Embrace of Darkness

by Bilinda Sheehan

  7

  The feel of someone watching me drew me from my slumber. Opening my eyes, I blinked against the harsh light that filtered through the gap in the blinds.

  The silhouette of a person moved, momentarily blocking out the stream of light that sliced across my eyes.

  “Nic?” I said, struggling up through the bedclothes.

  Nic lay on the opposite side of the bed to me, one arm sprawled out spanning the space on the mattress between us. Jerking my gaze up, I caught Victoria’s hard stare.

  “You waste no time,” she said, “I thought even you would have more sense than to throw yourself back into bed with him.”

  “What are you doing in here?” I hit back, feeling the sting of her words a little too keenly.

  She snorted in disgust and turned her back to me as she stalked for the door.

  “I came to see how you were when I heard about Graham.”

  Her words brought the events of the night before flooding back to me. Scrambling from the bed, I followed her into the hall.

  “Have they got any news?”

  She turned on me, her eyes flashed black and her skin rippled as though some great beast lurked beneath, waiting to escape. I took a step back, keeping a close eye on her movements.

  “You didn’t think to tell me?” Despite the obvious hostility in her voice, each word was tinged with the barest hint of sadness.

  “I’m sorry, it’s just…”

  “It’s always something with you,” she said bitterly. “You think of no one else but yourself in all matters. As though you are the only one who would mourn his passing.”

  “Victoria,” I said spreading my hands out in front of me. “I’m sorry. It was all so messed up last night, finding him and—”

  Victoria’s expression had twisted into one of disgust, as though every word out of my mouth repelled her. Right up until the moment I said I’d found him.

  “They didn’t say you had found him.” she said, “Just that you were there and…” She closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath, when she opened them once more the darkness of her changeling nature had receded. “I think I owe you an apology.”

  “No,” I said, “I’m the one who should be apologising to you. You were right, I should have called you. Leaving you out of the loop like that…” I shook my head, disappointed with myself for having screwed up so royally. “Well it’s just not what partners do.”

  One quick nod of her head and I knew I was forgiven. That was the beauty of changelings. They weren’t one for grudges, or at least Victoria wasn’t anyway. So long as you weren’t a banshee she could pretty much forgive anything. And whatever she didn’t, well she tended to murder those who found themselves on the wrong side of her.

  “Why are you sleeping with him?” Her question took me completely by surprise.

  “Excuse me?”

  “He’s dangerous, so why are you back in his bed?”

  “I think you’ll find it’s A. My bed and B. None of your business what I do or who I do it with.”

  “He will hurt you again,” she said gently, “relationships between your kind always end in heartache and bloodshed.”

  “Well aren’t you just sunshine and roses,” Nic said, sourly from the doorway to the bedroom.

  “I’m simply telling her the truth.”

  “It’s fine, Nic,” I said, “I know Victoria is just looking out for me.”

  Victoria’s face twisted into a grimace. “I am looking out for myself,” she said, “the last thing I need is to be partnered with someone suffering the after effects of a bad break-up. That’s the kind of thing that could get a changeling killed.”

  “Why are you here?” Nic asked, moving further into the room.

  “As I said to Amber, I came to find out how she was after I heard about Graham.”

  Nic shook his head. “That doesn’t track,” he said, “you’re a changeling, you don’t have feelings for others.”

  “Nic, that’s not exactly fair,” I started to speak but he cut me off.

  “Well not human feelings anyway. You’re here because you know something.”

  I bit back the words that hovered on the tip of my tongue and gave Victoria my full attention once more.

  “There’s a case for us,” she said stiffly.

  “Yeah,” I said, “Graham’s case takes precedence over everything.”

  She shook her head and turned her gaze on the floor as though her steel-toe-capped black boots were suddenly the most interesting shoes in the world. “Not for us it doesn’t.” She spoke so quietly I almost didn’t hear her.

  “I don’t understand,” I said, “Graham was murdered. He’s one of our own, of course his case gets everyone’s full attention.”

  “The others will work his case,” she said, “but it was decided that you and I should perhaps place our attention elsewhere.”

  “Bullshit,” I said, “I have to help, I—”

  “No.” Victoria sighed. “As much as I hate to say it, Amber, I agree with their assessment. Your concentration will not be what it should if you work Graham’s murder. Some part of you must understand that you are too close to this to see things clearly.”

  Anger flooded my veins causing my blood pressure to climb. My chest constricted and I tried to fight through the rage that threatened to derail me completely. How could they do this? They knew how close I was to Graham. He’d been my first partner and now they expected me to just walk away and let them sort it all out? It didn’t make sense. If anyone was going to catch his killer, it should be me… Would be me.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” she said, “that it doesn’t matter what they think, we can work both cases…”

  Lifting my gaze to her, I shook my head. “I wasn’t thinking that at all,” I said. “I won’t do it.”

  It sounded so simple in my head. Yet I knew as soon as the words left my mouth that it wouldn’t be so easy. Disobeying a direct order was a complicated matter, especially where the Elite were concerned.

  “You don’t even know what the case is,” she said, pursing her lips in displeasure.

  “Well you answer me this, Victoria,” I said, “you’re one of the fae, your loyalty is legendary. Do you really think we should just walk away from Graham’s case and let someone else take it over.”

  “I don’t want to,” she said grudgingly. “But I am not a fool. I know that I must step aside if I hope to see his murderer brought to justice.”

  “How can you be so callous?”

  Nic touched my shoulder, the feel of his fingers against my skin calming. I unclenched my fists as the tension slowly leeched from my shoulders.

  “I wouldn’t screw it up,” I said, hating the whiney note in my voice. “I cared about him, loved him even. I would never do something to jeopardise his investigation.”

  “I know, love,” Nic said, sliding his hand around my shoulders as he drew me back against his chest. Victoria’s eyes narrowed as she observed us and I knew I would have to talk to her about her feelings toward Nic.

  “Nobody is saying you would screw it up.”

  They were right, deep down I knew it. I was too close to the case. Hell, my instinct when I’d found his body had been to attempt a resurrection. I was utterly untrustworthy, my emotions unpredictable. I would be a liability. But the ache in my chest and the hatred that burned inside my veins didn’t want to agree with them. Couldn’t agree with them.

  “Graham deserves the very best shot, Amber,” Nic said. “And some part of you knows that you’re too close to this to be objective. Nobody blames you for that but you know focusing your mind elsewhere and letting the Elite get on with the job of finding his killer is the best thing for all involved.”

  “What’s the case,” I said through gritted teeth.

  Victoria shrugged. “I don’t have all the details. I was just told to get my ass into the office along with you for the debrief.”

  “I’ll get ready,” I said.

&n
bsp; “They said to bring a bag,” Victoria said. “Enough items for a few days apparently.”

  I had a ‘go-bag.’ Everyone in the Elite had one on stand-by for cases that required us to travel but I’d never gotten around to using mine yet. Every case I’d taken had happened in the city or in one of the smaller satellite towns.

  “They’re going to make sure we can’t intervene,” I said flatly.

  “Looks that way.” Victoria grimaced, it was an expression I was used to seeing her wear but it was the emotion behind it that took me by surprise. The fae weren’t known for their attachments to humans. In fact, I was pretty sure that Victoria often thought we hindered her more than anything else. We were too slow, too emotional, too fragile.

  She relied on logic, never allowing her feelings to get in the way of the job. In her own way she was terrifying.

  But as I studied her, I knew there was more to her mood than just being pissed off getting kicked off Graham’s case.

  “You care for him,” I said.

  Victoria’s head jerked up, her eyes shifting to changeling black as she met my gaze head on.

  “He’s dead. What I felt or didn’t feel for him doesn’t matter anymore.” She turned on her heel and stalked for the door. “I’ll wait for you in the car.”

  As soon as we were alone, I let the tension I’d been holding onto go.

  “The fae don’t like to show vulnerability,” Nic said softly. “She won’t ever admit just how much Graham meant to her.”

  “I know,” I said, “she doesn’t have to. I can see it in her. She cared for him the only way she knew how.”

  “I’ll swing by my place and grab some clothes,” he said. “It won’t take me long, I tend to travel light these days.”

  “You can’t come,” I said, “I need you here. I need to know there’s someone here looking out for Graham’s interests.”

  “Amber, I—”

  “Nic, please. I know I have to go but I need someone here I can trust.”

  He opened his mouth to argue further before changing his mind. “Fine. I don’t like it but I’ll stay.”

  Wrapping his arms around my shoulders, I let him draw me in against his warm body.

  “Just promise me you’ll be safe.”

  I nodded, not daring to answer him. I couldn’t make a promise like that when I didn’t even know what was wrong with my powers and we had no idea what we were walking into.

  “I love you, Amber,” he said, pulling back so he could look into my eyes. “We’ll figure all of this out. We’ll get through it.”

  “I know,” I said. There was so much left unspoken between us but I couldn’t go dredging it all up now. All I knew for certain was that I needed someone here to keep an eye on the investigation into Graham’s death and Nic was the one person I could trust to do that for me.

  “I should go,” I said, untangling myself from his grip but before I could pull away entirely, he tugged me close once more. His fingers slid up into my hair, tilting my head upwards towards his as his lips found mine.

  The kiss was tender, more a promise for the future and I found myself opening up to him.

  It would be so easy to let him back in and I wanted to… But now was not the right time.

  I broke the kiss first.

  “I’ve got to go,” I said, reluctantly releasing my hold on him.

  “Please be careful,” he said, his eyes searching mine for something I wasn’t entirely sure I could give him.

  “You too.” And with that I let him go, crossing into the bedroom, I shut the door firmly behind me. Busying myself in the room, I dragged my go-bag out from the back of the closet and proceeded to throw the last of my personal items into it before I grabbed a change of clothes and dived into the shower.

  By the time I was ready and had emerged from the bedroom, Nic had gone and part of me was glad that he wasn’t here to make my leaving any harder than it already was. Perhaps now I would be able to think a little more clearly without the constantly feeling torn in two directions. I wanted to go after him, to feel his skin against mine, take the strength he offered. And as much as I wanted to, I knew it was wrong.

  My feelings for Nic had never before clouded my ability to do my job, until now.

  No. My reasons for asking him to stay hadn’t strictly been because I knew he would keep a close eye on Graham’s investigation. I needed the time apart to see just how badly my judgement was impaired because he’d shared his essence with me.

  Before Graham’s death, I’d been willing to forget everything negative that had happened between us. I’d been willing to brush aside the fact that he’d tried to kill me. And then I’d found Graham and the shock of his death had been enough to cause me to question my sudden eagerness to ignore the danger Nic posed to me.

  And he was dangerous. Every time I let myself fall into his arms, I gave him the power to destroy me, body and soul. I just needed to figure out if it was love that made me so vulnerable around him or if the piece of his soul he’d shared with me had let him creep beneath my defenses.

  Because with the way I felt when he held me, I knew if Nic tried to take my life again, I would let him. And it was the knowledge that I would welcome death at his hands that truly frightened me.

  8

  Victoria was silent for the entire ride over to the Elite offices. Sitting next to her in the SUV, I could sense there was something bothering her but I’d worked with her long enough to know that asking her outright what the problem was wouldn’t get me the answers I needed. Instead, I sat and stared out the window, watching the busy city streets pass us by.

  She parked across the road from the Elite offices, the outside of which was a hive of activity. Staring up at the glittering office block, with the officers scurrying in and out of the main doors I was reminded of a hornets nest I’d once disturbed when I’d been ten. The sound of the buzzing still rang in my ears and I could practically taste the fear I’d felt all those years ago resting on the tip of my tongue now.

  The Elite officers were just like those hornets. Their nest disturbed, one of their own murdered right inside the hive. They would search out the interloper and destroy him and anyone who got in their way.

  “Earth to Amber,” Victoria’s voice cut through my thoughts like a knife.

  “Yeah,” I said, scrubbing my hands over my face. My eyes felt dry, almost gritty. Last night I hadn’t been able to stop my tears and today… Well today I hadn’t even managed to shed one tear for the man I’d called my friend.

  I felt numb, my mind and body cocooned from the truth that he was really gone. Had I made a mistake? Maybe, I’d dreamt the whole ordeal and when we walked in the doors of the office, Graham would be waiting by my desk to chew me out over being so god-damned late…

  “We should go in,” Victoria said a little more gently. “We don’t know how far we’ll be going and getting on the road before the afternoon traffic hits will be a big help.”

  Swallowing past the solid lump in the back of my throat, I nodded and climbed from the car. The day was already far too hot and I knew before we reached midday the temperature would have bypassed triple digits on the thermometer.

  We crossed the road in companionable silence and I tried to ignore the strange looks we received as Victoria pulled open the main door.

  If I’d thought outside had been busy, I’d been mistaken. The lobby was jammed with people, including the press and T.V. Crews. They were gathered around the reception desk, generally getting the usual no comment stock response from Sylvia on the front desk. As we skirted the edges of the lobby, I caught wind of the words press-conference and man-hunt bandied about. Obviously there had been some sort of break in the case or they wouldn’t be considering letting the press in on any of it.

  “Shit, who do you think tipped them off?” I nudged Victoria as we tried to slip through the crowd unnoticed. I didn’t have Jason pegged for the type to want anything to do with the press. As a rule, the Saga Venatione were
a group that preferred to stick to the shadows, that way it was easier to sneak up on whatever prey they were stalking.

  “Ms Morgan!” A reporter near the edge of the crowd caught my eye and broke away from the others. “Ms Morgan, is it true your boss Graham Lance has been the victim of an attack here in E.F.P headquarters?”

  “No comment,” I said catching up to Victoria who had already made it to the elevators.

  “Ms Morgan, are you a suspect?” His question took me completely by surprise, making me stumble as I stepped into the elevator. Only Victoria’s hand on my elbow kept me upright and moving ahead.

  The doors slid shut in the face of the nosey reporter, leaving me to stare at my own wan reflection in the high-polish metal.

  “Why would he think that?” I mused aloud. Not that I was really expecting an answer.

  “It’s always the one closest to the victim that gets looked at first,” Victoria said with a languid shrug of her shoulders.

  “What does that mean?” The words came out sharper than I intended and Victoria shook her head.

  “Nothing, Amber,” she said, “it means nothing.”

  I wanted to demand an answer from her but the elevator spat us out on our level. The screech of the metal doors sliding open, seemed louder than usual in the quiet hush of the hallway.

  Just beyond where we stood, I could see the double glass doors leading to the bull-pen. The familiar yellow crime scene tape set up inside. Crime scene techs wandered among the desks in their white overalls, searching for the slightest piece of evidence that could be used to hunt down the monster that had committed the crime. And there was no doubt in my mind that the one responsible for Graham’s death was a monster.

  Jason pushed open the double doors and appeared in the hall. The shirt he’d been wearing the night before was untucked from his jeans and his usually perfect hair stood on end from the number of times he’d run his fingers through it.

  “What are you doing here?” Jason asked, staring between us both in confusion.

  “I got a call, telling me to get down here,” Victoria said, “they said Amber and I would have a case and—”