Alexandra Benedict - [Too]

by Too Dangerous to Desire

  Except for you.

  She was stunned by the sudden and bleak thought. It filled her heart with despair to think that Adam, too, might betray her one day.

  Not you.

  Please not you.

  Adam kissed her every wound and bruise, leaving his scent, his mark on her flesh. He wiped away the rough handling of the henchmen, the fear inside her with the oh-so-tender movements of his mouth.

  She curled her fingers into his hair, searching for his sensual lips. And she found them readily.

  He drew her bottom lip into his warm mouth, suckling. “Show me, Evie,” he whispered between kisses. “Show me where it hurts.”

  Evelyn shuddered at his rough and commanding words. Her heart throbbed, the pressure fierce against her breast.

  Slowly she touched her heart.

  Adam followed the movement of her hand with his eyes before he lowered his lips to the tops of her breasts and bussed her breastbone with exquisite tenderness.

  She swallowed the aching cry in her throat, fixed her fingers more firmly in his hair to keep him close.

  Adam lingered over her heart, nuzzled the plump skin. She wanted to drop back against the cushioned squabs, feel the weight of his body cover her. She wanted to take him into her lonely soul with such a violent desire, she trembled in need.

  After such a close encounter with death, her heart begged for life. It pulsed in her breast, demanding sweet solace. A touch. A kiss. A mark to prove she was still alive—and not alone.

  It was overwhelming, the loneliness, the intense isolation she had suffered since her sister’s demise. The need to connect with someone preyed on her mind.

  But the fear…

  The fear of getting too close to a man and being hurt—again—always stormed its way to the forefront of her thoughts, dousing the burning sentiments in her belly. Adam’s charming kisses wooed…to a place she was too afraid to go.

  Evelyn grabbed his arm to bring the spicy encounter to a stop.

  He winced.

  She quickly let go of him. “I’m sorry.”

  He gathered her against him. He was breathless, filled with restless energy. She could feel the tension inside him, the thrumming muscles beneath her posterior.

  “Don’t say you’re sorry,” he rasped. The man’s breath stirred the locks at her temples. She inhaled each breath he exhaled, as if his energy offered her life in return.

  He kissed the dip between her neck and shoulder. The warmth of his words and the hot mark of his lips stirred her insides with frightening passion, making her shiver.

  “But I hurt you,” she said.

  He embraced her tightly. “You didn’t hurt me, Evie. Not you.”

  After a few more breathless moments, Adam placed her gently on the seat beside him.

  She wanted to weep at the separation. She yearned so much to lose herself in his embrace, to let him crush the darkness in her soul. But she couldn’t trust him to do such a thing. He was a man. And like all men, he searched for beauty and pleasure to consume and control. She didn’t want to eventually find herself at the mercy of another tormenter. Her heart could not take the pain of more abuse.

  Not from him.

  Chapter 18

  Evelyn eyed the spacious bedchamber with white-paneled walls, furnished in cheerful shades of honey yellow and an indigo blue accent. “It this my room?”

  “Yes,” said Adam. “Do you like it?”

  He set the candle on the nightstand, illuminating the large bed. She observed the ornate headboard with majestic lion paws carved at each corner, and imagined sleeping under the quilted covers, safe in dream.

  “It’s very pretty,” she said. “Thank you.”

  She looked at Adam. He was a striking figure under the soft glow of candlelight. The shadows from the flickering flames rested across his features in billowing waves. The fiery reflection illuminated his eyes, too, aglow like two burning coals.

  “You should thank the duke. He had the room prepared for you.”

  Thank the duke? She was too wary to do that. She was surrounded by thick stone walls in an impregnable fortress, yet she did not feel wholly secure. Adam had ordered the vehicle and driver back to the engagement ball, and soon the passageways would be filled with the din of more notorious men. And then there was Adam. She was wary of him, too. He had an inexplicable pull over her. She craved his touch at times. Shied away from it at others. But there was always a restless storm inside her whenever he was near.

  Adam moved toward the hearth, his steps sluggish. Servants had already prepared the chamber, for there was a small flame in the fireplace and other candles around the room.

  “How long will I stay at the castle?” she wondered. “Adam?”

  Very slowly he tipped to one side—and collapsed.

  “Adam!”

  She hastened to his side.

  Brow moist with sweat, the man looked wretched, in agony. He grimaced and clutched his midriff.

  “What did the henchmen do to you?”

  That did it! Adam had rebuffed her quest for the truth long enough.

  Fingers quivering, she reached for the buttons of his shirt.

  He must have realized her intent, for he clasped her fingers and hugged them against his chest. “Don’t!”

  She could feel the heat from his body, the robust life. It burned her fingertips to press her hand against him in such an intimate way.

  “Let me help you, Adam.”

  She would not be swayed.

  He eventually surrendered with a grunt, and she parted his coat first before she set to work on the buttons of his shirt.

  Her cheeks warmed as the first tufts of hair appeared. She remembered how he had looked that day at the beach, near nude and wet and glorious. Her fingers trembled as she touched the wide expanse of muscles for the first time.

  But soon her eyes lighted upon the rest of his exposed torso—and the bloody bandages.

  Evelyn was sick. The blood seeping through the linen was a ghastly sight. She dreaded to meet the wounds beneath.

  Footsteps light, she treaded over to the washstand and poured the water from the pitcher into a bowl. Carefully she carried the bowl back over to the hearth and set it on the ground before she reached down and split her skirt in two. Tearing makeshift bandages, she immersed the material in the cool tonic.

  Adam covered his chest with his arm. “You shouldn’t see this.”

  But she grabbed his hand to prevent him from concealing the pain. “I want to see it.”

  Adam observed her with steely regard. The firelight danced in his eyes, bewitching her. He looked to be imploring her not to take apart the soiled linen, but Evelyn would not be able to rest until she had witnessed the damage for herself. He must have suspected as much, for he didn’t try to stop her as she pried apart the stained bandages.

  Once she had uncovered him, she gasped.

  She stared at the grisly injuries, entranced. The ugly swelling and blistered burns took her breath away.

  “Oh Adam…I’m sorry.”

  He whispered roughly, “For what?”

  “For your pain.”

  He sighed. “You didn’t cause me pain, Evie.”

  She picked up the scrap of silk soaking in the dish and wrung out the moisture. With ginger taps, she dabbed at his bloodied flesh.

  “I did cause you pain.” She dipped the silk back into the bowl, the water turning a dark red. At the sight of the blood, her heart cramped. “This is all my fault.”

  “This is all his fault.”

  Again she rubbed the silk across his gnarled muscles, the torment inside her impossible to assuage.

  “No, this is my fault,” she whispered softly. “I should never have stayed with you at the cottage; I only put your life at risk. I should have drowned in the—”

  He cupped her cheeks and lifted his head to press his nose to hers. “Do not finish that thought. What I do, I do of my own choosing. I suffer of my own will. Do you hear me?”


  She blinked at him, stunned. “Yes.”

  “Good.” He let go of her cheeks and rested against the cold stone hearth once more. “I don’t want you to fret about me,” he said with less heat in his voice. “It’s my job to worry about you.”

  Bemused, she nodded and resumed her tender care.

  It was his job to care about her? Why? Why did he keep insisting he had to look after her? He had already saved her from drowning, rescued her from the prince. He didn’t have to do more; he had no real obligation toward her. So what did he want with her?

  At length she finished washing the burns. “I need to dress the wounds.”

  Adam shifted to sit up. He was uncomfortable, she could tell. She helped him divest the coat and shirt before she ripped more of her skirt’s lining and wrapped the strips of silk around his midriff.

  She leaned forward to reach around his waist. The rich scent of seawater was still nestled in his hair, and she closed her eyes for a moment in memory of the night he had first kissed her at the cottage. The sea breeze and salt had lived in his hair then, too.

  “You should rest,” she said quietly, the binding complete.

  She gathered the soiled linen, picked up the bowl of bloody water. But Adam took the articles from her hands and placed them aside.

  He grabbed her wrists.

  Evelyn gasped when he dragged her between his legs and tugged, forcing her to kneel again.

  “What are you doing?” she demanded, breathless.

  “Returning the favor.”

  She bristled as he brushed his thumb across her bruised throat. She was trapped—in more ways than one. His legs sheltered her, but his eyes ensnared her with equal strength.

  “Do you need me to summon a physician?” he said.

  “No.”

  He hesitated over his next words. “Did the prince ravish you?”

  Her eyes rounded. “No!”

  “Do you know what I mean by ravishment?”

  She blinked. “Yes, I understand. Ella wrote me letters. I…”

  He pressed his thumb to her lips, the aggressive touch making her heart flutter. “Did the henchmen hurt you in that way?”

  “No!”

  She had denied the injury twice, but still Adam appeared unsettled. “I should fetch the doctor.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “The prince buried you in a coffin, Evie!”

  She shuddered at the chilling memory. “I know.”

  “He tried to kill you.”

  “No, he only wanted to punish me for deserting him.”

  Adam appeared murderous. She took comfort in his anger toward the prince on her behalf. The man’s indignation riled her own sense of injustice: she was not supposed to suffer like this!

  “What about the bruising, Evie?”

  “It’s gruesome to look at, I know. But I will recover.”

  He stroked the tender spot at her neck, his eyes intent upon the injury. The heat and pressure of his fingertips teased her already sensitive skin, and her flesh reacted to the man’s enchanting touch by breaking out into goose pimples.

  “Your voice is rough,” he said.

  At the sensuous roughness in his voice, her heart pulsed and the fine hairs on her limbs spiked. “It will heal.”

  “You’re exhausted, Evie.” He kissed her brow. “Go to sleep.”

  The simple gesture of a good-night kiss filled her with warmth, a balm for her tattered soul. She peered deep into his dark and shadowed eyes, stared at the reflection of the bed in the glossy pools.

  Again her thoughts returned to the image of her asleep under the thick covers…only this time she imagined Adam beside her.

  Shocked by the boldness of her own thoughts, Evelyn broke away from his mesmerizing gaze.

  Adam appeared equally perturbed by their intense connection. He struggled to his feet with her assistance. Briskly he said, “Good night.”

  He picked up his clothes and slipped back into the garments before he departed.

  Alone in the room, Evelyn was chilled. She gathered the soiled linen on the floor and placed it on a nearby table before she tossed the bloody water out the open window and approached the bed. She settled over the feather tick and inhaled a deep and soothing breath to banish the torment in her heart.

  But then she heard it. The distant din of male voices.

  They were home!

  The duke and his piratical brothers-in-law had returned from the ball.

  And she was alone.

  Evelyn tossed the covers aside and sprinted for the door. She opened it, prepared to search the castle for Adam. But she didn’t have to search very far for him.

  He was sitting on the ground beside the door.

  It appeared he didn’t trust the brigands any more than she did.

  “Come inside,” she said. “You can take the bed. I’ll sleep in the wingback chair.”

  “No.”

  She crouched beside him. He was hurt. He couldn’t spend the night in the passageway. It was improper. “Since you intend to stand guard, you might as well come inside.”

  Adam looked uneasy at the suggestion. She wasn’t entirely comfortable with it herself. But she couldn’t leave him to suffer in the passageway, either. Not after what he had done for her.

  “Come.” She tugged at his arm. “Let’s go.”

  She ushered him inside the room despite the man’s growls of protest.

  “I’ll take the chair,” he insisted. “You keep the bed.”

  He headed for the wingback chair positioned across the room and eased his battered body into the seat, propping his feet upon the ottoman. A hand draped over his belly, he closed his eyes and tried to appear comfortable.

  She frowned. “Do you need a physician?”

  “No.”

  He was curt. He tended to get that way whenever she challenged him.

  “I’m not your lieutenant,” she said.

  He opened an eye to ogle her. “Pardon?”

  She collected a blanket from the bed. “I don’t take orders. I’m not a member of your crew.”

  Adam opened his other eye to peer at her.

  Evelyn approached him with an unsteady gait. “I mean, I only want to help.” She placed the blanket over his torso. “Are you sure you don’t need a physician?”

  She quivered slightly under the man’s commanding stare. “I don’t order you about, Evie.”

  He slowly pushed the blanket down to his waist. She was engaged by the almost teasing manner of his movements, and she realized she had covered him more to hide the breadth of his physique than to keep him warm. Hide the tempting parts of him from her eyes.

  “Do you think I order you about, Evie?”

  He kicked aside the ottoman and took her by the wrist. He pulled her closer to the chair—right between his legs!

  Her pulse quickened.

  “I don’t want you to do my bidding.” He folded his fingers around her hipbones. “I want you to tell me what you desire. What you need.”

  Ever so slowly he pressed his lips to her belly. She gasped and closed her eyes in bliss.

  She didn’t dare touch him. She sensed her own weakness when it came to Adam’s hot kisses. He would lure her to a forbidden place if she wasn’t careful.

  And yet she couldn’t resist the incredible movements of his mouth against her taut midriff. It was such a contrast to the agony she had endured, the delight now coursing through her. She was eager for more. But she was afraid to ask for it.

  Adam, however, was not afraid to offer it as he warmed her belly with smoldering kisses. He nuzzled her midriff before he bussed it over and over again, making her quiver with a longing so great, she abandoned her fears for the pure pleasure he offered.

  He tugged at her hips and demanded roughly, “Ask me.”

  The blood rushing through her limbs, her brain was making her dizzy. At last she folded her hands over his head in a silent command for more.

  “Yes,” he praised weakly a
nd nipped at her through the ruffles in her skirt. “What else do you want?”

  When his fingers curled around the backs of her legs, and he stroked the softness of her thighs, she whimpered and bit her bottom lip to stifle the improper request:

  I want you.

  Adam ended the kiss.

  She trembled in frustration and longing, bunched her fingers together to keep from pressing him to her belly once more.

  “When you are ready to ask,” he said in a whisper, “I will give you whatever you want.”

  It sounded so tempting! What was he doing to her? What did he want with her? was perhaps the wiser question. Did he want to possess her? Hurt her?

  He offered her protection. Yet he unsettled her with each look and touch…and kiss.

  Flustered, she took a shaky step back.

  Adam rested against the chair again. There was an unmistakable sparkle in his eyes from the candle flames. But the burning glow seemed almost sinfully inviting.

  Evelyn swiftly clambered back onto the bed. She snuggled under the remaining covers and pretended to sleep. But she could feel Adam watching her closely.

  There was little chance she would dream tonight.

  Chapter 19

  Sunlight warmed the room. The brilliant rays danced across the furniture—and the sultry figure snoozing under the covers.

  Adam observed the nymph, her thick black hair mussed and twisted to rest across one shoulder. With her dress askew, the soft curve of her other shoulder peeked through the frock, and Adam had to close his eyes to resist the tempting image of what else lay beneath her apparel.

  Ask me.

  He bowed his head and rubbed his brow at the memory of his heated words the other night. Shame came over him. Shame for his wild desires…his unfaithfulness to Tess.

  How could he engage in such boorish behavior with Evelyn? He had promised to protect the woman, not seduce her…and yet there was nothing he’d rather do.

  Adam silently lifted off the chair. He was careful not to wake Evelyn. She had suffered great hardship. She deserved the respite.