Yours Completely

by Joya Ryan

“Erica, my old advisor, she drives a silver 4x4, and I talked with her today.”

  “She helped him?”

  “I don’t think she knew what he was planning. But she left him. I told her the truth and she believed me and left him today. He blames me, and that’s why I think he was angry, but…”

  There was more. Something was going on, and I didn’t know enough to understand it. He said I was stupid, like things were going on in front of my face that were bigger than I could imagine.

  My head just pounded.

  “Don’t stress about that, love,” Cal said. “You’re safe, and it sounds like Erica is away from Brock, and he’s in jail for at least the night.”

  We pulled up to the hospital and the doors opened to take me out on the bed. Cal was right beside me.

  “I fought him off.”

  Something proud and terrified and sad and happy marred his perfect features. “Yeah, you did, love. I’m so proud of you.”

  ~

  “No concussion,” the doctor said, as I sat in the hospital bed and he looked over my chart. I had been there a couple hours, they ran all the tests that Cal insisted on. “Aside from a few bumps and bruises, you look to be in good shape.”

  Bea was sitting next to me and squeezed my hand. Her quilted vest was over a long-sleeved sweater, and she smelled like sugar cookies. I knew it was her and not just her home. I wanted to snuggle against her and melt away from the sterile world of the hospital.

  She was teary and just kept mumbling what sounded like thanks to God as she kept me close. It was foreign, but soothing at the same time. Having her there. Caring.

  Cal was clutching his cell as he frowned at the doctor. “You sure she’s okay?”

  He nodded. “Yes. Just some rest and Tylenol for any discomfort. There is a small fracture in your cheekbone,” he said to me. “It will heal on its own, but will be tender in the meantime. None of the blood vessels in your eye seem to look bad, but if you have a problem with vision or headaches, let me know.”

  Cal scrubbed a hand over his face and looked like he was about ready to lose it.

  “Hey,” I whispered to him. “I’m okay.”

  He just shook his head, and I was pretty sure he was about to smash his cell phone in his grip. Thankfully, it rang and he looked down, relief and anger lit his face.

  He kissed my forehead. “Hang on, I’ll be right outside.” He put his cell to his ear and said, “Hey, yeah…” and walked out of the room.

  “He’s just worried about you,” Bea said. I knew that. He was so worried it made him angry and upset with himself, which was what I didn’t want.

  “You’re lucky, young lady,” the doctor said, and patted my shoulder.

  “She’s a fighter,” Bea said, as she put an arm around me and pulled me close. The doctor nodded and gave me a prescription for Tylenol with codeine to help me sleep. When he opened the door, I caught a glimpse of Cal in the hallway with fury on his face.

  “He fractured her fucking cheekbone,” he said into the phone before the door closed again.

  Bea just continued to hug me. “He’s probably just yelling at the officer who took Brock in.”

  I took a deep breath. I appreciated Cal’s concern so much, but I hated that he was internalizing it.

  “None of this was his fault,” I said to Bea, and she nodded.

  “I know, honey. But he feels out of control right now.”

  Her words hit me. This was how Cal held his control. In every other area, he let me express what I needed, be who I was, even exercise my own dominance from time to time, but this? My safety and wellbeing were his personal mission, and he was spiraling. Just like the night I saw him scared when I took the sleeping pills.

  Cal came back in and shoved his phone in his pocket. He looked at me, and I saw so much raw fear and dread on his face. Seeing this big man in half his fire gear looking at me like I had some kind of power over him broke my heart. Because he was the one I needed. The one that came through for me.

  “Baby?” I asked him softly. His gaze snapped to mine. “Will you please take me home?”

  “My home,” he said.

  I nodded. “Yes, take me there, with you?”

  “Yeah,” he said, helping me up.

  “I’ll drop you two off,” Bea said, which was nice, since we’d arrived in an ambulance.

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  Cal just cradled me into his side, and walked me out of the hospital like I was the most precious thing he’d ever held. And the thought made me want to cry for a whole new reason.

  Chapter 23

  Standing in Cal’s bedroom, he lifted my shirt over my head slowly, then peeled my pants off. Though he was gentle, there was nothing sexual about his undressing me. He had a purpose.

  “Do you still have to work tonight?”

  “Talked to the captain, told him there was a family emergency. Got it covered. I’m not leaving you.”

  He did only live a couple blocks away, but still, I didn’t want to put him in a bad place with work.

  “It’s not really a family emergency. Will the captain be mad if—”

  “You’re my family, Lana,” he said, cutting me off. Those words struck my chest so hard it felt like thick syrup. Family. He’d made me part of his, and it was something I wanted so badly.

  He unclasped my bra, slid it down my arms, then pulled a shirt from his dresser. But he stalled as he looked me over, his big hand gently smoothing over my shoulder, down my chest to my hips. He knelt and looked at my legs.

  “You have a couple bruises,” he said, gently tracing over my shin bone.

  “I was kicking pretty hard.” I smiled.

  He didn’t seem to like my humor, simply stood and walked behind me to inspect further.

  “I’m really okay,” I said.

  He came back around to face me and softly put the T-shirt over my head and pulled it down.

  “Let’s get you to bed.” He fluffed the pillows, then threw back the blankets and helped me in, tucking them in around me like I was a child.

  “I’m just going to take a quick shower and hit the couch.”

  “What?” I understood the shower, because the poor guy was still smoky from whatever fire he’d crawled out of earlier, but the couch? “Why aren’t you coming to bed with me?”

  “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You won’t. My cheek hurts a little, but I’ll take the medicine.” But that wasn’t the real reason. “I want to feel you next to me.”

  “No.” He turned and walked toward the bathroom, and I heard the water turn on. What the hell? Why was he pushing me away now?

  I threw back the blankets and marched in after him. I didn’t bother waiting, or even taking off the shirt he’d put me in, I just walked right into the shower with him.

  “What the—” he spurted, wiping water from his eyes.

  “Yeah, exactly,” I said. “What the hell?” I stood there, the spray hitting me just enough to dampen the white T-shirt and mist my skin.

  “Lana, go back to bed. I’ll bring your pill, and then—”

  “And then you’ll ‘hit the couch?’” I shook my head. “Why are you keeping me close and staying away at the same time?”

  “Because I don’t want to hurt you. I already told you that.”

  “You won’t.”

  “I will,” he snapped. “I love you, damn it. I’d never hurt you. In any way.” His eyes were wild with fear and so much pain I wanted to shake him and hug him at the same time. “Look at you,” he said, glancing down the front of my shirt. My nipples were peeking out of the now-see-through cotton, and Cal definitely noticed. “If I get too close to you, I’ll want you in a way I shouldn’t.”

  “Baby, I want you too. You won’t hurt me.”

  “You’re injured!” he snapped. “You just fought off an attacker, your cheek is swollen, and I’m not going to risk hurting you further.”

  “But, I need you,” I said. “I want to
feel you and I want our connection. I was so scared,” I admitted. “No, I was terrified. I felt weak, and forced myself to be strong and fight. And I did. Now I feel good. I got away, Cal. I beat him this time. Now, I just want you to hold me. Make love to me. I don’t want to be alone, I want to be with you.”

  He shook his head and went to cup my face, then stopped and pulled back. “I want to so much, love,” he said. “But with how I’m feeling right now, it’s not a good idea.”

  “How are you feeling?” I asked.

  He looked at me for a long time, as if debating on whether or not to tell me. Finally, with a scowl and a few more seconds, he said, “I’m scared too.” He took a step closer, all wet skin and muscle, and my body screamed for him. I was desperate to feel him. I reached out and ran my palms along his abs. He closed his eyes for a moment, as if my touch soothed him. I hope it did.

  “I was terrified too. When I saw you with blood on your face and you looked at me like I could save you. Help you. When I saw you fall, I barely got there to catch you.”

  “But you caught me. And I fell because I was relieved. My brain shut down and I passed out, but I knew I was okay. You were there.”

  “You made yourself okay. You kept yourself safe. But the realization of how close you came to—” it looked like he bit his tongue before continuing. “It could have been worse. I could have lost you.”

  “I’m right here. I’m reaching out for you.”

  Such a difference from how we started our relationship. I was now the one seeking him out.

  “And I want to reach back, but I’m so angry. I look at your face, at what he did to you, and I want to kill him. I want to rage and break shit. I want to bury myself inside you, not letting you even an inch from me.”

  I glanced down and saw his muscles all flexing with tension and his cock hard.

  “Please,” I whispered. “I don’t want to be an inch from you either.”

  With a heavy frown, he turned off the water and peeled the shirt and my panties off and left them in the shower. Reaching for a towel, he gently dried my hair and body that had gotten damp.

  Helping me from the shower, he quickly dried off and led me to the bedroom and laid me down like he had before.

  “Under the covers,” he said.

  I looked up at him, “Only if you’re coming with me.”

  I held out my arms and waited, praying he’d stay.

  Finally, he slowly sank down, and I parted my thighs to cradle him. He had all his weight on his arms.

  “You won’t hurt me,” I whispered, and brought him down for a kiss. I pulled the blankets around us, and he lowered himself to his forearms, then looked at me to gauge my reaction.

  “I’m okay,” I assured him. I wrapped my legs around his hips, his cock nudging my entrance. “This,” I reached down to grip him and rolled my hips enough to take the tip of his cock inside me, “is where I want to be. You are what I need.”

  He groaned and kissed me softly as he slowly pushed further inside.

  Tension poured off of him like he was holding back from scooping me up and hugging me hard. But he didn’t. He was so gentle, touching me like a butterfly’s wings.

  He pushed forward until he was buried to the hilt, and I exhaled in happiness. Connection. Him. What I needed.

  He didn’t retreat, just gently rocked, feeling me, kissing my face softly down to my neck. His rhythm didn’t quicken, he just kept stirring, refusing to leave my body for an instant. He bent his head to kiss along my breast and gently pull a nipple between his lips.

  I ran my hand through his hair, every sensation lit up my nerves, and all I felt was pleasure and bliss.

  I was okay.

  We were okay.

  Everything in the world was righting itself.

  He pumped deep, my orgasm coming on slow and intense. He kissed up my neck again to my mouth. Tasting his lips was like coming home. A home he made me feel a part of. Like family. The one thing I never truly had.

  “Cal,” I whispered against his mouth. He looked at me, and I cupped his face. “I love you.”

  He frowned, like something struck his chest, but there was a sadness and happiness behind his eyes. I was hoping, in time, the sadness would go away and all that would be left was joy.

  “I love you. So damn much,” he said, and kissed me harder this time. Staying deep, his chest pressing against my breasts and feeling his warm skin envelope mine, I gave myself over to the pleasure and came apart in his arms.

  I felt him harden further and come right behind me. My name on his lips as he did. This was home, I was certain of it. Right there with Cal. The thought made me so happy and so relaxed, I couldn’t help but close my eyes, and get lost in the warmth.

  Chapter 24

  I woke up and winced. The sting in my cheek was throbbing and ached. Cal’s big body was pressed against mine, his arms tucked close to his chest, as if he feel asleep telling himself not to touch me.

  I grinned a little. He was so worried, but a step had been taken, and he could see that I wasn’t breakable. Despite the events of tonight, and the annoying ache in my cheek, I was feeling relatively good.

  I glanced at the clock. It was two in the morning. I quietly got up and went into the kitchen where my prescription was and got a glass of water.

  I read the front of the bottle when Cal’s phone caught my eye. It was blinking.

  When I went to tap a button to make it stop, a texted popped up. My heart stopped. It was from Jack.

  Jack: How is she?

  I gasped. Cal had told him what happened? I should put the phone down now. Bea told me that Jack’s distance wouldn’t have stopped them from being brothers. Sure, they must communicate now and again. As well they should. But about me?

  Put. The. Phone. Down.

  I bit my lip. Jack asked how I was…

  I clicked the text and the conversation thread got brought up.

  Nothing prepared me for what I started reading. My eyes went wide as I scrolled through their texts back and forth. Certain phrases sticking out to me like:

  Jack: I thought you had this handled.

  Cal: I do. She’s stronger than you give her credit for.

  Jack: I give her plenty of credit. Which is why I can’t fucking stand this.

  Cal: We agreed…

  Jack: I know.

  That was when Cal and I first started dating. After my run-in with Brock at my car at school several weeks ago.

  We agreed?

  What did that mean? I looked at the call log, and what I found was shocking. They spoke sporadically after Jack first left. But more recently, the back and forth was regular. More calls and texts had been exchanged in the last two weeks. It was Jack that Cal had been on the phone with at the hospital. He’d kept him up to date on me? On us?

  “What the hell?” I whispered. When another text came through.

  Jack: We need to talk. Now.

  My thumb hovered over the keys. Pain and sickness were lining my stomach. I didn’t know the extent of what was going on, but Cal and Jack had some sort of agreement.

  I typed back: What is it?

  I waited a heartbeat, and Jack came back.

  Jack: What is it? Lana got fucking hurt tonight. This changes everything. And this goes deeper than we thought. Something bad has happened. I’m calling this off early. You’ve had your time.

  I frowned. What goes deeper? Brock’s hatred for me? This code they’re speaking in?

  You’ve had your time…

  My heart beat faster as I scrolled through the texts, going as fast as I could back to when Jack left. Finally, I found the date.

  Jack: It’s done. She’s yours.

  My vision wavered, and I realized it wasn’t because I’d been hit, it was because tears were lining my eyes.

  “Lana?” Cal asked, standing in the entrance of the living room and looking at me. I held his phone and turned to face him. He looked at it, then at me.

  “Jack is tryi
ng to get ahold of you,” I whispered.

  Horror crossed his face.

  “In fact, it seems like you and Jack have had a plan from the beginning.”

  “It’s not what it looks like,” Cal said, and took a step toward me.

  I bit my bottom lip to try to keep from crying. My eyes already hurt with the strain. “Really? Because it looks like you two made arrangements to share me.”

  “Love…listen to me—”

  “It’s done, she’s yours?” I asked, glancing at his phone. “You’ve had your time?” God, all of it came together. Jack had said our timing was off before he left. It even looked like part of him wanted to stay. But he didn’t. Because it was Cal’s turn to have me?

  I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. The moments from the past flashed through my mind. The night I met Cal. The night at the bar I met Jack. The day they spoke outside the bar and I never saw Cal again until after Jack left.

  “You set me up. Both of you did.” The tears that escaped hit my cheek and stung. But nothing compared to the last half of my heart breaking. “You’ve had your time?” I repeated one of the messages again. “Tell me you didn’t pass me between the two of you like some toy. Tell me you didn’t have an agreement to share me.”

  I waited, and he said nothing. My entire chest burst open. Nothing compared to this kind of blow. I thought Brock was bad? Thought Jack leaving hurt? This was unfathomable pain, and it sliced straight through my sternum like shears.

  “Tell me!” I yelled, and tossed his phone on the counter.

  “We both wanted you,” he said softly. “The first night at the bar, we both saw you and wanted you. But when the fight broke out—”

  “You took care of the fight that was happening at my table, and Jack took care of me.”

  “I let you two be,” he said. “But when I saw you show up to the barbeque, that wasn’t planned. Jack had left town, I thought maybe it didn’t work out, and I still wanted you.”

  “Well, lucky me.” Tears were streaming faster as I looked at the man I trusted. The man I thought would be in my corner, and the whole time he was cavorting with the man that was my corner. “What about the bar? The talk outside?”

  “We were both shocked. The timing was off. He was gone, then I was gone to a wildfire…”