by Zara Rivas
"Which is exactly why you can't come," he knelt in front of me. "I'm going to try my best to get out of there as fast as possible. You know it'll be impossible if I'm spending all my time worrying about you."
I didn't respond. He was right. I wanted to see every corner of the world, but not during war time. I didn't want to have to worry about surviving, though I knew I would be worried about my dad the whole time he was gone. And he shouldn't have to worry about me.
It was laughable how badly things had gone in the last week. I had lost every friend I'd made and now I was going to be stuck in Wisconsin with people who wanted nothing to do with me. Things would have been so much easier if I never would have allowed myself to get close to them.
"Maybe things with Casey will get better," my dad offered, trying to help.
I smiled weakly and shook my head, "It's way beyond that point."
He wrapped his arms around me tightly and I hugged him back, not wanting to let go. "Your things are already at your mom's," he whispered. "I know it's not going to be easy, Katie, but she does love you. I promise I'll be back as soon as I can."
I nodded, willing myself not to cry. Dad never knew how to deal with it properly and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. When we separated, he actually looked close to tears himself. "I love you, Kate," he said.
"Love you too," I forced a smile. I knew he could tell, but it was the best I could do. He dropped his hand on my mother's shoulder, whispered something to her, and walked out the door. I had no idea when I'd see him again.
Mom didn't say anything to me. She just helped me grab the remaining few things I had in the apartment and we drove together to her new home in silence, deciding to come back for my car later.
She lived only a few blocks from Casey. I couldn't look at his house as we drove by, knowing that most of the people I cared about were all there, thinking they were finally rid of me. Some perverse part of me couldn't wait to see the looks on their faces Monday morning.
Her new husband was waiting on the porch for us. His olive complexion and dark features made it obvious to me that he wasn't native to America. He greeted me with a kiss on the cheek. "Benvenuto," he welcomed me in Italian. I almost laughed that my mom, through all her traveling, found an Italian guy back in her native Florida. His accent was strong as he introduced himself. "I'm Gino," he said, "I hope you'll be happy here."
I nodded and he and my mother ushered me inside to show me the house. Gino seemed so excited to have me around that he showed me even the most obvious things, such as rather large kitchen appliances that I would have been unable to miss. Mom seemed to realize this tour could take all evening if he kept it up, so she took over, showing me my room and the bathroom I would be sharing with my new step-brother.
That shook me out of my daze. "I have a brother?"
She didn't bother to hide her surprise at me finally speaking. "Yes," she pointed at his bedroom door, which was on the other side of the bathroom. "Desmond is Gino's son from his first marriage. He's seventeen, and will be finishing his junior year at school with you."
"Bet he's really thrilled about that," I mumbled.
"Not so much," he said, popping out of the bathroom suddenly. He surprised me so thoroughly that I jumped about a foot and a half.
It was obvious that he was trying not to smile at my reaction. Desmond looked so much like his father it was uncanny. He had the same olive skin and dark hair, but his eyes were such a clear green they nearly took my breath away. I thought only the Fitzgerald boys could have such amazing eyes.
I shook my head, trying to rid myself of thoughts of Casey. Desmond was the definition of tall, dark and handsome. I had a feeling once he started school on Monday, he wouldn't hate me so much for uprooting him from Florida. He would definitely be some serious competition for Casey.
"This is Katie, Desmond," my mom introduced me.
"Yes, I did figure that. Unless, of course, she was another daughter you didn't bother to tell us about."
I took a glance at my mom, who was definitely wishing Desmond had not said that. "Oh, that's rich, Mother. Really." I glared at her before marching into my room, slamming the door behind me.
I didn't let my mind revolve around my mother's inability to care about me. I was already under the impression that was quite a bit difficult to care about. I glanced around the room that was now mine, wishing I was anywhere else. The room was bigger than any I'd ever had, and it was absolutely beautiful, but I didn't care. I'd managed to lose the two most important people in my life in a span of a week. Beauty was lost on me at the moment.
My door opened without so much as a knock. Figuring it was my mom, I didn't even bother to turn around. "You can call me Dez," my new step-brother said. "I think my parents were absolutely cruel for naming me Desmond."
I shrugged, not turning to face him, "I like it."
I could feel his eyes on me. I knew he was trying to figure me out. "You're not even a tiny bit happy that you're staying?"
I shook my head. It was true. There wasn't even a spark of hope that things would go back to normal. I had already chosen to leave Casey behind—even though it didn't happen, it was still the decision I had made. I had to live with that. I doubted Erica, Kari, or especially Stephanie would bother to try to become friends again. There really was nothing here for me anymore. The only thing I had was gone.
"I really hated you," he said honestly. "You completed screwed up my life." I turned to face him, surprised by his admission. "I didn't know you, and I hated you more than anyone in my life. Though, I guess, it made it easier, because I could just assume that you were some kind of selfish bitch that forced your mom to come here, even though I know it's not true." He paused, "I just figured that you'd want to be here. It seems that you want it even less than I do." I could hear a hint of an accent at the end of his sentence and it made him kind of endearing.
"So no friends?" he asked, sitting down apprehensively on my bed. I didn't respond initially and he laughed a little. "I didn't figure I'd be the one trying to get you to make conversation."
"No friends," I conceded. "Not anymore." He raised an eyebrow at me and I sighed. "I chose to leave. I decided that I'd rather be away from him than be close to my mom."
"Him, huh?" he said, noticing the slip in my pronoun usage.
"Casey Fitzgerald," I smiled cynically. "Just wait until Monday. You'll know exactly why choosing anything over him is a mistake."
The weekend went by too quickly. I found it ironic since the Week That Would Never End was only a few days before it, but that's life, isn't it? Time only speeds up when you don't want it to.
Dez and I spent a lot of time together. I got the feeling he wasn't entirely fond of my mother either, so we bonded. It didn't bother me that he didn't like her. She was rather insufferable. She gave me space, which I appreciated, though I think she realized I would have completely bitten her head off had she tried to come within five feet of me. Gino was unbearably sweet and fatherly in a very affectionate way. I found myself really liking him, which felt uncomfortable in some way. I hadn't heard anything from my dad, which was hard. I figured he would have called or something when he landed. I tried not to think about it too much. The whole thing made me feel queasy.
"Get out of the car," Dez said for the tenth time. "You're going to be late and I'm going to have wander around this school without the slightest clue of the location of any of my classes. Move."
"I can't," I said for the tenth time as well.
He yanked my door open suddenly and pulled me out of the car. "Stop acting like a ten year old with a crush and let's go. He does not need to know he affects you this much."
I sighed but walked beside him into the school. I felt rather underdressed next to him. It was something I had learned about him in the time we'd spent together—he was always impeccably dressed. I was in a simple tee shirt and ripped jeans and I felt like it wasn't enough next to him.
The whispers I had expected t
o hear the week before were now in full force. I wasn't the only topic of conversation, however. Dez had attracted quite a bit of female attention. I could tell he noticed, but he pretended not to. He was brilliant, there was no denying that.
"It's like they've never seen a guy before," he whispered, his voice full of anticipation.
"Not one like you," I replied as we approached my locker. It was empty so I dumped all my books back into it. Dez leaned against the one beside mine, observing his surroundings. As I closed my locker door, Desmond leaned in and whispered, "I think I found your guy."
"Where?" I asked.
"Pretty much directly behind you," he said. "With a couple girls." He paused, "He really doesn't like me."
I grinned at my locker door, still too afraid to turn around. "No, I imagine he doesn't."
"He's coming this way," Dez warned me. "Turn around and act like it doesn't matter, Katie. Don't let him have the upper hand."
I took a deep breath and took his advice. I didn't think Casey would be a jerk, but Dez was right. I didn't want to look weak. I was so happy to have him with me.
"Katie," Kari was with him. Stephanie and Erica were still across the hallway. "You're here."
I nodded. That was, of course, obvious.
"Why?" Casey asked tactlessly.
Desmond unconsciously straightened up at Casey's tone. I could tell he was ready for a fight. I wrapped my fingers around his wrist to stop him.
"My dad was shipped to Iraq and refused to bring me," I responded as emotionlessly as I could. He knew me and how important my dad was, but he didn't have the right to use it anymore.
Kari was watching the interaction between me and Casey uneasily. She glanced down and saw my fingers around Dez's wrist. "I'm Kari," she said to him, trying to alleviate some of the tension. "This is Casey," she nodded at him.
"I've figured that much out," Desmond said coldly. I tightened my grip on his wrist, trying to make him stop.
"And who would you be?" Casey narrowed his eyes at him.
I interceded before Desmond could reply. "This is my step-brother Desmond."
"You have a brother?" Kari asked incredulously.
"Yeah," I replied, "I didn't know either." I still hadn't removed my fingers from Dez's wrist, who was sizing Casey up. I took a second to guess who would win in a fight and I was positive that it would be Desmond. There was something menacing in his eyes. It was endearing that he was protective of me, but I felt that it definitely wasn't going to make school any easier if he and Casey were always at each other's throats.
"Anyway," Desmond interrupted the silence. "Wanna show me to the principal's office so I can get my schedule?"
"I'll do it," Kari spoke up quickly. She grabbed Dez by the arm and dragged him away before I could get a word in. When I turned back, I was surprised to find Casey still there. He didn't speak for a while, just stared at me, which was just as unnerving as it was in the beginning.
"Things aren't going to change…" he trailed off, refusing to look me in my eyes.
"Did I ask for them to?" I snapped.
This turned out to be the wrong thing to say. He raised his eyes to mine. "I'm glad to hear we're on the same page then," he smirked that awful smirk of his before turning on his heel and walking away.
I watched him go, ignoring the ache in my heart. This was the way things were now. I couldn't do anything about it, so I steeled myself, finally intent on doing what I should have done in the first place. I couldn't care about these people again.
Chapter Fifteen
Prom.
The word made me cringe every time I heard it, and I heard it a lot. It was just a mere week away and no one would shut up about it. Even Desmond, my only ally, was extremely excited.
I probably would have been too if every girl in school asked me. Surprisingly, or not, no one had asked me. It didn't matter, I certainly wasn't going to be there spending any more awkward time around people who didn't care.
I felt bad about the beautiful dress sitting in my closet though. My dad had spent a lot of money on it, and it was never going to be worn. I'd only heard from him once and it was extremely brief. I missed him so much—being separated from him was by far the hardest thing I'd ever felt.
It was lunch time, which had become something to dread. Prom talk was on overdrive and I was so tired of it that I actually decided to skip it.
There was something about May that I loved. Watching things come to life was amazing. Since it was a beautiful day, I headed outside.
Apparently I wasn't the only one with that idea. Within a few seconds, I felt five sets of eyes on me. I ignored them entirely, walking past them to a tree a couple yards away. I opened a notebook and started doodling just for something to do with my hands. As much as I wanted to pretend that I didn't notice them, it was getting difficult knowing they were all staring at me. Just a month before, I would have been there with them. It was amazing to me how much things had changed.
"…is just ridiculous," I heard Kari say. I raised my eyes to them despite myself and was more than surprised to see her coming towards me, purse and lunch in hand.
"Hi, Katie," Kari smiled genuinely at me, dropping to the ground next to me. She glanced at her friends, who weren't even bothering to hide their surprise.
"Uh… hi," I replied. "What are you doing here?"
She smiled sadly. "Why do you have to ask that? You shouldn't have to ask that. You're my friend. This whole thing is so ridiculous and unfair. Every one of them—" she gestured at Casey, Stephanie, Erica, and Blondie, "—liked you. Most of them still do."
"Not Casey," I said quietly.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that," she replied. "If he really didn't care, he wouldn't still be looking at us like that."
I raised my eyes to Casey, who had begun to resemble a fish out of water. His eyes were open unnaturally wide and he kept opening and closing his mouth, as if wanting to say something, but completely unable to do it. I was actually somewhat concerned that he might start flopping around, but Kari spoke again before I could ponder that too much.
"So if we're going to have to choose sides, I'm choosing yours," she said loud enough for her friends to hear, "because you're the one that's not making me choose."
"You don't have to do this," I told her.
"Yeah, I do," she responded. "Maybe they can forget that you were our friend, and a good one at that, but I can't. And I'm not going to desert you because that's what I'm 'supposed' to do."
"Amen," Desmond said, hovering above me. He squeezed my shoulder before dropping down next to me. "How are you, Kar?"
She smiled at my brother, her eyes lighting up. "I'm feeling pretty good, thanks." There was a beat of awkward silence before she spoke again. "So… excited for prom?"
"No!" I exclaimed, causing both Dez and Kari to look at me concernedly, "I came out here to be away from prom talk. Shut up. I'm so sick of it."
Kari seemed confused. "She's not going," Dez explained, taking a large bite from an apple he found in my bag.
"Why not?"
"Why would I?" I asked. "I'm not really in the mood to subject myself to more of what I'm already feeling now. I'd be happier at home."
"But your dress… come on Katie, you looked so amazing. Are you really going to let these people make you miss your prom?"
"Yes," I nodded emphatically, "yes I am."
Kari looked pointedly at Dez who raised his hands in defense. "Hey, I've tried. But she has a point. Up 'til now, everyone she thought were her friends ditched her. It would be kinda masochistic on her part to spend more time being ignored."
I smiled at Dez, who I adored for understanding. "Of course, the three of us could probably have a great time together," he pointed out.
The smile slid off my face. "Dez…"
"I'm just pointing it out," he said.
"Well, stop," I glared at him. "I'm sure the two of you would have more fun without me being all third-wheely."
Desmo
nd shot me a glare and Kari blushed. "You don't have a date?" she asked him.
"He refused to go with anyone who didn't like me," I explained, "Since that's… hmm… everyone but you, no, he doesn't have a date."
"Aww, that is really—"
"If you say cute," Dez interrupted Kari, "I might have to kill myself. But Katie does have a point. Would you like to go with me?"
Kari's cheeks turned a little pink, but she smiled and met his eyes. "I would love to."
"Great," I clapped my hands together. "If you guys are going to start discussing flowers, please do it elsewhere. My anti-prom self is tired of hearing about it."
"It can wait," Dez smiled and leaned against the tree. For the first time in nearly a month, lunch felt okay. I felt okay.