Love Disregarded

by Rachel Blaufeld

  “Rosalie,” Aston said, “can I give you my number? In case you need us.”

  “She has mine—”

  “Well, I’d feel better if she had both,” Aston said, interrupting me.

  “Sure.” Rosalie gave in, which wasn’t a shocker. She whipped out her phone and was ready to input the number before I could protest again.

  “’Bye,” she said a few seconds later, running up to the house with new digits in her phone and a big smile plastered on her face.

  “Shall we?” Aston’s hand was on my lower back as he led the way to his car.

  “We can just do something casual,” I said. “You don’t need to impress me.”

  “No and yes,” he said while opening the car door.

  “Aston . . .” I paused as I slipped into the car, not knowing what to say to that.

  He shut the passenger door and made his way around the front of the car. As he settled in the driver’s seat, he said, “Bexley, let’s have a good night. My life is a mess, and right now, reuniting with you and meeting my daughter are all that I have.”

  “Don’t say that,” I said as he started the engine and shifted into gear.

  “Why?”

  “What about your kids? Please don’t say what you just said, because your kids matter.” When he side-eyed me, I explained. “Your other kids. The ones you’ve raised so far. You know what I mean.”

  “Mara and Little A are always a bright spot for me. Except for having to share them with Cass.”

  “I don’t want them to hear you say that we’re making you happy. They should hear that they’re making you happy. They’ll resent Piper, and I don’t need her to have that. She’s dealing with enough.”

  “Stop it, Bex. Seriously. No one is going to resent anyone. I love my other kids and they love me. They will love Piper and Tyler . . . and you. And they’ll still see their mom because they need to do that too.”

  “And Tyler and Piper will see Seth. That is, if this all works, and we somehow figure it all out,” I whispered as we sped down the road.

  “You know that’s not an option, this not working out. You know me.”

  “I used to,” I said, staring out the windshield.

  “Come on, don’t do that.” He didn’t look at me, though. Flicking on his blinker, he exited the freeway and made a left at the intersection.

  “It’s the truth. We knew each other once, and then you abandoned me.”

  A moment later, Aston pulled into the parking lot for an exclusive steak place. I’d never been there, but I knew better than to argue in this moment.

  We stopped when a valet attendant gestured us to, and Aston was out of the car in an instant, not allowing the stranger to open the door for me.

  “I didn’t abandon you.” Aston had his hand on my lower back as he spoke into my ear, leading me into the restaurant. “Yeah, I made the wrong choice, but I thought I had time on my side. I’m here now. It’s a little too late, but I have to live with that.”

  There was no time for me to reply because we were being ushered to a corner booth, the hostess all smiles for Aston and sneering for me.

  “Janie will be right over to take your drink order, Mr. Prescott.”

  We were left alone to slide into the booth next to each other, thigh to thigh, heat radiating between us and menus spread in front of us. But it was impossible for me not to stare around and take this place in.

  “Come here a lot?” I asked, not turning to face Aston.

  “I do. Usually for work. Here or the club. My dad still lives over there, on the golf course.”

  “Oh. Good for him,” I said, unable to hide my sarcasm.

  “He’s not going to bother you. I made sure of it. I swear, Bex.”

  “Whatever. I got over him a long time ago. Right about the time he judged me, thought of me as being a lesser person, all because I didn’t have seven figures in the bank. Long before he tried to buy my silence over Piper. I didn’t need his money to raise her.”

  “No, you didn’t, and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way. You did what any decent, good mother would do to protect her daughter. Her child. Look,” he said, taking my hand in his palm, his smooth, well-manicured hand enveloping mine. “I was an ass. I can’t deny that. But I’ve lived for years being miserable. Other than the kids being born, my smiles were all fake. I’m here to make this right. For you. For Piper.”

  “And Tyler.”

  “Absolutely, he’s part of all this. And my dad doesn’t get to be a part of any of it.”

  “Does he even want to meet Piper?” I swallowed the lump in my throat. Why did I ask that?

  “It’s off the table, even if he wanted to. I wouldn’t permit it, Bexley, you have to know that. The company is mine in a few short months. And no, don’t bring up this bullshit charge against me. I’m about to get out from under it. My dad is done, retiring soon. I fulfilled my duty, and now Federal is mine to do with what I want. And what I want is for him to be out of there and out of my life. C’est la vie, finito . . .”

  Aston flicked his wrist in the air, signaling the end of this conversation. “Now, we’re here to have a good time. What do you want to drink?”

  “Wine? White, please.” My head hurt from trying to keep up with all the nuances and major changes that had come into my life in the last few weeks. I needed wine more than ever.

  “Good. Let’s get a bottle.”

  “You’re going to drink white wine?”

  “No, you’ll drink what you want, and then we can leave the remainder for our server. The bottles are better selections.”

  “That’s a little crazy. I’m fine with a glass.” I eyed Aston, and he dismissed my judgy perusal by burying his face in the wine list.

  Our silence was interrupted by a young brunette, all cheery and bubbly. “Hi, I’m Janie. Welcome to Saddlebrook’s. Have you been here before?”

  Aston said, “Yes, you know I have, Janie.”

  Feeling out of place, I simply shook my head.

  “How about this bottle of chardonnay? Bin number forty-three,” he said, glancing at her as he pointed to a line on the wine menu. “And a Lagavulin, straight up, for me.” Turning toward me, he asked, “Are you good with the chef selecting our dinner and sending it out in courses, so we don’t have to be interrupted anymore?”

  In absolute disbelief that this was my current life, I nodded.

  “Great. Now we can get on with our evening.” His full attention and blue eyes on me, Aston took my hand and kissed it. “Aston Prescott.”

  “That doesn’t work on me anymore.”

  He leaned close, his thigh singeing mine, his lips tickling my ear. “If I stuck my hand inside your panties, would you be ready for me? My guess is you’re dripping for me.”

  As I squeezed my legs together, I shook my head, smirking.

  “Yeah, you would.”

  “Aston,” I whispered. “We’re two grownups now, with four kids and two marriages between us. We have to act like it.”

  Tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear, he said, “We can have some fun, Bex. An evening out. You look so beautiful, even more so than when we first met.”

  “Older, maybe a little wiser?” I said, but considering where I was sitting and the fact I’d already slept with Aston, probably not so much.

  Janie appeared with the bottle of wine and poured it quietly, then served Aston his Scotch. She’d obviously received the do not disturb message.

  “Tell me what I’ve missed when it comes to you, Piper, and Tyler.” Aston held his glass in the air and waited for me to clink glasses with him.

  “From what I gather, not much, with your guy following me around.”

  “Ha. I’m sure there’s been plenty. For the record, when Piper had her appendix removed, I almost stormed the hospital.”

  After taking a gulp of my wine, I answered honestly. “That was a brutal time. Seth confirmed that she wasn’t his, something he long believed to be the truth. He knew it somew
here deep down, but she’s easy to fall in love with. Believe me, Seth isn’t an easy man. He comes across that way, but he isn’t. Piper softened him.”

  “She looks exactly like me, Bex. Pretty hard not to know she’s not his,” Aston said with a wink, dismissing any discussion of Seth’s character.

  “Yep, she was a daily reminder of you. Every time I looked at my daughter, I was reminded about your being gone. In reality, this was hardest on me, like I couldn’t move on. Seth knew it. I know you’d prefer not to talk about him, but Piper not being his was a bitter pill for him to swallow.”

  Aston nodded, holding back his snark this time.

  “She got the best of us, Aston. She really did,” I said, feeling my eyes get misty.

  “She’s spectacular, from what I can tell.”

  “She really is.”

  Aston turned my face toward his with the tip of his finger. “Go on. Tell me more.”

  “She’s so marvelous. Pragmatic, deep thinking, caring like you . . . when you’re not being forced to choose between your lifelong goals and someone you fell in love with. Someone you shouldn’t be with,” I said, feeling compelled to throw the last part in. It had burned in my chest for so long.

  “She’s a better person, I’m sure. If I teach her one thing, it will be not to sacrifice her own happiness for some stupid family business. She can build her own empire.”

  “You could have too. Built your own,” I said, swallowing close to fifteen years of resentment. “Plus, Piper’s wise beyond her years. I’m sure most parents say that, but I mean it. She’s pretty inside and out. The way she cares for Tyler. All of her. She’s the best. She’ll find her own way,” I quickly added, not giving Aston a chance to argue.

  “Which is why I don’t want my father anywhere near her. Don’t ignore what I said, Bex. I will tell her to find her own happiness.”

  I nodded more for appearance’s sake and took another sip of wine.

  Our first course arrived, a cold soup. Vichyssoise. I knew what it was from my time working at the club.

  For Aston, it was another dinner out, but for me, it was a special night. Here we were, sipping soup in silence, his warm palm on my thigh. I tried to reconcile it all.

  A Caesar salad was made tableside a few minutes later.

  “This is better than the soup,” I said. “I love Caesar.”

  “Good, I want you to enjoy yourself. You deserve it and more, Bex, and I’m going to use all I’ve got to make sure that every day is magnificent for you, going forward.”

  There was no rebuttal to that, so I ate my salad.

  “By the way, is that job of yours safe?” he asked. “Do you worry about it? Did Seth?”

  And here we go with Aston taking over. I knew it would only be a matter of time.

  I did my best to skirt around the issue and move the conversation to lighter, easier topics. As the courses arrived, wine flowed, and we laughed more.

  “Milly’s kids are wild,” I said, grinning. “She got her payback, definitely.”

  “Yeah, Mike’s mentioned they’re a handful for her. He does pretty well with them, and he was no angel either.”

  “Like you were.”

  “Hey, my kids are pretty dang good.”

  Noticing a sadness creeping into his tone, I asked, “What’s wrong?”

  “They’re good because of Cass. And despite her. She’s a mess because we’re always fighting. I’ve done my fair share of shit. They think they need to behave so we love them, or some bullshit like that. It’s what the therapist says.”

  I took his hand and rubbed my thumb over his. Sparks always flew between us, but this was more. A river of feelings flooded the space between us. We’d cared about each other for way too long. It wasn’t in my DNA to allow him to be sad.

  “I think being with you now will be good for them,” I said, not knowing what the hell I was saying. After all, Aston could be taken away from them at any moment.

  “I have my limitations, I know. I spend too much money, spoil them, and depend on Denise and other sitters she knows, but I’m stable when it comes to them. Someone is always there for them. Food is ready and available. I don’t embarrass them in public. Shit, other than the accusations. But you know what? I love them.”

  “Sometimes that’s the best thing you can give. Love. Unconditional love.”

  Our fingers entwined, he squeezed my hand, then reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. His lips ghosted my cheek, my ear, and back to my cheek.

  “I like this. Talking with you. Hashing things out. I probably shouldn’t say this, but Cass and I never did this. Never saw anything the same or even listened to each other. I threw money at every problem, just like my dad always does.”

  “We always listened to each other,” I said, wishing his lips were back on me. Instead, I drank some more wine, took a bite of filet, and continued to listen.

  “We did. And I don’t want you to think that I’m doing the same with my kids. Throwing money at them, like my dad. I just want them to have fun, be kids, not worry. I try to give them attention and affection too. I’m learning.”

  “You’re doing just fine. And like you said, you’re going to beat all these allegations. They will be fine too.” As I said it, though, I knew I was saying it more for myself than for him.

  His lips found my cheek again. “Thank you.”

  And then we went back to laughing until dessert.

  “Milly’s up to no good,” he said over coffee.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You don’t know?” He raised an eyebrow.

  “No, I don’t. How would you know? Through Mike?”

  I truly had no idea what Aston was getting at, but he’d never liked Milly much.

  “Eh, forget it. It’s probably just club gossip.”

  “Now, I remember your PI saying something . . .”

  “It was nothing.”

  I was liking my chocolate cake too much to think about it anymore. After all, club gossip was only true about ten percent of the time.

  Later, we pulled up in front of my house. Instead of getting out right away, we sat in the car, the engine idling and our minds racing.

  “I want to come in,” Aston said, speaking the words of a teenager with the determination of a grown man.

  Shaking my head, I said, “We can’t.”

  “Denise will stay with the kids. They’re fine for one night.”

  Turning to face him, I was brutally honest. “This has nothing to do with your kids, Aston. How dare you?”

  “Piper and Tyler will adjust. We have to move forward.”

  Throwing my door open, I wanted to get the hell out of the car and forget this night ever happened.

  “Wait,” Aston said, taking my arm and holding me in place. “Tell me what I said wrong.”

  “You’re so goddamn presumptuous. Always have been. Yeah, I fell into bed with you at the engagement party, and look what that got me.”

  “What? A beautiful daughter? Now I’m here, wanting to be a permanent part of your life. Can’t see how that’s a bad thing, Bex.”

  Moonlight shone softly into the car, lighting his perfectly blue-blue eyes, his white shirt as bright as the moon itself.

  “Forgive me for questioning this all,” I said sharply, “and not being a sure thing after an expensive dinner.”

  “Don’t do that. You always go to money.”

  “Well, your dad ripped us apart once. And now you might go to prison.”

  “I told you I’ve got that covered.”

  “And there’s this little thing . . . Piper’s a young woman,” I shrieked, and then lowered my voice as I shut the car door to give us more privacy. For all I knew, she could be watching from the same window I’d waited in not too long ago. “She can’t see me hooking up with men. I don’t bring men back to my bed when the kids are home. Scratch that—I don’t bring men home to my bed, period.”

  “I’m her father, for fuck’s sake.
” Aston pinned his gaze on me. His stare was hard, the complete opposite of his gentle palm caressing my thigh.

  “No, just no. Aston, accept it. Kiss me good night and let me go inside.”

  If I were being truthful with myself, what had me going was how much I wanted him to come in. To take charge of my body, in my bed, both of us sweaty and sated, falling asleep in each other’s arms.

  “That’s what I want,” he said. “More than anything.”

  “What?” My eyes flew open wide. “Did I just say that out loud?”

  He nodded. “Look, I hear what you’re saying. I didn’t get it . . . I’ve only been a parent to a teenage girl for a few days. I don’t know all that involves. Right now, I’m going to kiss you, go home and smoke a cigar, and go to sleep. Probably after handling my own business, which I’m too old for. But know this, Bexley. It’s not going to be long before I’m in your bed every night.”

  I tried to formulate a response, but Aston didn’t give me time. He leaned over the console and placed his lips on mine. His kiss scorched my mouth and my body, sending past memories colliding with more recent ones. With his tongue teasing mine, he gathered me closer, making me believe in a future together.

  “I’ve loved you all my life,” he murmured. “If it takes me forever, I’m going to earn your forgiveness.” He pressed his lips more firmly to mine, and I reconsidered not allowing him to come in.

  “We have to stop, or we won’t,” I finally said.

  “That would make for an interesting sight.”

  “Uh, yeah. I don’t think so. Thank you. Don’t worry about walking me up. Let’s leave this casual with the kids and all that,” I told him as I got out of the car.

  “Bexley,” he called to me, and I turned around on the sidewalk. “You don’t have to say it back. I know you still love me.”

  I simply turned back around and walked to the door. There wasn’t any response I could say to save face. He was right.

  Bexley

  I’d stopped at the store on the way to school pickup from work, filling my trunk with frozen waffle fries and hamburger patties, yet I still felt the need to ask the kids for permission.