Amazon Companion

by Roseau, Robin

  "Without her?"

  "No, but I need you to pay attention to me."

  I nodded and took my leave. It took a few minutes, but finally someone said, "Nori? I think she headed to the training grounds." So I wandered there, and when I arrived, she had her sword out and was making thrusts at imaginary enemies.

  "Do you envision any of them looking like me?" I asked her.

  She stopped at the end of a lunge, freezing. "Maya."

  "Nori. I was looking for you."

  She stood, sheathing her sword before turning to me.

  "Why did you leave?" I asked her.

  "So you wouldn't feel obligated to continue what you were doing."

  "Well, I hope you got that out of your system. Come with me." I held out my hand.

  She stared at it, then walked slowly to me, but she didn't take the offered hand.

  "Nori, do you not want what I am offering?"

  "I want to know what you are offering."

  "I am not offering kisses. I am not offering to neglect my warrior. I am otherwise offering what you need."

  "And do you know what I need?"

  "Yes."

  "What is that?"

  "To start with, you need to take my hand. You need to touch someone. You need to touch me."

  "Yes."

  "And you need to come with me."

  She took my hand, and I pulled her closer, locking arms with her, then setting my other hand on her arm. I led her away from the village.

  "Don't let me get us lost, and we must return for the fire."

  She laughed. "You don't know where you're taking me?"

  "I am taking us somewhere we can sit and not be disturbed."

  "Sit?"

  "Fully clothed."

  She laughed. "I understood. This way." She pulled me towards the left, leading us into the woods for several minutes. We came to a large tree with a soft, mossy ground at its base. "Is this what you had in mind?"

  "It is perfect." I pulled her down to the tree, and we leaned against it and against each other. I turned towards her, reaching for her legs and pulling her closer. It was almost a lover's embrace. Almost.

  She was looking away, but I pulled her face towards mine.

  "I know what you need, but I do not know how to get it from you."

  "What do I need?"

  "Nori, you need to cry."

  And that was all it took. The tears began welling in her eyes, and she buried her face in my shoulder.

  She didn't sob, but she cried freely, clutching at me, her face finding the bare skin of my neck. I held her and spoke soothingly.

  "It's so terrible, Maya," she said. "They get in your minds. They try to take your mind. Physically, they are very big and very strong, but they are slow and easily defeated. The real fight is in the mind."

  She didn't cry long. She needed a much longer cry, but she pulled away, just a little, not willing to break the contact.

  "We can't stay here," she said. "You mustn't neglect Malora."

  "The fire will be lit soon, but we have a little time."

  She continued to clutch at me and pressed her nose into my neck. I held her and spoke soothingly.

  "How did you know?" she asked.

  "That you needed me? Or that you needed to cry?"

  "Both, I guess."

  "I had the clues for the first, and I figured the second from your reaction at dinner. I am available until you have your own companion, but there are limits you understand."

  "Thank you. This becomes a burden for the companions, you know."

  "It hasn't yet," I said. "You have more crying inside you, but not tonight."

  "No, not tonight." She helped me to my feet, and we held hands as she led us back to the village. On the outskirts, she turned to me. "Please do not tell that I cried."

  "Why do you think I led us from the village?"

  "Not even Malora."

  "I will tell her only you needed privacy with me."

  She caressed my face, and I smiled, and we stepped into the village.

  The fire was lit, and Malora was watching for me. Her eyes alighted on me as we entered, and she looked relieved to see me. Nori led me to my warrior and would have left, but I sunk down at Malora's feet and leaned against her, pulling Nori down next to me.

  Nori leaned against me for a moment then whispered into my ear, "That is all for tonight. It is asking a lot for Malora to share you, and now she needs to be assured that she comes first."

  And with that, Nori rose to sit on the other side of the fire. Malora tugged on me, inviting me to sit on the bench next to her, and so I rose from the ground and sat down next to her, and it was my turn to bury my face in someone's neck. She kissed the top of my head.

  "Are you all right?" she asked.

  "Of course. Were you worried?"

  "I shouldn't have been, but I couldn't help it."

  "You are my warrior, and I am your companion."

  She caressed my cheek.

  "You are here now," she said.

  She was very affectionate as the Amazons took turns telling stories around the fire.

  Later, as we were preparing for bed, there was a knock at our hut.

  "Come," Malora commanded, and Ralla entered carrying a large pile of clothes in her hands. Malora turned for me. "It's for you, Companion."

  I laughed and took the clothing from Ralla.

  "These are the ones that shouldn't require patching," she said. "The bottom ones are the most important." She paused. "The top one is special for me. It may be that you cannot repair it. Please do not. Um."

  I set the clothes aside and turned to her, reaching out a hand to her arm. She stopped trying to speak and looked at my hand.

  "I-"

  "Who gave the top garment to you, Ralla?"

  "I have had it since I became an Amazon," she said. "It is from my warrior."

  "What was her name?"

  "Bara," she replied. "She died saving my life. Perhaps I should take it with me."

  "I'll take good care of it," I told her. "I'll see what I can do. You can trust me, Ralla." I took her hand and squeezed it.

  Malora was watching us without being obvious about it. Ralla looked down at my hands, then over at Malora, then back at me.

  I turned her to the door, tugging on her gently, and we stepped outside together. She turned to leave, but I pulled her back. "I will repair your clothes, and we will talk further when you return."

  She looked in the direction where Malora would be standing, and then her gaze shifted across the compound to Nori's hut.

  "You are without a companion, Ralla. I am the queen's companion, and that means my responsibilities are to more than only her."

  "You mustn't neglect her."

  "I won't."

  And then she hugged me, holding me tightly and caressing my hair. I returned the hug.

  "How bad is it?" I asked her quietly.

  She caressed me and didn't answer, then she pushed away. "Do you know what you're doing, Maya?"

  "Working on it," I said. "You're going to be okay, Ralla."

  "The voices," she said.

  "I know." I caressed her cheek. "Be strong, and come see me when you get back."

  She nodded, stroked my hair once more, then pulled away, watching me for a moment then spinning and running to her own hut. I backed into the hut I shared with Malora and found myself in her arms. She wrapped herself around me and kissed my ear.

  "Tell me how I can convince you to never leave," she whispered.

  "My village is responsible for this need," I said.

  "No. The demons are responsible for this need. Do not take blame for something you didn't do."

  I turned in her arms. "Will you take me to bed?"

  "Ready for your massage?"

  "Would you like one?"

  I could see her smile in the moonlight as we stood in the doorway. "There are times I will say 'yes'. You will know. I enjoy being allowed to touch you. It means more to m
e than the other way."

  "I am not going to complain, Malora, but-"

  She pressed fingers to my lips. "This is what I need from you. Allow me this."

  "Can you explain further?"

  "When you allow me to massage you, you accept more intimate touch than you might otherwise. You allow me to care for you and to take care of you. You allow me to care about something soft and sweet and worthy of caring."

  I tugged her to the bed. A companion's job was never done. I've had worse jobs.

  * * * *

  Malora was right. The next day, Nori asked if we could ride double. I agreed immediately and then asked if she wanted me before her or behind.

  "In front," she said.

  "Most companions ride in back."

  "In front," she repeated. And so I caught her horse and saddled it, then climbed on top, and she hopped up behind me, wrapping her arms around me and leaning against my back.

  "You lead," she said. "You must find our four snares, and then I will teach you how to prepare a fifth from the supplies nature gives us."

  I turned us to the trail. "The snares you used so far are of hemp."

  "From the tithe," she said. "It is not to be wasted, but is available for all in need. But you will not always have cord with you and may need to make do."

  "We will use vines?"

  "Yes. You can also strip bark and braid a rope, but I do not recommend that except in an emergency."

  "I imagine that is stiffer."

  "Yes, and hard on the plants. But it is better than starving."

  We rode in silence for a few minutes before I asked her, "Do you want to talk about it?"

  "Can you stand it?"

  "Yes. Tell me about the voices."

  "They are always there," she said. "Even after you kill the demon, the voice remains in your head."

  "The voices are there now?"

  "Yes. Whispering to me. That is why they are demons. Their bodies are horrible, but it is their whispers that make them demons."

  "Why does this help?" I said, gesturing to the way she was holding me.

  "It quiets the voices," she said. "I couldn't explain why."

  "And holding Malora does not help?"

  "No. It makes the voices louder. They hear each other, it seems. We tried to remain lovers, but we couldn't. The demons spoke to us while we made love. It was terrible."

  "When you touch me, and she touches me, do the demons hear each other?"

  "No. It is like they are afraid of you. But it takes intimate touch for them to hear one another. I can touch Malora, I just cannot be intimate with her. I cannot hold her like this."

  "This is not that intimate."

  "It is intimate enough," she said. "I can ride double with another warrior, but you will not find us holding each other like I am holding you. It would be torture for both of us."

  "So the voices are still as you hold me?"

  "They grow still," she said. "We would need greater intimacy for them to become silent."

  "So they are not silent for Malora, either?"

  "No, but she is doing much better now that you are here. She sleeps better."

  "What happens without companions?"

  "We go mad eventually. You should ask these questions of your warrior."

  "My warrior becomes more troubled talking about these things. You grow less troubled. But that is all for today. Tomorrow you will tell me about your first kill. Hold me now and tell me a happy story."

  So she told me how she broke her leg while on patrol, ending with being laid up for eight weeks.

  "Nori, I would like to understand why that is a happy story."

  "Because it was the coldest winter I had ever known, and I got to stay inside near a warm fire until spring."

  I laughed. "I will have to remember that."

  "Self-inflicted wounds are hard to disguise."

  "I am terribly clumsy. Surely you have noticed."

  She didn't answer.

  "Nori," I said. "You are one of my trainers. Surely you've noticed."

  "That is definitely a conversation for your warrior."

  "However did I beat Riva?"

  "She was trying very hard not to actually hurt you. You didn't have the same care, and then she was startled by your ferocity."

  "I was fighting for my sister's life."

  "You were well-motivated. I have to wonder whether you would more fully apply yourself to training if Gallen's Cove were closer to the demons."

  "I believe Malora's whip is all the incentive I need." I rubbed my backside, which still hurt from three swats during the afternoon session.

  "You are not as sullen as you were the first day."

  "I am biding my time while I look for an opportunity to turn the tables."

  "Good luck with that."

  "Leave me my fantasies. They're all I have."

  She chuckled.

  We arrived with no false turns. Nori didn't comment, but simply slid from the horse, then helped me down. I didn't need the help, but I knew she wanted the touches to linger. I turned to her. "Better?"

  She nodded and released me.

  I had no trouble finding the snares. We had caught two more rabbits. Nori insisted we move the center snare.

  "Why? It's been doing so well."

  "We don't want to over-harvest a single location."

  "Ah, of course. More rabbits next year."

  "Yes. Some hunters make a small map of where they have left their snares so they can rotate them around over the years."

  "Do you?"

  She smiled. "No. I am not so diligent. You may also notice I do not use much rabbit skin in my clothing."

  I smiled, understanding. She hunted larger game.

  After that, she showed me how to find vines I could use. If they were too thin, they broke easily. If they were too thick, the rabbit could escape. They had to be just right. We set our fifth snare, and I thanked her for the lesson.

  "You are welcome, Maya. Can you find the way home?"

  "Yes."

  "Blindfolded?"

  "No."

  "I bet you can."

  I cocked my head. "A new puzzle?"

  "Perhaps."

  "You would direct our mount?"

  "No."

  "Somehow I would direct our mount while unable to see?"

  "After a fashion. Go on. Mount up."

  I climbed onto the horse, and Nori climbed on behind me. Then she produced a length of cloth and held it where I could see it.

  "You're actually serious? I think you're going to direct the horse."

  "Yes, I'm serious. No, I am not going to direct the horse unless something unexpected happens."

  "Like we get lost?"

  "Like we encounter a bear."

  "I think you're crazy. All right, go ahead." She wrapped the blindfold over my eyes then told me to adjust it until I couldn't see.

  "Grab the reins," she said. "Give them a swish, then tell him to take us home. After that, let him have his head. Your subconscious will make the right choices. Don't try to think about it."

  So I did what she said, and the horse began moving.

  Nori leaned against me and wrapped her arms around me again. We compared teaching stories. I taught school and she taught martial arts, but we found similarities.

  "Students are often lazy," I told her.

  "Tell me about it," she replied.

  "You are trying to get a lot more from your students than I did from mine," I said. "I would not say I have been lazy."

  "I would."

  "You don't mean that."

  "I do, but I don't want to fight about it."

  I didn't respond right away. "You're serious?"

  "Yes."

  "I am not sitting around playing with my friends, Nori. No one has ever accused me of ever being under-committed to anything I have set my mind to."

  "You do what Malora and I demand at the tip of a whip, and not one tiny bit more. How is that different tha
n your students?"

  "The tip of the whip may have a lot to do with it. When during my day do you want more from me? Or are you suggesting that I am lazy in spite of the whip?"

  "Could you get more from your students if you had Malora's whip?"

  "And was willing to whip children? Yes, I guess."

  "Do you give us more because if you don't, you know what happens?"

  "Yes."

  "So you are lazy, and you work hard only because the alternative is worse. If we didn't make you, would you even attend training?"

  "No," I said sullenly.

  "Don't get angry, Maya. But would you want me to be dishonest with you?"

  "No," I said, only marginally less sullenly. "I really am lazy?"

  "Not about anything else, but about this? Yes."

  "But I don't like it," I said. "I'm not any good at it, and I'm never going to be any good. Furthermore, Malora says I'll never be a warrior, and she said it before the first day of training. She has said she'll do anything she can to prevent me becoming a warrior. So why do I have to train like one?"

  "I don't like mathematics," Nori said, her tone a mirror of mine. "I'm not any good at math, and I'm not going to be. Furthermore, I know for a fact I'll never, ever need to do anything more complicated than basic addition and subtraction. So why do I need to learn more than that?"

  "Damn it!" I said, then began laughing. "That's almost word-for-word what some of my students have said to me."

  "I was one of those students once. I am terrible at math."

  "I could teach you," I told her playfully.

  "No, thank you. I know for a fact I will never need to be good at math, and unfortunately for you, Teacher, you don't have a whip, and if you had one, you wouldn't know how to use it."

  "How hard can it be? You flick it against someone's backside."

  "You think it's that easy?" she asked.

  I sighed. "It's not?"

  "There are reasons only Malora and I play the demon nipping at your heels. Do you think either of us like making you flinch? I'd love to share it with the other warriors, but they lack the delicate touch."

  "Delicate?" I screeched, rubbing my backside again. "It doesn't feel delicate."

  "Malora and I can lay just the tip of the whip right where it will do the most good. With anyone else, you get more than the tip or a complete miss. Of course, we can also make that tip sting exactly the amount we want. Again, with the others, it tends to either be a thump or rips your skin."