by Anna B. Doe
Guess we were more alike than either of us thought.
“That poor girl.” Her hand lands on mine, and this time I let her give me a firm squeeze. “What are you going to do?”
What really? Is there even anything I can do? I don’t think there is a way to tell your girlfriend that your father was the one who took everything from her. Her family. Her dreams. Her future. No way to ease that blow or make it right.
“I have no idea.”
But I’ll have to figure it out before somehow she figures it out herself.
I didn’t stay long after that. I needed some time to think, so I sat back in my car and drove back to campus, this time much slower because the snow had started to fall and the road was slippery. But more than that, I just wanted to be alone. I needed to think.
I knew I couldn’t keep this from Callie. She didn’t try to find out what exactly happened with the other driver or who it was, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t want to do it at some point. I couldn’t live with that secret hanging over my head, just waiting for the ax to drop.
But how do you do it? How do you tell somebody you love that your flesh and blood took away hers? Because I do love her. Out of all the uncertainties in my life, I know this for sure. I’m in love with Callie Stewart. Hell, for all I know, I never stopped loving her, just pushed my feelings to the back hoping they would go away. But they didn’t. I’m not sure if they ever would.
A loud knock on the window startles me. I turn around to see Yasmin staring at me, arms crossed over her chest, scarf wrapped around her neck and half her face.
I roll down the window, and a blast of cold air enters the cabin making me shiver.
I should have gone home, but I couldn’t deal with Nix or anybody else asking me questions I wasn’t ready to answer, so instead I drove to Callie’s dorm. Although I couldn’t bring myself to call her to let me in, just knowing she was close gave me some semblance of peace.
“Are you sure you’re not a stalker?”
“Hey, yourself, Yas,” I say dully, ignoring her question. “I’m fine. How are you doing?”
“I would be doing much better if we didn’t have a stalker lurking around.”
“I’m not lurking around. I was out of town and just got back to campus. I wasn’t sure if Callie was still up.”
“There is this thing called phones…”
“I’m well aware.”
Yasmin gives me a long look followed by a sigh. “Do you want to come in?”
I should turn around and go back to my own place, it would be for the best. Stay away from Callie until I figure out how to tell her, but I didn’t want to. I needed to hold her because maybe soon I won’t get the chance.
Closing the window, I get out of the car and lock it. Without another word, we go toward the dorm and climb inside.
The room is dark when we enter, all I can see is Callie’s sleeping form in the bed. Quietly, we enter inside. I toe off my shoes, take off my jacket and shirt before laying down next to her. She stirs in her sleep, mumbling something.
“Shh…” I whisper. Pushing golden strands out of her face, I press my lips against her forehead.
“Hayden?”
“I’m here, now sleep.”
She murmurs her agreement and turns around in my arms. Sighing constantly she falls back asleep, and I hold her tight hoping it’s not the last time.
Chapter Forty-Seven
HAYDEN
Nixon elbows me, demanding my attention. Signing, I pull the headphones off my head. “What?”
He gives me a thoughtful glance, like he’s trying to figure me out but can’t. With all the last-minute preparations and revisions for the rivalry game, we didn’t get much chance to talk after I ditched the team night to go see Grams, and I preferred it that way. If—no, not if, when—I tell somebody what happened, it’ll be Callie. Not that I know how. But now’s not the time to think about that. Later. When all this is done, then I’ll find a way to deal with the shit show that’s our life.
“You ready to win this shit?”
“As I’ll ever be,” I grunt, working on my shoulder pads. Figuring out how to tell Callie will have to wait for a little bit. We have a game to win, and I can’t risk being distracted, not right now. Too much is on the line. Both playoffs and my pride. The only positive thing about this is that both Ben and I play on the offense, which means we won’t get a chance to butt heads on the field. Doesn’t mean, however, that the win will be any less sweet.
“Listen up, boys!” Coach claps loudly until we all settle down. His serious eyes sweep the room making sure to take in every one of us. “This is the moment we’ve been waiting for. You have all it takes to win, just keep your heads cool and eyes open. When you see an opening, take it. Their quarterback is good, but the defense has a lot to be desired. Let’s get out there and show them who the winners are!”
Everybody hollers in agreement. We’re so loud the whole room is shaking.
“You’ve got five minutes and then it’s game time.”
Grabbing my jersey, I pull it over my head.
“You heard Coach, guys,” Emmett yells over the last-minute commotion. “Suit up and then let’s kick some asses.”
Everybody hurries, going through their final prep. I shove my stuff back into the locker and pick up my helmet. The locker room looks even more crowded when everybody is dressed for the game. Somebody turned on the music now that the coach’s speech was done, so I let the hard bass pump me up for the kickoff.
Shortly after, Coach taps on the doorway, signaling it’s time to go.
Nixon and I share a silent look and grab our helmets. Black grease smeared underneath his eyes accentuates the determined look on his face. The same look all of us have.
“Who are we?” Nix’s voice echoes through the room.
“Ravens!”
“Damn right we are. So let’s get out there and show them how we’re playing football over here.”
More chants.
Nix turns to look at me, our fists meeting halfway for a bump.
Showtime, baby.
CALLIE
All of the stadium jumps to their feet when the announcer calls the Ravens out on the field. It’s pandemonium out there. The crowd is buzzing with so much energy it’s unreal, and definitely unlike anything I’ve ever seen in my life.
“Here they are!” Chloe shouts loudly in my ear, extending her hand in the direction of the tunnel from which a bunch of players in black jerseys streaked with gold run out accompanied by cheerleaders waving their pom-poms and flags with the team mascot on them.
There is a quick stab of pain as I watch them, but I push it away when my eyes land on Hayden. He’s leading the team alongside Nix and another player. His eyes take in the crowd until they finally land on the student section where we’re sitting. He got me two tickets so he must know where to look, even though I’m not sure if he can actually see me between all the people surrounding us.
Chloe squeals loudly, throwing her arms around me. “He’s looking at you! Wave!”
Deeming me apparently too slow, she lifts my hand in the air and waves.
“You’re crazy, you know that?” Still, I laugh and wave.
He tips his chin, a flash of a smile crossing his face before he turns abruptly and jogs to join the rest of his teammates on the sidelines.
“See! I told you so.”
I shake my head at her. I haven’t been to an actual football game since my sophomore year in high school, and then I was on the sidelines. Sitting in the stands feels… different, but I know this is an important game for Hayden. We didn’t talk much about football, but from bits and pieces I’ve heard they were facing their biggest rival. And since Hayden asked me to come, I couldn’t find it in me to tell him no.
The anthem is played and three players on each team gather for a coin toss. Words are exchanged before they all go to their respective teams, Nixon and Hayden staying on the sidelines.
Chlo
e claps her hands excitedly, “Showtime.”
HAYDEN
“Dammit!” I fist my fingers tightly by my side, although I’d rather shove them into somebody’s face. Probably that fucker from Eastwood who just scored the touchdown and is now doing a celebratory dance in the end zone as the scoreboard switches to 24-24 with just minutes left on the clock.
Coach is yelling, frantically waving his hands.
“Well, shit just got complicated,” Nix lifts his hands in the air, stretching his muscles as much as all the equipment allows him.
“Cole, Hayden, get your asses over here!”
I toss the last of the water in my mouth, throw the empty bottle, and we both go to him, other players on the offense team joining us.
“There are only two minutes left,” Coach grumbles unhappily and starts drawing out the play on the board.
“We can do this, Coach,” I assure him. There is no way we’re leaving this field, our field, with tails tucked between our legs.
“This needs to be quick, no messing around.” He turns the board, showing us the game plan. I nod, my eyes finding Nix’s gaze, mutual understanding passing between us.
“Let’s do this shit. On three.” We all huddle up as Nixon counts down.
“Ravens!”
Offense team runs on the field, everybody taking the position. I listen to Nix call out the play, my eyes glued to the Saint player, watching his every move. As soon as the ball is snapped I go straight at him as Nix fakes the throw, just like we agreed, and instead hands the ball to our running back.
Change in our play confuses them for a moment, giving Prescott a chance to gain us twenty-five yards before he’s tackled to the ground.
Whistle blows, players disentangling as we move down the field, setting into position.
People are cheering loudly, but I can barely hear them from the sound of blood pumping through my veins.
My eyes dart to the clock.
One minute, thirty-two seconds.
Just a little bit more, we can do this.
Squatting in the position, I wait for the second play to be called. This one, I know by heart. Nixon and I have practiced it so many times that his words as he calls out the play are in tune with my heartbeat.
Pigskin snaps against the hands, and I’m running. Slipping past one Saint and jumping over the other.
I push my legs, my muscles burning, but I don’t let it slow me down. I can see the end zone when I hear the familiar whoosh of air.
I turn around, not once stopping, and the spiral lands perfectly in my hands, the ball burning my skin with the force it landed in my open arms, just when I reach the endzone.
The-fucking-end, baby.
Chapter Forty-Eight
CALLIE
People are cheering all the way out of the stadium. Not that I can blame them. Even I caught football fever. It was exciting to see Hayden and the rest of the guys in action. The game was far from an easy win, but they totally deserved it.
“Are you going to wait for him?” Chloe shouts so I can hear her over the deafening hoots of the crowd surrounding us. I could already imagine the parties that will take place all over the campus tonight to celebrate this win.
I stop mid-step, surprised by Chloe’s question.
Am I supposed to wait for him? But most importantly, does he want me to?
We’ve never discussed it and I haven’t attended any games until now, so it could go either way.
I mean, he asked me to come today, he even seemed a little put off that I didn’t volunteer to come before, but big crowds just aren’t my thing. Still, he seemed happy when I agreed to come today.
“Yeah…” I say slowly. “I think I will.”
Her eyes twinkle with excitement. “C’mon, follow me.” Chloe locks our arms together, pulling me close. “Let’s get your man!”
“Why are there so many people out here?” I ask, looking around with wide eyes.
I mean, it’s a home game, and an important one too. Our team won, but still. Don’t these people have anything better to do than freeze their asses off? Back in high school, it was usually family, friends, and girlfriends. Oh, and groupies, can’t forget about them. Even then, they were the easiest to spot in their short skirts, high heels, and too much makeup.
Just thinking of it has me shivering in my big puffy coat. Snuggling into my scarf further, I look toward the door that leads to the locker rooms.
For real, how long does it take to take a shower and change? If he doesn’t show up soon, I’m going to turn into a popsicle.
Just when I think it, the door swings open. People start to cheer when players get out, but stop when they realize it’s not Ravens, it’s their opponents Eastwood Saints.
We watch them as they get out, duffels thrown over their wide shoulders and go toward the bus that’s parked close by.
Chloe is chatting about something, but I don’t listen, too nervous to finally see Hayden. I scan the crowd hoping to find his face, but I don’t.
Instead, I see him. I’m surprised, although I don’t know why I should be. I saw the announcement when they were introducing the players. I knew he’s playing for Eastwood, yet I didn’t expect to see him standing in front of me.
Benjamin Jones stops in his tracks, making one of his teammates stumble into him, but even that doesn’t make him budge. He’s even more surprised than I am, then again, he didn’t know I was here. Nobody knows I came to Blairwood.
I feel Chloe tugging at my elbow, but I can’t move my gaze from my ex-boyfriend.
The time has passed, but he looks almost the same. With expertly disheveled hair like he wore it since I’ve known him, and crystal blue eyes, he still looks like an all-American boy next door. He’s got another few inches on him, his muscles are prominent, his face more defined, with cutting cheekbones and strong jaw.
Those full lips that were my first kiss tip in a smile. “Callie Stewart,” he draws my name slowly, almost lazily, making fine hair at the nape of my neck rise. “It’s been a while.”
Pushing back the shock at seeing him, I tip my head in greeting. “Benjamin,” I say, knowing how much he hates when I use his full name.
“That how you greet your old friends?” He laughs, coming closer, but I take a step back, not wanting him anywhere near me.
“That’s how I greet cheating assholes,” I shoot back coolly.
“Callie, Callie,” he tsks, shaking his head. “You should leave the past in the past.”
“I would if it weren’t staring me right in the face. What do you want, Ben? Don’t you have a bus to catch?”
Go and leave me alone already, I plead silently. I don’t want him anywhere near here when Hayden comes.
“I just stopped by to chat with an old friend. See how you’re doing?”
His eyes take me in from head to toe, stopping on the scar on my face. I’ll never forget the way he looked at me the first time he saw it. Disgust was written all over his features, as clear as day.
The need to hide is so strong, but I refuse to let him win. I hid that day, but not this time. I’m not the same girl who would do everything for her boyfriend’s approval.
“Some things stay the same, I guess.”
Blinking away the memories, I look at him, not in the least offended by his jab. “No,” I take him in, “I guess they don’t.”
“You should be…”
“Babe, you’re here!”
Whatever Ben wanted to say is lost when Hayden rushes toward me. His arms wrap around me, pulling me in for a hug so strong he actually lifts me off the ground. My heart races with excitement and all the worries I had before disappear. A giggle escapes me and I burrow my head in the crook of his neck, inhaling his fresh scent.
“I hope that’s okay,” I say quietly, so only he can hear me. “I wasn’t sure…”
But I don’t get to finish because his lips land on mine, claiming them in a hard kiss that leaves me breathless. There are a few hoots and catca
lls coming around us that make me blush, but Hayden is all wide smiles as he breaks the kiss and pulls away.
“It’s perfect,” he assures me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re perfect. Did you see…”
“Well, well, well… if it isn’t Hayden Watson.”
We both turn around as one to look at Ben. His blue eyes dart between the two of us with clear interest as he puts two and two together.
Talk about a class reunion.
“I didn’t realize you two are together,” he says, a smug smile on his face. A smile that for some reason sends icy, uncomfortable shivers running down my spine. “I guess it’s only fitting. Fallen beauty settles for the white-trash loser.”
Hayden tenses next to me. His hand pulls me behind him, shielding me with his big body.
“Don’t pull Callie into something she doesn’t have anything to do with,” Hayden grits, anger radiating off of him. “This is between you and me, and if I remember correctly, it was you who lost on that field not that long ago. Don’t be a sore loser, Jones.”
The jab hits dead center. Ben’s jaw tightens, his face flushing in embarrassment, but he schools his features quickly.
Refusing to keep hiding, I step next to Hayden, his hand wrapping around my waist and pulling me closer.
Ben’s eyes narrow at us, a thoughtful expression on his face making the unease I was feeling before Hayden arrived return in full force.
“Although I’d never think you two would end up together,” he says slowly as if he’s contemplating something. “After everything that has happened.”
Everything that has happened? Is he talking about cheating? But he doesn’t know. Nobody knows. It can’t be.
Hair at the nape of my neck raises. I’m not even sure why, but for some reason, I don’t like the way he looks at us. Like he knows something we don’t and whatever he will say won’t be pretty.