“I said, you rape women?”
“I don’t fucking rape anyone,” he roars, slamming his fist down on the desk.
“Then you like the idea of raping them?”
He storms over toward me, but I take a wobbly step back.
“Don’t you touch me, Axel. Don’t you lay your hands upon me, not until you tell me what the hell I just saw.”
“I don’t need to explain anything to you. When are you going to get that?”
I reach out, and I shove at his chest, hard. “You do need to explain things to me. You owe me that.”
“I owe you nothing,” he roars.
“You killed my father. You owe me a goddamned explanation. You owe me the chance to move on without all this baggage.”
“Your fucking father was a scum bag, and he deserved what he got.”
I slap him, hard. He reels backward, and then gathers his footing and lunges towards me. His body hits mine with force, and sends me flying back into the nearby wall. Then he’s pressed against me, one hand flat on my chest, holding me there, and the other above my head, pressing to the wall.
“So help me God, Meadow, you’re walking a fine line.”
“So hurt me, Axel,” I yell. “Hurt me. Make me pay. Do whatever it is you feel the need to do. You’re not going to answer me. You’re not going to give me what I want. So go ahead. I don’t care. Show me what you are. Show me what demons eat you inside. Nothing you do will bother me. You want to be sucked off by a girl who doesn’t want it, huh? Is that what you need to make you feel good inside? Is that what I have to do to get some sort of emotion from you?”
I shove at his chest, and he takes a few steps back. Then I drop to my knees in front of him. I lash out, taking hold of his jeans and yanking them down. He grabs my hair, pulling my head back harshly. “Don’t,” he rasps.
“Try and stop me, Axel.”
He keeps a firm grip in my hair, but I fight him. I take hold of his jeans, and I pull hard, bringing his hips towards me. Then I yank them down. A pained cry leaves his lips when I wrap one hand around his cock, and I tear the condom off before beginning to stroke. The piercings graze my fingers as I move my hands with hard, determined strokes.
“Stop...” he pants.
“But you want this,” I cry, feeling tears well in my eyes. “You won’t let me have you any other way. You want me to fight. You want my mouth on your cock, and you want me to hate it, isn’t that right? Isn’t that how this works? Well, I hate it, Axel, I fucking hate it.”
Then I lower my head, and I wrap my lips around his cock, taking him deep with one movement. His pained hiss fills the room, and his hips buck, filling my mouth even further. Salty tears run down my face, and I can taste them as my head bobs up and down, swallowing him deep into the back of my throat. I choke on a sob as I wrap my fingers around the base of his cock, and begin stroking.
This is so fucked up.
So beautifully fucked up.
And I feel like I belong here, on the ground...like this...broken.
“Meadow,” he practically chokes. “Stop.”
“No,” I cry, taking him deeper, sliding my hands down to cup his firm, warm balls.
I look up, and he’s shaking his head from side to side, agony in his features. He’s hurting. This is a situation he’s been in before, and the idea of that has a mortified sob wrenching from my throat. I slide my hand back further, until I feel the soft flesh between his balls and his ass. I press in there, and his ragged cries grow louder.
“Fuck, please,” he begs, tugging my head back.
I fight against him, and keep my mouth closed over his cock while pressing my finger into that soft skin. I feel his cock swell in my mouth, and with one final press he comes, with a gush that shoots into the back of my throat. Warm salty liquid fills my mouth, and his pained bellows fill the room. Tears burn my eyes as I take all of him, and then I let him go, slumping down onto the floor.
He doesn’t look at me as he turns, and charges out of the room.
What the fuck did I just do?
Did I just break something that was already so broken?
CHAPTER 13
MEADOW
Jump my sweet, accept defeat.
My fingers tremble as I take hold of the door handle. I shove it open, and blink through the blurring in my vision. I need to find Axel. What I did back there...it was so cold...so heartless. I walk down the halls, and my head is spinning from the drugs that were clearly put in my drink earlier. I run into Jax in the hall, and his eyes are frantic. When he sees me, he storms over and grips my shoulders.
“Where the fuck is he?”
What.
“I don’t...”
“Where the fuck is Axel?”
Oh God, he’s gone.
“I don’t...know...”
“He’s gone, we’re on lockdown, and he’s gone. What the fuck happened?”
I ignore him as I step past his body, feeling everything in mine shaking. Where would Axel go? I move through the halls past people like a zombie, keeping my eyes fixed on the door. The minute I step out of it, I hear Colt’s voice thunder through the night. “Meadow just left. Get her back, now!”
Even though my leg is still achy, I pick up into a run, heading for the gate. The moment I reach it, I launch upward, tangling my fingers through the wire. I haul my body up and over, scratching myself on broken bits of wire. I land with a thump on the other side, and I cry out, but I don’t stop. I get to my feet and I begin to run alongside of the road, heading for the bridge and the trees that lie beside it.
I need to find Axel.
I reach the bridge within five minutes, and I begin to cross it but skid to a halt when I see the shadowy form standing over the other side of the railings. Axel. My heart leaps into my throat. Is he going to kill himself? I force my legs to move, even though all they want to do is stay glued to the ground. I reach the railings, and wind begins whipping my hair across my face. I stare at him, and I see the pain in his features, but I know he’s not going to hurt himself.
I can see it in his eyes.
So, I do the only thing I can think of. I climb over the railings, and stand beside him.
He turns, and his eyes widen slightly, but he says nothing.
“You know, jumping off... it helps. It gives you a sense of power, a sense of freedom. It used to scare me, but now, somehow, it soothes me. Jump with me, Axel.”
I reach my hand out, and he turns, staring down at it with confusion in his gaze. I swallow as I peer down at the water below us. My entire body begins to tingle, and a feeling of fear fills my chest. It’s terrifying being up here, but the moment you let go, that fear is replaced with relief. For a moment, just a moment, you feel free. I stare at my blank hand, wondering if he’ll take it.
“You can trust me,” I whisper. “I know I let you down once, but I won’t do it again.”
Just as I’m about to give up and pull it away, he reaches out, and his large fingers curl through mine.
We don’t look at each other. We just step over the side.
Together.
~*~*~*~
MEADOW
The minute we begin to fall, I feel my heart leap into my throat, and fear course through my veins. It’s an addictive feeling, one I’m growing accustomed to. The minute our bodies hit the water, and that all familiar sting radiates over my skin. I feel my heart begin to calm, and a sense of peace washes over me. I surface before Axel, but when he comes up, I hear his rough coughing.
I can see him beneath the moonlight, and I watch with need as his hair falls across his forehead, making him look so ridiculously perfect. He meets my gaze, and I’m really not sure what is going to come next. I hurt him. I pushed all his limits. I expect, more than anything, that he will open his mouth and spit curses at me, making me regret every second of what I did earlier.
Like I don’t already regret it enough.
But he doesn’t yell at me, or spit curses. No...he lunges tow
ards me in the water, and his fingers curl around the back of my head. I gasp, but he smothers it quickly, by pressing his lips over mine. My entire body sinks into him, and a contented sigh leaves my lips. He crushes his lips harder against mine, turning our kiss from demanding to desperate. I reach up and tangle my fingers into his hair, tugging him closer to me.
He begins pulling our bodies backward until we reach the bank. Wrenching his mouth from mine, he lifts me, and places my body on the soft grass. Moments later, he’s beside me, laying me down, pressing his lips to my cool, wet cheeks. He snakes his tongue out, sliding it across and over my flesh before pressing his lips back against mine and kissing me once more. His free hand slides down my side, finding the hem of my shirt.
The moment I feel his fingers slide up underneath it, I groan. His fingers tickle my flesh as he moves them higher, finding the curve of my breasts. With a groan, he cups them, massaging them in his big palms. I whimper, and arch my back, not getting enough of what I need from him. What I’ve needed for so long. He is my undoing, and nothing I tell myself will change that.
I reach up, and slip my own hands under his shirt, finding his hard, wet flesh. I gently press my nails into his skin, and a ragged groan leaves his lips. He takes hold of my pants, and he yanks at them, pulling them down as he pulls his body away from mine. I moan as he moves lower, taking hold of my panties and tearing them off in one quick swipe. Then his hands are on my hips, and he’s using his face to spread my legs, before his mouth finds my pussy.
I drop my head back into the grass, and I arch into him, mewling his name as he slides his tongue up my slit, and then circles it around my sensitive clit. I feel him nip at it with his teeth before removing a hand from my hip, and gently sliding a finger inside my damp opening. Oh, God. Oh, yes. I cry out, and writhe beneath him as he moves his tongue faster in perfect rhythm with his finger.
I’m on the edge.
“Axel,” I breathe. “Oh God.”
He grunts against my flesh, and then his teeth close over my clit, and I come so hard I see white. My entire world is taken away from me for a second, and all I can hear are my own screams of pleasure. Before I’ve even come down from my orgasm, before my body has stopped shaking, he’s over me, his hips between my legs, the rough material of his jeans pressing against my exposed clit.
“Fuck me,” I beg, needing him inside me, needing to feel him pounding into my flesh.
“Fuck,” he growls, reaching down between us, and yanking his jeans down. I feel the moment his cock is freed because the head spears against my opening, giving me a taste of what’s to come.
“Now, Axel,” I breathe. “Fuck. Me.”
He reaches down by my side, and takes my hands, lifting them above my head. I squirm beneath him, loving that he’s restraining me. His chest rumbles with want, and I know he likes it when I fight. So, I continue squirming. I continue tugging my hands in his. He moans, and then he jerks his hips forward, filling my pussy with his sweet, hard cock in one swift movement.
I scream. I can feel every inch of him inside me, and the burning pain that’s shooting into my pelvis is exquisite. Axel hisses through clenched teeth, and he rotates his hips, not pulling out of me, but letting me feel all of him. Oh. Fuck. Yes.
He slowly slides his cock out, and then he plunges back in again, causing my body to slide up the grass just a little. God, I want to touch him, I want to put my hands on those bulging arms, I want to put my lips on his skin, I want to taste him, and feel every part of him.
“Let my hands go,” I beg. “I want to touch you.”
“No,” he grunts, jerking his hips again, and driving his cock deeper.
“Please,” I whimper, tugging my hands again.
“God,” he growls, and I realize my fight is turning him on.
I decide, in that heated moment, it’s turning me on too.
“Let me go,” I plead, squirming beneath him.
“Stop movin’, God, you know I fuckin’ love it.”
I tug hard, and one of my hands comes free. I reach up, and I shove my fingers into his hair, tugging his head back. “Let. Me. Go.”
He lets off a ragged groan, and I watch the muscles in his neck work while his head is on this angle. I lift my head, and press my lips to the bulge in his throat, and he groans. His hips work faster, and I can feel his piercings rubbing every part inside my body. God, I want to come, I need to come. I haven’t had a man fuck me like this before; so raw, so brutal, so completely fucked up.
“Axel,” I murmur, “I need to come.”
“Then come,” he grunts, thrusting his hips harder. “Cricket, come for me.”
Oh God, when he calls me Cricket...it tugs something deep inside. He rotates his hips again, and his jaw is tight and straining. He wants to come, too, but he’s holding back. I feel myself tightening around him, and it seems, in the throes of passion, that I need something to take me over too. “R-r-restrain me,” I rasp.
“What?” he chokes.
“Restrain me!” I cry out, arching into him.
He moves quickly, taking my hands again and shoving them painfully behind my back, which means they’re under my and squashed against the grass. His lips crush down on mine, and like this, I can’t move.
It’s all I need. I come, and I come with force. My screams fill the night, and my body shakes uncontrollably.
Then Axel is pulling out of me, and jerking my body up.
His cock is in my mouth, and I can taste myself, and him, all mixed in one. I groan raggedly, and I take him as deep as I can.
“Fuck, Cricket,” he bellows, as the first warm spurt of come hits my tongue.
I take all of him, relishing the taste of our arousal. He jerks his hips, fingers tangled in my hair, until there’s nothing left. Then slowly, he slides his cock from my mouth, and presses my face against his belly. I can feel his muscles bulging against my cheeks. I take the moment that’s been given to me, and I wrap my arms around him, holding him to me.
“Well, well, well, how fuckin’ sweet.”
I jerk back at the voice that has come from behind us in the darkness. Axel’s entire body stiffens, and he’s on his feet in a split second, jeans up, gun drawn. I scurry about for my pants, and I jerk them on before getting to my feet beside him. He takes my arm, and pulls me behind his body.
“Fuckin’ the daughter of the man you killed? That’s low even for you, Axel. I bet she likes it when you make her fight, doesn’t she?”
Axel growls, and his hand goes to his gun. “What the fuck are you doin’ here, Beast?”
“I’m here to get what’s mine. I believe she’s right behind you.”
“She’s not yours, she’s mine, and if you so much as take a step toward her, I’ll blow your fuckin’ brains out.”
I peer around Axel to see a large man standing with a massive shotgun in his hands. He’s huge, with a bald head, a long beard, and tattoos covering all of his skin. My eyes widen, and I step closer to Axel, suddenly needing to feel safe.
“I wonder what she’ll look like on her knees with her hands tied behind her back, sucking a poor victim’s cock. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Axel? Tell me, does she know all your dirty little secrets? Does she know what you did to them?”
Them?
“I did nothing,” Axel roars, “you piece of shit.”
“Now, now, Axel, don’t lose your temper. We’re just old friends talking.”
“Three seconds, Beast,” Axel warns.
I hear the cocking of a gun, and I stare around again to see Beast pointing the gun at Axel. My heart leaps into my throat, and I gasp.
“Step around him, girl, and come to me. Even if he shoots me, I’ll make sure I blow his brains out before I go down. Come to me, and I won’t hurt him.”
I take a step around Axel.
“Don’t fuckin’ move, Meadow,” he warns.
“Three seconds, and he’s bloody chunks on the ground,” Beast snarls. “One...”
I take another step.
“Meadow!” Axel growls.
“Two.”
I rush toward Beast, just as he raises his gun. It takes me only a second to realize he’s going to shoot Axel anyway, there’s something in his eyes. I lift my fist, and I punch him hard in the throat. He makes a gagging sound, and stumbles backward. I hit him again, cutting off his air supply. He falls to the ground, and wheezes, panting for air. Axel turns his gun on him, and shoots him in the leg.
“Why don’t you just kill me here and now?” Beast roars through heavy pants.
Axel takes my arm, and begins pulling me away. “Because you’re going to suffer first. I’ll be back for you, you fucking bastard.”
Axel pulls me again, and we run up the bank and towards the road. The wind whips against my skin, and I feel my body trembling with cold. We don’t say anything the entire way back to the compound; I don’t even know why Axel left Beast there. It just gives me more confirmation that he needs to make Beast pay, and shooting him like that, with no fight, isn’t the way he wants this to end.
That frightens me.
As soon as we step back into the compound, Axel turns to me, his eyes scanning my face.
“Where the hell did you learn to throat-punch?”
I meet his eyes dead on. “I’ve learned a lot. I’ve had a badass biker chasing me for over a year.”
For the first time in the years since darkness consumed Axel’s life, I see him smile.
And it’s beautiful.
~*~*~*~
MEADOW
I sleep for two solid days after that, exhausted both physically and mentally. I can’t function without rest, and Axel has given me what I need for showers, so I finally feel refreshed.
I wake on the morning of day three to the sun shining through and into my eyes. I groan and stretch, noticing that the pain in my leg has finally faded to nearly nothing. I peer around the empty room, and see the space beside me hasn’t been slept in.
Which means Axel hasn’t come back in here.
He’s been avoiding me once again, and I won’t lie and say I’m not frustrated by that. After what happened at the bridge the other night, I thought we might have broken some ice, but it turns out nothing has changed. He’s still as angry as he was before, but I will give it to him—he’s not snapping at me...as much. I close my eyes for a moment, knowing I should just leave, but also knowing that my heart isn’t going to allow that.
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