One Menu at a Time

by Carolyn Hughey

  “Where’s Bailey?” Chase asked when I arrived.

  “She’s spending the weekend with my sister.”

  “I guess that means you’ll be going out to kick up your heels this weekend.”

  “In a manner of speaking.”

  “Hey, if the doctor takes this cast off, want to have dinner with me at a fine-dining restaurant?”

  My heart raced just thinking about spending time with him outside of this apartment. But after my split-second daydream, I quickly jerked my mind back to the real world, chastising myself for allowing my emotions to cloud my thinking.

  “That’s very nice of you, but I haven’t seen my friend in a really long time. Thank you, but I’m going to pass.”

  “Oh,” he said with disappointment. “Silly me for thinking that after yesterday’s mishap we were on the same page.”

  I knew exactly what page he was on—the page I planned to tear out of the book. “Are you kidding me? After seeing that mug of yours five days a week, why would I want to spend my free time with you?”

  The color drained from his face from my abrupt comment. I knew being harsh was the only way I could nip his sudden interest in the bud, or any feelings that I was inadvertently dreaming about. I called it my self-preservation act. Regardless of the persona I wanted him to see, I couldn’t stop the growing connection between us. His chin lowered and advanced into full sulk mode—I changed the subject.

  “We’d better get hustling if we’re going to get to the doctor’s on time,” I warned.

  “I’m ready. Can you just help me stand up?”

  “Of course.” I guided his legs over the side and reached for the crutches while he held onto the overhead bar and snaked his way to the edge of the bed. As I tried to slip his arm into the sleeve of his heavy jacket, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close—his lips caressing mine again.

  “Chase, darn you,” I said pushing myself back.

  “Tell me you didn’t enjoy that kiss?”

  “I didn’t enjoy the kiss. Look, you’re just lonely—I get that, but as nice as you are, I’m just not interested.”

  “That’s not what your body said or your lips when they kissed me back.” He grimaced as his shoulders straightened. “And for the record, I’m not lonely. Bored maybe, because I’m stuck in this darn apartment, but I know precisely what I’m doing and exactly what I want to happen.”

  “Well, you’re going to have to find someone else, because whatever it is you want to happen isn’t going to work with this woman. So stop with the cutesy stuff and let’s get a move on.” His face contorted as though I’d just shot an arrow through his heart. “Look, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings but we live in two different worlds.”

  “I don’t think it’s our worlds that are so different; I think you’re afraid to fall in love again. I’m not. I’m ready for romance.”

  “And I’m not. You’re missing being surrounded by those gorgeous blondes—I’m not one of those women.”

  “What photos are you talking about? The tabloids? The Internet?” He snorted. “You can’t believe that crap.”

  “Are you denying you didn’t have a different woman on your arm in every one of those photos?”

  “Were you checking out the competition?” he said with a side-glance.

  “No! I was trying to find out what I was getting myself into before I took the job.”

  “Why? Did you think those women would be here?”

  “I don’t know what I expected, but falling for someone of your celebrity status is—”

  “What? You don’t think you’re good enough for me?”

  “That isn’t what I meant.”

  “Yes, it is. This guy who hurt you was a jerk, Jamie. By hiding behind that protective shield, you’ve denied yourself any chance of happiness and you’re still allowing him to control you. Is that what you want?”

  “How can you say that?”

  “Just because he hurt you doesn’t mean every guy who comes into your life is going to do the same thing. Sure, my life has been an open book to the tabloids, but I’m not the guy you’ve read about and I already explained that to you,” he said, frustrated. “Those people get paid to make up stories. They meant nothing to me. Didn’t you believe me when I said I was running from love, just like you are right now? You’re cutting yourself off from having a normal life with someone who loves you.”

  “How could you possibly be in love with someone you know nothing about,” I blurted out, pretending it didn’t matter.

  “I guess you don’t believe in love at first sight?”

  “That’s just what got me into trouble the last time.” I shook my head from side to side. “Now c’mon, let’s get out of here before we miss the appointment.”

  His mouth clamped shut as I draped his jacket over his casted arm and struggled to get the zipper to close over the added bulk. I slid the crutches under his arms and leaned against the wall for support to help him stand, then watched as he crept slowly through the room until we were by the front door. I checked outside and noticed the limo parked at the curb.

  “Your chariot has arrived.” I tried to make small talk, hoping to liven up his mood, but he mostly ignored me, occasionally looking my way. “Smart move on your part to ask for a stretch limo. I had visions of you being lifted out by a crane sitting in a harnessed seat and air lifted to the doctor’s office.” He remained stoic. “Hey, lighten up, will you?” I said, trying to make him smile. “What happened to that positive attitude you had yesterday?”

  “It took a nosedive. I thought…oh, never mind.” I refrained from asking what he thought, knowing full well he was dwelling on the impossible.

  The door to Dr. Romano’s office opened and Chase appeared with the same casts in place. The grim expression on his face told me what he was feeling. I stepped forward and helped him with his jacket again.

  “What did he say?”

  Chase huffed out air. “He said my two falls pushed my recovery back a few weeks.” The muscle in his jaw quivered and my insides twisted into a knot. Sure, he was a grown man when he tried to stand on his own, but I still felt responsible. “Did he say how long?”

  “No. And I don’t want to talk about it,” he said abruptly.

  “Okay. Just trying to be helpful.” I shut my mouth. I’d already said too much.

  The driver greeted us at the door and helped Chase down the ramp and into the limo. I walked to the opposite side of the vehicle and got into the car and remained silent until we reached the apartment. During the long ride, the driver struck up a conversation with Chase about his racing and being a huge fan of his driving, which seemed to cheer Chase up somewhat, but he wasn’t as forthcoming with information. Their conversation faded in the background as I tried to think of something that was going to make me happy, but nothing came to mind. I rehashed my original business plan with resentment. The fact that the ad was still running in the newspapers and I hadn’t heard from anyone had communicated that people considered my service an indulgence rather than a necessity. I suppose I should have realized that, given the current state of the economy, but I was a half-full kind of gal when it came to my profession—not my love life, or lack thereof.

  My mind pictured me working in a restaurant again—something I really missed. Despite the chaotic dinner hour, it was exciting. After the driver left, I helped Chase back into bed and returned to the kitchen to prepare lunch. Other than him watching television, the apartment was very quiet and I was missing our interaction.

  I prepared his plate and carried the tray into the bedroom, placed it down in front of him, and sat down on the chair, knowing if I didn’t say something soon about the elephant in the room I wouldn’t be able to continue.

  “Want to talk about it?” I asked.

  “No. I don’t.”

  “Too bad. I do, otherwise I won’t be able to work for you.”

  “You can do what you want.”

  “Hey, if that’s wh
at you want, I can leave right now,” I snapped and walked out of the room. I cleaned up the kitchen and prepared to leave when I heard him call out to me.

  “Jamie, please come in here.” His eyes opened wide when he noticed I had my coat on ready to leave. “I’m sorry for acting like such a jerk. I’m not accustomed to being refused by anyone.”

  “I can see that.”

  “Why won’t you let me love you?” He dropped his fork down on his plate.

  “Because I don’t believe it’s real, Chase, that’s why. And because I’m afraid to let it sink in because you’re not the only one who’s been hurt and, while my pain has long outlived its time, I can’t set myself up for failure—not again. I don’t need a man to make me happy or whole. I’m fine with the way I am and my life.” I could feel my heart pounding from nerves, but I forged ahead. I needed to get this off my chest.

  “I know you can have any women you want, and right now you’re feeling lonely. What you think you feel for me has nothing to do with me. Let’s face it, I’m hardly your type. I don’t run around in the same crowds you do. Before Bailey arrived, my life was uncomplicated, and quite honestly, right now I’m not real sure how to handle the load and be as good a mother as my sister.”

  He remained silent, just staring at me. He pushed his tray to the side, took a deep breath, and spoke. “So what are you going to do? Remain celibate for the rest of your life just because you’ve been hurt and you have a child now?”

  I shrugged. “Even if I was open to a relationship, who wants a ready-made family?”

  “There are several of us who would be thrilled to have a child like Bailey,” he countered. “Tell me what happened to you so I understand what I’m up against.”

  “You don’t want to know.”

  “Oh, yes, I do.”

  Just thinking about Ryan and how his actions had damaged both our lives made my blood boil, and without hesitation, I got ready to tell him the truth. “Okay. You know that guy your girlfriend ran off with?”

  “I don’t want to talk about that jerk.”

  “Yeah, well, if you want to know about what happened to me, then you do.” His face formed into a deep frown.

  “That Ryan guy was my fiancé and the one who took your Emily to the honeymoon suite I helped pay for. So there, now you know.”

  “What? Oh, no.” He closed his eyes and pounded his fist on the bed. “I am so sorry.”

  The tears streamed down my cheeks. I walked to the nightstand and grabbed a tissue. He reached out for me and pulled me into his arms. “Please, let me hold you right now.”

  I melted into his arms and allowed myself to enjoy the moment of security knowing someone truly cared about me, thankful to be releasing the heavy burden of pent-up anguish I’d stored way too long. He kept patting me on the back, whispering soothing words of encouragement in my ear. We stayed that way until the tears subsided. I sat up and blew my nose.

  “Do you feel better now?”

  I nodded. “A little—better than I’ve felt in a long time.” It was apparent the good cry was just what I’d needed. “Thank you for that.”

  “I’m really glad I could help.” He kissed my forehead. “You’re not going to leave me now, are you?”

  “I don’t know. What do you want?”

  “I want you to stay so we can help each other get over our hurt. It’s obvious your hurt is much greater than mine, and I do understand now why you’re afraid. I’m sorry I pushed you and if I’m lucky enough to capture your heart then I’ll wait for your next move. I won’t burden you with my feelings. I’m so sorry. I can be pretty selfish at times and I want you to feel free to vent your feelings whenever the need arises. I’m always going to be here to listen. Okay?”

  “Okay.” I dried more tears. “Thank you, Chase.”

  “Thank you, Jamie. I’ll try to be more patient and not so demanding.”

  Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

  Cream the sugars and butter together with an electric mixer until it reaches the light-tan stage and increases in volume.

  No, you can’t make her love you, not yet anyway. Forget the advice from Renee and Courtney—the two Ann Landers wannabes. You’ve never needed help finding a woman to fall for you before, so why ask for assistance now? Play this by ear. Jamie will come around—maybe—but right now, she’s holding the ace in her hand, so don’t give her the wrong card because she’ll trump your hand right out of the game.

  Having your romantic hardships intertwined with one another makes you kindred spirits, not candidates for a relationship. And misguided information from her sister, who said to push hard, has her pushing back. She’s running, all right—she’s heading for the door. If anyone should be running, it’s you—from the sisters. You can take it from here. She already knows your bad side. Now show her the good side—the man who’s falling in love.

  And now that you have so much free time on your hands, add the eggs and vanilla and beat them into a frenzy the way you’d like to see that Ryan guy whipped dizzily into a whirling dervish.

  In a separate bowl, combine dry ingredients and add into the wet ingredients the same way you’d like to combine your lives, and mix thoroughly. Allow the dough to rest for thirty minutes. Good time for you to take a breather and give her space.

  Roll two-inch pieces into balls and coat both sides with the sugar/cinnamon mixture, then press down with your thumb to flatten on the ungreased baking sheet. Bake for twelve to fourteen minutes. Cookies will continue to cook after they’re been removed from the oven. Once they’re cooled they will be soft on the outside, chewy on the inside. Makes three dozen cookies.

  “Why are your eyes all swollen?” Gabi asked when we met at The Pub. As usual, the popular bar was filled with customers laughing and enjoying themselves.

  “Probably because I had a good cry late this afternoon.”

  “Why?”

  “You’re not going to believe this one.” I sighed. “My new boss confided in me yesterday that a year ago his former girlfriend, the one he was madly in love with and ready to get down on bended knee for, ran off with some guy named Ryan who’d decided he didn’t want to get married to another woman three weeks before the wedding.”

  Gabi stared blankly with her mouth agape. “Shut up!” She swallowed hard. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “I wish.” Despite my attempts to hold the tears back, they made an appearance anyway.

  “I’ll be a son of a gun,” she said, pulling a tissue from her pocket. “Out of all the people in New York City to work for, you meet the one guy who’s on the other side of that bee sting. Wow!” Disconcerted, she leaned back and crossed her arms. “I’m flabbergasted.”

  “Me too.”

  “Does he know?”

  “He does now. I wasn’t planning to say anything because I didn’t want him knowing my business, but today after his visit with the surgeon, he did nothing but whine about the outcome, and I got so tired of listening to this spoiled celebrity complain, I just lost it.”

  “And what did he say after you told him?”

  “He apologized and acknowledged that my hurt was greater than his and he hoped we could help each other.”

  “He’s falling for you, isn’t he?”

  “In his dreams. But I set him straight.”

  “Why would you do that? Do you like him?”

  “I do, but not in that way.”

  “According to the way your face lights up when you talk about him, I’d say you’re lying to both of us. And I’ll just bet he reached out and cuddled you when you started crying?”

  “Yeah…so. What does that have to do with anything? He was just trying to comfort me.”

  “No. It’s more than that. He likes the way it feels to have you in his arms.”

  “Oh, stop. I’m the last person to get involved with him or anyone else. Besides, I have Bailey now.”

  “Oh, wow, don’t tell me you’re using Bailey as the new excuse.”

  “Well
, no.” I sighed. “C’mon, you’re not going to be on my case too? I have enough do-gooders around me to last a lifetime.”

  “You know he’s back in town, don’t you?”

  “Who? Ryan?”

  “Yes. I ran into him yesterday and he looks terrible.”

  “It couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Was his girlfriend hanging off his arm?”

  “No, but he did ask about you.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  “That he was a creep for leaving you the way he did and I really didn’t want to discuss you, and then I left him standing by himself because I didn’t want be seen with him either.”

  “You didn’t need to do that for me. I mean I appreciate your loyalty, but he was friends with all you guys before I came onto the scene.”

  “Regardless, he’s not the Ryan I knew and loved as a friend. He let all of us down and he doesn’t get any points for that.” She gave me a sad face. “When are you going to move on with your life?”

  “I have moved on.”

  “Then you’re telling me that you’re falling for this Chase guy?”

  “No. I’m not falling for anyone.” I didn’t want to tell her I was falling for him. Why get her all excited and blabbing to the rest of the gang? And I sure didn’t need any of them on my case if it didn’t work out. “I’m not about to get involved with anyone. Having Bailey is very fulfilling.”

  “Jamie, you’re trying to talk yourself into believing that. She can’t offer the fulfillment a relationship can.”

  “And I don’t expect her to. Listen, I’ve had more than my share of tears and resentment today. Can we please change the subject and move on to something else?”

  She grinned. “Nah, nah, nah, not so fast, cookie.” She tilted her head to the side and gave me the squinty eyes with a lopsided twist of her mouth like she didn’t believe me.