Without Regret

by Aubrey Bondurant

  Perhaps she was skittish due to the working arrangement. Considering how professional she acted, maybe she had qualms about crossing that line. Hell, this wasn’t college, and she wasn’t a girl with whom I was simply sharing classes, so perhaps I needed to use more caution myself.

  I’d hoped getting to know her would let the attraction wane. It was inevitable an initial intrigue would wear off, but with her this wasn’t the case. I could argue the attraction remained because of the challenge, but I wasn’t that type of guy. I think it was more that I found she wasn’t like other girls. She wasn’t easy to get to know, but I sensed something deeply guarded there that would be worth the wait.

  Unless, of course, she’d been telling the truth about me not being her type. But then what was her type? Perhaps it was time I found out. It wasn’t as though I’d try to be someone I wasn’t—I was comfortable in my own skin—but I was beyond curious. And there was nobody better for this task of discovery than my sister.

  After the barbeque, she’d gone out with friends who now lived in the area. When she returned, sometime after eleven, I went to join her in the kitchen, hoisting myself onto the counter top while she took a bottle of water from the fridge.

  “How was your night?” I asked.

  She sighed. “Okay. But I think I need new friends.”

  All thoughts of Emma were swept to the side by the sad tone in my sister’s voice. I’d hoped nights out with her friends would help. “Why do you say that?”

  “Do you think I’m superficial?”

  Uh-oh. She was asking a question in answer to a question. Not a good sign when it came to women. “No, of course I don’t.” She might be a bit spoiled, but she was also kind-hearted, loyal, and sweet.

  “I think I might’ve been a bit self-centered for the last few years.”

  “Avery, you’re young. Everyone in college is self-absorbed. Hell, if there’s an age to do it, that’s a good time. What’s this truly about?”

  She leaned against the wall. “I’m not sure. Guess I’m just reevaluating friendships.”

  Considering she and her ex-fiancé, Edward, shared a large circle of friends, and he’d cheated with her best friend, I wasn’t surprised by this statement. “Then reevaluate who you want in your life. Happens every few years as people go their separate ways.”

  “But you still keep in touch with your best friend from years ago.”

  This was true. Mason and I had been close since our freshman year of college. Even while he’d been in the Marine Corps traveling the world, we’d kept in touch. In a million years, I couldn’t imagine him ever betraying me the way Avery’s best friend had betrayed her. It had been a double betrayal.

  “You okay?” It killed me that I couldn’t simply make this breakup better for her. She’d gone from posting wedding ideas on Pinterest last week to the great unknown, something I knew would be scary for her.

  “I will be. I just miss Mom.”

  Shit. Of all things for her to say, that got me the most. As hard as our mother’s death had hit me, I knew it had hit Avery harder. What twelve-year-old girl should have to bury her mother? Then with me leaving for college a year later—I knew things couldn’t have been easy for her.

  “Me, too. She’d be proud of you, though.”

  Her expression was dubious. “For what?”

  “For giving Edward the boot. You deserved better, you know.”

  She smiled sadly. “I do know. But it makes me feel good to have a reminder. Thanks. How was your night?”

  “Busy with work.” I’d gone over the dozen deals Simon and I had already walked through this week. Every day, I’d been learning more. “But on a personal note, I kind of have a favor to ask.”

  ***

  One hour later, near midnight, my sister flopped on the sofa beside me, her recon mission evidently completed.

  “Nothing. No Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest account. I can’t find Emma online anywhere, with the exception of the company website, and that only gives her name. No picture. I mean how does a woman these days not have a Facebook account or, at the very least, Instagram?”

  My sister was the queen of social media, and I’d hoped she might be able to do some reconnaissance for me. “Yeah, it’s a real tragedy.”

  “Maybe she’s hiding from the law. Or she’s a spy. Oh, my God, she could be a British operative. What do they call it over there—MI8? That would be really cool.”

  Leave it to Avery to let her imagination get away with her. However, I did find it strange Emma didn’t have anything online. Even I had a LinkedIn profile. “It’s MI6. And I don’t think so. Thanks for checking.”

  “You like her. Like, like her like her.”

  Jesus, that was a lot of likes in one sentence. “Maybe, but do me a favor and don’t tell her. Okay?”

  She flashed me a grin, making me already regret confiding in her.

  ***

  On Sunday morning I went to the gym without any agenda about seeing Emma. Or so I told myself. I punished my body through a five-mile run and then did a heavy set of weights, needing the burn. I remained in the zone while I pulled back into my apartment building’s lot, ran up the stairs, and grabbed Rufus for a walk. So much so that I didn’t notice Emma outside until she called out a greeting.

  “Good morning.” She was walking towards me in her workout attire, coming from the parking lot. She must’ve just returned from the gym, too. I’d been so involved in my workout I had barely noticed anyone there.

  “Hey. Good morning to you.”

  Sweat continued to run down my face. Without thinking, I lifted up my T-shirt and wiped my brow with it. I didn’t miss the way her gaze lingered on my six-pack. Perhaps the key to finding out what type of guy she liked was through observing her reaction to such inadvertent moves.

  “Are you returning from the gym?” I asked.

  “Yeah. I saw you there, but you seemed really into your workout.”

  I smiled, happy it hadn’t appeared I was there for her. “I was.” I picked up the drooly ball my dog had returned and threw it again into the large field beside the parking lot. “Now it’s time for Rufus to get his. Did you do one of the classes?”

  “Yes. I try to go four times a week. Today was bootcamp class. I think I’ll be sore tomorrow.”

  I tried not to think of those delectable places in which she would feel it, such as her magnificent ass. “I’ll be sore as well. Leg day today.”

  Rufus came up and lay down in front of me, panting profusely, his tell that he was tired from fetching the ball.

  “I think you broke your dog.”

  I laughed. “Nah. He’s young. But it doesn’t take much to tire out a big dog like him. Plus, I think he’s still a bit tuckered from playing with Cooper yesterday.”

  “I bet. Thanks for the assist in operation ring discovery.”

  I laughed. “You’re welcome. Should’ve seen your expression when I launched into my story.”

  A smile spread over her face. “It was impressive to see the conversation go from Pooparoomba to a full-out discussion about rings. You’ll have to thank your sister for me.”

  “I definitely will.”

  She was eyeing Rufus curiously.

  “Do you want to try petting him?”

  She bit her lip. The action did nothing to dim her hot factor. “Uh. Maybe.”

  I tried not to grin since I knew this was a big deal for her. “Come around here to his back and touch him there. He loves his back and stomach scratched. Then you won’t have to deal with the drooly part.”

  “Are you positive he won’t bite?”

  “Absolutely. He’s a big love.” Of course, if he was threatened or thought I was, it would be a different story. But I knew without a doubt he’d be good to her.

  She moved slowly, never letting her wary gaze leave him as he panted away. “Was he ever small?”

  I chuckled. “I’m sure at some point he was, but he was about eighteen months old and full grown w
hen I rescued him.”

  “Rescued?”

  “Yeah. Poor guy was bought as a puppy and then neglected by some jackass. When I saw him at the shelter for the first time, he was skin and bones. I took him home to foster and fatten him up, but then fell in love and had to keep him. I feel mildly guilty about that since I do travel some, but I put him in a doggie retreat when I’m gone.”

  Finally kneeling down to where he was lying, she reached a tentative hand out. She came within inches but didn’t make contact.

  “Talk to him. He’s a sucker for a female British accent.”

  Her lips twitched as though she was trying not to laugh. I could see her relax a bit, which was what I’d been hoping for.

  “Good lad. Good dog. Don’t go biting my face off. Poor thing. Can’t believe someone didn’t take care of you.” Finally, her fingers brushed softly over his brindle coat. Hesitant at first, she finally put all five fingers on him, taking a deep breath when he simply lay further down and groaned with what seemed to be pure happiness.

  Lucky fucking dog.

  When she smiled up at me as if I’d handed her the greatest gift in the world, I realized I was in serious trouble with this girl. This was more than an infatuation; I was starting to develop feelings. This was completely and totally stupid considering I’d just met her, and besides, it was clear she didn’t return the sentiment.

  “See? He’s loving it. Careful, or you’ll have him wanting to come over all the time.”

  She petted him one last time before standing up. “Baby steps. But thank you. I mean to him and to you for letting me conquer my fear.”

  “It was my pleasure.”

  We both looked up as my sister called out. She was coming down the steps towards us. “Oh, good, Emma. I’m so glad you’re home. I need your help.”

  I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing. Suddenly, Emma appeared to want rescue. But she was a good sport with my sister despite looking suspicious. She wasn’t alone in the sentiment. I also wondered what Avery was up to.

  “Hello. What do you need help with?”

  “Well, I’m traveling back home to Houston tomorrow morning, and I have a party I’m attending next weekend. I know my ex will be there. I need help in picking out the perfect dress to make him sorry. Do you have any time to go shopping this afternoon?”

  Something told me Avery was upping her recon mission. I was both impressed and a bit hesitant to have her spend time with Emma. Hopefully, my sister could keep a secret.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Emma

  Why had I agreed to this shopping trip with Avery? Oh, yes, because I hoped to help her find the perfect fuck-you-for-cheating dress for when she saw her ex next weekend.

  Not that Avery was a complete snooze as we embarked on our retail expedition at one of the Dallas area’s mega malls a few miles away. She was quite entertaining as we went from store to store. Unlike her first impression, when she’d been rude, she was very nice to every person we came across. I guess that proved everyone had a bad day once in a while. We ended up finding the perfect red dress, something which showed enough skin to be sexy while remaining classy, and some nude heels that looked amazing with it. I even picked up a few things. Finished with our task, we kept shopping just for fun on our way towards the car.

  “So you and my brother. Do you like him or like, like him, or don’t want that type of thing since you’re working together?”

  Bloody hell, that was a lot of likes in a sentence. We were in Sephora looking at makeup, and it seemed impossible to avoid answering her question.

  “I hardly know your brother. Since we are working together, I hope I like him, singular and without further agenda.” Since I was reasonably sure anything I shared with her would make its way back to Trevor, I wanted to be clear.

  “That’s cool. Probably a different situation for him from the usual since women normally fall all over themselves for him. My girlfriends especially. So why aren’t you? Are you a lesbian? I mean not that I’m not cool with it. I may be from a red state, but I’m pretty liberal.”

  I had a clue she was talking about American politics, but it didn’t completely make sense. “Nope. Not a lesbian, but your brother isn’t my type.”

  She crinkled her perfect little button nose. “What’s your type, then?”

  I had an affinity for tattoos and piercings, but my preference was more about finding someone who wouldn’t get attached. No feelings and definitely no nice guys. Nice guys wouldn’t understand a girl like me who sought one-night stands with no strings, no phone numbers exchanged, and definitely no caring words. Nice guys would balk at the type of things I desired in the bedroom.

  “Nope. It’s not something I’m talking about. Let’s just say it’s not your brother and leave it at that.”

  She grinned. “Fair enough.”

  “How about we talk about this party you’re attending instead and focus on what you should say or do?”

  She took a deep breath. “Sounds like a plan.”

  ***

  “Will your sister be okay at the party next week with her ex?” I lobbed this question out at Trevor on Monday night after work. He was walking Rufus outside when I pulled into my parking space. Although I hardly knew Avery, I could tell she was still raw from the breakup. Somewhere along the line, despite trying to avoid such thoughts, Avery’s problems had stayed on my mind the rest of the weekend, and I’d found myself caring.

  He smiled, having changed over from his suit. He’d been in the office earlier today, wrapped up in meetings the entire time. I’d heard from Simon he was really putting in the effort and taking it seriously, trying to learn as much as he could.

  “I told her to skip the party and not see her ex, but she’s hell-bent on making a statement.”

  I would be, too, but then, I wasn’t as nice or tenderhearted as his younger sister. Meanwhile, I eyed Rufus warily. I wasn’t willing to sacrifice another designer dress to his drool, but I had softened toward him after hearing about his rough start. Even so, I planned to keep a ten-foot radius head-splatter zone just in case.

  “But will it result in her shedding a bucket of tears? Will he show up with her ex-best friend on his arm and torment her?” Men were assholes, so I could see him doing that.

  “If he does, then I’ll have an issue. I already couldn’t stand the guy, and I’m trying to stay out of their business when it comes to the breakup, but if he thinks he can disrespect her in that way, then he and I will have words.”

  His alpha tone left no doubt, and for a moment I was shocked. I hadn’t expected a fierce side to him. But his loyalty to his sister was admirable.

  “Hopefully, it won’t happen. She left for the airport this morning in a much better state than how she arrived over a week ago. She said she appreciated you helping her yesterday with the dress.”

  “Why was she getting married so young?” Damn, I hadn’t meant to ask that question. Not only was it none of my business, but also it was prolonging a personal conversation with Trevor.

  He took the question in stride. “I thought the same thing, but she’d been with the asshole since she was fourteen, and after graduating college, she probably thought it was the next logical step. But now I think she’s planning to go for her master’s degree. Maybe this time she’ll enjoy some college life instead of trying to be the perfect wife and planning out her house colors.”

  The very thought of that type of life gave me hives.

  “I’m sure losing our mother when she was twelve had a lot to do with it, too. My father is a good man and loves her dearly, but my sister craves the homey touch that only a mother can truly bring to a family.”

  I wouldn’t know. And talking about something so personal was putting me off-kilter. I never knew what to say in these situations, especially since I didn’t want to come across as unsympathetic. “Um, well, I hope she had a safe trip home.”

  I walked past him then, ready to go on up to my apartment, eat my salad wi
th my glass of wine, and watch Game of Thrones on my DVR.

  “You want to come over? Without my sister staying there, it’s quiet. And I’m grilling steaks. Not hitting on you; it’s just that temporary housing is kind of depressing. Don’t you think?”

  Actually, I thought the opposite. Temporary housing was safe. Nothing to get attached to. Nothing to give you the impression it was permanent. Simply a place to stay in the meantime.

  “Sorry, I have plans, but maybe some other time.” Now, why did I have to go and leave the door open like that? I should’ve simply said no. I was coming to realize friendship with Trevor could be a slippery slope into dangerous territory.

  He gave me an easy smile. “Next time, then. Have a good night.”

  “Yeah, you, too.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  Trevor

  Damn. I’d come on too strong. Or desperate was more like it. When was the last time I had to work this hard to get a female’s attention? That would be never. Not that I had an inflated ego over the fact, but it was true. So Emma was putting a serious dent in my self-confidence. As I walked back to my apartment after our conversation by the parking lot, I knew, logically, that I needed to leave it alone and stop asking her out. Even as a friend.

  Nonlogically, I couldn’t help thinking about all the times I’d catch her eye in the office or that she’d stop typing when she heard me talking. Not that I always had a view of her at her desk, but if my door was open and she was seated at her computer and I leaned about thirty degrees to my right, I did. Jesus. I was pathetic. I needed to accept she simply wasn’t feeling what I was. Period.

  I’d have to settle for friendship and hopefully a good working relationship. Easier said than done, though.

  The next morning, I showed up bright and early at the office. Simon had taken the day off, but I had a busy agenda researching a company he’d told me about that was a potential for purchase. I needed to put together the presentation and approach. This was my first test, and I had every intention of passing with flying colors.