The Sex Surrogate

by Gadziala, Jessica

  His tongue slipped between my lips to toy with mine, soft, a light caress that had me sighing against his mouth. Then it withdrew and his lips took my lower lip and sucked hard. And the jolt of desire had my whole body jerking. “Touch yourself, baby. Think of me doing it.”

  Then my hand was moving against my clit, slow light caresses like I thought he would tease me with. His big, skilled hands knowing exactly how to build anticipation. To turn desire into a delicious slow burn.

  His hand moved to his cock again, stroking almost absentmindedly as he watched me. My face, my hand between my legs. Pausing in between the two to take in the view of my naked abdomen and chest.

  I felt myself driving upward, my back arching slightly off the bed.

  Unbidden, wholly unwanted, an image flew through the front of my thoughts. And suddenly I was seventeen again, laying on my boyfriend's futon, his hand pressing hard, painfully hard against my clit. The sensation doing absolutely nothing for me. Then he was getting up, stroking his cock a few times, then getting between my legs and shoving hard. The pain was instantaneous and searing.

  I felt the bile rise up in my throat at the memory. Much like it had at the time. Wrenching away from him and getting sick all over the floor.

  My hand stopped moving, my thoughts flew around from one bad sexual encounter to another, making my anxiety bubble up toward the surface, pushing away the want and need Chase had instilled in me.

  But then I felt Chase's hand come down on mine. I hadn't even realized he pulled it from around my shoulders, but there it was on top of my hand, pressing. My eyes flew open.

  “Be here. With me,” he said, his fingers crooking into mine, pushing against my clit, making me gasp. “Yeah, like that. Keep your eyes on me.”

  So I did.

  And his hand stayed on top of mine, not helping, just reassuring, just connecting himself to the motion. Which was exactly what I needed. I needed that grounding. I needed him to keep me from thinking of the others before him.

  He just knew that.

  I was groaning quietly, arching off the mattress, my legs moving up and down, my hips rising to meet my hand at each pass.

  “So sexy,” he growled, tense beside me and I knew he was as close as I was.

  I tilted my face up toward his and his lips came down on mine. Harder. Hungry. Desperate. And my body went up up up. My breath caught, pulling away from his face, feeling suspended in a strange nothingness for a second.

  “That's it. Come for me, baby.”

  Then I did.

  Crashing into it.

  Hard.

  My body pulsating, tightening, every nerve ending attuned to the sensation as it rolled through me in seemingly endless waves, crying out, my other hand slamming down on top of Chase's arm.

  Spent, I shifted slightly onto my side toward him. His hand slid off of mine, resting intimately between my thighs, not touching my sex, but close. Close enough that he must have felt the heat and wetness there.

  I looked up to find his eyes heavy, his breathing ragged. Then I glanced down to see his hand stroking his cock hard and fast and I suddenly couldn't decide what I wanted to watch more: his face when he came, or his cock.

  But the decision was taken out of my hands as his hand stroked upward once more and he came hard. His hand dug into my inner thigh. “Fuck... Ava...” he growled out, his strokes slowing, his body slackening.

  I snuggled my head underneath his chin, placing a kiss right below his throat. The silence set in then, Chase catching his breath, me too wrapped up in the afterglow of an orgasm to even consider worrying about anything.

  His head tilted, kissing my forehead gently. “Let me up, babe,” he said. I made a grumbling noise, rolling off of him, and he chuckled, swinging his legs off the bed and standing. He walked toward the door at the end of the sidebar and went inside. I heard water running and figured it must be a bathroom. Which was good to know. I reached down and grabbed the blankets, bringing them up and around me, suddenly so bone deep tired that my eyes refused to stay completely open.

  Chase came back a moment later, smiling sweetly down at me and coming in beside me. His arm grabbed me, pulling me to his chest. “It's okay,” he said, his other arm going around me, “get some sleep. I'm right here.”

  I'm right here.

  That was exactly where I wanted him.

  And I liked that a lot more than I should.

  I slowly drifted off to sleep with one of Chase's hands stroking through my hair and the other rubbing across my hips, his heartbeat slow and strong beneath my ear. It was the most relaxed, most comfortable I could ever recall feeling in my entire life.

  And I also liked that a lot more than I should.

  But soon, sleep claimed my overtired brain and body.

  For the first time in a long time, I dreamed of nothing.

  After the Session

  I woke up as slowly as I had drifted off. I squinted against the dimness, swearing that it had been brighter when I went to sleep. Beneath me, Chase was dead asleep. His breathing was slow, his face so much less intense in sleep.

  I watched him for an uncomfortably long time before I inched off of him, careful not to wake him, and making my way to my clothes. I slipped into them quickly, moving to the sidebar and checking my phone. My heart flew into my chest when I realized it was almost two in the morning.

  Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

  Jake was going to be all over me about it. Great. That was just lovely. I grabbed my wallet and keys, carefully letting myself out of the room and his office. I walked out front, shivering in the cold, looking at the door guiltily. I couldn't just... leave it open. There were patient files everywhere. Hell, my file was in there somewhere. I'd have a heart attack if someone got a hold of that information.

  I pulled out my keys, finding the one most similar and fiddling with the lock for a long time before I finally heard it click, then turned and hauled ass to my car, Chase's warning about being alone at night replaying over and over in my head.

  “Well well well, the hussy returns,” Jake greeted me, still completely awake, on the couch.

  “I fell asleep.”

  “That lie doesn't even work when you're a teenager. Try a new one.”

  “No, seriously,” I said, dropping my phone and keys on the table.

  He eyed me for a long minute. “Yeah, alright. There's no way you got laid.”

  “Hey,” I objected, not entirely sure why the hell I would be offended by that.

  “Speaking of laid,” I said, looking around curiously.

  “She's taking a nap,” he shrugged.

  “Then on to round two?”

  “Two?” he asked, scrunching up his face. “What is this? Amateur hour? Try round four.”

  “Impressive,” I said, making my way to my room, intent on finding sleep before all the noise started up again.

  “You alright?”

  “You know,” I said, turning around in my doorway to face him, “this new and improved 'maybe I give a shit about other people' Jake is really growing on me.”

  I closed the door on his laugh, turning into my closet and picking out a pair of pink and black pajama pants and a tight pink t-shirt to go with it. I crawled into bed, turning on my side, cuddling into my pillow like a lover. And I thought of him.

  There was really no way I wasn't going to.

  But it wasn't just his body. His magnificent, perfect freaking body. It wasn't just the way my name rushed out of his mouth when he came. It wasn't just the way he affected me. It was him. As a whole. As a person. The little bits and pieces I had gotten to get to know.

  The dirty, hungry little boy watching his mother suffer and self medicate which, eventually, led him into psychology. To understand her. To understand the life he had needed to live through because of her mental illness. The boy who clung to other kids who were damaged and forged bonds that lasted until the present.

  Then ther
e was Chase. As a man. Strong, capable, eloquent, sexy as fuck, and so incredibly sweet I was shocked I hadn't blubbered all over him at some point. Chase with his solid job. His appreciation for good food and better wine. Chase with his amazing suits. His occasional, and lovely spark of humor. His gentleness. His intuition.

  What did he do in his free time? Restaurants, obviously. But other than that. Did he read? Listen to music? Go to concerts or museums? What were his interests and his passions?

  For all I did know, there was so much I didn't. So much I found myself wanting to know.

  How long had it even been since I allowed myself to even want to get to know a man? Months? A year? Longer? It always seemed pointless to even let myself get to that point seeing as I always knew it was doomed to fail.

  Which was why my interest in Chase made no sense. Because what we had going on was temporary. It would be over as quickly as it started. He would become the man who changed my life. And I would be just another client in his records.

  I fell asleep feeling such a strange, deep sadness that I felt tears of unknown origins slipping down my cheeks.

  The slamming woke me up. Which was nothing new. I woke up to slamming at least four times a week. And that was on a slow week for Jake. I pulled my pillow over my head, letting out a groan. I was finally able to catch up on sleep and the fucker was messing with it.

  Then I sat up, staring at our shared wall. And, yes, there was slamming coming from there. But that wasn't the only slamming. There was another sound, coming from the other end of the apartment. I got groggily out of bed, my heart beating a little too hard as I opened my bedroom door. And, sure enough, it was the front door. Someone was knocking. No, someone was pounding on the front door.

  I looked at Jake's door, considering going to get him, but that would only lead to a pissed off confrontation, blaming me for cock blocking him. Or, worse yet, if it was yet another of his pissed off one-night stands coming by to scream at him, he would scream at me for not dealing with it myself. It was a lose-lose.

  I inched my way to the door, going up on my tiptoes to look out the peephole.

  What the actual hell?

  I landed hard on my feet, going for the locks with suddenly clumsy fingers, then pulled the door quickly open. “Chase?”

  “Jesus Christ, woman,” he growled, running a hand through his hair.

  “Chase, what are you doing here?”

  “You scared the fuck out of me.”

  Wait... what?

  “What?”

  “I woke up alone,” he said, looking at me like I had gone dumb. “I woke up alone and there was no note or anything. And my front door was somehow locked.”

  “I fiddled with it with one of my keys until it finally clicked,” I supplied, unsure why he was so worked up. I mean... we weren't dating. I didn't see why I would need to leave a note.

  “I called your phone... I don't know... twenty-five times.”

  “Oh,” I said, glancing where I had left it beside the door, the indicator light flashing bright blue into the dim apartment. “I didn't have it with me,” I said, shrugging. “Chase, why are you here?”

  “I got up. You were gone. No note. You didn't answer your cell...”

  “You were... worried about me?”

  “Hell fucking yeah I was worried about you,” he said, shaking his head. “What did I say about walking around at night? Not just at night. It must have been like... two in the morning. That was taking an unnecessary risk. You should have woken me up so I could walk you.”

  “Chase, I've been walking myself around this city alone, even at night, for years.”

  “Taking stupid chances,” he said. “Looking like you do, you should have someone on you all the time.”

  “It's... sweet of you to worry about me and I'm sorry I didn't leave a note or answer my phone. I just didn't want to wake you.”

  “I can always get more sleep. I can't get another you.”

  “What?” I asked, my heart starting to pound in my ears.

  “Nothing,” he said, shaking his head and looking away, making me think I must have misheard him.

  “What the hell is going on?” Jake's voice called, coming out of his room. “Ava who is at the door at this... oh,” he said, stopping short. “Dr. Hudson,” he said, inclining his head at Chase. Apparently, Jake was still feeling very much like a chastened boy around him.

  “Get back in here and finish fucking m...” a pretty black-haired girl with a diamond pendant necklace, and nothing else on, said as she came out of Jake's room.

  I felt my eyes go wide, my face snapping toward Chase who took in the random naked girl (who was completely unashamed of her nudity as she just kept standing there) with a vague sort of disinterest.

  “Oh, well... hello,” the girl practically purred at Chase.

  “Hi,” he barked, looking back at me with a furrowed brow. Silently screaming at me. Do something.

  “Um, Jake,” I said, shaking my head and looking over at him.

  “Yeah?” he asked, looking completely comfortable with the whole situation.

  “I'm pretty sure we agreed to a no naked in the main area of the house rule,” I said, nodding my head toward his bed buddy.

  “Yeah, sure,” he said, looking between me and Chase. “Get back in that room and get yourself started,” he instructed her and I felt a blush creep up on my face, ducking my head to look down at my feet. “You sure you guys are alright out here?” Jake asked.

  “Yeah, Jake, fine,” I mumbled, head still bowed.

  “Alright,” he said, moving next to me and whispering in my ear, “Damn girrrl.”

  The silence hung until Jake's door slammed and we could hear moaning and slamming again. “This is an interesting place you live in,” Chase said, sounding amused. “Ava,” he said when I didn't look up. Then his hand went under my chin, pulling up until I looked at him. “What's going on in that little head of yours?” he wondered aloud. “You're blushing.”

  “I think it's polite to not say that to someone who is, in fact, blushing.”

  “Are you blushing because of that comment your roommate made?”

  “What comment?” I asked.

  “The one where he told her to get started without him, ah,” he said, smiling a little as my face got hotter, “I thought so.” His finger stroked over the apples of my cheeks, rubbing at the redness. “Are you embarrassed that I saw you touch yourself tonight?”

  “Shh,” I said, wide-eyed, jerking my head away to check and make sure Jake's door was still closed.

  Chase chuckled. “They sound like they're going to break through the wall, they can't hear us.”

  I turned back to Chase, his eyes looked smaller, his brows lowered, like he was considering something. Feeling uncomfortable, I cleared my throat. “But, yeah, sorry again for making you worry...”

  “It's alright,” he said, shaking his head slightly. “I'm gonna go,” he said, looking antsy. “Keep your phone by you. It's a safety thing. And lock your door.” He paused, “What?” he asked, watching my smile.

  “You're bossy.”

  He half-laughed, half-snorted. “Phone and lock, okay?”

  “Okay.” I agreed.

  “Tomorrow night,” he said, moving away from the door. “Seven.”

  Then he was gone.

  I watched his retreating form until it disappeared, shaking my head and closing the door. I slid all the locks into place, grabbed my phone, and went back to bed.

  Well, that was weird.

  Like... really weird.

  I got it that he worried. It was a little careless of me to not leave a note. But still. I mean.. I was just a client. He'd actually freaked out enough to go through my record, get my address, and come over because I didn't answer my phone in the middle of the night?

  Then there was how... odd he was acting at my door.

  The man was an enigma.

  I had jus
t started to doze off when my phone started screeching, loud and insistent, from my nightstand. I picked it up, flipping it over, and seeing Chase's name pop up on my screen. I hit the green button and brought it up to my ear.

  “Hello?”

  “Take your clothes off.”

  I shot up in bed, wide eyed, fully awake. “What?”

  “Take your clothes off, baby.”

  “Why?”

  A low, chuckling sound. “How about you don't fight me on everything?”

  “Why could you possibly want me to...”

  “We are going to masturbate together again.”

  “Oh,” the air rushed out of me. Over the phone? Why over the phone? That was, in a way, so much worse than with him next to me. At least near him, I felt the comfort that always overtook me around him. There would be none of that. And, oh god, what if Jake and his guest heard me? That would be humiliating.

  “I can hear those gears turning. Just take off your clothes and lay back down, okay?”

  “Is this part of the... program?” I found myself asking.

  There was a short pause. “Yeah, baby.”

  But I didn't quite believe him.

  Still, I was slipping out of my clothes, flashing the light of my phone toward the door to make sure I had locked it, then laying back against my pillows.

  “Are you naked?”

  “Yes.”

  “So am I,” he said, his voice deep and low.

  So, yeah. We were really going to do it.

  “Chase...”

  “Run your hand down your body,” he instructed and I found myself immediately following instructions.

  “Okay.”

  “Are you wet baby?”

  “Yes.”

  “Mmm,” he murmured. “Touch yourself. And I am going to touch myself. Just relax, let me hear you.”

  Oh, lordy.

  Let him hear me.

  I closed my eyes, straining to hear anything from his side of the phone. His breathing, anything. But soon, my body came alive under my hand even without anything to listen to. Because all I needed was to know he was there, and I was beside myself with need.