonight. And he did exactly what she asked for.

  Sweetly and softly at first, he opened her. He made love to her until her heels dug into his lower back, and she moaned, needy. A plea that sounded like his name.

  Then he took her.

  Her hands under his shirt, those red nails biting into his back, he thrust into her. Over and over, the whole world silent except for her tiny gasps of pleasure. And when she tightened around him, her head thrown back and her dark hair an inky fan across the blanket, he came too.

  He came and came, keeping his eyes open, telling himself that only having Anna for the next few days was better than never having her at all.

  Chapter 25

  Coffee in hand, Dev shuffled around his room, trying to wake up and be ready for the day.

  Trying to accept the reality he was losing Anna.

  Last night, they’d made love on a blanket, beneath the stars, and he didn’t do stuff like that. Ever.

  Anna was right; he was a romantic, but onl
y because she’d turned him into one. She made him want things he never wanted, made him do things for no other reason than to see her happy. Next month, Honeywilde would put on the town’s biggest event, because of her.

  And she was leaving.

  She wouldn’t be around for the final stages of planning. Hell, she might not be around for the event itself. Maybe she could make it, probably.

  Dev plunked his coffee cup down on the table with a curse.

  To hell with that.

  He had to do something. No idea what. He’d come up with something though. Losing her was unacceptable.

  By the time he finally made it upstairs, the lobby and great room were alive with guests. He had to make the rounds, put on a smile, and ensure everyone was happy, all while his mind and soul churned for an answer.

  There had to be a solution. A way he could keep Anna without asking her to give up her life.

  Once he’d made his appearance, he headed to Roark’s office. He passed by the new reception area, where Sophie was training their newest employee, and grabbed the pile of junk stuffed in his mail slot.

  Outdoor catalog, several catalogs for business-logoed everything, office supply book—none of which he subscribed to, Cycle World, and two envelopes. The invoice from the tent company and an envelope that made him stop walking. The Windamere tourism office.

  He turned and shoved the rest of the mail back in his slot and tore into the envelope.

  The extra street-closure application went to the city’s transportation department. Tourism really had no need to be mailing him anything at this point. Unless they’d finally mailed him the financials.

  This could hold the answer he’d been looking for. Proof that Crawford’s office had intentionally scuttled the Blueberry Festival to cover Crawford’s ass.

  In his haste, he tore the top of the letter, but read the important paragraphs below.

  Dear Mr. Bradley. “Blah, blah, blah . . .”

  We regret to inform you that the Windamere Department of Transportation declines your application for street closure on June 17th through the 19th, including Main Street and all adjacent streets.

  As always, you may appeal the decline of permit through our website at www—