Without Regret

by Aubrey Bondurant

  She threw her head back while, during the next few minutes, I made her come. But as I’d been about to make her go for number two, she pulled me up, taking my lips in a kiss which rocked my world.

  “You enjoy the taste of yourself on my lips?”

  “Yes.”

  I broke away reluctantly, helping her peel her pants and underwear from her ankles. Then I lifted her shirt to leave her only in her bra. One more flick, and she was completely naked. “Come here.”

  I led her over to the sofa, where I turned her around so her ass was to me, and then folded her over the back. My palms ran over her backside. “Sugar is the name I’ll think of when I’m eating your pussy, but beautiful is what I’ll call this. You waiting for me to have you rough and dirty over the couch. Anticipating when I shove deep inside of you, pull your hair, and the sound of slapping skin on skin fills the room.”

  She moaned, reaching down to touch herself. The action was both erotic and innately sexy, telling me my words had her that turned on. “No, you don’t, beautiful. You wait for me.”

  I made quick work out of grabbing a condom from a bag on my counter, something I’d made sure to pick up at the grocery store along with the food. I didn’t bother with stripping but simply unbuckled my jeans and sheathed myself in the condom. There was something more primal about not taking the time to undress.

  My fingers found her soaked. My words and the anticipation had clearly done the trick. “You ready?”

  My hands gripped her hips while my knee spread her legs further apart.

  “Yes. Fuck me. Fuck me now.”

  I could’ve teased her, but plenty of time for that later. Right now, I needed the explosion. I lined myself up to her opening, pushing the head in slightly and trying to calm my own desire. Last thing I wanted was to blow my load two pumps in. Once I felt prepared, I sank into heaven on one stroke. The walls of her pussy clamped around me like a glove.

  “Christ, Emma.”

  “More. I need more.”

  Not one to disappoint, I pulled almost all the way out before slamming home. “Beautiful.” Placing my hand at the small of her back, I started my rhythm. Normally, I would’ve eased a woman into it, knowing I was so deep, but I could sense she was ready. Or if she wasn’t, she didn’t want to be. So I thrust harder. Long, short, grinding, I set my pace.

  Because I knew she’d get off on it, I gathered her hair, pulling it back and her head with it. Needing the contact with her lips, I turned her neck, so I could nip at her lips before starting to fuck her.

  “Oh, God, oh, God. Yes, right there.”

  A woman who knew what she wanted and was vocal about it had to be the biggest turn-on of all. Then watching as her entire body spasmed with me inside was nirvana. The sensation that came with her orgasm around my cock was absolutely divine.

  But I wasn’t done. While she came down from her climax, still shaking and contracting around me, I slowed my strokes so I could last for one more. Reaching around, I rubbed her clit.

  “Too much. It’s too much,” she murmured into the cushions after I let her hair go.

  “One more name for today. It’s honey. Whenever I call you honey, you’re going to think of me taking some of your sweet sugar—” I swiped some of the wetness and moved it back to her pucker. “And easing my finger in here. Or perhaps a plug at some point, and eventually you’ll take my cock there.”

  She let out a mewl of pleasure at the contact. While her body adjusted to the intrusion, I picked up my pace. Her loud breathing filled the room, and with a hoarse scream, she came the second time around. I quickly followed.

  After withdrawing slowly, I gave her lower back a kiss and then helped her stand. I was taking off the condom and pulling my jeans on when I realized she’d turned around and was watching me warily.

  I held out my hand. “Come on. Let’s eat.”

  ***

  After devouring the sandwiches I’d made, we lay in my king-sized bed with her head on my chest, watching the sunset out the big picture window. I could already sense her mind working overtime. Satisfying her body would quiet it for a little while but not for long. However, her words to me were unexpected.

  “The man Tom mentioned at dinner last night who got the tattoo for me. He was married. I found out after we’d slept together. Told him if he got a tattoo on his shoulder of a Chinese symbol I’d printed out, I’d continue to be his side piece. I was nineteen years old, and it was immature.”

  “What did the symbol mean?”

  “Unfaithful.”

  I burst out laughing and propped up so I could see her face. My reaction appeared to wash instant relief over her. “And you didn’t sleep with him after that?”

  She shook her head, smiling. “Nope. Never. He wasn’t happy about my decision. Then again, I’m certain his wife and kids wouldn’t have been happy if I’d chosen otherwise.”

  “How does Tom know about it?”

  She hesitated. “Unfortunately, there was a scene in the office in New York where I was working the receptionist desk. The guy confronted me. It got loud and ugly. I’m not proud of that situation. I may be a bitch sometimes, but I’m not cruel. I suppose my permanent inked retribution for a cheater is debatable.”

  “Did he break your heart, this guy with the tattoo?” I wondered if this was why she had a tough time with relationships.

  “No. It was never serious. But he hurt my pride, not to mention my trust.”

  It explained why she was wary although I sensed there was more to the story. “Tom is a jackass for having brought it up.”

  “Yes, he is. We all have to work together, but I would caution you to be careful with him.”

  “I’d gathered that before I even met him. I get he’s Phillip’s nephew, but if he’s such an ass, why does Phillip keep him around?”

  She shrugged. “My guess is Tom has something on him. Or maybe Phillip’s simply loyal to family.”

  “Why didn’t you defend yourself about the tattoo at dinner when he brought it up? Why let me believe the worst?” I could already guess the answer, but I wanted to hear it from her.

  Her sigh filled the room. “I don’t do relationships. I figured the best way to ensure you’d keep your distance was if you believed the worst.”

  I guessed there was a lot more she wasn’t telling me, but since we’d already made so much progress, I didn’t want to push. “What does your ink mean?” I was curious about the small Chinese character on her hip.

  She appeared surprised I’d noticed it. “Peace or something like that.”

  One more piece of the enigma making up Emma. I knew for certain she wouldn’t have gotten anything permanent without knowing exactly what it was. But she wasn’t ready to tell me yet, and I needed to be patient.

  “When did you get yours?” she asked.

  “After college. My best friend Mason was home from Iraq, and we spent a the weekend in Austin and both got our first tattoos. I’d love to say mine had some deeper meaning, but honestly, I just thought it looked cool.”

  Her fingers slid over the design. “It’s good work. And the piercing?”

  “Lost a bet for fantasy football and had to get something pierced. Didn’t mind it as much as I thought I would, and the ladies—” I immediately stopped what I’d been about to say.

  She laughed. “Enjoyed it, I’m sure.”

  “Something like that.” Nothing like inadvertently bringing up other women in bed. But for some reason, my slip-up seemed to relax her. Almost as if it emphasized this wasn’t serious. One step forward. Two steps back.

  “So, um, I’d better get going.”

  I captured her wrist, giving the inside of it a quick kiss. “What’s the hurry?”

  She leveled her gaze at me. “This isn’t the type of thing where we’re going to be spending the night, sleeping, and waking up together.”

  I smirked, reaching both of our fingers down to her wet center and enjoying the catch of her breath. “I don’t recall sayi
ng anything about sleeping, sugar.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Emma

  One moment I was sound asleep. The next, suddenly, I was abruptly awakened by something wet and warm in my face. I opened my eyes in time to see my next assault by the giant dog tongue of an exuberant mastiff.

  “God, Rufus. Bloody stop. So gross.” I wiped my hands over my face, groaning at the slimy kiss he’d given me but smiling anyway because of his dopey face and excitability. It was morning, and Rufus clearly needed out.

  Trevor’s laughter filled the room as he quickly got out of bed. “Come on, big guy. I’ll let you out. Sorry, Em. He doesn’t have very good manners when it comes to bed guests.”

  I frowned at the reference that I wasn’t the only one he’d done this with.

  As if Trevor had read my mind, he paused while slipping on athletic pants and a T-shirt in order to lean over and plant a kiss on my cheek. “I meant he hasn’t dealt with anyone staying over in my bed before.”

  Oh. I watched him whisk Rufus outside before realizing it was indeed morning. Shit. How had this happened a second time? I hadn’t meant to spend the night, but then we’d gotten busy, and I’d lost all cognitive ability. The man had stamina in spades. But I’d broken my rules with him by staying the night.

  I searched quickly for my clothing and was almost fully dressed when he walked back in through the door.

  “It’s only five am,” he offered up.

  I finished slipping on my shoes and glanced up to see him leaning against the wall of the bedroom watching me. “I need to, um, shower and get to the gym and stuff.” It was lame, but I was starting to panic.

  “Okay. Sorry for the rude awakening. I would’ve preferred a better way of starting the morning.”

  My heart started to beat faster at the thought. He’d made me insatiable. Giving Rufus a pat, I scooted past the both of them but then stopped with a thought. “Today at the office, it won’t be weird, right?”

  “I don’t see why it would be.”

  I swallowed hard. The multitude of times he’d made me come over the last two days constituted plenty of reasons it could be, but I decided to hope for the best.

  ***

  The gym didn’t happen. Probably because I’d already received a hell of a workout, leaving me sore in places the gym’s body pump class didn’t target. Plus, I’d only gotten a couple hours of sleep. Not that I was complaining.

  Not for the first time, I wondered if Trevor was always this alpha in the bedroom or if he was accommodating what he thought I needed. Considering how natural it had felt to be with him, I assumed the first. Just went to show never to judge a book by its cover.

  What had thrown me the most was how much I’d been turned on by his actions. Beautiful, honey, sugar. How had he managed to make flowery words conjure up dirty highlight reels? Surprisingly, his compliments had turned me on in a way with which I wasn’t familiar.

  Yes, I had issues. I’m sure a therapist would have a field day examining why I enjoyed one-night stands who wanted it quick and dirty and who typically degraded me with names like slut or whore. Self-deprecation at its finest. The whole thing propelled me into an emotional tailspin that could last for weeks.

  Over the years, I’d never let on anything about this to Simon or anyone else. My preferences were probably why I could only manage a couple sexual encounters a year. Wanting the high, but knowing the low was right behind it. The main thing was it kept me safe from relationship land. There were no expectations I might become attached, or get set up for the rejection which would inevitably come if I had. I’d fallen into this pattern because it reemphasized my misgivings about relationships. If I could feel that horrible after one night, then why the hell would I want more?

  But with Trevor, it had been different. He’d been able to get me off physically without having to resort to those types of things. Nor had he pushed me away in horror when I’d confided my dirty secret to him about desiring them. Instead, he’d turned my debasing demands on their head and left me wanting more of his way.

  This meant I was in unfamiliar territory. It left me both unsettled and unexpectedly high. Remarkably, that high wasn’t abating. It was the strangest thing. Of course, I had reservations, considering he was someone I worked with, but I experienced no self-loathing or any hit to my self-esteem regarding what had happened with him.

  Luckily, Simon was in his office on a call when the object of my thoughts walked through the main office doors. God, he looked good in his suit. Initially, I might have thought he was not my type, but now that I had intimate knowledge of the body beneath that suit, I was hard pressed to continue thinking that.

  “Good morning, Emma.”

  My heart pounded in my chest merely from the sound of his voice saying my name. “Good morning.”

  “How was your night? Any jet lag?”

  I had to keep myself from smiling. Anyone overhearing would think it was a simple conversation, but I could see the twinkle in his eye. “My evening was good. And jet lag isn’t the reason I’m tired.”

  Jesus. I would’ve pounced all over him for an innuendo like that in the office, but then I went and made one myself. What in the hell was happening to me? I wasn’t this girl who mixed business and pleasure.

  He lifted a brow, about to respond, when Simon came out from his office.

  “Hello, Trevor.”

  “Good morning.”

  “Ready to start the pre-work on your very first possible acquisition?”

  “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  I watched as both men walked into the conference room, trying in vain not to stare at Trevor’s ass.

  ***

  I went to the gym after work. A workout was not only a mechanism for keeping my ass in shape, but it also allowed me to stow my inner bitch. The one that tended to creep out when I was feeling unsettled. After exhausting myself with a spin class, I drove home. I was unable to prevent myself from searching for Trevor’s truck in the lot. When I saw it parked in his spot, I was a mixture of excited he was home and annoyed at myself for being so damn—well, excited.

  I halfway expected he might come out to greet me, but no such luck. Since when had I become so used to his ‘random walks of Rufus’? And why was it annoying me that he was no longer trying to accidentally run into me? Had he finished the chase? Gotten his prize, and now needn’t bother to put in the effort? Even recognizing I was being irrational didn’t stop me from feeling in a huff about it.

  I’d been the one to say I didn’t do relationships, and now I was getting exactly what I’d said I’d wanted. So why was it making me feel so empty?

  Fuck. This is exactly why I avoided this type of thing, where the next day I had to see the person I’d slept with. Despite telling him and myself I wouldn’t get attached, I was already missing his stupid face.

  The knock on my door after I’d been home ten minutes had me taking a deep breath. The last thing I wanted was for him to see I was upset. Especially since I wouldn’t be able to give him a comfortable explanation.

  “Hey,” I greeted, only to have any other words die on my lips. Because there he was, handsome smile, bottle of champagne, and two glasses in hand.

  “Hey, yourself. I came by earlier, but you weren’t home.”

  “Oh. I was at the gym.”

  “Can I come in?”

  I’d been standing there dumbfounded. “Yes. Sorry. Um, I take it with the champagne, we’re celebrating something?”

  He grinned, landing a kiss on my lips as if he’d done it a thousand times. “You bet. We’re about to embark on my first deal, and I got a kudos today from Simon that I was ready. Which, if I’m being honest, is both exciting and daunting.”

  Wait. So what part was worth celebrating? I wasn’t trying to be a bitch, but normally I reserved a celebration for the end goal, not the beginning. He must’ve read my thoughts on my face.

  “My mother always used to say to celebrate the small things within the journey
because endings are over too quickly.”

  It was the first time I’d seen him show any insecurity whatsoever. And far be it from me to rain on his parade. Besides, he’d said the adage so sweetly, and now I remembered he’d said something about having lost his mother. “I’d say that’s good advice. So congratulations. Is it Houston we’re traveling to?”

  He went to my kitchen to set the glasses down on my counter and pour. “Yes. Sorry it doesn’t get you out of the Lone Star State.”

  “It’s okay.” Suddenly I wasn’t quite so anxious to leave the state of Texas, which was weird.

  He handed me the glass of bubbly and held out his own.

  “To my first acquisition. May I not have to lay anyone off.”

  I clinked my glass to his and realized his toast was revealing. “You going to be okay if you have to?”

  “I have to be as it’s an unfortunate part of the job. I realize it may make me sound twelve to say this, but I have something to prove to my father. Big shoes and all that.”

  “I’m sure it’s natural.” Not that I would know. I don’t think anyone had ever been proud of me. While growing up, I hadn’t had any expectations of myself other than finding my next meal and getting the hell out of the foster care system. I literally shook the thought from my head, not wanting to feel selfish. This was his journey, not mine. “You should be proud. You’ve caught on quickly.”

  I went over and put my arms around him, enjoying the look of surprise on his face as I did so. Yeah, clearly I could be sweet, and this felt—well, it felt nice. Especially when he simply held me there. No copping a feel, nothing sexual, just pure comfort without agenda.

  “Did you eat?”

  He stepped back, cupping my chin. “Not yet. How about I take you out for a proper celebration.”

  “Like a date?”

  Instead of picking up on my panicked words, he shrugged. “Call it whatever you want. It’s two people eating dinner together and having a cocktail or two while conversating outside of the bedroom.”

  Right. I could do that. “Sure. Let me get cleaned up.”