by Steven Pajak
“I’m sorry, Ray,” I said finally. I wasn’t sure if my words sounded sincere, but I meant it.
“Just get out,” Ray said, his back still to me.
I nodded to myself. I turned to leave but before I stepped into the kitchen, I said, “Have your stuff ready by tomorrow evening, Ray.”
* * *
The dining room was transformed to accommodate Sam’s polling station. She’d shifted the table itself so that it was now horizontal to the front door. Sam sat behind the table so that she could face the front door and those who entered. A green plastic box beside Sam held the pieces of paper upon which each resident of Randall Oaks would write their decision. Sam had cut typing paper into small squares. A few stacks of these makeshift ballots lay on the table in front with three or four pencils.
Reggie was on door duty. To ensure privacy for each resident, the Rev was only allowing one person in at a time. The table was positioned at least ten feet from the door, providing a buffer zone. Reggie also offered his council to any who felt they needed guidance. While one member of the community stood at the table making their mark, Reggie would allow one more in and sit them in a chair beside the door. As I entered, Reggie was crouched beside Margot Abernathy’s chair, talking to her in a hushed tone, his words only for her ears.
I sidled up next to Sam and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at me and smiled and then went back to working on something in her inventory book. I looked up at the man who was currently deciding his fate.
“Hey, Harry,” I said. “You doing okay?”
“I’m as good as can be,” Harry said without looking up from his ballot. He finished scribbling on the piece of paper and folded it up. He handed it across the table and Sam accepted the paper, dropping it into the box without looking at it.
“I’m glad you’re going with us,” Harry said. “I wouldn’t be going if you weren’t.”
“I appreciate the vote of confidence.”
“So I guess I’ll see you later, Mr. Danzig.”
“Yeah, take care, Harry. Start packing. Try to keep it light, okay?”
“You bet.”
Harry did an about face and took his leave. As I watched, Reggie stood from his crouch, put a hand on Margot’s shoulder and whispered something into her ear. She nodded her head in response. Reggie opened the door to allow Harry to exit, halted the next person in line with a few words, and then closed the door. He returned to his consultation with Margot.
Using the moment I had alone with Sam, I asked, “How are we doing so far?”
Placing the pencil into the center of the book, Sam set it on the table and turned her full attention toward me. She pushed her hair back behind her ears and flashed her bright blue eyes at me. “We’ve had twenty-two come in so far, so not bad. I think we’ll have everyone’s response sooner than expected.”
“That’s good,” I said. “What’s your sense on how many are going?”
Sam shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t know. Most of them don’t want to talk about it and I’m not asking. We’ll know soon enough.”
I nodded in response. “Heads up,” I said as Reggie finally sent Margot off to write her fate.
“Don’t go anywhere,” Sam said. To Margot she said, “Take your time, dear. This is a major decision.”
Margot fixed Sam with her sweetest smile. “Thank you.”
After Margot left, Sam asked Reggie to hold up a moment before sending the next person up. “Sit down,” she told me.
“What’s up?” I asked, falling into the seat next to her.
“I want to talk to you about Wesley. Last night Kat and I discussed it and we both think that Wesley should stay here with us. The road is no place for a child and we’ll take good care of him.”
“I don’t doubt that you would,” I said.
“I hear a ‘but’ in there. Spill.”
“Well, there’s no such thing as a little boy anymore, not in the world we live in now. Wesley needs to learn to survive. And ultimately I think he needs to make his own decision about what he wants to do.”
“Matt, he’s eleven years old,” Sam said. “He’s still a kid, no matter what kind of world we live in.”
“Noted.” I stood and kissed Sam on the cheek. “Find me when we have them all. We’ll go through them together, okay?”
“Sure.” She grabbed my hand and to halt me. “Give Lara a big kiss for me. You two are so cute together.”
Smiling from ear to ear, I winked at Sam, collected my gear and headed out.
* * *
For the first time in a long time, I found myself with nothing to do but wait. All of the council members had their marching orders and were out doing their thing. I had already packed my gear, with Brian’s help, so there was nothing at home for me to worry over. Ravi released Ian this morning claiming a clean bill of health.
The crisp late morning air refreshed me and without thought I jogged down the stairs of the CP and turned onto Churchill. I picked up speed until I was at a moderate jog. My blood was pumping and the cool air filled my lungs. After a while I could feel my pulse thrumming in my ears. The only sounds I could hear were the wind and my own breathing. By the time I reached Steeple Drive I found myself at a full out run, my legs pumping like well-oiled pistons.
Three months ago, when the crazies first made their appearance, I had been slightly overweight and even a brisk walk would have me winded. Brian’s PT sessions helped me get rid of the mid-section and condition myself. We’d pulled out my Bow Flex machine from the garage and started strength training soon after. Running came next. I started running in the mornings, enjoying the time alone, able to focus my thoughts as my body ran on autopilot.
Trading Steeple Drive for Oleander Avenue, I sang to myself, American Pie by Don McLean. It was one of several songs I often sang while running. American Pie was long, melancholy, and always struck a chord deep inside. A song about the glory days and the collapse of ideals was something I could relate to, especially now.
Oleander Avenue became Encounter Drive and I pounded my feet harder and faster, each breath steaming in the cold air. My ears pounded and my throat began to feel raw from the cold air. I noticed it had begun snowing again and finally I slowed my pace and came to a stop. For a moment I watched snow filter from the clear sky. Right now it was a light dusting, but it concerned me. This looked like snow that wanted to stick. If it didn’t stop soon, we might need to reconsider our plans to leave tomorrow.
I shifted my bag on my shoulder and started to jog up Encounter before stopping about midway down the block. For a few seconds I looked at the cream colored brick ranch home with the chocolate brown roof and gutters. Plumes of smoke billowed out of the fireplace and were sheared by the cold winter breeze coming from the south. I walked up the narrow walk-way and hesitated a moment before finally knocking on the door.
Lara opened the door. Her hair was down, something I didn’t see often, and her bright green eyes were beautiful.
“Hey,” I said.
Without a word, she grabbed the front of my jacket and pulled me into the foyer. Before I knew it, our lips were locked together, her warm tongue found mine. We kissed deeply for what seemed like long minutes. When we finally parted, Lara said, “I’ve been waiting for that all morning.”
She closed the door behind and thumbed the deadbolt.
* * *
Several hours later, I lay naked on the sofa with only a thin sheet covering my sweat-sheened body. I propped myself on one elbow, hand against my ear, and watch as Lara dressed. She slipped into black panties and tugged on her blue jeans. Her breasts bounced perkily as she put on her gray T-shirt. As she pulled her hair into a ponytail she noticed me watching and smiled.
“Hope you enjoyed the show.”
“Of course.”
I sat up, pulling the sheet with me. I noticed I had my socks on still and felt ridiculous. My wife had once told me about her first boyfriend who would never take off his socks when they were
intimate. I had laughed until my side hurt. Now I was the idiot wearing my socks.
Standing, I looked around and found my jeans hanging over the arm of the sofa. With less fanfare, I got dressed. “What time is it?”
Lara shrugged and came to me. As I pulled my shirt on she slipped her hands around me and grabbed my butt. “Are you late for something?”
I shook my head. The fact was that I wasn’t. And there was no place I’d rather be right now that here. Embracing Lara, I kissed her neck and then pretended like I was a vampire and nipped her neck. She pushed away giggling.
“Your stubble tickles, mister.”
“I’m a little hungry.”
The knocking on the door startled both of us. Her hands shot out and grabbed my arm and I felt my shoulders twitch. We locked eyes, both of us with looks of surprise, and then laughed at each other.
“Expecting someone?” I asked as she slipped into her sweater and made for the door.
“Just my boyfriend.”
“Funny. Not.”
I shrugged into my own sweater and sat followed Lara. To my surprise, both Kat and Sam stood in the foyer. Kat handed Lara her coat and kissed her on the cheek before she saw me, probably with that stupid surprised look on my face.
“Hey you,” Kat said.
Kat was beautiful. She wore fitted charcoal gray slacks and a pink V-neck sweater with a heather gray shirt underneath. Both the slacks and sweater were tailored to feature Kat’s well-formed body. Her long blond hair flowed over her shoulders and the thin layer of makeup couldn’t hide the scar along the side of her face, but it toned it down so that it wasn’t the first thing your eyes fell upon.
I embraced Kat when she came to me and she held me tightly against her for a long time, so long it would have been awkward if we hadn’t been so close. Her lips brushed against my stubble when she kissed me.
Sam touched my shoulder and said, “Save some for me, big guy.”
“Come here you,” I said and pulled Sam in close.
She too was dressed fashionably, but a little more casual than Kat. Sam wore dark blue jeans that hugged her athletic legs and a light blue shirt with the buttons stretching against her ample breasts. Her dark hair looked styled. She looked fantastic.
Lara returned from the kitchen and took her place beside me. Her arm slid around my waist, her hand gripping my hip tightly. As her eyes moved back and forth between the women, taking in their beauty, Lara’s face never betrayed her thoughts, but I knew that she was comparing herself to these two women. Although Lara was pretty by most any man’s standards, she would never be as beautiful as Kat and Sam.
I leaned over and kissed the top of Lara’s head and my heart beat a little faster when she looked at me with her deep green eyes and that wonderful smile and her cheeks pinched her button nose.
“You two are so cute,” Kat said.
“They are, aren’t they?” Sam responded.
Both Lara and I smiled uncomfortably, both still too new to the relationship to accept the compliments without feeling awkward.
“You look so high fashion, both of you,” Lara said. “What’s going on?”
“Voting is over,” Sam said, “And I just—we—just thought it would be nice to share a last dinner with you both.”
“It’s been a long time since we had a couples night,” Kat followed up, “This is going to be so much fun.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Seeing Kat so animated, excited by simple things, did my heart good. The old Kat was back.
Sam ushered us both to into the living room and told us to sit while she and Kat got dinner together. Lara and I sat silently as the two women went into the kitchen and returned with a picnic style basket. Kat carried plates and silverware and a red and white table cloth which she draped over the coffee table in front of us.
“Let me help,” Lara said and rose from the sofa.
“Sure,” Sam said. She handed Lara a jar of large green olives in some sort of oil and asked her to pour them into a bowl. While Kat set the table, Sam pulled out a small cutting board and began to section a wedge of cheese.
The women worked in silence and I sat back and watched, thinking about how different my life had become, how much had changed. Three months ago I would have been on my sofa watching television with the kids piled on my lap. Or I would have been playing Wii with them while my wife surfed the internet, catching up on the latest celebrity gossip. Some days I would have been reading the latest adventures of Skippy John Jones while Katie and Mark splashed in the bubble bath. I could almost imagine I smelled coffee Alyssa would have been brewing while the kids finished up their baths.
I thought about them less frequently as the days passed, or at least it seemed that way to me, and I felt horrible. I felt like I was letting them down, disgracing their memory by forgetting. I closed my eyes now and recalled their faces, suddenly afraid that I would not be able to. With little effort I saw Katie with her two front teeth missing, her hair pulled into pigtails. I saw Mark’s crooked smile and I could hear his voice clearly saying ‘I love you, Daddy’, and then there was Alyssa, her wavy brown hair, her pink lips and dark brown eyes looking on at me with complete love. My emotions were getting the better of me.
“So where’s Wesley?” Lara asked, stirring me from my memories. I opened my eyes and saw that her eyes flickered to me and then back to the bowl in which she poured the olives.
Kat said, “He’s with Mr. Crankbottom.”
“Kat, that’s not nice.”
“Who is Mr. Crankbottom?” Lara asked. The corners of her lips turned up like that when she was amused.
“She means Raymond,” Sam said, again turning her glance to her lover.
“Wesley’s only there because of Cody. He loves the dog,” Kat said. She snatched a few pieces of cheese from the cutting board and put them on a plate.
“I think he actually likes Ray a little bit, darling,” Sam responded. She stopped cutting cheese and put down the knife. “He think’s Ray is a tough old bird. I think he actually looks up to him.”
“Oh, goodness, please,” Kat said and wrinkled her nose as though she smelled something bad. Plating some olives she said, “You’re giving me second thoughts about leaving him there with that bitter old drunk.”
“Ray’s not so bad,” I said, joining the conversation. I had to get out of the past and start living in the present. “He’s been through a lot and he doesn’t know how to deal with his pain. He’s just misunderstood.”
“Honey that’s so cliché,” Lara said and passed me a plate. “You sound like you’re starring in the Lifetime movie of the week.”
Olives, cheese and crusty bread decorated my plate. Plucking an olive up in my fingers, I paused before popping it into my mouth and said, “At least he likes my coffee.”
That got a good laugh out of the three women and broke the ice for the evening. As plates were passed around, Sam pulled out a bottle of red wine that she and Kat had been saving for some time. She poured glasses for all of us. The bitter-sweetness of the wine complimented the saltiness of the olives and cheese. It was perfect.
We talked through dinner, getting to know each other as couples, and Lara and I learned new things about each other. Sam and Kat shared their story about how they first met through mutual friends who had set them up on a blind date. Sam recounted how she’d known from that first date that Kat was the one for her, but Kat told us she wasn’t impressed. She thought Sam was a knockout, but she felt like Sam was stalking her, calling her the very same night after they’d had dinner. Lara and I also shared our first date stories. After more drinks, Lara pulled out Trivial Pursuit and the three women teased me for being a nerd when I handily beat them.
After finishing the bottle of wine, Lara excused herself and returned with half a bottle of Seagram’s V.O. that she served with two cans of cola. By eleven, Sam was quite tipsy and Kat said she wanted to take Sam home now and take advantage of her. Lara, embarrassed by Kat’s candor, turned be
et red.
At the door, I offered to walk the women home, but Kat smiled, pinched my cheek and said, “You’re such a gentleman,” and then kissed me full on the lips. Together, with their arms around each other’s waists, Sam and Kat made their way down the walkway and turned right in the direction of their home. We watched them until they reached Harvard Street and then Lara finally closed the door.
Lara put her hands on my hips and looked up at me, her green eyes red from the liquor. “I think I had a bit too much to drink,” she said. “You better take advantage of me while you can.”
And I did, with pleasure.
* * *
I woke sometime during the night, at first unaware of where I was. I had been dreaming of the undead men and women beneath the snow, their bodies rising all around. In the dream I was alone, and when I stumbled, the thick snow pulling me down like quicksand, they crazies fell upon me, tearing at me with their teeth and nails. Their fevered eyes came alive as they tore at my flesh, my blood staining them.
For a moment I lay still trying to catch my breath and get my bearings. In the dark room, I did not immediately recognize the shadowy outlines of the furniture but as my breathing slowed and the dream faded, my sense returned. Lara lay beside me under the thick blankets, her red hair just a light shade of gray in the dark room.
After a while I sat at the edge of the bed and blindly reached for my clothes. Dressed, I snuck across the room in my stockinged feet, closing the door softly behind me. In the kitchen, I lit the three candles and found the green box where Sam had left it. Taking the box with me, I settled down in front of the fireplace, enjoying the warmth and soothing sounds of the fire. In the orange glow of the fire, I opened the box and pulled out a handful of folded sheets of paper and started to read the names and decisions; some of them surprised me.