DarkestSin

by Mandy Harbin

  She broke away, panting. “Yeah. You’re making me hungry.”

  “You’re making me horny,” he groaned, but pulled away from her to tend to the eggs.

  She squeezed his butt cheek before sitting down and wincing. He turned sharply, looking at her. “What’s wrong?”

  “Oh, nothing. I just got royally fucked in the ass last night. Literally.” She leaned to one side on the chair. “Now it feels like I’ve got a corncob stuck up my ass.”

  “Oh God, baby.” He stepped over to her, leaning and wrapping his arms around her. “I’m sorry, Xan.”

  She reached up and stroked his face. “I’m okay, Brody. I figure this is to be expected.”

  He sighed, shaking his head as he leaned back. “Yeah, well, I could’ve been more considerate this morning. I practically tossed you on your ass right on top of that table.”

  “Uh-huh,” she mumbled, nodding as she took a sip. Shit. He had hurt her then too. She looked up at him, her face softening. “I’m fine. Maybe in a few days,” she shifted and winced again, “er, few weeks we can do it again.”

  He made a noncommittal sound as he cooked the eggs and plated the food. He was a big man, and she was a small woman. He needed to be more careful with her. The knowledge that he’d been rough enough to cause her lingering pain stabbed him in the chest. She needed to be cherished, not treated like some crack whore. He’d make the effort to be gentler with her.

  Though fucking her ass while he spanked her had been the most erotic thing he’d ever experienced.

  He shook off those thoughts as he sat down to eat, placing Xan’s plate in front of her. They ate in comfortable silence, but Brody had to touch her. He slid his hand on top of her bare knee, letting it rest there as he ate.

  “So what do you want to do today?” He wasn’t ready to leave her. Not yet.

  “Um, I hadn’t given it—” She stopped when the front door opened, her eyes flying open wide as heavy footsteps jogged to the kitchen. Exactly where they were. He was about to grab her and shield her from the intruder, but then he realized the pale look on Xan’s face wasn’t a result of fear for her life.

  “Mom!”

  Well, son of a damned bitch. She was sitting in this kitchen in her robe, and he was in his fucking underwear, no shirt.

  And her son was about to walk into the room.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck!

  At least he was sitting, facing the door. It’d be obvious he didn’t have a shirt on, but the kid wouldn’t see just how little he actually had on. His old rule of not dating single moms filtered through his brain. Funny how it didn’t bother him that he considered it an old rule.

  Scott came barreling into the kitchen. “It’s smells good in here. I’m starrr—oh shit!” He halted, his eyes darting back and forth from his mom to Brody and back again to his mom.

  “Language, Scott.”

  “Sorry, oh crap. Um, nope, oh crap just doesn’t cover it.” He stared in shock, eyes now staying longer on his mom with sly glances at Brody every few seconds. After what felt like a long moment of torture, the kid finally started fighting a smile.

  Why the hell did Brody feel as if he were the teenager staring at his girlfriend’s dad?

  “Um, am I interrupting something?” Nope, no longer fighting that smile. His face was glowing like the damn cat that ate that stupid canary.

  Brody wondered if he should say something or just wait for Xan. This was her kid, and he didn’t want to step on her toes. Just when the silence was getting deafening, she fidgeted in her seat.

  “Did you eat breakfast at Chad’s?”

  “Yes. But I could eat again.” The wide smile stayed on his face as his hands propped on his hips. “I came over to get my football. We need to run some plays.” He paused, glancing over at Brody. “How are you, Brutus?”

  “I’m good, kid. How are you?” Brody hid his smile. The little man was actually doing a little posturing with him over being here with his mom. If he didn’t already like the kid, he would’ve started liking him now. He appreciated the fact that Scott was being protective of his mom.

  “Same here. Say,” he said, tilting his head as if he just had a novel idea. Brody didn’t buy it. “Would you like to come out and throw the pigskin around with us?”

  “Oh, Scott, he doesn’t—”

  “I’d love to.” He didn’t think the kid really wanted him to play football with them. He probably just wanted Brody away from his mom. It didn’t matter. He’d enjoy a little football and male bonding with the kid. But he wasn’t backing down from the taunting. He had to show the guy that while he was around, he’d be the one protecting his mom. She might still be his mom, but Xan was Brody’s woman. “I have to get dressed first.”

  Xan groaned, trying to bury her face in her coffee cup. That was okay too. She didn’t understand male dynamics.

  Scott’s smile disappeared, his eyes narrowing. “You do that.” He walked over to his mom and kissed her cheek. Xan reached up and patted his head, not looking at him. Her mortification was rather quite adorable. But Brody didn’t have kids, so he really didn’t understand what she was going through.

  Scott turned to leave and Brody smiled, watching. The kid had spunk.

  “That was horrible.”

  He leaned over and took her hand in his, rubbing soothing circles on it. “It wasn’t ideal, but it wasn’t horrible. He’s a young man who needs to understand his mother has needs like everyone else. Just like he does, unless he’s a eunuch.” He picked up his cooling coffee and gulped it down.

  “Oh God, that’s even worse. I don’t want to think about his needs.” She sighed, shaking her head. “I know you don’t have kids, but did you ever walk in on your parents having sex?”

  Since he couldn’t remember his childhood, he didn’t remember if he had. But that wasn’t really the point. Xan was freaking out and he needed to help her chill. And he could do that by playing down the incident. He stood, clutching the side of her head and kissing her hair. “We weren’t having sex. Now if he’d come home thirty minutes ago…” He chuckled as he pulled away.

  “Oh shit. He could’ve walked in on us having sex!” she hissed.

  “Right. And he didn’t. So no worries.” She started to speak again but he halted her efforts. “I’m getting dressed. I’m not sure what you’re doing today, but I have a couple of kids to beat at football.”

  He left her gaping at him, and he stifled a chuckle. He quickly threw on some shorts, a muscle shirt and tennis shoes from his bag, grateful he had those workout clothes with him. He and the guys from work got together on occasion to play a little, so Brody was glad he wouldn’t make a complete fool of himself out there. He pulled out a hair tie to hold his hair out of his face. When he stood to leave, Xan walked in.

  “You’re really playing football with my son?”

  Uh-oh, were those unshed tears in her eyes. What did he do to upset her? Did she feel neglected that he wasn’t going to be spending time with her? He stepped up to her and pulled her into his arms. “It’ll only be an hour or so, baby. I promise we can do whatever you want after we’re finished playing.”

  “Oh, no.” She shook her head against his chest. “It’s not that.” She eased back and tried to free herself from his embrace. He wasn’t having that. He squeezed her tighter, grasping her chin and lifting her face so she’d be forced to look at him.

  “Then what is it?”

  “It’s silly.” She waved a dismissive hand and tried to look away, but he held firm.

  “Xan.” His tone was reproachful.

  She took a shuddering breath and reluctantly looked at him again. “It’s just that…um, that Scott hasn’t had any adult male role models around. Ever. So it’s nice, er, sweet of you to spend a little time with him. That’s all.”

  “Baby,” he breathed, leaning his forehead against hers, not knowing what to say. He wasn’t a role model. He couldn’t remember his past, but knew he’d been a contract killer once upon a time. Even
though he didn’t do that now and had no memories of ever doing that before, he had some shady dealings with his side job under Colonel. Granted, it was within the realm of law enforcement. Mostly. But just thinking about being there for Scott, gave him a warm feeling inside, gave him a sense of pride. Even if he’d only be in Scott’s life for a short while.

  “Look, I know you’re not his dad or anything. Oh God. I can’t believe I just said that.” She tried getting away from him again. When he pulled her back, she struggled with him, obviously embarrassed.

  “Stop fighting me, Xan,” he murmured. “I’m flattered you think he’d benefit from spending time with me. He’s a great kid, and I’d love to hang out with him.” That seemed to help because she relaxed and let him hug her to his body.

  “W-why don’t you ever ask me about his dad?”

  Oh shit. What was he supposed to say? He’d better think of something fast. “I figured you’d tell me about it when you were ready.”

  She hummed against him and pulled away. “I’m glad you want to hang out with Scott.”

  Why was she looking at him like that? She seemed distant, and he hated that. He wanted to do something to lighten her mood. “Yeah, of course I’d much rather play with you in the sheets, but we can always do that later. We can play find the pickle.”

  She laughed and he smiled, just the reaction he wanted. God, he lov—um, no. He cared for this woman. He wasn’t in love with her. He quickly, forcefully shoved that thought away.

  “I’d better go before I get razed by the kids for being held up by a mommy.”

  She popped up on her toes and kissed him before he jogged out to play some pigskin with the young folk.

  Love? No way. No how.

  Right. He was in deep, deep shit.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Xan sat on her front porch sipping her hot cocoa late that evening, wondering why in the world she was drinking this hot stuff when it was still well over eighty degrees outside.

  Brody’d left over an hour ago after spending the first part of the day playing football with the boys. They’d run drills and gathered some of the other neighborhood kids together for an impromptu game of touch football. Even Roxie and Scott’s and Chad’s girlfriends had come over to watch the game. She’d noticed how Scott lit up when Malorie Kimber arrived and remembered Brody’s little comment about Scott’s needs. Maybe it was time for another talk with her son. She tried to have them regularly, and it’d been about six months since the last one.

  But Xan wasn’t the only one to notice Scott’s reaction to his girlfriend. Brody’d eyeballed him and had even pulled him aside a few different times to talk one-on-one. It could’ve been about anything, but Scott kept glancing at Malorie when he was talking to Brody. Xan got the feeling Brody was talking to him about his girlfriend, but she wasn’t sure about what. She’d had every intention of asking, but Scott was always around.

  Well, except when Brody had tricked her into following him in for a glass of lemonade and pulled her into the pantry, slipped her shorts off, and took her from behind while covering her mouth to muffle her cries.

  Yeah, except for that one time, there hadn’t been an opportunity to ask him, and at that moment, she’d been too caught up in lusty pleasure to think straight.

  The day had been great, really wonderful. She’d had fun visiting with Roxie, watching Brody keep up with the young men, then hanging out with Brody and Scott all afternoon.

  But in the last hour since he’d left, she couldn’t stop thinking about her conversation with Brody this morning when she’d asked him why he hadn’t asked about Marco. He’d stiffened slightly before giving her a perfectly good response. If he hadn’t flinched like that, she probably wouldn’t have given it another thought. She figured she hadn’t dwelled on it since then because of the her obsession with Scott and his interest in his new girlfriend, but thinking about it now made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. She had that itchy feeling that something wasn’t right. But why?

  She tried reasoning with herself. Seriously, she hadn’t known Brody for very long. She already knew he was mostly a loner, so maybe he didn’t pry into her life because he felt as if it weren’t any of his business. But they were sleeping together. And she cared about him. How much, she didn’t like to consider because she’d start trembling, breaking out in gooseflesh.

  Which brought up another point entirely. Why break her abstinence streak now? Why Brody? And why was he reluctant at first? Why did he really have a change of heart?

  Her neck kept itching as the questions swirled around in her mind. She rocked on the porch swing, sipping her cooling cocoa, trying to make sense of her apprehension. With the exception of her FBI agents, she hadn’t trusted a man since Marco. Maybe this was just new to her, and she wasn’t used to accepting male companionship.

  Or maybe something was off.

  Jack had told her that the FBI was watching her, and she’d already encountered them. Her heart stuttered. Or him? Was Brody an agent on her case? Was that why he’d fought his attraction to her? Oh God! Or was he not even attracted to her at all? Was getting close to her just a means to an end?

  Wait, wait, wait. She was just being silly. If that were the case, then he wouldn’t have been hesitant in the beginning. He’d have taken his opening without reservation. Her experience with agents had shown her they were ruthless professionals.

  She chewed her nails, considering. She could make guesses all night, but there was only one way to find out. She got up and walked into the house, heading for the kitchen since Scott was at the other end of the house in his room playing video games. She pulled out her cell phone from her purse and called Jack. He answered the first ring.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Jack, it’s Xan.”

  “Yes, I recognize your number. Is everything okay?”

  Maybe she should’ve thought this through before picking up the phone and just calling him. Too late to worry about that now. “Um, well, I’d like to talk to you about the agents you have watching me.”

  He hesitated, and Xan wasn’t sure if she should say something else. “What about them?” he finally asked.

  “Who are they?”

  “You know I can’t divulge that information.”

  She took a steadying breath while she considered another tactic. Best to just come right out with it. “Look, Jack. You told me after I arrived that I’d already encountered the person or people watching me. At that time, the options were limited to the people at my work, in my neighborhood, and at the garage where work was done to my car.”

  “I never said the person or people in question were people you’d met. I said you’d encountered them. That could’ve been a person in a gas station, at Walmart, or many other locations where you ran into them in passing.”

  Damn. He had a point there, but she wasn’t giving up. “Tell me what you know about Brutus?”

  “Brutus, AKA Brody Jackson, is a mechanic for Sheppard’s Garage. Mid thirties, blond hair, blue eyes, drives a late-model Harley Davidson Cross Bones motorcycle and a late-model Ford F-150 crew cab truck—I believe Harley Davidson Edition. The man likes Harleys.”

  Why would Jack know so much about Brody? Surely this wouldn’t be that easy. “You spilled that much information when I just asked you about a man named Brutus. How could you have known who I was talking about? Do you know all this because he’s working for you? Is Brody the guy, or one of the guys, you have watching over me?”

  He chuckled and she felt her face flush in anger. Why did he think this was funny? This was only her life they were essentially talking about. Before she got a chance to dig further, Jack responded.

  “Some of the people I have watching you were at that little honkytonk you went to the other night. Saw you leave with him. It’s my job to know if the people in your life are a threat to you.”

  Well, that made sense, she thought reluctantly. She strummed her fingernails on the kitchen counter, trying to think
of another way to find out the identities of the people watching her. He hadn’t come out and said that Brody wasn’t part of that team. “You’re evading my questions.”

  “You’re right. Because I can’t tell you shit, and you know it. We’re protecting you, so please don’t worry about that, but if you get suspicious about anything, call me immediately.”

  That gave her pause. “How close are you?”

  “My proximity is irrelevant. But I may be closer than you think.”

  She guessed that was good. If he was near, then he could be here at a moment’s notice if something happened. Not that it helped answer any questions she had about Brody. Realizing she wasn’t going to get anything concrete out of her super-secret agent man, she mumbled her understanding and got off the phone.

  Brody Jackson. Xan hadn’t even realized she didn’t know his last name until Jack had told her. Maybe she was overreacting to Brody’s reaction to her bringing up Marco. So he hadn’t asked about Scott’s dad or her past in general. She hadn’t even asked him for his last name. Or about his past. Maybe things were progressing normally for their budding romance. But she really had no idea if this was normal for a couple who were falling in love.

  Love? Hmm. Maybe not love. Lust. Yeah, falling in lust. But if she was going to open her heart up to Brody eventually, maybe she should get to know him a little better before her heart overruled her brain.

  But getting to know him meant she had to open up about herself too. And she wasn’t looking forward to telling him about her past. Too many painful memories. Though if she expected him to open up to her, she needed to be prepared to talk about Marco.

  And Tess. God, even after all these years that wasn’t a subject she enjoyed.

  If Brody had no feelings for her at all, he’d probably run screaming when she opened up her baggage for his perusal.

  And if he did have feelings for her and became concerned for her safety when she spilled all the grueling details of her life, her heart just might overrule her brain before she was ready.

  Because she already felt as if that were happening.