by Toni Aleo
I grin, cupping her behind her neck and pulling her toward me. “That’s a good place to keep me.”
“I think so,” she says with a wink.
“I am hot, too. And talented. I think you did good there.”
She rolls her eyes. “It’s suffocating in here with your ego, you know?”
“Eh, hush. You love my ego.”
She blows a raspberry, but it’s only for a second before I press my lips to hers, my eyes falling shut as her kiss takes me to another world. One where there is no pain for either of us. Where we both come from happy homes with no drama at all. But when she pulls away, I’m ripped back into reality, staring into her turquoise eyes.
This reality, yeah, it can be tough, but it’s also pretty freaking great.
With her in it.
I kiss the back of Avery’s head and she nuzzles her ass against my cock. My heart is still racing, and I can feel hers doing the same. Wrapping my arms around her naked body, I kiss her shoulder and then the back of her neck. “I love you.”
She lets out a sigh. “I love you too.”
Still in my arms, she turns, leaning her forehead against my chin. While the sex was hot like it always is, I could tell she was distracted. I’m not a hundred percent sure about what, though. Usually, she’s totally into it, but it was different this time. Which makes me a little nervous. Does she know what Jude wants to tell me?
Tilting my chin up, I move her face back with only my chin as she laughs. “Jace! I hate when—” But she’s cut off when my chin goes into her mouth. Moving her head, she glowers. “—you do that. It’s weird. Like you have no hands or something.”
I grip her ass and she laughs. “Oh, I have hands. But hush, I want to look at you before you leave me for a couple days.”
She looks sad as her gaze falls to my nose. “I don’t want to go. Especially since you’ll be seeing an ex all weekend.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Don’t trust me?”
“Whatever. You know I do. I just don’t trust her, she looks slutty.”
I shrug. “Eh, not really.”
She gives me a dull look. “Jace, her profile pic is her with a bra on, pushing her breasts up. I can guarantee you more than half the men on her friends list don’t even know her.”
I grin as I think about the picture. “She was fun.”
She shudders. “I might need to go make sure I don’t have any STDS.”
“Drama queen.”
“Ha, don’t hate ’cause I want to be safe.”
“Um, my cock is one hundred percent clean. I was taught well: Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool.”
She eyes me. “While I appreciate your vow of cleanliness, I’m really impressed that you can still surprise me with your corniness.”
“Hey!”
She kisses the side of my mouth as I cuddle against her, our breathing falling into the same rhythm. Her fingers slide up the back of my head and I melt against her. Closing my eyes, I whisper, “You have nothing to worry about.”
“I better not,” she warns and my mouth curves up.
“I better not either,” I grin back and she’s the one scoffing this time.
“Please, don’t be silly.”
Opening my eyes, I shoot her a serious look, which causes her to dissolve into laughter. Rolling her eyes, she presses her nose to mine and I look deep into those beautiful eyes of hers. I have nothing to worry about, and I know it. This girl is mine. All mine. But, there is still a bad feeling in my gut about what Jude has to tell me. I don’t know what it is, and that scares me.
When her eyes turn from happy to serious, I forget about Jude and my brow rises as her lip goes between her teeth. “What?”
She shrugs. “Can I be honest?”
I nod. “Of course… Wait, was the sex not good? Don’t tell me the sex wasn’t good.”
She sputters with laughter, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. Looking at me with an amused expression, she says, “Really, Jace? No, not that, dork. But, I do think you went too hard ’cause I feel sick. Or maybe it was the ice cream?”
I give her a knowing look. “You did eat three scoops and then the rest of my mine. You were basically the growing dude who plays hockey today, and I was the small, not strong, guitar-playing girl.”
She glares. “Hey, I’m strong. My guitar is heavy.”
“Oh, of course,” I say quickly, my eyes dancing, and she laughs.
“Shut up! I was hungry, but now I regret my choices.”
Giving her a stern look, I quickly shake my head. “You do not regret ice cream or sex, Avery. That’s just wrong.”
She giggles as she shakes her head, but then she pauses, holding her gut. “Blah, I think I’m gonna barf.”
“Really?” I ask, a little surprised. But then, she did eat a lot of ice cream. And really, I don’t play around with sex. I get it done.
She swallows hard. “I think I pushed it back down.”
“How romantic.” I’m feeling a little queasy now too.
She sticks her tongue out at me and then shakes her head. “I think I’m good.”
“Oh, good.”
“Anyway…”
“Yes, what are we being honest about?” I ask and she sets me with a look. “You want me to come to New Jersey with you? Meet your parents, beat your brothers up if they’re mean to you?”
She laughs. “I would never ask that of you. Those people are nuts. Plus, you have a game Friday.”
“This is true.”
“Okay, so shut up and let me talk.”
“Well, talk,” I say and she rolls her eyes.
“I’m trying!” I laugh at the frustration all over her face. She’s so cute when her face is red and her eyes go wild. They turn such an awesome green color and take my breath away. Honestly.
Yeah, our lives are going a hundred miles an hour and may be going in different directions, but nothing can keep us apart. No matter what. I’ve been thinking like mad since we left the record company this afternoon, and I know it’s going to be hard. That we may be apart a lot, but we can do it. Hell, Jude and Claire have been doing just that and they are fine. We’ll figure it out because you fight for love. You fight like there are ten seconds left on the clock and you’re down a goal. You don’t give up, and I won’t give up on this girl. Too many people have failed her, and I won’t be one of them.
Pulling back, her face fills with a sweet pink color as her eyes lock with mine. “Are you done interrupting me?”
I eye her. “So no to a second round?” I say, waggling my brows seductively, but she only glares.
“No. Let me talk!”
“Fine! Talk,” I yell back playfully and she grins before I take her mouth with mine.
She starts to pull away, but I grasp her breast in my hand. “You really still wanna talk?”
Sucking in a deep breath, she swallows hard and looks deep into my eyes. “I don’t know if I want to be a performer.”
Now that makes me stop. “Huh?”
“Like, when I was in the meeting, he said he doesn’t know if he can sell my voice. It wasn’t the first time I’ve heard that.”
My brow rises. “I love your voice.”
“Yeah, but some don’t. They say it’s too raspy. And while we both think it’s great, I don’t know if I can put myself out there to be hated.”
“I’m confused. I thought you wanted this. Why does it matter what people think?”
She nods. “God, yes, I do. But I think I want to be behind the scenes. I love performing at the coffee shop and downtown, but lately, my anxiety has been really bad. The other day I forgot the words to one of my songs ’cause people started to leave.”
I wasn’t there, but she told me what had happened. She was a wreck about it, but I didn’t think anything of it. Maybe I should have. “Yeah, but that’s only a few people. If it’s your dream to be onstage, do it.”
She shrugs, her eyes full of nervousness that I really don’t understand. “Th
at’s the thing. I don’t know if it is. I love writing. I love spilling my soul out into a song. But I don’t know. Lately, I’ve been real anxious onstage. Well, no, I love being at the coffee shop, mainly because those people love me, but downtown has been hard for me. That’s another reason I feel I have to go see my doctor in New Jersey. I think they need to up my meds.”
“I didn’t know,” I whisper, moving my hand from her breast to her jaw. “Is there anything I can do to help? I feel bad ’cause I haven’t been able to go lately.”
She shakes her head. “No, please don’t. It’s just… I’ve been thinking a lot about what Stu said, and maybe I should just stay behind the scenes. Write the music and let the performer worry about the stress and shit that comes from being out there.”
I get what she’s saying, and it’s smart. But at the same time, I want her to follow her dreams. I don’t want her to regret anything. I don’t want her to hold back her awesomeness. But I nod and look back up at her. “So you don’t want to be the Carrie Underwood to my Mike Fisher?”
She grins as she shrugs. “I don’t know. A part of me does, but the other part doesn’t. I just don’t know.”
She looks nervous, maybe a little anxious, and that, in turn, makes me nervous. I don’t want her to worry. I want her to love life and enjoy it, but I know that’s hard for her. She has to have a sense of control over everything. I get it, I do, but I don’t want her to regret this later. Swallowing hard, I look deep into her eyes. “I support whatever you want, Avery. But please promise me you’ll do what makes you happy.” When her mouth lifts at the side, my other hand comes up to wrap around her neck. “That’s all I care about, you being happy. If you want to be onstage, then, baby, I’m there, front row. If you want to write chart-toppers, then I’ll sit front row at the Grammys beside you. You just have to tell me what you want. Trust and believe, I’ll be right there with you through it all.”
She nods slowly, her eyes filling with love. “Thank you.”
“Of course.”
“I don’t know yet, though. I’m still thinking it through.”
“Sounds good,” I say with a nod. “Just find your dream and live it.”
She smiles. “That’s the plan.”
“Good, now are you done talking?”
She gives me a sinful little grin. “Yes, Jace.”
“Good.”
Without another word, I take her with the hope that this is forever.
And that what Jude has to say won’t change that.
But I’m scared it will.
Coach is running us into the ground.
It’s the practice before our game and we have to be perfect.
I have to be perfect.
Rushing down the ice, I move the puck to the left as Ricky comes toward me, trying to poke the puck away. Turning around him with the puck, I send it to Markus who shoots but misses the goal completely, the puck rocketing off the glass and onto the defense’s stick. Ricky tries to send it up to someone, but I’m there, stopping it and sending it over to Archer. He fakes it, really sending it to Markus as I crash the net, trying to screen. He sends it back to Archer, who sends it to Bloomy, but he only holds it for a second before sending it back to Markus. He winds up, and he has it, I know he does, but when he shoots, instead of going in, it hits me.
Fuck.
Crumpling to the ground, I feel tears sting my eyes as I reach down to my leg. Oh no, this can’t be happening again. In practice? Really? Couldn’t be in a game at least? Shit! He got me right where my pads don’t cover, on the side of my knee. And just like that, I see my career going down the drain. The pain is shooting up my leg, and fuck, it hurts. Damn it. No, this wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m supposed to go in! This is my year!
Soon, Markus is beside me, his face full of worry as he throws off his helmet. “Shit, dude, you good?”
I nod as the pain throbs, taking away my breath and causing sweat to drip down my neck. I can see the worry in his eyes, and I know my job. It’s to be strong for my team. So I lie, “Yeah, hit me wrong.”
“You okay, Sinclair?” Coach asks as Justin, one of the trainers, comes to my side.
“Yeah, I think. Got me on the side of the knee,” I say, and I don’t know why I’m lying.
“Can you walk?” Justin asks and I nod because, even if I couldn’t, I would.
“I think so.”
He reaches for me as Coach does the same and they lift me. My leg comes down onto my skate, and thankfully, I can put weight on it, but it does hurt. Badly. It’s throbbing, but when we start moving toward the bench door, I think I might be okay. Thank God. As relief floods through me, I swallow back the puke that wants to escape as my teammates tap their sticks to the ice, wishing me words of encouragement. When I see Markus beside me, I wave him off. “Dude, I’m good. Go practice. If I can’t play, I need you to know how to go on without me.”
He rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”
He takes me from Coach, and they help me out the back of the bench and then into the training room. Climbing up on the table, my legs hangs as the trainer takes my skate and I look to Markus. “Go, dude.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah,” I say with a nod, cringing a bit as Justin removes my sock. “I’m good.”
“I’ll be back.”
“Okay, Arnold,” I tease and he laughs as he heads out of the room. Swallowing hard and flinching as Justin removes my pad, I watch his face. Hoping like hell the look he gave me last year when I broke my clavicle doesn’t appear. While he moves his fingers along the tender area, I hold my breath, my stomach turning as he bends my leg and presses at the area beside my knee.
This was not how I wanted my day to start.
It was supposed to be a good day. I had dinner and Netflix planned for Avery for when she came over tonight after packing. I wanted to cuddle and love on her, but it’s feeling like that might change.
But then he is nodding before he looks up at me. “Just a nasty bruise, I think. Let’s do some X-rays to be sure, but I’m pretty damn confident you’re okay.”
Letting out a long breath, I nod. “Thank God.”
When the X-rays come back to show that everything is good, I’m more than relieved. Shit, that was fucking scary, but that’s hockey. Everything can change in seconds. Hell, that could be applied to life too.
“Take it easy the rest of today and try to keep it iced. We’ll see how you feel tomorrow,” Justin says as Coach comes into the room, Markus behind him.
“Verdict?”
“He’s good, but I still want him to be a game-day decision. He’s going to ice it and stay off it the rest of today and see how he does for the morning skate.”
Coach nods. “Good. All right. Let me know if you need anything, Sinclair.”
“Thanks, Coach.”
As he walks away, Markus leans against the doorjamb. “Jeez, can you be careful and stop getting hurt?”
I laugh. “Um, this was your fault,” I tease and he laughs.
“Hey, you gotta stay out of the way of my awesome shots!” But I know it’s more than that.
I roll my eyes as I shake my head. “Yeah, okay, you’re off.”
He shrugs. “I’m good.”
I don’t believe him, but I have bigger things to worry about. My heart is still pounding in my chest, and I want to say it’s all because of the injury scare.
But I know that’s not completely it.
It’s because Jude texted me while I was in X-rays.
Call me after practice. Make sure you’re alone.
After taking a shower and having my leg rewrapped, I head out of the arena and toward the Bullies’ house. I know I’m stalling and that I need to just call Jude, but first, I make sure to send an email to all my teachers with the note that Justin sent me. As I wobble, I send a text to Avery and then call my mom.
“Hey, honey.”
“Hey, Mom. Listen, don’t freak, but I got hurt at practice.”
�
�Oh, Jesus! Are you okay?” she asks, freaking out. “Are you at the ER? Jesus, my poor baby!”
Rolling my eyes, I throw my hands up. “Mom, I said don’t freak.”
“Baby, do you need me to come take care of you?”
“Mom, I’m fine,” I laugh, but she isn’t buying it.
“I’m gonna call River, and then I’m coming up there.”
“Don’t. I’m fine. The only reason I’m telling you is because I might not play tomorrow. So I don’t want you making the trip up here until I call, okay?”
She doesn’t like that. “Jace Ryan, I’m coming now. I’ll stay with River tonight.”
“Oh, Jesus. Mom!” I cry out, wishing I could scratch that image out of my brain. “No, please don’t do that. If I see your car at his house, I swear, please. Oh my God, I think I’m gonna puke.”
“Jace, I’m a woman who has—”
“Mom, please. Don’t say another word. Don’t come up here, and Lord, please don’t. Just don’t,” I beg, dry heaving. She answers me with laughter and I shake my head. “I’m good, promise. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
She’s hesitant, but I really need to get off the phone with her. “Okay, keep me in the loop. Love you.”
“Will do. Love you,” I say and hang up, knowing that from now on I won’t call her until I know one way or another if I’m playing or not. Ugh, my stomach is still not right. That was just wrong, though I can’t help but wonder when the thought of my mom and my coach together will stop making me sick.
Ew.
When my phone signals a text, I look down to see it’s from Avery, thank goodness.
Avery: Are you all right?! Do I need to leave class??
Me: No babe, I’m good. Just gonna lie down, take some pills, and pass out.
Avery: Are you sure? I can call Stu and tell him I’m not coming in.
Me: No way. It’s your first day, go.
Avery: You sure?
Me: Yes. I’m fine.