by Jenika Snow
Drake Vidal spoke before the meal was served, then for the next hour they finished their incredible meal, and engaged in conversation with the others a the table.
“Will you dance with me?” Ryder asked. His face was close to hers again, his voice soft, and his cologne intoxicating. Her heart raced and her nerves rose to dangerous levels.
“I’ve never danced before.” She swallowed back her embarrassment. “I’ll humiliate you with my inexperience.” She tried to smile, but she was so damn nervous.
“There is nothing you could ever do to make me embarrassed being with you,” he said in a determined voice. “Nothing, Cinder.” He brushed his thumb along her jawline. “Please, dance with me?” The way he smiled this time was playful, and she felt herself nodding, wanting to experience this with him.
He held his hand out after he stood, and she slipped hers into his warm, bigger one. Ryder led her to the center of the dance floor, and as the smooth, soft classical music played and filled her head, she let herself fully embrace it all. Ryder was smooth in his motions, led the entire dance, and although she’d stepped on his feet a few times in the process, all he did was hold her tighter, whisper how well she did, and made her feel like she was cherished. Cinder didn’t feel like she was living someone else’s life.
The song ended and she pulled away from him. “Thank you. I didn’t feel like a total novice at it with you leading the way.”
He pulled her close with a hand to the back of her head, had his mouth poised right by hers, then lifted the corner of his mouth in a grin. “I’ll have to take you dancing more often.”
She felt her cheeks heat.
“Ryder,” a man called out, and they both turned to stare at an older gentleman making his way toward them. The man had a head full of white hair, and light-green eyes that could be seen past the dark mask he wore. The woman that was by his side was older as well, but was beautiful in an elegant way.
“Cinder, I’d like to introduce Dr. Holdester. He was my mentor while doing my residency. I still look up to him.”
The older man grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. “A pleasure.”
The two men started speaking. Cinder felt a little confused at the medical lingo they spoke with each other, so she excused herself to the ladies room. She walked around for a little while, taking in the scenery, the beautiful décor and building, and finally went into the restroom. She didn’t have to use it, but thought maybe Ryder would like to have some time to himself with a man he clearly looked up to.
She stepped into the immaculate bathroom and went over to the row of sinks. She removed her mask and set the dainty thing on the granite counter, and stared at her reflection. A few women came out of the stalls in their gorgeous evening gowns, and Cinder looked away.
“Hey, didn’t you arrive with Doctor Ryder Prince?” one of the women asked.
Cinder glanced up and nodded, surprised anyone had noticed. “I did.”
The women looked away from her, the one speaking grabbing a tube of lipstick from her purse and leaning forward to apply it to her lips. The bathroom was silent as the two women ignored Cinder. When she reached for her mask to put it back on and leave, feeling very uncomfortable all of a sudden, the one who had asked her the question just moments before spoke again.
“Don’t you work for him?”
Cinder faced the woman who had spoken. She turned around, smoothed a finger along her bottom lip, and gave Cinder a fake smile. “Yeah, you’re his new cleaning lady, right? I’ve heard talk that he was bringing an employee to the gala, and assumed it was his receptionist, Melanie.”
Cinder clenched her hands at her sides. These women clearly knew who she was, and how she knew Ryder, but the tone in her voice spoke of disgust almost. “I am, and tonight I’m his date.”
The woman put the lipstick back in her purse and smiled wider. “Well, this is a charity event after all.” She eyed Cinder up and down. “Ryder is one of the most eligible and sought-after bachelors in the city. I can’t possibly see why he’d want someone who cleans his toilets to accompany him tonight.”
“Brenda, manners,” the other woman said. She had stayed quiet up until now, but even though she spoke she was busy fixing her hair and staring at her reflection.
“I am being polite,” the one named Brenda said. She lowered her gaze to Cinder’s arm, the one not currently hidden behind the shawl. “Nice accessories,” Brenda stated, and the other woman glanced over at her.
“Oh my God. Are those cigarette burns?”
Cinder grabbed her shawl, knowing she should be strong and fight back, but she curled into herself instead.
“How disgusting. A charity indeed,” the unnamed woman said, turned up her nose and the two women turned and left.
Cinder shouldn’t have felt the bone crushing sadness she did, but it was unavoidable. All she pictured as she stared at those scars on her arms, at the ones she knew were on her thigh, was the fact that she wasn’t a good enough person to be here. This wasn’t her scene, wasn’t her place to mingle with these socialites. Cinder shouldn’t have allowed them to control her like this, but the wave of destruction she’d always kept buried rose up like a violent monster. She wanted Ryder, but she also didn’t want to bring him down to her level. She left the bathroom, but didn’t get very far before she ran right into Ryder’s chest. He grabbed her by the arms and smoothed his hands over her flesh.
“Hey, are you okay? I’ve been looking for you.”
She shook her head, feeling so stupid for acting this way, feeling this way, but unable to fully express what was going on. This wasn’t about him, but her, and she hated herself for that.
“I just… I can’t. I’m sorry, Ryder.” He looked so confused, and she hated putting that look on his face. She pulled away from him and started making her way down the stairs.
“Wait. Cinder, please wait,” Ryder called out, and she forced her tears to stay back.
How could this work with him? Ryder was so good and kind, gentle and giving, and she was running like a coward because of what… because some bitches had insulted her? No, the problem was with her, deep and to her soul. She lost her shoe on the fourth to the last step, but kept running until she was outside. She was lost, not only on the inside, but on the outside, too. Would she ever be able to find herself again, and be able to have what she wanted in life, and give Ryder what he wanted?
* * *
Ryder went after her, hating that she ran from him.
The outside was frigid, a wind blowing the chilled air around him. He saw her up ahead, her gait uneven because she’d lost her shoe in the process of running. He moved quickly to her, covered her with his jacket, and grabbed her arm in a firm but gentle hold. He spun her around. She wasn’t crying, but Ryder could see Cinder was on the verge.
“You feel out of control right now,” he stated without malice or accusation. Ryder said it with warmth and support. He bent to his haunches, lifted her shoeless foot up, and slipped her heel on. “And that’s okay, because we are only human.” He stood again and kept his hold on her arm. “But please don’t run, Cinder. Please don’t block me out when I want to be here with you, be here for you.” He stroked the skin under her eye, tried to pull her close again and into the warmth of his body, but she placed her hands on his chest and didn’t move further.
“My life has been one of degradation, trash, drugs and hatred.” Her voice was soft as she spoke. “I’m not the kind of woman who has wealth and experience because I’ve traveled and been educated.” Cinder swallowed, and he knew she was having a hard time speaking about this. “I lived in filth and poverty, worked my way up, kept my mind intact, and knew everything that happened wasn’t something that should shape me. I can’t be like those women in there. I won’t.”
He could see the little warrior and spitfire she held inside. “I don’t want a woman like some of the ones in there. I want you, Cinder, can’t you see that?”
“I have scars inside and out
.” She held out her arm and he saw the cigarette burns that lined her flesh. The three circular, puckered spots broke his heart, and he reached out to touch them.
“These are a part of me, but don’t define me. But Ryder, I’m scared of what the future holds. I’m afraid of what my life will be with you, but also without you.” She inhaled deeply. “In this short time that I’ve known you, I feel this strength around you, feel the need to be open and be honest with you, and that frightens me as well.”
“I know, baby. God, I know how scary all of this must be because it’s so fast, so intense.” He cupped her face, and felt the chill on her skin from the cold air. “You belong with me, with only me. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says or thinks. It doesn’t matter that the past haunts you and sometimes you feel like you’re falling because of it.” Ryder stared at her, hoping she saw the truth in his words. “None of that matters because you’re the one I want. I will always be here to catch you when you think you’ll fall. I will never let you hit the ground, Cinder. Never.” He pulled her in close, cupped her head to his chest, and felt her start to tremble. It wasn’t from the cold of the March weather, or the fact she clutched at his shirt and started crying. It was because she was afraid. Of that he had no doubt.
“Don’t you understand I’m broken?”
He pulled her back, and stared right in her eyes. “You are not broken, Cinder,” he said with a hardness in his voice that surprised even him. “You are a survivor, a woman who has taken control of her life, and has not let her nightmares control her.” He cupped her cheek. “You are a woman who knows what she wants, might be afraid to go after it, but grabbed onto her desires and refused to back down, no matter what life threw at you.” He smiled at her, hoping she could understand that her past didn’t shape her, but made her a warrior.
“God, where have you been all of my life?” She smiled and a tear slipped down her cheek. “I’m sorry for being a coward and letting others control how I felt and acted. That’s not how I am, who I am, Ryder.”
“I know, baby.” He leaned down and kissed her tear, wiped it away with his lips, and held her tighter. “I wish I had been there sooner, Cinder. I wish I had been able to protect you from everything. I’m here now, baby, and don’t plan on going anywhere.” He stroked her back, just stood there for a moment with her in his arms for several seconds, then she pulled back slightly to stare at his face.
“Take me home, Ryder. Help me start new memories that get rid of the ones I’ve burned in my mind now.”
He kissed her, and promised to do just that from this point on.
Chapter Eight
‡
Ryder unlocked his front door and pushed it open. The limo had taken them back to his place, and he wanted to show Cinder how much she mattered to him. He’d worship her body and soul, and show her that not everything in the world was evil.
As soon as they stepped inside, he had the door slammed shut and Cinder pressed against the wall. He took her mouth in a soft, yet demanding kiss. Her mouth opened slightly, breathing out roughly against his, and he breathed her in. She was sweet and warm, and all his. She had run from him, from what he had said, but he couldn’t fault her for that. Whatever she’d gone through was something that frightened her past and future. Ryder would need to go slow, ease her into what he wanted, because he knew he could make her happy.
“You’re doing okay, baby?” he asked against her mouth, and she nodded in approval. He groaned, cupped her cheek, and kissed her again.
“I’m just frightened, Ryder,” she said, and he pulled back slightly.
“You don’t have to be afraid anymore, Cinder. You don’t ever have to be scared again.” A hoarse groan left him and he curled his fingers into her soft, warm flesh. He wanted her on him, surrounding him with her heat and scent. Ryder wanted everyone who came near her to know she was his. The primal instincts going through him were intense, and had confusion coursing through his body. Sliding his hand down to her hip, he clenched her pliant flesh, pulling her closer and kissing her harder. He was stiff, aching, and wanted to feel her body clenching around him. A second later, he gripped her shoulders, the thin straps of her gown lightly falling from her shoulders. Something inside of him snapped and he wanted to tear the material away, but he took his time and pushed it off her body, all the while kissing her. Their tongues fought one another, fucked each other until he could feel his pulse beat at the tip of his cock.
“I feel like I’m burning alive.”
“I know, baby.” He kissed her harder. “I feel the same way.” She was undoing the buttons of his shirt and all he could think about was spreading her creamy thighs and sinking all the way to the hilt in her. A shudder worked through him at the erotic thought. Deep inside he knew he had to go slow, coached himself on that over and over again, but damn, was it hard. “I don’t want to rush you, Cinder.” He pulled away slightly after he spoke. He stared into her blue eyes, and watched as the emotion played across her face.
“I want this, Ryder. I want to be with you and not think about anything but you and me, and the right here and now.”
He breathed out roughly, a tremor working its way through him.
“I don’t want to run anymore, Ryder.”
He held her face and tilted her had back, and then Ryder kissed her softly. With each passing second he became more frantic in his actions and need for her. The flesh of her shoulders was as soft and delicate as the rest of her. He worked his hands down her body until her breasts spilled into his hands. Her nipples, rock hard against his palms, caused the blood to rush through his veins. His erection throbbed painfully behind his zipper. Soft sounds erupted from her and she thrust her chest into his hands. He pushed her dress the rest of the way down, and took her little panties with them. The material pooled at the floor on her feet, and she quickly kicked it aside. There she stood, completely naked and all his.
It took all of his willpower to break their hot, wet kiss and trail his mouth along her satiny body. God, she tasted fabulous, like honey and vanilla, and he instantly grew addicted, intoxicated. Suckling on the mounds of her breasts, he could hear her rapid breathing, could feel her heart beating. Cinder wound her hands in his hair, tugging at the strands until he grew delirious with desire for her. Alternating between her breasts, Ryder savored every inch of her. He broke away only for a moment to look down at her chest. Her nipples were engorged and tinted red, the areolas puckered from his ministrations. Letting his gaze travel down her nude body, he took in her pussy that was lightly trimmed with dark hair. He slipped his hand down her body and covered her mound with his palm, his fingers slipping through her slick folds.
“Let me feel you, baby. Just let yourself go with me.” Desire clogged his throat. A little shiver worked its way through her body. He picked her up easily, and she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Resting her head on his shoulder, Cinder relaxed against him. He loved this, loved the feeling of having her in his arm and in his home. He moved down the hallway and into his room, and once he was by the bed, he gently laid her on top of it. She immediately lay back on the mattress, and her naked body looked illuminated because of the moonlight streaming through the partially opened blinds.
“You’re sure about this, Cinder?” he asked her again, because he wanted her to know that nothing needed to be rushed. He had all the time in the world when it came to her. She nodded, and he started removing his tux. When he was just as nude as she was, he grabbed his shaft and stroked himself a few times. He was a large man in height and weight, and his dick was no different in girth and length. He wasn’t being a cocky bastard, but when he saw her eyes widen slightly he knew she could tell how big he was in the darkened room.
He placed a knee on the bed and braced his body with his hands on the mattress by her head. Using the momentum from his upper body, he pushed her back on the bed fully and settled his hips between hers. She cradled him perfectly, like she was made for him. The way she looked
at him was an aphrodisiac all in itself. She was beautiful and sweet, and everything he could have ever imagined. Her breasts were large with pink tipped nipples. And her body, shit, her body was curvy and all woman. His cock jerked at the sight of her all primed and ready for him. There was something about her that called to him. She didn’t even have to say anything. Just a look from her had done him in.
He leaned back slightly and looked at her body once again, memorizing every part of her. Skin the color of creamy milk covered every square inch of her. Mouth gone dry as he stared at the slit between her thighs, all he wanted to do was spread her legs and feast at the delicate folds that were hidden between the creamy flesh. “Spread your thighs, Cinder. Let me see all of you.” A buzzing started inside of him as he watched her part her thighs. Her outer lips gently pulled apart, and when he saw the delicate, redder flesh of her inner lips, his mouth watered for a sampling of her. What he really wanted to do was lick her, kiss her pussy with his mouth, and have her come all over his face. He lifted his hand and touched her between the legs. She was already slick with her need for him, and his fingers slipped through her folds with ease. Moving his thumb to her clit and his finger to the opening of her body, he teased her mercilessly until she was moaning slightly and lifting her hips for more of his hand. He gently pushed his index finger into her body and exhaled roughly.