The Loneliest Girl in the Universe

by Lauren James

  I used to read loads of science fiction, looking for characters like me, but it was all so wrong that it just made me feel more alone. Now I read a lot of romance novels. I like the simple ones, set on Earth. Stories that revolve around coffee-shop dates and walks in the countryside.

  My fanfics are always set on Earth too. Museums and thunderstorms are so much more exciting than rocket ships and supernovas.

  When I play Molly’s new message, she sounds excited, in a way I’ve never heard before.

  From: NASA Earth Sent: 21/06/2065

  To: The Infinity Received: 24/02/2067

  Audio transcript: Romy, I have some big news for you today. We didn’t want to tell you until it was all confirmed, in case something went wrong and we got your hopes up for nothing, but … I’ve had permission from the team here at NASA to tell you that a new spacecraft has just been launched from Earth!

  Ever since the tragic accident on board The Infinity, NASA has been building a second interstellar spacecraft to follow The Infinity to the new home of humanity on Earth II.

  If we could have built and launched this ship any sooner, we would have. It’s a huge regret to everyone involved that you’ve been alone for as long as you have.

  As propulsion technology has significantly developed since your ship left Earth nineteen years ago, The Eternity can travel at much faster speeds. The Eternity launched successfully three days ago, and after a gravity assist around Jupiter it is now travelling at over 0.72 light years, which is eight times faster than The Infinity.

  Romy, by the time you get this message, The Eternity is calculated to be only one year away from The Infinity. Once in situ alongside your ship, the two ships will combine and continue together at the increased velocity of 0.72 light years. You will arrive on Earth II on 15/07/71 as opposed to the original estimate of 02/04/92 – a difference of over twenty years.

  To be clear, The Eternity is a support for The Infinity. I don’t want you to feel like you’re being replaced. The spacecraft contains a significant gene bank for many species, elemental stocks for 3D technological printing, and a large supply of vacuum-packed food for use on-planet while agriculture is still being developed. However, your mission to establish a settlement on Earth II will still be orchestrated primarily using The Infinity’s equipment and operating systems.

  I know this is a huge change, and it might take time for you to come to terms with the news. I hope eventually you will be as excited about The Eternity as we are. Take today to process the idea, and tomorrow I’ll send some exercises that will help you to work through your feelings in more detail. I want to make sure that you don’t let this affect the excellent emotional progress you’ve been making recently.

  What? What?

  A new what?

  A second ship is coming. Fast. I’m not—

  I’m not going to be alone any more? I’m going to have someone?

  There’s another ship coming in a year! I only need to wait twelve months.

  I break out into giggles, leaning back in my seat and smiling at the ceiling. I’m not going to be on my own any more.

  And the ships will reach Earth II much more quickly! I’ve gained back years of my life – time that I thought was lost in transit. I’ll only be – I count it out on my fingers – twenty … well, nearly twenty-one when we arrive on Earth II. I was supposed to be in my forties!

  I can’t believe it. I actually check to make sure I’m awake, because I’m sure I’ve had this dream before.

  Another ship. It’s the best news I could ever have imagined.

  Who are they going to send? Who’s coming?

  I stare out of the helm window, straining my eyes against the infinite blackness, pressing my fingernails into my palms so hard they sting. I can’t see anything except the silver pinprick stars.

  How long until I’ll be able to see The Eternity?

  How long until it will be able to see me?

  DAYS UNTIL THE ETERNITY ARRIVES:

  365

  The next day, when I listen to Molly’s latest message, I brace myself for news that The Eternity has crashed, or that it was all a joke and there’s not another ship at all; that it was some kind of test to see how I’d respond mentally.

  I can’t quite make myself believe it. Another ship. After all this time!

  From: NASA Earth Sent: 22/06/2065

  To: The Infinity Received: 25/02/2067

  Attachment: The-Eternity-Mission-Outline.pdf [1.3 GB]

  Audio transcript: Hi Romy. I really hope you’re happy to hear about The Eternity, sweetie. The scientists here at NASA have been working tirelessly to ensure it’s a successful mission, and to get the ship launched as fast as possible.

  I think that knowing you aren’t so isolated will help you to manage your anxiety. I know it’s a lot to take in right now, so I’d like you to write a list of emotions that you felt when you heard the news. Everything you are going through is completely valid: anger, joy, fear – it’s all normal and reasonable. If you want, send back a voice message telling me how you’re feeling.

  I’ve attached a full document with details of the mission and The Eternity’s timeline, so when you’re ready, you can read up on everything about it.

  I can’t stop smiling long enough to eat my breakfast – a packet of beige goo that supposedly resembles porridge.

  Will they send another couple like my parents? Or have they decided to send someone alone, since that went so disastrously wrong last time? They probably can’t risk another pregnancy. One person is safer.

  I let myself get caught up imagining they’re sending me a handsome young man, but that seems too fantastical. Whoever it is, at least I won’t be on my own any more. I’m not going to be on my own ever again!

  I’m going to have to share my space with someone else. That’s going to be so strange. What if I hate it?

  I feel restless, thoughts jumping back and forth until I can scarcely focus on anything but the new ship.

  As a distraction, I decide to write a fic.

  I know Molly wants me to write my bad feelings down properly in a diary, rather than writing fiction, but that would be too real. I’d rather escape into the world of Loch & Ness, where there’s Jayden Ness – my favourite person, even if he’s only fictional. There’s kissing in fics too. Lots of kissing, in every Alternative Universe.

  I always send my fics to Earth, but I don’t think anyone reads them except Molly. Back when The Infinity was new, before I was born, there was a lot of excitement and curiosity about the launch of such a long-duration mission. Dad used to say that he and my mother were treated like celebrities, but it’s been so long since we launched, everyone must have lost interest by now.

  DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

  by TheLoneliestGirl

  Fandom: Loch & Ness (2042)

  Relationship: Lyra Loch/Jayden Ness

  Tags: Modern-day AU

  Summary: Jayden is Lyra’s knight in shining armour.

  Author’s note:

  I had a bit of a catastrophe recently. An asteroid nearly hit the ship, but I managed to stop it at the last second. It was … stressful.

  Anyway, here’s what could have happened, instead of me trying to fix the problem on my own. Where’s my handsome rescuer, please?

  Lyra was texting when she first became aware of the shouting. She looked up to see a car swerving across the street, slipping on the wet tarmac. It was heading straight towards where she was walking.

  She froze in her tracks, knowing she should dive out of the way, but unable to make her muscles react. The car was getting closer.

  Suddenly there was a pair of strong arms around her, pushing her sideways, and she was falling just as the car skidded past them, colliding with a garden wall.

  When Lyra realized that she was uninjured, she let out a breath, relieved and filled with adrenalin. She peered up at her saviour, lying on top of her where they had fallen. It was her neighbour, the hot one from upstairs. He had brown ey
es, sparkling golden in the early morning light. There was a quirk to his smile like he was trying to hide his amusement.

  “You’re OK,” he said, his voice a low, calming murmur in her ear. “Relax.”

  Lyra sagged under his – very solid – chest.

  “Thanks,” she said, her voice cracking in an embarrassing way. “I’m Lyra.”

  “Jayden. It’s great to meet you, neighbour,” Jayden continued. “I just wish we were meeting in less exceptional circumstances!”

  She’d never felt so relieved. The tension in her stomach, which had been building in a tight coil since she’d realized she was in danger, dissolved into nothing.

  With Jayden, she was safe.

  fin.

  DAYS UNTIL THE ETERNITY ARRIVES:

  364

  My inbox doesn’t contain any voice messages today. Instead, there’s an MP4 file. A video.

  I stare, too confused to open it. I can’t think of a reason why Molly would send me a video clip instead of an audio message. NASA have always said that it’s too expensive to send that much data.

  Transmissions to and from Earth are sent by laser, encoded in binary. An antenna on Earth conveys the laser beams to The Infinity, where a light array picks up the signal and converts it back into letters, images or sounds. The uplink from Earth takes a long time, and apparently video files just aren’t feasible to send. It takes hours for the antennas to transmit them, compared with the minutes required for audio or text messages. What’s changed now?

  I’ve got a nervous tickle in my stomach at the thought of seeing Molly’s face. It’ll be the first time I’ve seen a real human in years. I eye up the file while I eat breakfast, brush my hair and get dressed.

  I tell myself that I’ve got no reason to be worried. This is new and exciting. It isn’t scary. That doesn’t stop the itching concern at the back of my mind.

  Eventually I sit down, take a deep breath and click play. At first, the screen is black. Slowly it turns grey, and then white. Dark letters that I’ve seen more times than I can count appear.

  Loch & Ness

  As the familiar theme tune from the opening credits plays in the background, I double-check whether I’ve somehow opened a file from my hard drive instead of the message. But it’s right.

  NASA has sent me an episode of Loch & Ness. Why would they transmit an episode of a TV series to me – especially one they must know I’ve already got?

  It takes me a stupid amount of time to realize why the first scene seems unfamiliar: it’s a new episode.

  Suddenly, I’m grinning. They’ve sent me a new episode of Loch & Ness! A new episode! Molly must have finally found an excuse to send it to me, like I requested years ago.

  When I was ten, I asked Dad to ask NASA for more episodes, as I’d just finished the seventh series, which ends on this massive cliffhanger. The characters – two supernatural detectives called Lyra Loch and Jayden Ness – had just kissed for the first time. Unfortunately for me, The Infinity had launched before the eighth series aired, so it wasn’t on the ship’s hard drive.

  In their reply, NASA said that they couldn’t send me any new episodes because video files were too large to transmit across interstellar deep space. Instead they sent me a file full of Loch & Ness fanfic.

  It’s the single best present I’ve ever received, especially because it arrived just after my parents died. I read the entire archive, and then started writing my own.

  I watch the new episode without taking my eyes off the screen for even a moment. Jayden Ness, the puppy-eyed and long-legged mixed-race selkie, and Lyra Loch, the no-nonsense feminist banshee, are trying to track down a fairy selling illegal love potions.

  The new series must have been filmed a few years after the ones I’ve got, because Jayden looks a little older – his muscles are more filled out, and there are a few laughter lines around his mouth. He looks good.

  I screenshot a few scenes, setting a picture of Jayden as my wallpaper. I replay his best lines, listening to the dialogue on repeat until I’ve memorized his latest witty one-liners.

  By the time the credits roll, I’m giddy with happiness and excitement. I’ve already thought of three new fics based on this episode alone.

  I’m about to watch it again when I notice the message origin. I shoot upright in my chair, reading it twice just to make sure. The video didn’t come from Earth at all.

  It came from The Eternity.

  The new ship is talking to me. It sent me an episode of my favourite TV show. Why? Why would they bother using their transmitters for this? It must have taken hours to transmit. And why didn’t they send me an actual message, even just to say hello?

  I don’t understand. My gratitude has dissolved into a mess of confusion and nerves. Someone on that ship knows I like Loch & Ness. They know that much about me, when I know nothing about them.

  I should reply. I open up a message addressed to somewhere other than Earth for the first time ever.

  I stare at the blinking cursor, trying to decide what to say. It hadn’t even occurred to me that I might be able to talk to the crew of the other ship. I type Thank you.

  I quickly delete that, and then feel like an idiot. This shouldn’t be hard, but for some reason I feel shy. What if I say the wrong thing, and make a terrible first impression? Should I be formal and polite, or funny and relaxed? This would be so much easier if they’d sent me a message first. Then I could just copy their tone, instead of having to try and work out what to say myself.

  From: The Infinity Sent: 26/02/2067

  To: The Eternity Predicted date of receipt: 08/06/2067

  Dear the crew of The Eternity,

  I received your transmission today. Loch & Ness is my favourite show – thank you so much.

  Congratulations on your successful voyage so far. I trust that everything is progressing safely with your journey to date.

  This message is going to take almost four months to reach you, but I’m glad that we can communicate at all, regardless of the time delay.

  It’s nice to know that I’m not alone out here.

  Commander Romy Silvers

  I reread the message three times, finally deciding that while I definitely sound awkward, I don’t sound as stupid as I could, so it’ll have to do.

  I send it off, then firmly tell myself not to think about them again. They’re still closer to Earth than to me, so it’ll take months for a reply to arrive. I should try to relax about it, at least for now.

  I used to be able to have reasonable conversations with people back on Earth. The ship has been travelling away from the solar system at just under a tenth of the speed of light for my entire life, so even though light is the fastest thing in the universe, messages currently take over a year to travel through deep space between me and Earth – and the delay increases every day.

  At this point, it’s almost impossible to have a proper conversation with anyone on Earth. When Molly finally receives my messages, even if she replies immediately, it still takes another year (plus the extra distance I’ve travelled since I sent my message) for her reply to arrive. Though at least I get messages from her every day, even if they are out of date.

  When I was little, messages would only take a few months to reach Earth from The Infinity. I was too impatient even then. At least as a kid I had Dad to talk to.

  He used to send me letters, when I got really annoyed with waiting for replies from Earth. Letters on actual paper (or rather, an old flattened food packet, which was as close as we could get), which he would hand to me over breakfast. It would always be something silly, like a formal invitation to play a game of hide-and-seek after lunch, complete with scrollwork, calligraphy and a hand-drawn stamp.

  Whenever I replied, it would never look as beautiful, however hard I tried.

  I miss Dad.

  I try not to think about my mother.

  An hour after I’ve sent off my message, an email arrives from The Eternity. For a second, I think it’s a rep
ly, before realizing that’s impossible. But they must have sent the message straight after the episode, for it to be arriving now.

  From: The Eternity Sent: 26/06/2065

  To: The Infinity Received: 26/02/2067

  Dear Commander Silvers,

  I’m delighted to be opening up an official line of communication between The Infinity and The Eternity, since in relative terms we’re now neighbors. As there’s not an established protocol for how to enter into communications between the only two manned spaceships outside the solar system, I thought that an episode of Loch & Ness would be a welcome opening gambit.

  I look forward to receiving a response from you in two years, which is how long it will take to receive a reply according to The Eternity’s computer.

  I wish you a safe journey.

  Yours sincerely,

  Commander J Shoreditch (the guy on the other ship!)

  It’s a lovely email. It’s a bit awkward and formal, but then so was my email to him. It’s a thrill talking to someone new.

  I’m rereading the message, trying to decide what to say in reply, when I remember that I already sent a reply to the episode of Loch & Ness, addressed to “the crew of The Eternity”. I don’t want Commander Shoreditch to think that I’m ignoring his email, or am too rude to talk to him directly.

  I quickly access the transponder, trying to cancel the transmission before it sends – but it’s too late. The message is already gone, shooting through deep space.

  I need to send another email explaining, as soon as possible.

  From: The Infinity Sent: 26/02/2067

  To: The Eternity Predicted date of receipt: 08/06/2067

  Dear Commander Shoreditch,

  I apologize for my last message – I hadn’t yet received your email when I sent it. It’s very nice to e-meet you.

  It’s strange to think that by the time this message reaches your ship, you will only be a few months’ travel away from mine. I hope that the two ships can unite and work together to make our journey as easy as possible.