The Heart of Mine

by Amanda Bennett

  "You wanna tell me what's goin' on with you?"

  "I do."

  Her answer surprised me, but I wasn't about to ruin it, so I sat silent urging her to continue.

  "I went to the doctor."

  "I got that much, pretty girl." I laughed.

  "I took a test yesterday morning before your granddad’s funeral. After everything happened and given the fact that I hadn't been to the doctor yet to confirm it, I didn't want to say anything, but she confirmed it for me today." There was a long pause before she finally looked up at me. "I'm pregnant, Madison."

  I choked on my soda that I had just taken a drink of, as I tried to comprehend what she was tellin' me. "I'm sorry, you're what?"

  "I'm pregnant." She whispered as she hung her head.

  I pulled her into my arms, squeezing her tighter than necessary. My words were lost in my throat and I wasn't exactly sure what to say to her, but I tried. "I...I don't really know what to say."

  "It's okay. You don't have to be involved, if this isn't what you want. I know we haven't been together that long, but I want this Madison, more than I could ever explain."

  "Why would you think I wouldn't want to be part of this?" I could hear the anger rising in my voice. Who did she think I was?

  "I don't know."

  "Is it mine?" Shit, did I just ask that out loud? "Oh my god, Kayla I didn't mean it like that, I swear. I just-"

  "I understand, trust me. I had the same thought a million times after Cami mentioned it. Yes, it's yours. From what the doctor told me, it looks like I conceived the first time we had sex after you came home."

  "Are you sure that we can trust that? I mean, well, I don't know exactly what I mean. Never mind." I threw my cap onto the bench next to me. I knew I was handling this situation all wrong. I pushed my hands back through my hair, finding myself becoming more irritated with every passing second. Deep down, I knew I wanted this, but something felt wrong, off even, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.

  "Look, Madison I think maybe you just need some time to digest all of this. I'm gonna go. I have some things to take care of today before I go back to school on Monday. I'll talk to you later."

  I watched as she slid out from next to me. My eyes instantly made their way down to the non existent bump that I knew would start showing any day now, but I just couldn't bring myself to go after her. I had too many things running through my mind at the moment to be worried about what she was worried about. I knew how selfish I sounded, but I needed some time to process everything. This was gonna affect me just as much as her.

  When the waitress showed up at the table with our plates of food, I shot up from the booth, threw some money down and made my way out of the diner. I stood looking both ways for her. I wasn't going to go after her, but something was pullin' at my insides. My heart was pounding out of my chest and the adrenaline coursing through my veins was enough to make me feel invincible. I quickly ran in the direction of the doctor's office, forgetting all about my truck.

  I turned the corner and still couldn't find her in the small sea of people off to who knows where. Panic began to rise in my throat, as thoughts of last night flashed through the back of my mind. I was only half a block away from the doctor's office now and I was almost relieved, until I noticed that her truck was gone.

  I fished my phone out of my front pocket and quickly dialed her number, prayin' that she would answer. When it went straight to voicemail, my mind went to the darkest place imaginable. I knew what would or could happen to her if he found her. I ran faster than I had ever run in my entire life back to my truck. I threw it into drive and quickly made my way to her house, speed limits be damned.

  When I got the end of her drive, I slammed my foot down on the brake pedal and ran the rest of the way up to the door. When her truck wasn't visible in the driveway, I made it back to my truck and tried callin' her again. Once again, there was no answer.

  "FUCK!" I slammed my fists into the steering wheel. With the amount of frustration I was feeling, I probably could've gotten into a fist fight and not felt a damn thing.

  I decided to try Cami as my last ditch effort to find her. If anything happened to her, to the mother of my unborn child, I would never forgive myself. After the third ring, I was about to give up, but then I heard yelling comin' from the other end.

  "Hello? Cami, Cami is that you?" I could hear the fear rising in my voice and I could only hope that she could too.

  "What do you want?" Okay, definitely not the reaction I was hopin' for.

  "Is she with you?"

  "Not that it's any of your god damn business, but yeah, she's here. And no you are not welcome to come here. I don't know what has gotten into you Madison, but you don't deserve someone like Kayla. She deserves far more than what you are willing to give. She needs time, so just leave her be for now. You got it, cowboy?"

  I was livid and could spit nails by the way she was talkin' to me. Who the hell did she think she was? "Cami, with all do respect, I'm the father of her baby. I have every right to talk to her."

  "No Madison, you did have every right, until you turned into a self righteous asshole. If she wants to talk to you, she'll call you. Goodbye Madison."

  "CAMI, WAIT!!" It was too late. By the time I had tried to get her attention, to make her listen, she had already hung up on me. How did I ruin something so wonderful, so fast? There was no way I could live my life without her, or our child. I was going to do whatever it took to get her back. I needed her and I knew deep down, she needed me.

  Chapter 6

  Kayla

  "I tried to tell you that he would worry too much about whether or not it was his. No matter what I say or prove it to him, he's always going to question whether or not it's really his baby. I don't want to be with someone like that. Honestly, I'd rather be alone." I sat my tired ass down on the couch across from Cami and Glenn. I was feelin' defeated and just needed to rest.

  "Honey, I know right now you feel that way, but trust me, he wants to be part of this. He wants you and I know he wants that baby. You didn't hear the tone in his voice. I could hear the tears behind his words. It nearly killed me to say the things I said to him. Maybe you all just need to sit down and have a talk. I could mediate it for you."

  I shook my head. "Talkin' to Madison is the last thing I want to do right now. I just need a day or two to get my shit in order, before I try to figure things out with him. I'm gonna head home. It's gettin' late and I don't want the grandparents to start to worry. Not only that, now I get to break the news to them."

  I stood to say good-bye to Cami, but was shocked when she started sayin' good-bye to Glenn instead of me. "Cam, you can stay, it's not a big deal."

  "Nope, my best friend needs me and she comes first. No offense baby, but I will see you tomorrow when you take me to the airport. Love ya."

  I gave a small wave in Glenn's direction and scurried out the door to my truck. I was about to jump in the driver seat when Cami snagged my keys from my hand.

  "I'll drive. No need to put you and that baby in any unnecessary trouble." I couldn't help but smile at how attentive and sweet she was being.

  We sat in silence on the short ride home. When we stopped at the four way stop at the edge of town, I was about to ask her how things were going in the Glenn department, when I heard the sound of shattering glass all around the cab of the truck. I could feel the cool metal crunching against my body as my head jerked forward, slamming into the deployed airbag. Everything began moving in slow motion and I watched as my best friend found herself being ejected through the windshield. I could feel my limbs reaching out for her, but I was stuck. I sucked in a ragged breath tryin' to scream her name. As my arm reached for her motionless body, everything went black.

  *****

  My eyes fluttered open and I couldn't make out anything around me. I was confused and in a foggy haze. I was in a small room, but it wasn't mine. When I heard faint voices coming from outside of the claustrophobic room, I tri
ed to scream, but nothing came out. I lifted my heavy arm up to my throat, trailing the large plastic tubing that lead to my mouth. I felt as though I was drowning and an overwhelming fear fell over me.

  I was choking. There was a large foreign object obstructing my breathing and I quickly began to panic. What the hell had happened? Where the hell was I, and why was there nobody around? I started pulling the large blue tube from my mouth and instantly began gagging on whatever it was I was removing.

  Seconds later, about a million people dressed in blue scrubs came rushing through the door, holding down my arms and legs as I thrashed about. A tall man in a white coat gently began removing the tubing and what felt like an eternity later, I was finally able to breathe normally again. My body instantly relaxed and I took in a long deliberate breath before the other nurses lifted their grip on my limbs.

  "Wh...wha.."

  "Don't try to speak yet, Miss James. Just relax. You were in an accident. We had to put you on a breathing machine when you came in with a collapsed lung. You're gonna be okay, but it's going to be very hard for you to speak for a little bit."

  "Ca...mm..i?" I could barely croak out her name. My throat burned as though I swallowed a gallon of salt water.

  The doctor gently laid his hand on my shoulder and I could feel the salty tears fall from the corner of my eyes. Oh my god what happened to her? Is she alive? I was having a hard time remembering anything, and now I wasn't sure if I even wanted to.

  "There's a man here insisting on seeing you. Just nod your head if that's okay."

  I nodded my head faster than I ever had before. The only thing I could remember was the horrible fight I had with Madison, and I needed to see him. I needed to know that we were okay.

  "Okay, I'll go grab him now. You just rest."

  My eyes were beginning to get extremely heavy and I knew sleep would soon take over, but I tried my damnedest to wait until I could see his face. I must not have done a good job, because when I finally opened my eyes again, the room was empty. My fingers rapidly searched for the call button I remembered the doctor setting next to me, but I came up empty handed.

  My fingers grazed something warm and I almost jumped off of the bed at the touch. My head shot to the side and my entire body instantly relaxed at the sight of his weary face. I opened my mouth to speak, but he stopped me by pressing his wet lips against my dry mouth. My eyes fluttered shut as my heart rate skyrocketed at the physical contact. Just as I was about to deepen the kiss, Madison pulled back clutching my face in between his hands.

  "I thought I had lost you. I'm so sorry, pretty girl. Please forgive me."

  A small smile spread across my face and I could tell he couldn't help but smile in return.

  "How's Cami?" My words were strained, but were coming out more clearly than before.

  Madison dropped his hands from my face and I caught his face before it hit the bed. I had prepared myself for the awful news I knew I would receive, but the words that came out of his mouth shook me to my core.

  "Her mother had her airlifted home. Her injuries were pretty extensive, but she is home now and doing okay. Her mother said she would have her call you in the next couple of days."

  "How long... have-"

  "You've been out for two days."

  Panic rushed through me as my hands instinctively flew down to my belly. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks and I couldn't help but mourn the baby that I was almost sure I had lost. Given the fact that I was barely even ten weeks, there was no possible way that such a small fetus could've made it through that amount of trauma.

  "The baby is fine. The doctor promised me that it would be okay. You had no internal bleeding and everything checked out when they brought you in. The only injuries you sustained were a collapsed lung and a concussion." His hand reached out covering mine as I caressed the small bump underneath. "I love you Kayla. I love you and our unborn child. There is nothin' else in this world that would make me happier than to be with the both of you. Please, please let me be there for you?"

  I ran my fingers back through his hair as he gently rested his head against my belly. I had never seen Madison look sexier in all the time I had known him, and trust me he did sexy without even tryin'.

  "That's all I want." I whispered just before his lips covered mine.

  Chapter 7

  Madison

  Kayla was back at school today and I found myself wandering aimlessly around the house. I knew I was makin' my gran crazy, but I couldn't bring myself to sit still, waitin' for her to get home. So much had changed in the last week that my mind was still havin' a hard time comprehending it all. I was gonna be a daddy. It seemed so unreal. Never in a million years did I expect to be a daddy at the age of eighteen almost nineteen, let alone meet the love of my life, just months prior.

  I was makin' my way out back when I felt a small hand clutch my elbow. When I turned, I came face to face with my gran. "You scared me." I whispered as I placed a gentle kiss to the top her head.

  "Sorry honey. Come, sit with me outside for a minute. There is somethin' I need to talk to ya about."

  Every time she said those words, I became worried. Last time it was to tell me that my granddad had died, the time before that it was to stay away from Kayla and the time before that was when my father had been put away. Nothin' good came from those words.

  I motioned for my gran to sit in the rocking chair closest to us, as I took the other one. "So, what's goin' on?" I asked hesitantly.

  Her hands reached for mine, cradling them in hers. "How far along is she?"

  Her words floored me. I hadn't told a single soul and I knew that Kayla hadn't told her grandparents yet. "How did you-"

  "Do you take me for a fool, Madison? I've been around much longer than most people and I can tell when "things" are happening. So, how far along?"

  I wasn't as surprised as I should've been. My gran was a very perceptive old lady. She knew things months before anyone would say anything. "About ten weeks."

  "And is it yours?"

  "Gran!"

  "Madi, her grandmother told me about what happened when you left. She needed an ear to listen, and I just happened to lend mine. Kayla has no idea, so you best not tell her. I don't want her thinkin' her grandma was gossipin' or anything like that."

  I shook my head. I was shocked at the little circle Mrs. James and my gran had slowly forged.

  "She says it's mine. She was at the doctor the day of the accident. She says the time she conceived was after I had gotten back from college. But, I did make the mistake of askin' her that very same question."

  "Madison Leroy Raine! Well no wonder that girl was runnin' away from you. Even if you had a thought that it couldn't be yours, you never ask a woman that. You let her come to you with that information. Ya hear me, young man."

  "Yes Gran, I got it now. I would've been with her regardless Gran, honest to god. That girl is my entire world. I would give my life for her."

  "I know you would, honey. I know. So now onto the awkward question, have you heard from that no good, piece of shit father of yours?"

  The language my gran was usin’ took me back. Lydia Raine rarely if ever used language like that, and I couldn't help but wonder what it was about my father that had her so mad. "No I haven't. Should I have?"

  "You know the police say the car that hit that poor girl's truck was one like the one I saw your father drive away in the other day. I'm not accusin', but somethin' don't seem right."

  She must've felt me tense beneath her touch, because her grip on my wrist tightened as she continued on with her next sentence. "Now don't you go bein' a detective, you leave this matter to the police. The only reason I brought it up was because your granddaddy’s lawyer said he had gone by and spoken with your father, before he came to see me the other day. There's somethin' I need to tell you Madison. I need you to listen carefully to me. Can you do that?"

  "Of course, Gran. What is it?" I was preparing myself for the worse.r />
  "Your granddaddy and I have spent our entire lives savin' for our child and then our grandchild. Your granddad made sure that if anything ever happened to either of us that you would be taken care of. When he started getting real sick, he had our lawyer come out and change our will. Everything that was supposed to go to your father was added to your half.

  After your father was sent away, your granddad wanted to believe that he would get out a changed man, but I think deep down he knew better. Madison, you are about to inherit everything and more. You will have everything in a trust fund that we had set up for you, and the farm. It's yours now."

  I shot up from my chair, catching myself on the railing as all the blood rushed to my head. I hunched over the banister trying to catch my breath. Everything she was sayin' was indicating that she wouldn't be around much longer and that scared the ever livin' shit out of me. I couldn't stand the thought of losin' her too. I turned around leanin' against the railing before I could find the words to respond.

  "Gran, are you sayin' that you'll be "leaving" me soon too? Because all the money in the world wouldn't matter if I lost you too."

  She quickly rose from her seat, wrapping her small frail arms around my waist. "Oh Madison, no that's not what I'm sayin' at all. I'm just preparin' ya. Your daddy isn’t too thrilled with the news and I reckon he may want a round two with ya. That's all, my sweet boy."

  "Hey Gran?"

  "Yes, love."

  "I'm thinkin' of sellin' the house back home. Now that Kayla is here and given the current situation, I just feel like it's the right thing to do."

  "Madison, are you sure? I know how much that house means to you."

  "It used to mean a lot to me, but now it's just tainted with the sour memories of my dead beat father. My mom lives in my heart and I honestly think that she would want me to do what I felt was best for my family now."

  "You're a smart man Madison, and I couldn't be more proud of you. You know that, right?"