Learning to Heal

by Cole, R. D.

  New Year’s morning I woke up to French toast and a pink wrapped gift on my night stand. It turned out to be a gorgeous silver charm bracelet with three beautiful charms already attached: a pink heart, the letter J, and one that says “Best Mommy.” I haven’t taken it off since Mason put it on me and don’t plan to either. After being fed a yummy breakfast, we picked up Grace and headed to my family party at the beach. Mom and Dad were so happy that Mason and I are actually a couple that they just talked and talked about future events that we could go to together. Jaxon and Trudy even seemed in good spirits, but ever since Christmas Tru has done more smiling. And that makes me happy. We are actually planning a girls’ spa day soon, and Cory, Trudy, and I are going to get our hair done then have a much needed slumber party. No penises allowed, and that makes me sad now that I have Mason’s.

  Glancing in his direction I watch him as he reads an article. He’s is so cute reading through the parenting articles I could stare all day. Wrinkles form in between his eyes as he reads with so much concentration, and when his face pales while his eyes widen unexpectedly I burst out laughing. When I take the magazine out his hand, I look over the page that caused him to almost faint and see a woman nursing her baby on a nipple cream ad. I have to admit I get a little pale myself thinking about it, however I won’t admit it. To be so sensitive about breasts you’d never believe that he loves to motorboat me any chance he gets. I guess today he’s bashful Mason and last night he was lustful Mason. My man and his dual personalities. Got to love it.

  “Jasmine Coleman.”

  When my name’s called I am jumping up and forgetting my purse because I’m eager to find out the sex, but luckily Mason grabs it and follows me. After the normal exam of temperature, blood pressure, and peeing in a cup, I’m lying on the exam table with him holding my hand, standing beside me. Our eyes are glued to the sonogram machine that Doctor Parnell is turning on.

  “Alright, Jasmine. Do we want to find out if we have indoor or outdoor plumbing? Or will it be a surprise in a few months?”

  “Are you crazy? I need to start planning names and nursery themes. So of course I need to know.”

  She nods her head and starts to probe my belly. She takes several measurements and pictures before she finally moves on to the main event. The waiting is killing me, but seeing my baby on that screen makes it all worth it. The sickness and nausea as well as the emotional roller coaster ride I’ve been on for the past several months seems like it never happened while I watch that screen.

  “Well today is a good day. It seems your little girl is quite the model. She’s showing off.”

  It takes me a few seconds to understand what she just said, but when it registers I squeal with exhilaration. I’m having a girl. I watch my little girl on the screen sucking her thumb and I fall in love all over again. My eyes are watering from happiness and I feel Mason kiss my cheek. I look his way and see a handsome smile. “It’s a girl.”

  “I know. She’s going to be just as beautiful as her momma too.”

  Reaching up, I run my free hand through his brown shaggy hair before I pull him down to touch his lips with mine. It’s gentle and soft but still full of emotions.

  “Thank you,” I whisper against his lips.

  “No. Thank you.”

  After wiping the lubricant off my middle, we check out and make our way to my car. “I’m starving. Want to go get some lunch?”

  “Sure. What are you in the mood for?” He opens my door and I get in while deciding what sounds the most appealing. But even though I’m hungry I am not sure I can eat with the news we just learned. I’m having a girl.

  “Why don’t we get your mom and Grace to meet us somewhere? And maybe Tru and Jax. Then we can tell them all the news. And how we’re having a little girl.”

  He stops the car and puts it in park again before we can even pull out of the parking lot. I look in his direction and see him looking at me in a strange way, like he can’t figure me out. My heart rate picks up in fear of my happiness coming to an end.

  “Mason? What’s wrong?” I ask cautiously.

  “We’re. You said we’re having a little girl.” He smiles and grabs my face before he kisses me. “I’ve been waiting for you to say that. To accept me as a part of you two.” Kiss. “Thank you for this.” He kisses me again and moves one hand to my stomach. I’m speechless and so happy. All I can do is kiss him in return and hope I’m not rushing this.

  After making arrangements to meet everyone to eat, we head over to the restaurant and see Trudy holding hands with my brother. They look so good together. Thoughts of them giving my little girl a cousin invade my brain. That would be so awesome, but I know Jax really wants to get through med school first before he has babies, or at least that was the plan before Tru walked into his life.

  Mason comes around and opens my door. After helping me out, he kisses my cheek. “I love you.”

  Hearing those words seem to cast a spell on my body. One that causes me to become speechless and warm. I can’t say it back because … because … hell, I’m scared. I care for him so much, but I’m just now discovering my feelings. Jumping into love again even though it feels that way ... No way Jose! So I smile and kiss his sweet lips as response before wrapping my grey shimmery scarf tightly around my neck. It’s January and the wind is killer here in Mobile.

  We meet Tru and Jax outside the restaurant. It’s a nice local deli with some amazing soups. I can’t wait to feel my toes again. Even in my cowgirl boots with warm socks my tootsies are cold. After we sit by the window I start to worry about Mason’s mom Debra. She should be here by now. “Where’s your mom?”

  “I don’t know. I’m going to call her.” He pulls out his phone and excuses himself.

  I can’t help but think she doesn’t like me. Even after the few conversations we had she seems kind of cold. I just figured it’s because I’m new, but now I’m not so sure. Feeling a warm hand encase mine, I glance up and see concern on my brother’s face.

  “You okay?”

  I shrug not sure how to answer. “I really don’t know. His mom hasn’t really been welcoming to me. But I thought we were making progress.” Seeing Mason make his way back to the table I tell them not to say anything to him. Stubborn as ever, Jax is hard to convince but after a quick kick in the shin he agrees. Smiling at Mason while he sits down, I see his expression is gloom. “She okay?”

  “Yeah, but she got called into work. Chanda has Grace at the house. I need to get her soon though. She has a date or something later.”

  On one hand I’m aggravated with the thought of Chanda having Grace, but then I feel relief that she has a date and maybe she’ll stop being a bitch toward me. I wouldn’t care if I could bust her in the mouth, but with me being pregnant that is a definite no-no. Smiling with the thought of a daughter, I rub my tummy and my bad mood disappears.

  “Well then let’s call Mom and Dad on speaker so we can share the news with everyone.”

  After our food is delivered and Mom and Dad are called, Mason and I announce we’re having a girl. I instantly reach across the table and latch hands with Tru. Relief is visible in her eyes and I’m sure if I were having a boy this would be torture for her. Jax and Mason do a bro-hug before he envelops me in a mean bear hug like he’s always done growing up.

  “Congrats, Jazzy girl.” His familiar smell surrounds me, and I can’t help but feel my eyes water. We’re no longer the kids that would constantly fight or laugh together. We’ve grown up and it’s bittersweet. I dry my tears before anyone sees. Today is about happiness.

  Mom and Dad are thrilled and can’t wait to see the sonogram video. I promise to come up real soon to show them. After being interrogated by Dad about my health, we finally say our goodbyes and finish lunch. Walking out to our cars I grab my friend in a hug.

  “We still on for our girls’ day, right? Cory has already stocked my cabinets with all kinds of junk for our movie binge.”

  “Wouldn’t miss it.” She sque
ezes me before my brother steals her away.

  Once we reach Mason’s mom’s apartment we go up hand in hand. Going in the door we see Chanda on the floor playing with Grace and watching Disney on the TV. When she’s not giving me a “go to Hell” look, Chanda is very pretty. I can see why guys like her.

  Mason walks over and kisses Grace on the head. “Hey, sweet girl.” He puts his attention on Chanda. “Thanks for coming over.”

  Standing up, she walks over and grabs her jacket that is lying on the couch. “No problem. Like I said, I love Grace and anytime I can watch her I’ll take it. I’m going to go.” She turns to me and catches me off guard with her smile. “Look, Jasmine, I’m sorry for the other night. I guess I’m used to being the third woman in Mason’s life. I got kind of jealous.” She sticks out her hand that’s decorated in intricate tattoos and rings. “We good?”

  Being raised in the Coleman household has always taught me to forgive and forget. So why not?

  “Yeah. We’re good.”

  While shaking her hand I get a feeling I shouldn’t forget when it comes to her.

  Tonight Ryan and I are headed to Jax’s apartment for a guys’ night. Actually it’s an excuse to be close to the girls, but nobody wants to call it that. A few games are on ESPN and beer is what it’s all about. David swears Jax and I are turning into pussies. But hey, at least we’re happy!

  David’s having his own girl issues. I don’t know what happened between Elle and him after their kiss on New Year’s, but every time I bring it up David changes the subject. Either he was shot down again and didn’t get any, or he actually likes the girl. I really think it’s the latter.

  Ryan invited himself to the party and called Lyric to show up later. He actually has a fight this weekend he wants me to go to but it depends on Jazz and my mom’s schedule. It would be awesome to see the guy in action though. Ryan says he’s a sadistic beast in the ring. That’s why they gave him the name “Devereux the Demon.” The name fits because New Year’s night he looked possessed while smiling at Jax.

  “So, Betty coming by tonight with my bay-bay?” Ryan asks while drumming on his leg as we pull into the apartment complex.

  “My baby, asshole. And no. She has plans with some friends. They’re having a slumber party or something.” I shrug, not really sure what girls do.

  “Hell yeah! Girls half-naked in pajamas.” He rubs his palms together. “I’m in.”

  “Not happening, dude. I don’t want to interrupt them or have Jazz think I don’t trust her.” I park my truck in front of Jax’s building and get out. I head up the stairs while fighting the temptation to check on my girl.

  Ryan quickly catches up and slaps my back. “Come on, man. I won’t mess with her. I want to check out some of the others.”

  “Only Jax’s girl and her friend Cory are there. It’s not like they are running around naked. I’m not even sure they will be drinking. Tru rarely does and Jazz is pregnant.”

  After I knock, David opens the door with a beer in hand. “Hey, dipshit. I see you brought another pussy.”

  Ryan gets flustered but I place my hand on his chest to hold him back. “Not tonight, David.”

  Ryan smiles and I can tell he’s about to be a smartass. “You know what they say. You are what you eat. So I guess that’s why you’re a dick.”

  Jax and I bust out laughing while David looks Ryan up and down ready to kick his ass. After bumping chest with him he finally joins in and they shake hands. “Hey Mason. I think I like this motherfucker. Even if he is ugly.”

  Ryan shrugs and takes the beer I hand him. After I sit down Jax’s new dog Hero runs over and jumps in my lap. He’s only four or five months old but heavy as hell. These dogs are bred to attack lions in Africa, so I can only imagine the damage he’ll do to an intruder. The police have been worried about some drug dealer in Atlanta coming after Tru since her attack a few months back. So far nothing has turned up and sometimes no news is not good news.

  We turn on the TV and watch some SEC football bowl game that’s on. I really don’t care for sports, but I’m enjoying the guys bantering back and forth. We order pizza a bit later, and soon Jax walks to the back with his phone in hand. Bet he’s calling Tru. Does that mean I can call Jazz? What the hell! I’m going to do it anyway. Making my way to the bathroom I notice I’m feeling loose and I have a buzz. I guess it’s justified since I drank a six-pack on my own and I hardly ever drink. Pulling out my phone, I see blurry numbers so I squint to see them better. After a few minutes of trying to dial my girl’s number I get it by just pushing talk twice. When she picks up I hear laughter and music in the background.

  “Hey, you. Having fun with the guys?” She sounds breathless and it reminds me of our post-sex state.

  “It’d be better if you were here.” At least I think that’s what I say. I’m not buzzed, I’m drunk. Geez! I am a pussy. Ha! I said pussy.

  “Yes, you did say pussy. Are you drunk, Mason Reed?” She laughs. I’m surprised because she hates that word. However, I’m also horny from hearing it leave her mouth. The background noise fades and the sound of her breathing is all I can hear on the phone. Maybe she walked away from the noise and wants to be alone while talking to me. My dick starts to strain against my jeans with each exhale. “Mason!” she says, and my name sounds so damn erotic.

  I swallow before I can answer. “Yes. But not too drunk. Because now I have a hard-on.” I rub my palm over it and notice how sensitive it feels, like every nerve has surfaced and are causing shock waves to shoot up my spine and down my legs. I sit on the commode before I fall over.

  “Really?” Her breathing becomes deeper and her voice becomes sultry. “How hard are you?”

  A growl bubbles up from my chest. The thought of her on her knees before me clouds my vision. “Very. So fucking hard.” I rub my palm over myself again and again. My hips start to thrust up from the sensation.

  “Good. Can you feel my hand as I touch you? Can you feel me stroke you? Do it, Mason. Touch yourself and think of me doing it.”

  What the Fuck? I think we’re going to have phone sex. A total first for me. And as hot as it would be, it’s just not good enough. I need more. And she’s close by. Only a building over in fact. Making a quick decision that I know will mostly piss her off, I take a deep breath push end on my phone. Hanging up on her was the only way to walk over and surprise her. At least that’s what I think in my drunken state. Walking through the living room I see the guys are into another game. Ryan catches my eye and sees something in my stare. Maybe it’s my need for Jazz or my hard-on tenting my jeans, but he knows where I’m headed without me saying a word.

  He jumps off the couch and runs my way. “Whoo hoo! Titty time, boys!” He runs past me out the door but comes back in and grabs his beer. “Can’t forget my friend, can I?”

  I’m unaware of Jax and David following behind until I get to Jazz’s door. Looking at Jax, I see he’s carrying Hero like a baby. For someone so strong and mean looking it’s weird seeing him holding a puppy, regardless of whether it’s a gigantic one.

  My phone has been vibrating since I hung up, but I plan on making it up to her. Knocking on the door I brace myself for her wrath, but when it opens I’m caught off guard. Her hair in pigtails with pink tipped bangs falling to the side of her face. The background noise of Ryan yelling some shit disappears, and I can only hear the blood rushing in my brain as I stare at my girl, who happens to be standing there in tank top and pink superman pajama pants with her hand on her hip, giving me a death glare. Without words, I wrap my arms around her waist and bring her flush to my body while never breaking eye contact. She smiles and wraps her arms around my neck. I know instantly I’m forgiven.

  “Surprise.”

  She laughs. “Hi.” I love it when she says that one sweet word. It reminds me of New Year’s.

  “Hi to you, too.”

  Noticing how cold it is, I move her inside and shut the door. Before I can do anything else she places her cold hands a
t the base of my skull and pulls me down so I can taste her lips. She tastes of all the things I love: fall weather, Christmas time, and hot chocolate. Mine! The word whispers in my brain and I deepen the kiss. Then Ryan interrupts. Asshole.

  “Hey, ass wipe. Stop kissing my bay-bay’s momma.”

  Jazz pulls away due to her giggles and I join in. Hers are contagious, especially when she snorts. “Let’s go get him before he destroys your place and humps your friends.”

  “I don’t think Cory will let him near her unless he wants to get shanked. That girl is lethal and can wave a lightsaber in a pair of six-inch heels like no one’s business.”

  We sit on the couch beside Cory, who is sporting a princess Leia hairdo and giving Ryan a “what the hell” look as he tells everyone how he and Jazz are getting married, but she wants to wait until after Ryan junior is born.

  Cory quickly cuts him off. “Hey, it’s a girl, you weirdo. Besides, it’s my baby not yours.” She winks at Jazz.

  “Whatever! Like anyone will believe that. You couldn’t get her knocked up because you don’t got the goods. And, baby, I got plenty of the goods.” He takes a swig of his beer and fist pumps David. Those two are going to cause some major trouble.

  “Please! I’m sure I have more of the goods than you two combined.” She points to Ryan and David, who quickly lose their smiles. “Besides that, I got mad skills. Don’t I, ladies?”

  Tru and Jazz loudly agree. “Sisters before misters.” All three bust into giggles. Jax and I join them while Ryan and David continue with the comebacks. Well, Ryan anyway. David seems to be quieter than usual. Maybe it’s only compared to Ryan.

  After about thirty minutes or so my phone rings and I see it’s Chanda. I know she’s off tonight and so is Mom, so I don’t know why she’d be calling me.

  “Who is it?” Jazz asks with concern. She’s probably worried Mom was called in and I’ll need to leave.