Alexandra Benedict - [Too]

by Too Dangerous to Desire

  Quietly she walked out of the room.

  Chapter 29

  Adam wandered through the castle causeways.

  He had just ended his morning training session with Evelyn. Over the past two weeks she had much improved in both skill and confidence, for with each ability she mastered, she grew surer of herself. But the pleasure he had found in watching her progress was tempered by an unsettling thought.

  I won’t be a substitute for your late wife!

  He stilled, knocked insensible by the memory of her provoking words. What did she mean by the accusation? He wasn’t like the dastardly prince, seeking a replacement for his late wife. Evelyn was nothing like Teresa in manner or appearance, so the argument was rubbish. Besides, one cannot recapture the past.

  You’re trapped in the past, Adam.

  Once more the memory of Evelyn’s words disarmed him. He rubbed the back of his neck to ease the stiff muscles. He was haunted by the past; that much was true. And rightly so: he had failed to save Teresa from drowning. The weight of guilt was his penance. However, his desire to make Evelyn his wife had nothing to do with the past. He only wanted to do the right thing by marrying her. She might still have a babe.

  It haunted him; the image of Evelyn alone and struggling in America with his child. And the stubborn woman wouldn’t even think of wedding him for her own protection.

  Adam moved through the keep with brisk strides. He intended to convince her of the soundness of his proposal. Perhaps after a few days in a strange new world, she might reconsider her avowed independence? He certainly hoped so.

  “My lord.”

  Adam stopped and eyed the butler as he approached. “Yes, Jenkins?”

  “There is someone here to see the duke—about you.”

  The prince!

  “Who is it, Jenkins?”

  “He would not give his name.”

  Adam’s thoughts danced. “Where is he?”

  “I bade him to wait by the door; I posted a footman to guard him.”

  “And Lady Evelyn?”

  “She is secure upstairs with the duchess.”

  Adam nodded. “I’ll deal with him, Jenkins. Don’t trouble the duke.”

  “Very good, my lord.”

  Adam marched toward the entranceway, fisting his palms. His temples pounded. A hazy darkness came over his eyes, a thrumming desire for blood filled him.

  “Capt’n! You’re alive!”

  Lieutenant Eric Faraday greeted him at the door.

  Slowly Adam uncurled his fingers and stretched out his hand. “It’s good to see you again, Lieutenant.”

  Adam dismissed the footman. A part of him was relieved to see the loyal lieutenant again. Yet another part of him was disappointed, for thrashing the repulsive prince was a very attractive thought.

  Faraday grasped his hand in a hearty handshake. “When I found the cottage destroyed, I searched for you to no avail. I resolved to contact His Grace about your disappearance. But I didn’t think to find you here. I thought you were estranged from your brother.”

  “We’ve had a reconciliation.”

  “I’m glad to hear it, sir. But what happened to the cottage?”

  Adam said with considerable ire, “There was a quarrel.”

  “Why didn’t you come to me for help?”

  “It wasn’t something you could help me with, Lieutenant.”

  “Well, I’m glad you’re safe.” The lieutenant lowered his voice. “I have news about Black Hawk.”

  Once more the pressure in Adam’s head spiked. “What about the cutthroat?”

  “He’s been spotted, sir.”

  “Where?”

  “South Africa.”

  The pressure in Adam’s head diminished. Black Hawk’s whereabouts and identity had not truly been revealed. Adam was grateful for that. He didn’t need a scandal on his hands just before he set sail with Evelyn for America. And there would surely be one if word ever spread that the duke’s brother-in-law was the most dreaded pirate captain on the high seas.

  “Africa?” Bemused, Adam said, “How did you hear about him in Africa?”

  “After the debacle at Raven’s Cross, the men and I returned to the ship as ordered. Another vessel had moored not two hours before, the crew fresh from Africa and telling tales of a corsair with the heart of a devil.”

  “More ghost stories,” said Adam dryly.

  “Aye, sir, but I still thought you should hear it. We’ve had no luck hunting the rogue in English waters.”

  “So perhaps we should try African waters, is that it?”

  “I don’t see the harm, Capt’n.”

  Adam sighed. He had to feign frustration to keep the lieutenant in ignorance. “I’m tired of chasing shadows, Faraday.”

  “I understand, sir, but it’s reasonable to think the pirate might be near South Africa.”

  “How so?”

  “Well, it’s been four years since we’ve heard a credible account of Black Hawk’s whereabouts. Most folks believe the villain’s dead, but perhaps he’s just raiding distant waters. There is the lucrative slave trade in America to consider. It might tempt a roving buccaneer.”

  Ever the soldier, Faraday. Once committed to a mission, he would see it through to completion. It was one of the traits Adam had found so admirable in the man.

  But it was time to stop hounding ghosts.

  “We’re not going to hunt Black Hawk anymore, Lieutenant.”

  The older man paled. “But why?”

  “I want you to pay the crew, Lieutenant. Tell the men to settle down and be happy. The search for the pirate captain is over; I have another duty on my hands.”

  Faraday eyed the stack of crates by the door. “Are you leaving England?”

  “For a time, yes.”

  For forever, in truth—if he could convince a certain headstrong woman to be his bride.

  “Is it the woman?” said Faraday. “Your ward?”

  Adam didn’t want to talk about his “ward,” but he trusted the lieutenant enough to admit, “Yes, it is.”

  The color returned to the senior man’s features, red-hot at that. “Begging your pardon, sir, but what about your duty to justice? To the crew? We’ve been with you for years. We’ve chased the pirate Black Hawk like he was the devil himself. And now we’re going to let the scoundrel go free?”

  “You can sell the ship, Faraday. Or captain it yourself, if you’d like.” Then, thinking of Black Hawk: “Turn the rig into a merchant vessel.”

  “But Capt’n, these men aren’t merchants, they’re men of war!”

  “The war with Black Hawk is over.”

  Faraday glared at him. “You’ll forsake your loyal crew for a woman? I didn’t think you so ignoble.”

  The pressure in Adam’s head started to mount again. “It’s not that simple, Lieutenant.”

  He didn’t want to disappoint the lieutenant or the crew, but it was impossible to apprehend Black Hawk. And to travel the world in search of a ghost or a fraud like Hagley was fruitless. The men would never find satisfaction in justice, for the men would never arrest the corsair. It was better for them all—even if they didn’t know it now—to give up the empty pursuit and search for contentment elsewhere.

  The lieutenant demanded, “How can you surrender and allow Black Hawk to plunder the seas?”

  Blast it! How to reveal the truth to the lieutenant without revealing the truth?

  “Black Hawk is dead.”

  Faraday appeared stunned. “What?”

  “I discovered the notorious rogue is dead.” And it was true in a way. The Hawkins brothers had retired from piracy. “Now do you understand why the search for the brigand is futile?”

  “How did he die? When?”

  “You must trust me, Lieutenant. I have the news on very good authority.”

  “But the report from Africa—”

  “Is wrong.” Adam offered his hand once more. “You’ve been a good and faithful lieutenant—and friend. I thank you.
Pay the men well; I will cover all expenses. And express my gratitude to them, too.”

  The older man stared at Adam’s hand, a departing gesture. “Aye, Capt’n.”

  Evelyn cradled the baby in her arms. Henry Westmore, the heir to the dukedom, was sound asleep, sweet as a sugar plum.

  “You got your wish, Belle. It’s a boy.”

  The duchess smiled. She was still bedridden. Ordered to rest by both the doctor and her husband, she wasn’t permitted visitors. However, Evelyn was departing for America tonight, so an exception was made to allow the women to say farewell.

  “He is a darling, isn’t he?” said Mirabelle. “So quiet, too.”

  Evelyn chuckled softly. “Why the name Henry?”

  “In honor of a dear friend.”

  With care Evelyn returned the tiny creature to the cradle. She then looked at the duchess and struggled to keep her composure.

  “I suppose it’s time to say good-bye,” said Mirabelle. She, too, appeared woebegone. “Do you have everything you need for your trip?”

  “Yes, I’m prepared.”

  “Are you sure? You seem preoccupied. Is there something on your mind?”

  “No, I’m fine.”

  “Is it Adam?”

  Even the pangs of childbirth and a fever had not dampened the woman’s sharp eye.

  Evelyn approached the bed. “Adam asked me to marry him.”

  However, she neglected to confess the reason for the man’s proposal: a babe. And while Evelyn wasn’t even sure she was going to have a babe, she was determined not to marry Adam even if she was enceinte. She would not fix one mistake by making another.

  “How did you answer Adam?”

  “I said no.”

  “Why?”

  Evelyn shrugged. “He doesn’t care for me.”

  He still loves his late wife.

  “Are you sure?” said Mirabelle.

  “He only wants to control me. He believes he failed to keep his late wife safe, so now he wants to keep me safe in her stead.”

  “I see.” The duchess touched her hand. “Do you love him?”

  “No!”

  “You seem very determined to convince me of that. Are you sure you don’t love him?”

  Evelyn’s heart pulsed. “Are you suggesting I accept his proposal?”

  “I don’t want to meddle; it’s not my place. I only want to be sure you make the right choice. Don’t let fear decide your fate.”

  She looked at the duchess, confused. “What do you mean?”

  “You don’t want a man to control you, right?”

  Evelyn nodded with confidence.

  “You want freedom? The right to make your own decisions?”

  “Yes,” said Evelyn. “I want all of that.”

  “Then don’t let fear control you. Make sure you decline Adam’s offer because you do not love him, and not because you are afraid to love him.”

  Chapter 30

  “Welcome aboard the Bonny Meg, Lady Evelyn.”

  Evelyn took the pirate captain’s hand and stepped onto the deck. “Thank you, Captain.”

  The dark devil wasn’t so intimidating anymore. After a few weeks in James Hawkins’s company she had learned he was a caring brother and a devoted uncle. He was a surly brigand, too, but that character trait wasn’t the only one she saw when she looked at him now.

  In truth, she had come to understand each brother’s true nature. And with the insight, the fear inside her had vanished. She now accepted that not all men were like her father and the prince and the henchmen. That there were kind men in the world, too.

  “What do you think of the ship?” Quincy approached her, beaming. “She’s named after our mother.”

  The bright and ghostly blue light of a full moon pierced the white canvas stretched high above Evelyn’s head, illuminating the sails like clouds before a storm. “She’s a lovely vessel.”

  “That she is,” James was quick to affirm. “There’s not a bonnier ship on the high seas.”

  “I beg to differ.”

  There was a flutter in Evelyn’s belly at the sound of Adam’s voice. The familiar low tone always stirred her senses, made her warm, too.

  Adam boarded the schooner, the Duke of Wembury at his heels.

  “The last time I saw this ship,” said Adam, “she was sailing away—with my fob watch!”

  The pirate captain appeared indifferent, but Evelyn heard the humor in his voice. “You got the watch back, didn’t you?”

  Adam frowned. “Why did you keep it all those years?”

  He shrugged. “I liked it; it reminded me of someone.”

  And with that enigmatic remark, James offered her a curt nod. “If you’ll excuse me, Lady Evelyn.”

  The pirate captain strutted off, shouting orders to the crew. Quincy followed—but not before he offered her another charming grin, the scalawag.

  Alone with the Westmore brothers, Evelyn looked from one towering figure to the other.

  The duke was the first to approach her. “Lady Evelyn, I bid you farewell.”

  “Good-bye, Your Grace.” Cloaked in a fine linen mantle to hide her features from the crowd in port, she removed the hood now that she was secure aboard ship, and smiled in return. “Thank you for your kindness.”

  The duke then turned toward his brother. Damian had accompanied the party to port at the behest of the duchess, who wished to know if the Bonny Meg had set sail with good winds and smooth tides.

  But now it was time to part company, and Evelyn suspected the duke wanted a private word with his kin.

  “I think I’ll go to explore the ship,” she said.

  Quietly Evelyn moved across the deck of the Bonny Meg toward the prow of the ship. She stopped near the jibs, and looked out to sea.

  She inhaled the rich, briny air. A storm was coming; she could tell by the smell of the water. Clouds drifted across the night sky and covered the proud full moon, casting the ship in even greater shadow.

  She heard the distant holler for lamplight and closed her eyes to the disorder. Instead her thoughts returned to the tang of the salty sea. The scent reminded her of Adam and their time together in the quaint country cottage by the beach. She had adored the charming abode. But it was no more, destroyed by fire. So much of Evelyn’s past was the same: in ashes. She hoped her future would be different.

  But she wondered if perhaps her fate would go up in smoke, too. The duchess believed her ruled by fear. Was she right? Had Evelyn displaced the authority of a man in her life with that of fear?

  Yet even if the duchess was right and she was afraid to love Adam, it was with reason. The man still cared for his late wife. He could never care for her, too…could he?

  “Good evening, Lady Evelyn.”

  A cold hand clamped over her mouth; a thick arm clinched her waist.

  Evelyn’s heart pounded. She recognized the voice…Dmitri!

  A henchman!

  Evelyn struggled with her captor in the shadows, screamed against the palm pressed to her lips. But the bustle of passengers in port, the movement of the crew loading crates of supplies and cargo all proved a sound distraction; she couldn’t flag down help.

  Evelyn tried to remember Adam’s teaching; she kicked and thrashed and bit…but panic in her breast stifled her movements, made them erratic and ineffectual. She was dragged overboard, down a rope ladder, and into a waiting rowboat.

  The duke outstretched his palm. “Safe journey, Adam.”

  Adam reached for his brother’s hand. “Thank you.”

  “You are welcome to come home, you know?” said Damian. “If you decide not to stay in America.”

  America.

  A new world.

  It could also be the start of a new life for him—and Evelyn.

  Could he really be happy with Evelyn? She filled him with a pulsing warmth. If he dared to think too much on the matter, his heart cramped at the thought of being apart from her. But whether he deserved to be happy was perhaps a better
question. With all the mistakes he had made in the past, did he merit forgiveness?

  Can you ever forgive me, Tess, for failing you?

  “I should go,” said the duke.

  His quiet prayer interrupted, Adam escorted his brother off the Bonny Meg and over to the waiting coach stationed dockside. “Take care of Mother.”

  “I will,” said the duke. “And if you have the opportunity to push one of the Hawkins brothers overboard during the voyage…please do.”

  Adam smiled. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  Adam then spotted a figure with a familiar limp.

  He blinked. The crowd was thick and the character vanished.

  “What is it, Adam?”

  “I thought I saw”—once more a pocket in the crowd appeared, and Adam observed the same proverbial shuffle of—“Lieutenant Faraday.”

  “Who?”

  But Adam was already cutting through the masses toward his comrade. “Lieutenant!”

  Lieutenant Eric Faraday glanced over his shoulder—and took off at an uncharacteristic speed.

  Adam was swift to catch up with the man and seized him by the arm.

  “Lieutenant, what are you doing here?”

  Faraday resisted the arrest. But when he noticed the ominous approach of the Duke of Wembury, he must have realized he was cornered, for he cooled his heels.

  “Taking care of business, Capt’n.”

  “Don’t call me Captain, Faraday. I’m not your captain anymore.”

  The lieutenant did not even try to hide his rancor. “Therein lies the trouble, sir.”

  “Answer me, Faraday.” Adam glared at his comrade. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m here with the crew, sir. I had come looking for you, but it was a wasted effort, I see that now…Or perhaps it wasn’t an entire waste.”

  “What do you mean?”