Shrine

by Herbert, James

  The wood sizzled as gas escaped and small flames began to lick at the underneath. He grunted with satisfaction and turned towards the desk. For some reason his eyes were drawn towards the window and at the long narrow gap between the curtains; he drew them tightly closed as if the night outside were a sinister voyeur. He sat once more and pulled Delgard’s large notebook towards him. He began to read, and he was still cold.

  (Script impossible to read here and no meaning can be guessed at. D.)

  }

  Seventeenth Day of October in the year 1560

  She is dead yet dwells not in the underworld. At night I see her before me, a vile thing from Hell that cannot rest, nor yet let me be, a rotting creature of the grave that once I cherished. But then, her beauty was unspoiled. Now sweet, Damnable, Elnor will not leave, not until she has me with her amongst her corrupted brood. ’Tis true I deserve such fate, for my Sins cry out and are not to be forgiven by Our God in Heaven. Mayhap my madness is an earthly Penance and this makes better choice than the Hell to which she draws me. But she has bid me, and she, my Elnor, will surely take me.

  My hand trembles for she is here! Her corpse’s presence surrounds me and makes foul the air!

  My father, that noble Lord, forbids that I confess to my Bishop, for he sees only madness in my eyes and would mute my madman’s utterings. Thus he keeps me prisoner in this mean Chapel where only the servants and landsmen bear witness to my decline. No longer am I a freeman, for I have fallen in his eyes and no blame to him for that. Yet how long must I hear his Chaucer jibe:

  (Scrawled lines at this point and many deletions. As if writer cannot put his thoughts on paper. D.)

  }

  ‘That if gold rust, what then will iron do?

  For if a Priest be foul in trust

  No wonder that a common man should rust!’

  For all his scorn, still I know he understands not the depths of my Sin. Haste now! Though my brow be fevered and my hand trembles as if with ague, this must be set down that others may read of she whose vengeance is boundless nor leashed by earthly time. Give me strength, Dear Lord, and deny me not the courage to carry out this duty, that others shall know her vileness and be warned. My guilt lies open in these my words. You who read them dismiss them not as a madman’s ravings. But keep close hold of the vision of Our Saviour that is within you, lest your Soul be tainted by this Confession.

  I served long years at the Church of St Joseph’s in Banefeld and there I knew joy. The village was my house, the villagers my trusting children. Disputes I settled and they had Faith in my Word for they believed it the Word of God. The womenfolk unburdened their worries upon my shoulders and I was pleased to give counsel to these simple people, for it gave purpose to my life and Grace to my Soul. The children had some small fear of me for my countenance is not pleasing. Yet fear of God’s Servant on Earth is proper to the young. My Holiness was revered and the True Faith was kept in my Parish throughout all those troubled Heretical times.

  (He refers to the Reformation and the Establishment of the Church of England during the reign of Henry VIII. D.)

  }

  No man betrayed my trust, though Evil entered my Soul and yet holds sway. It was the Prioress who brought Elnor to me, unknowing that she did the Devil’s work. Elnor, this Cursed Nun, was fair and gentle to look upon; a child, an innocent, whose treachery to God and Mankind I did not perceive. Blacker than jet was her Soul, her mind full of guile and her personage well-armed with deceit. Her mistress considered her spirited, but her own cheveril conscience could not perceive Elnor’s subtle wickedness. She was to be of help in the Church, an aid much needed, for my duties were plenty. Then was I stirred by carnal desires, urgings of the flesh that could not be subdued, unholy dreams that betrayed my Chastity. And it was as though straightway she had Knowledge of my hidden Sinfulness, for her eyes saw clearly into my very Soul. Such was her Mystery. Too soon I knew that Elnor was as no other woman and that her Holy Vocation was but the aberration of a perverse mind. Yet it was her mind that first distracted me from my duties. My studies have encompassed astronomy, medicine, physics and even the ancient esoteric craft of alchemy; and of medicine and alchemy her knowledge was by far the greater.

  I was soon to become fascinated by her Knowledge and thus captivated.

  (As the son of a wealthy nobleman, his learning may well have included such diverse subjects. But how could this nun know of such things? D.)

  }

  From the beginning, she was like no other Religious of my acquaintance; in truth, like no other woman. Elnor fulfilled her duties pleasingly well, but always there was the smile that held some veiled secret, the gaze that lingered too long on my own. I was soon Bewitched and was later to deem that term rightly used. In those first days I saw only guileless innocence, not the true self which made fool of me. We prayed together and her adoration inclined most towards the Blessed Mother of Christ, daughter of St Anna. There was at this time a sickness in the village, no plague this, but illness that sent many to their beds. Two children died yet these were frail from birth, so God was praised for His Mercy and for sending so skilled a mortal in the tending of the sick. For her powers of medicine were soon made manifest and even our physician, a pompous though well-meaning fellow, ventured his admiration. Two other young Holy Sisters joined us in our work. Novices these, whose names were Agnes and Rosemund, and they remained at the Church when the sickness was passed. It was said that a Divine Hand guided hers, that by gazing upon a man, be he reeve or hayward, she could tell if he were dry or cold, moist or hot.

  (A person’s body was conceived of being composed of the four elements: Earth, Water, Air and Fire. Earth – cold and dry; Water – cold and moist; Air – hot and moist; Fire – hot and dry. Sickness was an imbalance of these. D.)

  }

  Thus would she administer her restorative simples and cures. She also used images to be worn about the neck when the planets were favourably inclined; energies descended into the image with great benefit to the dependent. I had cause to scold Elnor for such practices, but she would smile and say it was Faith that offered the cure and nothing more. If I found this sacrilegious, I would keep my peace because of the deep interest it aroused in me. Such then was my initial Enchantment with Elnor that I did not consider to consult with the Prioress. It was when a mysterious malady struck down my own body that pending illfortune had its consummation. Elnor was sent by her Prioress to tend me and, in my delirium, I felt her hands upon my body, soothing my pains, bathing away fever’s moisture; and kindling a desire that had been smouldering. Perchance it was her own potions which aroused my passion. Thus ensnared was I, and once so, became her willing captive. My abandonment was complete, my taste for her delights insatiable. I am too shamefaced to relate all that took place in our sinful fornication; suffice to say that our carnal acts plunged into bestiality of such low nature that I fear my Soul is perished, never more to be reborn in God’s light.

  (Effigies. D.)

  }

  (More incoherent writing here, much of it indecipherable. Although stated he will not detail his indecencies with his woman, it appears he has done so to a certain extent. Unclear whether it is guilt that has subconsciously made writing almost illegible, fear, or his own reawakened exci
tement. Much sacrilege and the use of holy objects seems to be involved. Names here and there, but can make no sense of them. D.)

  }

  As Elnor opened her flesh to me, so too did she open her mind. She spoke of things ancient and of matters not yet of this Earth. She spoke of voices that were from the dead, and of forces that rode the air like silent thunderstorms; forces perceived only by the Chosen. She likened these incorporeal powers to great unsighted tidal waves sought entry into the shallow world of men, Furies that if unleashed would destroy and recreate in their own image. I would ask her if it was the Devil’s power she spoke of and she would mock me and tell me there was no greater power than the Will of Man. I cowered at such blasphemy and believed her to be a sorceress; but in the passage of time I learned that she was much more. To her, magic was but a product of the Will, and potions, poisons and transmuters the tools of alchemists and physicians, not of the sorceress. I was irrevocably lost in her; this wretched Nun dominated my existence. My frail body, so exquisitely scourged by her instruments, lived only to gratify itself with her pleasures. As well I sought her Knowledge; yet still am I mystified.

  From whence does your Evil come? I would ask of her. And from where your Goodness? For still she cured the sick. Why do you venerate the Holy Name of the Sacred Virgin, yet blaspheme her presence by fornication before her Image? Why choose the righteous path of handmaiden of Christ when your secret deeds are not to His Way? And why have you made prisoner of this poor Soul? These questions I asked many times, but she answered them not until one year had gone by and, I think, until she was sure that the invisible chains which girdled my Will could not be loosed. She cured the sick that her name should be exalted as was the name of Mary; and she exalted Mary’s name that she, Elnor, be as the Virgin Mother, an intermediary of power, though not yet fully tested. I am a Nun, Elnor told me, because I seek position over others, that I may be revered and obeyed. As Prioress, I shall gain that trust and ’tis you, sweet Thomas, who will help me in this, for has not your noble father great influence with the Church? As I write the Chapel goes colder, swift dissolving breath clouds fading to the page below. The wind shakes windows and doors, and Demons seek me out. Stay away Elnor! This ground is Sacred, its Sanctity inviolate. Still my fingers grow numb with the freeze and become brittle as if fit to snap. O God have Mercy on this miserable creature and allow my Chronicle to be written.

  Methinks I hear a voice that calls my name from without. Would that it were the mewl-ings of some night animal, but I fear ’tis the voice of my dead mistress. The Chapel is dim and the lamp cannot light up the dark places. There is no peace for me here, nor will be until she is laid to rest. But who will do that deed? Not I, that I know.

  (Trisulphide of arsenic and disulphide of arsenic. D.)

  }

  In truth then I knew Elnor, but still could not resist her Will. She laughed at my words and scorned my horror. She spoke of poison for the Prioress: Orpiment or Realgar would be the insiduous assassin.

  The poisoning would be slow that no suspicion would arise. The Prioress would suffer a long and wasting sickness and it would be seen that even the skilled and tender administrations of Sister Elnor would not prevent the aged Nun’s death. O cunning Witch! Yet Witch you are not. No sorceress you, sweet, Damned Elnor; something more, something much more.

  Too late I learned of these ambitions, poor debauched fool that I was. Weak, lecherous disciple of Sin! Help me God before my dying comes.

  Yet so lost to her own lust was Elnor that her downfall was of her own doing. And Blessed be to Jesu for that. My people revered her for they considered her pure of heart and she had cured many an ailment. They brought to her gifts, some mere trinkets and others of value. The latter kind she stored secretly in the Crypt of St Joseph’s lest the Prioress discover them, and those of little value she gave to the Priory. And all thought her most fair and generous.

  The children flocked to Sister Elnor, this vile creature of depravity, adoring her, beseeching her Blessing, for they knew from their elders that here walked a Saint on Earth; and her black heart welcomed them, for they were as lambs to a wolf. What makes a Soul thus? There is no answer in this World, but lies in a place of darkness, where shadowed spirits conspire with devils to destroy Mankind’s peace.

  In Church she prayed long hours, her body prostrate before the altar, that all might witness her devotion. At night, when observers were none, then would she defile that same altar in practices that now cause sickness in my throat, for I was her willing accomplice. Still I know not what led me to this disgrace, what Spirit released this carnal lust in me. I reason that her Will governed mine, her thoughts controlled my own; but in my heart I know the Will had first to come from me. Her temptations were so cursedly sweet, the torture upon my body so cursedly glorious! Her child’s face, her white flesh, that Devil’s gateway between her thighs from which she bade me drink, these were too wondrous to forswear.

  Yet I wander, my thoughts no longer gathered. My father, that steadfast patron of the Church, thinks me mad; and perhaps ’tis so. Still I have not the madman’s escape into delirium and there is no comfort in my dreams.

  (Set down? D.)

  }

  But in the second year of my Knowledge of Elnor, suspicions were whispered abroad. My demeanour had changed. I had never been a robust man, but there was a weakness upon me, a stoop to my stature that was plain to see. My obsession with the young Nun would no longer be disguised. Worse yet was the disappearance of the children, lost over several months in the nearby forests, never to be seen again. Three children in all, whose names I have already set down.

  How these simple peasant children had believed in sweet Sister Elnor, and how I had to stifle their screams when her punishment was visited upon their small bodies. Dear God, there can be no forgiveness for my part in these foul deeds. I could not even pray over their hidden graves.

  The Prioress had become weakened, her life’s spirit ebbing more each day. Stealthy was her demise, for Elnor would not allow that any should say the hand of another played part in the old nun’s death. Bolder became this Devil’s Daughter and more demanding in her excesses. My endeavours were no longer sufficient for her lusts and less often could my tortures satiate her appetite. As well, it had become dangerous to take more children from the district. Her appetites were turned upon the two young novices who came daily to St Joseph’s. One accepted her debasement willingly, for her heart was already lost to Elnor; the other submitted but fled shamefaced afterwards. This novice took her own life in remorse, but first Confessed her Mortal Sin to the ailing Prioress.

  (The names must be those mentioned in the earlier unclear passage. The priest and the nun killed the children! D.)

  }

  Outrage gave the Mother Superior a newfound strength. But so too was she cunning, for my father’s coffers were ever open to the Church. His loyalty to our Holy Roman Pope had not wavered during the Heretical time of Henry’s Lutherism, nor during the confused reign of the young Edward. Now my father was favoured by good Queen Mary and justly rewarded for his fortitude and loyalty. To have him as enemy would not have been wise for the Prioress, who had oft times benefited from his generosity.

  This wise woman sent for me and, knowing all was lost, I threw myself on her mercy. The blame lay all with the vile temptress, Sister Elnor, whose magic p
otions had robbed me of my reason. I wept and scourged myself before the Prioress; I confessed my most grave and sinful fornication with Elnor and begged forgiveness. But I did not tell all, for I was afraid for my life.

  Though she looked upon me with loathing in her eyes, the Prioress gave me her forgiveness. Elnor’s Spirit was darkened by spectres who rejected the Christian Path. She was a child of Satan whose sorcery had overcome my Will. A mere mortal, I could offer scant resistance to the leeching of my strength and the magic potions she fed my body. I eagerly accepted these Judgements, well knowing they were my Salvation, willing to believe I was but helpless victim to Entrancement. That day we discussed the punishment of Sister Elnor.