by Nako
“She’s losing custody of Kareem.”
The few niggas that were in the room had all grown to love Mahogany’s son.
“Say what?”
Munch remained silent, feeling horrible for coming down on her so hard.
“Yeah, so let’s all take an hour break. I’ll order something to eat.” Juice also needed a solo smoke session.
He found his homie on the side of the building with her head on her lap, sitting on the hot concrete.
“I know them thighs burning up.”
She ignored him as she lifted her head and that’s when he saw tear-stained face.
“Aww man, sis, it’s going to be okay.” He took a seat beside her and rubbed her back.
Mahogany sobbed uncontrollably, “I can’t fucking lose him.” She was hurting.
When Genesis called, it seemed as if he always had bad news and a letter came in the mail stating the worse.
Neka was really trying to stab her in any way that she could. Kareem was her last chance at bringing Mahogany to her knees.
She offered money, damn near everything that she earned in exchange for Kareem and Neka’s mother told her no. They wanted Kareem.
He didn’t know them folks, had never seen them in his life. Mahogany was the only mother that he knew. Neka was one spiteful ass bitch.
“You’re not. P is on it,” Juice promised her.
She was losing faith and couldn’t focus on this stupid album. She’d rather be home spending time with her lil boy, since she didn’t know what would happen until the court date.
“Put your all into this album, let it be a welcoming distraction.”
Mahogany wasn’t stunting that damn album. She was a mother first. Always had been and always will.
“I’m going home,” she blurted out and stood up. “Get me a flight home Juice, now,” she demanded.
He blew out a deep breath, knowing that P was going to be mad as hell when he heard of her returning to the city and the album wasn’t even halfway done.
η
“Unpopular opinion…Mahogany isn’t the only artist. Can we move along?” Jillian rolled her eyes. This was a meeting for the company as a whole, meaning the entire roster. Her second question would be, when is she getting a damn record deal because the energy that Porter was putting into this girl was sickening.
Casey was glad someone said it, because he’d damn sure been thinking the same thing for the past two months, Beauty By Bavay was all about Mahogany. He didn’t think it was fair to the other clients that they had.
Juice shook his head and closed his notepad. He was pretty sure this meeting was about to go left.
Porter searched the emotions, energy and facial expressions of his other comrades before responding to what Jillian blurted out, rudely interrupting one of his marketing execs updates on the latest campaign that had been sent out on Mahogany’s behalf. She’d also recently landed the deal as the new fresh face of Fenty Beauty, so that was a win for Beauty By Bavay as well.
“Let’s break for lunch. When we return I want to hear an update on the entire roster.”
Juice looked at his watch…that wasn’t going to work. Since Mahogany left Arizona, she’d been recording at a studio uptown and he asked Porter to pop in on her to hear the first half of the album. He had to say that she had improved on the amount of effort she was putting in and he knew it was because she was closer to her family. He cleared his throat and shot him a look, reminding him of the session. Porter honestly had forgotten that fast, he had a lot going on these days.
“Oh, let me guess, the Queen needs him?” Jillian was over it.
P laughed, “The Queen?” that was cute. She was in fact, his Queen.
“Porter, we need to talk. Juice give us the room,” she was always talking to him like he was a lil’ nigga. But really, she was only mad that he had moved up so fast…as she did a few years ago.
Juice wasn’t tripping though, he never did. He was a cool guy.
“See you at the stu,” he told his boss before departing.
Casey spoke before Jillian could get a word in, “You’re losing focus. This company wasn’t built on your girl. No disrespect, but you need to find her some management, so you can get back to the business.”
Porter was offended. “I never said that it was based around her and it shouldn’t feel that way when it’s over four hundred employees that get paid to do this shit every two weeks.”
“Yeah but when the BOSS has his ass so far up one client, it’s not fair. You don’t think people are talking?” Casey wanted him to open his eyes. Porter was too damn old to be so sprung.
“My question is if you even thought about anybody else before you took Mahogany to Fenty because Ari deserved that!” Jillian spat angrily.
“First of all, they called me for her and not the other way around,” he checked her ass.
He couldn’t help that she was a hot commodity, everyone was feening for Mahogany.
Jillian didn’t believe him one bit. “Whatever Porter.”
Casey shook his head. “I’m trying to see why did y’all get back together? You was just mad that she had got her own lawyer and was checking you about her money. Now you back chasing behind her like a lost puppy. She showed you once that it’s business with her, don’t be no fool, bro.” He was baffled.
The one thing that about his friend was that he always took it too far and lo and behold, Casey dug a deeper hole. “It’s like you and Kim all over again, only thing is the tables done turned.”
Porter clenched his fists until they turned white.
“I don’t care about you getting mad, nobody around you is going to keep it as real as me.”
Jillian tried to bring the conversation back to common ground, “P, all I’m saying is share the wealth. It’s other clients on the roster that needs your attention. I agree with Casey, she needs to get a team behind her and also a freakin’ record deal. I’m sure it’s some offers on the table.”
Everything that they were saying was going in one ear and out the other. The thing about love was that it always looked off to people that were looking from the outside in. They didn’t have a clue on what was really going on right now and she needed him, and he was going to be there. Period.
η
After a long, emotional, and frustrating week...Porter was before God, leaving every worry, concern, thought and burden at the altar. He was spiritually unloading his problems knowing that God was a God that would handle all things concerning him. He lifted in hands during worship, “I wanna tell you… I love you Jesus, I worship and adore you…just wanna tell you, Lord I love you more than anything.”
He sang from the bottom of his weary heart. Mahogany was at his side along with Kareem and Genesis. He was happy when he heard her moving around in the closet, looking for something appropriate to wear.
“We’ll be ready in a minute baby,” she told him quietly.
The “we” is what really put a smile on his face. Kareem was dressed like a little man in his suit and tie. Genesis wore jeans and a polo button-down. He made a mental note to take them to get tailored. Every man needed a suit or two. Porter had hundreds, all custom-made and fit to his tall frame. Mahogany stood up with her head bowed. He knew that she too, had a lot on her plate. With the album, the upcoming court date, trying to keep her brother on the straight and narrow, her career and loving a man who still had a wall up…she was talking God’s ear off.
He needed the spirit of forgiveness to wash over him because there was some resentment on the inside of him that he couldn’t hide anymore. He resented his birth mother, he resented Kim and how she captured him, he was young and naïve. She stuck her claws in him and he overlooked a lot of things for some unknown reason. Over time, he realized that he was looking for love. He wanted something that felt like…home. Kim preyed on that vulnerability and before he knew it, he was saying, “I Do,” and didn’t even love the woman.
After marriage, came her wanting ki
ds. Porter was in his prime, not only in age but in his career. She suffered miscarriage after miscarriage until she did research and learned that obtaining a surrogate would be better. Porter did whatever she asked of him to keep her happy so that she wouldn’t leave him. That fear of rejection and abandonment kept him with her, though he wasn’t being fulfilled or satisfied. Something was always missing.
Porter contemplated on seeking therapy, a conversation that he had with Carmen yesterday is what was pushing him towards laying on the couch and pouring his most intimate thoughts out. It was time.
Many people felt as if you had God, He was all that you needed and while that was true…therapy still needed to be sought out.
Apostle took the podium and motioned for the praise and worship to take it down a few notches. The pianist continued to play along with the drummer and guitarist. Mahogany too, like Porter loved the music segment of the service. She didn’t attend church as much as her man did but with everything she was facing right now, only God had the answers that she needed.
An on-time Word would do her some good on today.
“God is in here today, saints,” he said, for certain.
“YES, HE IS!”, someone shouted in the row behind them.
“You made it another day. Some of us been weary in well doing and God is saying, don’t you dare give up. You done came too long!” Apostle bolted out. Pointing his finger into the congregation. “I am here as a vessel to let you know YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE WHAT YOU BEEN THROUGH OR WHAT YOU GOING THROUGH!”
The drummer banged the cymbals repeatedly.
“My, my, my,” the mothers waved their hands and prayer clothes in the air.
He heard Mahogany sniffing back tears and he too, was holding his own breakthrough in.
“Y’all know I’m good for messing up a program, we don’t do church in order over here. God have your way in this place. I want to open up the altar. If you are looking for a church home, need to recommit your life to God or better yet, if you want to be saved today. Tired of feeling lost and confused about where your life is going…meet me down here.”
Many hesitated, few didn’t.
“It’s more, it’s more.” Apostle encouraged the church to step out on faith and receive salvation today.
Porter was saved, but hadn’t yet joined the church. Today, he knew that this was the spiritual home he needed to belong to. He left the pew and walked down the aisle to the altar.
Apostle was pleased. “God bless you son.”
Before he could say anything, he felt a hand slip in his and by the familiar smell of Gucci Bloom he knew it was his lady. Beside her was her brother, weeping. Genesis was tired of living how he’d been living. Today was a good day.
“Oh, families are being restored in this place. Now give God the praise He is due!” Apostle was elated at the crowded threshold.
The only thing that he could now say was, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
η
The first day in court didn’t go well at all. Mahogany had several character witnesses speak on her behalf including Apostle, who suggested that Mahogany come in for a few sessions with his wife when her schedule permitted her to do so. Only after two one-hour sit downs with the woman of God, they’d covered some ground and Mahogany was able to release some things that had been holding her bound for many years. Not only did she have Apostle speak, but Nia wrote a letter and Porter had a councilwoman that owed him a favor. Her lawyer felt confident in the case, but she didn’t see how because Neka’s attorney did a great job of making her sound like the worst bitch in the world.
The lawyer constantly brought up her past to the point where she felt bile rising in her throat and ran out of the courthouse as vomit spewed from her mouth.
She’d done so many things back in the day, a lot of it she had forgotten all about. But she knew Neka didn’t. Once upon a time, Mahogany couldn’t function without popping a Percocet, Zan, smoking laced blunts and drinking lean throughout the day. That was a long time ago, she wasn’t that girl anymore. She was a grown woman who handled business.
The judge did a great job of not revealing any emotions. She couldn’t read his face and that made her nervous.
In the truck on the way home, she sat with P in the backseat. He was on the phone handling business, as usual as she peered out the window, wishing this was all a bad dream.
The cream pantsuit she wore with a black ruffle blouse made her look professional, but whatever. Somehow, she felt as dirty as that other lawyer made her feel.
Why was she so dumb back in the day?
Although, P was deep into the conference call, he kept his hand on her thigh and constantly rubbing circles into her skin. She wanted to be alone.
“Can he drop me off at home?”
There was no way she could go in the studio feeling this way.
He placed the call on mute to remind her that, “You have a session with-”
She was fully aware of what she had to do today.
“Tell Juice to reschedule.”
She wanted to spend some time with Kareem, they hadn’t been to the park in a while and Genesis probably needed some fresh air too. He was driving himself crazy being home all day. Once she went on tour, she planned on taking him with her, and hopefully Reem as well. He would have to be home schooled, but that was cool with her.
“Mahogany…”
They were super off schedule and way behind deadline. What part of ASAP was she not comprehending?
“P don’t fucking start with me,” she was not in the mood today and he was liable to get cursed the hell out.
“No, what you need to START doing was taking your career serious,” he shot back.
She turned and looked at him. “TAKE MY CAREER SERIOUS? What do you think I been doing the past year? I went from the studio to court this morning. My ass not even washed.”
He was taking her there today and she was already irritated due to a lack of sleep.
“Do what you wanna do, I don’t care.” He took the call off mute.
“Yeah, so that’ll work,” he resumed the conversation as if he didn’t chump her off seconds ago.
She was seething.
“Vic, let me out,” she told P’s driver.
She’d rather walk or catch an Uber than to be in the car with this selfish dumb ass nigga.
Kareem meant way more to her than that stupid ass album.
“Keep driving,” he commanded.
Mahogany took her seatbelt off. Clearly, he didn’t know her, it wouldn’t be the first time she hopped out a moving vehicle.
“What the fuck are you doing? Aye, I’m going to call you back.” He ended the call and gave her all his attention.
“I don’t have time for this shit, you don’t care about me or my son,” she was speaking out of anger.
“Wow, I don’t care? Who hired you the lawyer, Mahogany?”
Not only did he hire her the best of the best, but he asked his friends to write letters and all for her.
“You want that lil ass money back?” she flexed.
Porter shook his head, he hated when she talked out the side of her neck.
“We can start our own family once the album is done,” he said, in a soothing tone that he assumed would relax her, but instead it only infuriated her even more. She took his words the wrong way.
“Kareem isn’t our family?” Tears welled in her eyes.
Porter took a deep breath. “Are you for real right now? You know good and damn well, that’s not what I meant?”
She was being sensitive right now, on top of the lawyer today stating repetitively that she wasn’t his biological mother.
“That’s how I took it though,” she didn’t tell him that she couldn’t think she could have kids anyway. They fucked like rabbits and she’d yet to get pregnant. Porter used condoms on rare occasions, when it crossed his mind. He barely pulled out of her on time.
“I love Kareem and you know that.”
She mushed him in the head. “Well watch you say to me right now, P.”
He needed a break. Casey’s words were getting to him in that moment.
“I put everything I have going on to the side for you, your son and your brother more than you think I do and you gon put your hands on me cus some shit that you took the wrong way?”
Typical nigga, making her the victim.
“Porter stop talking to me before I slap yo ass,” she warned.
“DO IT!” he yelled at her.
She took him for granted. His loyalty and the sacrifices that he made on her behalf as well.
“You know what, Vic pull over. I’m out.”
Oh, now he wanted to get out but when she tried to do that, he told him to keep driving.
“Vic don’t pull this mother fucker over.”
P would fire the hell out this nigga if he didn’t do what he said.
Victor knew that as well, so Mahogany rolled her eyes as he placed the truck in park and turned the hazard lights.
“Don’t call me. I need a few days to myself,” he told her before he got out the truck.
“What you mean you need a few days to yourself? I’m smothering you or sumn?”
When did this become about her?
“Did I say that?”
She smacked her lips, “Boy bye.”
The wrong thing to do was tell her to fall back, that’s basically how she took it. She was going to give him exactly what he asked for. He’ll miss her before she missed him.
Porter grabbed his things and hopped out.
Vic asked her, “Are you going home?”
She held on to her tears.
“Nah.”
Mahogany decided to be the bigger person, they both were stressed out right now. She opened the door and her red bottoms hit the pavement.
“P,” she called out after him.
He turned around. “What man?”
“Don’t walk away from. I need you… right now. I really fucking need you,” her voice broke as she let go of the hardness and laid it all out for him.
He hated to see her cry. Porter exhaled as he took large steps to get to her.
“Stop.” He wiped her tears away.
“I can’t lose my baby,” she sobbed. Mahogany would lose her mind if they took Kareem from him.