The Holiday Cottage by the Sea: An utterly gorgeous feel-good romantic comedy

by Holly Martin

  ‘Am I really not going to like this tattoo?’ Tori asked, quietly, not wanting to offend Agatha by not liking her design she had worked hard on.

  ‘It’s just… an acquired taste I think,’ Rosie said, diplomatically.

  Tori remembered what Leo had said about sometimes taking a risk. This wasn’t even a big one, but she had to start somewhere.

  ‘It’s fine, whatever it is, it isn’t the end of the world,’ Tori said, decisively.

  ‘OK then,’ Rosie said.

  A few seconds later she felt the cool dye being applied to her skin at the very top of her spine and Tori cringed, wanting to change her mind. She kept her mouth shut because how bad could it really be?

  * * *

  ‘What do you mean I can’t see it?’ Tori said, trying to crane her neck to see over her shoulder.

  ‘You have to let it dry,’ Agatha said, having just appeared round the curtain with a pink stud in her nose. ‘It’ll be crusty for a few hours and you’re not going to see it at its best.’

  Tori looked at Rosie hopefully, to see if she had a different answer.

  Rosie nodded. ‘Agatha is right. Let it dry, then brush or rub off the crust with a towel, then you can take a shower to wash away any remains. It will be dark orange at first and go dark brown to black over the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours. But yes, it’s best to view it when you’ve rubbed away all the left-over henna.’

  Eva moved round to look at Tori’s tattoo.

  ‘Oh Rosie, this is stunning,’ Eva said, proudly. ‘You’re so talented at stuff like this. It’s so beautiful.’

  ‘Really? It’s beautiful?’ Tori asked.

  ‘Yes,’ Eva said, and Tori sighed with relief. She had been wrong to doubt Agatha. ‘I mean, totally hilarious but beautiful.’

  Tori looked at Eva. ‘What do you mean, hilarious?’

  ‘Well…’ Eva gestured at the tattoo. ‘Not hilarious. Just…’ Clearly having no more words to describe it, she decided to change the subject. ‘What do you think of Agatha’s nose stud?’

  ‘It looks great,’ Tori said, because actually it really suited her.

  She turned her attention back to the matter in hand. The tattoo was beautiful and hilarious, how did that work exactly? She racked her brains for what it could be.

  ‘Can you not just give me a little clue about what the tattoo is?’ Tori asked.

  ‘No,’ Agatha said quickly before Rosie or Eva told her. ‘Don’t spoil the surprise.’

  Tori sighed but really, how bad could it be?

  ‘How much do I owe you?’ Tori asked Rosie.

  Rosie shook her head. ‘Come back and pay me if you’re happy with it and if you’re not then come back and I’ll change it for you.’

  ‘OK, thanks,’ Tori said. She looked at her watch and realised she was supposed to meet Melody and Isla for lunch in a few minutes. ‘Oh, I better go.’

  ‘Thanks for coming with me,’ Agatha said.

  Tori smiled. ‘I won’t say it was my pleasure as I found the whole experience a bit traumatic, especially not knowing what exactly was being inked onto my back. But I’m working on doing things that take me out of my comfort zone, so I suppose this was good for me. I’ll save the thanks for when I’ve actually seen the tattoo.’

  Agatha grinned. ‘You’re going to love it. I think Aidan will like it too.’

  ‘Well sadly he won’t be seeing it. As I’ve already told you, nothing is going to happen between us.’

  ‘You can still show him. You don’t exactly have to whip off your underwear and jump into bed with him to show him, it’s at the top of your back,’ Agatha said.

  Tori rolled her eyes and shook her head with a smile. ‘See you later.’

  She arranged her scarf loosely round her shoulders, so no one would see the tattoo just in case it was something crazy. She might ask Melody and Isla what the tattoo was as soon as she was out of sight of Agatha and her strict rules, though if it was something embarrassing, it might be better if no one saw it. She thanked Rosie and walked out the shop and straight into Melody’s shop, which seemed to dazzle and sparkle from every surface with all the beautiful jewellery pieces that Melody made.

  Isla and Elliot were already there. Elliot was trying on a beautiful diamond and sapphire tiara and giggling about how he was a king, and everyone should curtsey and bow to him.

  Tori immediately went over and swept down into a big bow.

  ‘Your Majesty. How can I be at your service?’

  Elliot burst out laughing.

  She watched him as he tried on several oversized rings and she noticed that one had a price tag of several hundred pounds, Melody didn’t seem to mind at all. Isla was watching him with absolute adoration in her eyes. Elliot was cute, cheeky, adorable and seemed to find amusement in everything. Just like his dad. It was strange to think that if she had taken a risk with Matthew and the relationship had turned into something serious, or even marriage, she would have been Elliot’s step-mum. That prospect hadn’t deterred her when she was having her sort of relationship with Matthew but with hindsight what kind of mum would she have been to this little boy? She doubted she would have done as good a job as Isla was doing.

  ‘It’s Daddy’s birthday tomorrow,’ Elliot said, cheerfully and unexpectedly, giving Tori a kick to the gut at the mention of Matthew. ‘We’re having a party with a big cake and afterwards we are going to go to Daddy’s grave and Isla says I can take him the cake though I can have some of it, but we’d leave Daddy a slice, even if he can’t eat it, he might see it and be happy we left it for him. We’re going to make the cake this afternoon and it will have a picture of the Millennium Falcon on it because Daddy loved Star Wars, and he had a cake with the Millennium Falcon on it last year and he loved it, so I wanted to do it again. Though Isla says that she isn’t good at drawing, so it might not look like the Millennium Falcon, but we can give it a go. Are you going to come to the grave with us?’

  ‘I, er…’ Tori stumbled over an answer because she wasn’t sure. She’d never felt she had ever properly had the chance to say goodbye to Matthew, but she couldn’t really go with Isla and Melody, could she? What if she cried when they were there, they’d want to know why. But maybe she should go. Maybe it would be easier to visit him if she went with friends.

  ‘You’re Daddy’s friend, you should come,’ Elliot said.

  Oh god.

  ‘Yes, Matthew was my friend,’ Tori said, carefully.

  ‘You should come to the party actually,’ Isla said. ‘You guys were close.’

  Tori swallowed. Did Isla know? A party might be easier than going to the grave.

  ‘I’d like that. And you know what, my drawing skills aren’t bad, I could help you with the Millennium Falcon on the cake,’ she said to Elliot. ‘You guys could make the cake and I could do the Millennium Falcon on a cake topper and bring it to the party.’

  ‘Yay!’ Elliot said. ‘Daddy would like that. He liked you a lot. He will love that you are there tomorrow.’

  Oh crap. She was about to get outed by the cute adorable five-year-old and there was nothing she could do about it. She needed to change the subject fast.

  ‘They used to talk on the phone every day,’ Elliot went on. ‘He liked talking to her. He was always smiling after.’

  ‘Oh no honey, I think you might have confused Tori with someone else,’ Melody said as Isla watched Tori carefully.

  ‘No, I’m not confused,’ Elliot said, angrily. ‘He loved her, he told me.’

  Tori had no words, emotion clawed at her throat, her battered heart thundering against her chest. She and Matthew had never said those words to each other. He’d died before she had plucked up the courage to tell him how she felt, pushing him away instead because she was scared of the emotions she’d been feeling. All those months they’d spoken on the phone and she’d been too scared to do anything to change their relationship from the wonderful friendship she had with him into something more. One wonderful weekend was
all they had to show for their relationship, making it look a lot more casual than it was.

  ‘I think you might have misunderstood,’ Melody tried again.

  ‘No, I didn’t,’ Elliot said, clearly getting upset.

  ‘No, he didn’t,’ Tori said, quietly. ‘I don’t know about the love part because we never said that to each other, though I know that I loved Matthew. But Elliot is right about the other part. We talked every day on the phone for about four months before he died.’

  Isla nodded. ‘Elliot said as much this morning when we were talking about you. After what Leo said in the pub the other night, I guessed something went on between the two of you. Though I wasn’t sure to what extent.’

  Melody stared at her. ‘You’ve always been good friends. Was it more than that?’

  Tori nodded, hating that she would have to tell them about that weekend that she and Matthew had both lied to them.

  She swallowed, nervously. She’d never wanted it to come out like this. ‘He was actually the first person I…’ she looked at Elliot, ‘had a sleepover with.’

  Her friends’ eyes widened in shock.

  ‘When we were eighteen. Nothing happened after that for many years, he was away, but a few months before he died there was… another sleepover.’

  Tori looked at Melody, wondering if she would be angry or upset. The very last thing in the world she wanted was to upset Melody. Though it seemed that Melody didn’t know how to react either as she stared at Tori as if she didn’t know her.

  ‘You never told me,’ Melody said, quietly.

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  Tori wanted the chance to explain, to tell her everything, but the words were stuck in her throat.

  Finally, she spoke. ‘Shall we go to lunch and I promise to tell you both everything.’

  Isla nodded and eventually Melody did too.

  ‘I want to hear everything as well,’ Elliot said, not wanting to be left out.

  ‘I promise.’

  12

  As it happened, Marigold, Emily’s daughter and Elliot’s best friend, was ‘working’ behind the counter and as soon as they walked into The Cherry on Top, Elliot wanted to help as well. He was currently standing behind the counter, with an apron on, giggling as they ate a few cookies. Occasionally Emily would get them to take a food order over to the tables, but that was as far as the helping went.

  ‘I can’t believe you never told me,’ Melody said, sadly, after Tori had explained everything about her relationship with Matthew.

  ‘I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you or deceive you. I just wasn’t sure how you would react to it and I didn’t want to upset you. The first time we made love, it was this wonderful little secret that was just mine and Matthew’s. He was going off to America on his gap year so nothing more was going to happen and then later when we started talking on the phone, I didn’t know what it was going to be, only that I really bloody liked him. That weekend he came to see me, I had no idea he had lied to you about going away with work until he told me what he had done. I didn’t want to tell you guys the truth and drop him in it and hurt you both at the same time. It just felt like a harmless little lie. I couldn’t tell you we had slept together then when he was supposed to be in Paris with work. I really am sorry.’

  Melody was quiet, and Tori had no idea what to say to make it better.

  ‘We all have secrets,’ Isla said and then turned to Melody. ‘You’ve not exactly been particularly forthcoming about your feelings for Jamie. And my… friendship with Leo is beyond complicated, I certainly don’t want to talk about that either. Sometimes the “keeping it a secret” part can be one of the best bits and interference from other people, even if it is well-meaning, can taint or ruin it before it’s even started. Tori, I don’t blame you for not telling anyone. I saw or spoke to Matthew quite regularly over the last months of his life and he was so happy. If you had any part to play in that then I think I owe you my thanks more than anything else. It was good to see him smile again.’

  ‘Isla’s right,’ Melody said. ‘I think it’s lovely that your friendship with Matthew turned into something more. You made each other happy and that’s all we ever want from a relationship. But also, I feel unbearably sad for you too. You never got to see the relationship develop into something more, you never told each other how you felt.’

  ‘I feel so guilty that I ended it just before he died. I hurt him, and I never got the chance to fix things, to tell him how I really felt.’

  ‘Matthew adored you, anyone could see that. Growing up, you guys were so close, it’s only natural that closeness would turn to something more,’ Isla said. ‘You felt safe with him and he knew everything about your dad leaving and how much that ruined you. He knew about Luc and how scared you were of getting involved with another relationship; he should have been a bit more patient with you. If you loved him, then I bet he knew that, or at least suspected your feelings, which I imagine led to his frustration when you started to back off. But knowing Matthew, if he loved you like Elliot says he did, then he wouldn’t have given you up without a fight. He spoke to me the night before he died, said he was planning to come up to London to see us the following weekend. My guess is that was something to do with you. I don’t think he died still being angry at you. He loved you, and you don’t just switch that off.’

  ‘I hope you’re right. Maybe it would never have worked out between us if I had taken that step – once we were together our bad habits might have wound each other up. He might have hated my tidiness or how much attention I give my plasticine models and I might not have been able to bear him leaving his shoes lying around. But yes, I will always wonder what could have been. I will always regret what we didn’t do.’

  ‘If that isn’t an advert for seizing the day, I don’t know what is,’ Melody said.

  ‘I know. Leo said as much as well. He said there will never be a safe path. And he is so right. We can eat all the right things, never drink, never take drugs or smoke, never get on a plane just in case it crashes, and we can still die under the wheels of a bus one day or from some horrible disease. We might live our lives avoiding risk, push love away just in case we get hurt, but we’ll still get hurt one way or another. I was afraid of getting hurt, but losing Matthew hurt more than any broken relationship ever could. So maybe it’s time to embrace life a bit more, take a few risks, step out of my comfort zone.’

  ‘That Leo is a wise man,’ Isla said, with a smile.

  Tori nodded. ‘He really is.’

  ‘We’re actually having a memorial celebration tomorrow,’ Melody said. ‘Just us and a few of Matthew’s friends. It was Leo’s idea. Instead of marking the day of Matthew’s death, we decided we would celebrate his birthday instead. You should come.’

  ‘I’d really like that.’

  They fell silent for a while and Tori played with the last few crumbs of her sandwich, then she turned to Isla.

  ‘I want to hear about your complicated relationship with Leo.’

  Melody giggled, and Tori was relieved the tension of the conversation seemed to have lifted.

  Isla sighed, looked over at Elliot to make sure he was occupied and then around the café to check no one was listening. Sensing that this was a big secret, Melody and Tori leaned in close.

  ‘OK, if we’re sharing secrets, I’ll tell you one of mine. Leo proposed to me.’

  ‘What?’ Tori said. That hadn’t been what she was expecting at all.

  ‘What?!’ Melody squealed, almost bouncing in her chair as she clapped her hands with excitement.

  Isla rolled her eyes. ‘I know, it’s ridiculous. I said no, of course.’

  ‘Why?’ Melody asked, her face falling at the happy ending fading away.

  ‘Because he asked me to marry him out of some weird duty to Matthew, because he thinks Elliot needs a dad and because he doesn’t want me to worry about money. He knows things have been… a little difficult financially since Matthew died. Leo didn’t ask me out
of love. He just wants to take care of us.’

  ‘Oh, that’s so sweet,’ Melody said, the possibility of a happy ending reappearing again.

  ‘I know, it is, but I’m not going to marry someone just so I’m financially supported.’

  ‘He actually said those were the reasons he wanted to get married?’ Tori asked. Leo didn’t seem the romantic sort who would get down on one knee and declare his love for Isla, but he must have said something nice, something that showed he had some feelings for her.

  ‘This was several months ago, though he has asked me quite a few times since then. But yes, there was no big fancy proposal, not that I’d need one of those. I’d gone round to pick up Elliot after he’d spent the night at Leo’s. We were having coffee and he said that he’d been thinking that we should get married. I didn’t know what to say at first but eventually I asked why, and he told me that he wants to take care of me and Elliot, that he didn’t want me having to worry about getting a job or money.’

  Tori sighed. The man clearly needed a few lessons in romance. She’d seen the way he looked at Isla, it was obvious there was something there that was much more than friendship and that this flat proposal came from somewhere beyond just wanting to take care of them.

  ‘No man is going to give up their single life and get married to someone they don’t love, just to take care of them. If money was an issue, then why not just give you the money. There’s more to this than what he is offering,’ Tori said.

  ‘I agree,’ Melody said. ‘That gesture is so sweet, it’s obvious he cares about you.’

  ‘I know he cares about me, but I don’t need taking care of. Me and Elliot are fine.’

  ‘But just think of all the incredible sex you’d have,’ Tori teased.

  Isla laughed. ‘I have, believe me, I have thought about that a lot. But if we’re not marrying out of love would we even have that arrangement? Or would we have separate bedrooms and live only as friends? Would he continue to date other people, bring them back to his house? I don’t think I could bear seeing that, my fragile heart couldn’t take it. But then if we did have sex, there would be something quite seedy about me sleeping with him in return for money and a roof over our heads, no matter how amazing the sex was. I want to get married for love and I won’t settle for anything less.’