by Michael Fry
That’s when I remembered Roy and the prank-off.
‘Dougie!’ I said out loud.
I had to unclog the drain before the water leaked out into the hallway and Mr Dupree saw it. If only I had a … DORIS!
I grabbed my backpack, pulled out Doris, and started plunging like there was no tomorrow.
‘What are you doing, Mr Dupree?’ yelled Molly from out in the hall.
‘No!’ I said.
‘My job,’ said Mr Dupree. ‘There’s a leak coming from the toilets.’
I turned around. The water was already out the door.
I had two seconds to get rid of the plunger before Mr Dupree came in. I looked left, right, down, and finally …
That’s when everything went into super slow motion.
It stuck! It really stuck. For once, a plan of mine worked! I couldn’t wait to tell everybody. But when the bathroom door opened, I realised I couldn’t tell anybody.
CHAPTER 18
‘Boys,’ said Molly as she surveyed the mess.
Becky and Simone nodded together. ‘Mm-hm.’
‘It wasn’t me,’ I said. ‘The sink was already clogged. I just turned on the water. But then I couldn’t turn it off.’
Mr Dupree fished a sock out of the sink drain. Inside was a label. ‘Dougie,’ read Mr Dupree.
I nodded. ‘The stupid one.’
It was the bell for first class.
We all started to leave when Mr Dupree said, ‘Nick, Molly, what’s happening with the search for Doris?’
Molly and I stopped as the others left.
‘We haven’t seen her,’ I said. ‘We’ve asked around, but no one’s seen her.’
Mr Dupree turned to Molly. ‘You checked everywhere?’
Molly said, ‘She must be around here somewhere!’
That’s when I looked up and saw …
But where? Wait. Stuff like that only happens with …
MLEZ?
Mr Dupree stared at me. ‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’
I don’t know. Maybe MLEZ is a ghost. But I wasn’t going to say that to Mr Dupree. I had only one move. It’s like Memaw likes to say …
I shrugged.
Mr Dupree shook his head and headed for the door. He said, ‘Please. Find Doris!’
We slowly turned around and stared at, well, a ghost.
Sort of.
Molly said, ‘Wait. You’re um …’
‘Alice Frektner,’ she said.
‘Who?’ I said.
Molly said, ‘Wait. I know you. You’re the invisible girl I tried to get the OMGs to help out!’
‘I appreciated the effort,’ said Alice.
I said, ‘You’re part of MLEZ?’
Molly pulled her yearbook out of her backpack. ‘But we eliminated everybody. We went through every page.’
Alice smiled. ‘Look again. Look closely this time.’
We did look again. We searched and searched and searched. Nothing. Then …
Molly said, ‘We missed you!’
‘That happens a lot,’ said Alice.
Who better to be part of a super-secret group than a girl who’s INVISIBLE!
I said, ‘No wonder we could never figure out who MLEZ was.’
‘You said “us”. There are others?’ said Molly.
‘Of course. And we’re all really happy you passed the test,’ she said.
‘What test?’ I said.
Alice smiled. ‘You didn’t talk Karl out of being part of MLEZ.’
Molly and I shared a look. ‘Yeah. Right. Of course … not,’ we mumbled.
‘We couldn’t be sure,’ said Alice. ‘You two haven’t always been nice to Karl.’
Wait. That’s not true. We like Karl. You know, except when he’s being really weird. Which, now that I think about it, is most of the time. Which, I guess means …
‘Wait a second,’ said Molly. ‘What about Doris showing up in Nick’s locker? Was that you? Did you steal her?’
‘I borrowed her,’ said Alice as she handed Doris back to me. ‘Just some insurance, in case you tried to interfere with Karl.’
‘You were prepared to set me up to protect Karl?’ I asked.
Alice smiled again. ‘Karl is smart. Karl is brave. Karl is sweet and kind. He’s the only kid at this school who is completely comfortable with being himself. What else could you want in a leader?’
I thought. ‘How about not force-feeding me Tofu Tots?’
Alice said, ‘Karl wanted the two of you in MLEZ from the start. He trusts you. And now the rest of us can too.’
CHAPTER 19
I got home from school and went straight to my room. I was still grounded. No video games. No phone. It was like when Memaw was a little girl. …
I was about to die of boredom when my computer beeped. It was a video-chat invite from Molly.
I clicked connect, and Molly appeared on my screen.
‘We need to talk about Alice,’ she said. ‘That girl is seriously scary.’
‘Yeah, but she’s just watching out for Karl. You know, just like us.’
‘No. We weren’t setting anybody up for stealing Doris.’
‘I guess she really likes Karl.’
‘And we were totally going to talk Karl out of MLEZ.’
‘I know. We didn’t pass her test.’
She’s such a stealth mum! She never wears the Mum Early Detection System I gave her for her birthday.
‘It’s no big deal,’ I answered.
‘Hm. Dr Daniels called me about your before-school sessions with Ms Kapezki.’
Whatever happened to guidance counsellor–student confidentiality? Kids have no privacy! Or rights!
It’s not fair!
Mum said, ‘Dr Daniels explained about the BASS test and how she’s working with promising students to help them reach their full potential. She told me how you need to show your work so you’ll help the school get a higher rating.’
‘I never showed my work and I turned out fine!’ yelled Memaw from downstairs.
Mum said, ‘The jury’s still out on that, Mother!’ She turned to me. ‘On top of the BASS test, you’ve also got your Schoolseum project.’
‘Everything is fine!’ I said. ‘Memaw is helping me with my project.’
Mostly by keeping our dog, Janice, from eating it.
‘And Ms Kapezki is actually getting me to show my work,’ I added.
I told Mum about this super-hard problem Mr Wickler gave me.
Amy is twice as old as Jenny. Five years ago, Amy was three times as old as Jenny. Find Jenny’s age. Show your work!
At first I just stared at the problem like I normally do and waited for the answer. But then the picture in my head started showing up on the board.
For the first time, I showed my work in front of Mr Wickler!
I figured he’d do some sort of alien worms-for-brains victory dance, but he just stood there for a long time until he finally said …
I said, ‘Are you okay, Mr Wickler?’
That was when he did something I’d never seen an adult do.
He shrugged.
I didn’t tell Mum about the shrugging. I didn’t need her going to school and complaining about teachers not showing enthusiasm.
Instead I flashed her my best trust-me smile and said, ‘Seriously. Everything’s under control.’
Mum hugged me and said, ‘Why is it when you say, “Everything’s under control” all I hear is “My socks are on fire?”’
CHAPTER 20
I said, ‘Where is everybody?’
‘This is everybody,’ said Alice.
I looked around. It was just me, Molly, Karl, Alice, and a couple of chess sets in Outdoor Temporary Classroom #7 for our first MLEZ meeting.
‘This is everybody in your group,’ said Alice. ‘There are lots of other MLEZ groups. Each is separate from the other. This way if one group is discovered, it can’t rat out the others.’
‘Has it always been like that?
’ asked Molly.
Alice nodded. She explained that MLEZ was started a million years ago by this girl named Ethel. Ethel got tired of never getting picked for dodgeball because she was invisible – like Alice. Ethel recruited other outcast kids who were also plain or bullied or who didn’t fit in, and eventually they pretty much ran the school.
‘So this is the Chess Club?’
We all turned around to see Mr Dupree standing at the door.
We nodded and smiled like, ‘Sure we’re in Chess Club! Why wouldn’t be in Chess Club? Chess Club is awesome!’
Mr Dupree said, ‘Wow. And so many members! Did I ever tell you about the time I played chess against a robot?’
Groan.
‘It was years ago,’ Mr Dupree began. ‘The Chessbot 5000 was primitive by today’s standards.’
‘Did he shoot lasers with his eyes?’ asked Karl.
‘No. He just played chess, Karl,’ said Mr Dupree.
‘What about Twister?’ asked Karl.
‘No Twister. Now let me tell the story.’
Mr Dupree continued, ‘The Chessbot 5000 was programmed to look at thousands of possible moves and pick the best one.
‘I got off to a rocky start. I lost my queen in the first ten moves.’
Karl sighed. ‘Poor queen.’
Mr Dupree continued, ‘But I knew something the robot didn’t.’
‘What?’ asked Molly.
‘What did I teach you to do when you’re outmatched, outwitted and outprogrammed?’
‘You bring the crazy,’ said everyone except Alice. We’d heard it before.
Mr Dupree said, ‘I made crazy moves. Moves that made no chess sense. Or robot sense.
‘My crazy moves caused Chessbot 5000 to compute so many possibilities that it eventually …’
Karl sighed. ‘Poor robot.’
‘The robot lost the match because it couldn’t predict a move no one had ever made before. You can’t predict crazy.’
‘Huh?’ I said.
‘He means, when we play chess, we should expect what we don’t expect,’ said Alice.
Mr Dupree said, ‘Or whenever you’re playing to win. Now, have you seen Doris?’
We all shook our heads.
Mr Dupree said, ‘Keep looking. I can’t give the keynote address on plunger safety at the Annual State Janitors Convention in three weeks without her.’
There was so much epic random weirdness in that previous sentence that none of us said a word.
After Mr Dupree left, Alice shook her head. ‘I think Mr Dupree—’
It was Karl’s phone. ‘No!’ he moaned. ‘Stanley’s flown away again.’
‘Rocket Park?’ asked Molly.
Karl said, ‘I made him a bubble wrap vest, but he won’t wear it. He thinks it makes him look fat.’
After Karl left, I looked at Alice. ‘What were you saying about Mr Dupree?’
‘I think he’s on to us,’ said Alice. ‘I think he’s saying we can hide all we want, but we can’t hide from him.’
‘I’m not sure he’s saying that,’ said Molly.
‘Me neither. And why are we hiding at all?’ I asked.
Alice stared at me. ‘We can’t do what we do in the open. MLEZ has to stay a secret.’
‘Secrets are hard to keep,’ said Molly.
‘Secrets have kept this school safe for a long time,’ said Alice. ‘I’m not going to let some busybody hippie janitor get in the way of everything we’ve built. It’s too important. We have to do something to get Mr Dupree off our backs.’
Molly turned to me. ‘You could start by giving Doris back to him.’
I said, ‘I’m going to. I haven’t had a chance. I mean, I can’t just give her to him.’
‘Exactly,’ said Alice.
‘No, he’ll think I took her,’ I said. ‘I’ll just leave her somewhere he can find her.’
Alice shook her head. ‘No, we leave her where he’s sure he’s already looked, so he’ll think she was there the whole time and he just forgot.’
‘Or he’ll think someone’s messing with him,’ said Molly.
‘Not if other things go missing and then show up later in places where he knows he’s already looked,’ said Alice. ‘He’ll be so busy trying to figure out which end is up that he won’t pay any attention to us.’
‘That’s mean!’ cried Molly.
CHAPTER 21
‘We’re not going to do it, right?’
‘Of course we’re not going to do it,’ I told Molly as we walked down the empty school hallway. ‘We’re just going to put the plunger where he can find it and take off.’
‘Alice really is a little cray-cray,’ said Molly.
‘A little?’
‘What are we going to tell her?’
‘That we messed with Mr Dupree’s head and he’s all confused and he won’t bother MLEZ anymore.’
‘What if she doesn’t believe us?’
‘Why wouldn’t she believe us? She trusts us now.’
‘But we lied about talking Karl out of joining MLEZ.’
I shook my head. ‘But she doesn’t know that.’
‘What about after this?’ said Molly. ‘Are we staying in MLEZ?’
‘I don’t know,’ I said.
And I didn’t. I’d been mad when Alice didn’t pick me to join MLEZ. But messing with Mr Dupree was going too far. Maybe we could reason with Alice in the future. Maybe not.
We arrived at the door that led down to Safety Patrol Headquarters (and Mr D’s janitorial supplies).
‘Is the coast clear?’ I asked.
Molly looked down the hall. ‘All clear.’
‘Hand me the plunger.’
Molly opened my new lame-o rolling backpack. ‘Um … why do you have a dozen cans of tuna? And a doll’s head? And a toy piano?’
‘What?’
Karl must have taken my backpack when he left. ‘That means …
CHAPTER 22
Molly and I met the rest of Safety Patrol at Karl’s house after school.
‘Why are we here again?’ asked Becky,
‘Then we’re going to put it where Mr D can find it,’ I continued. ‘Later we’ll figure out what to do about Alice.’
‘Alice?’ asked Becky.
Molly and I filled Becky and Simone in on Alice.
‘Wait,’ said Simone. ‘Why are you two in MLEZ and we’re not?’
Becky nodded. ‘Yeah.’
‘How do we know you’re not part of MLEZ and in a separate group?’ I said.
Becky rolled her eyes. ‘We’re not.’
I said, ‘That’s what you’re supposed to say.’
Molly glared at me. ‘Stop it.’ She turned to Becky and Simone. ‘I know how you feel. I felt the same way when MLEZ picked Karl and not me. But then Karl picked me and now Alice is scaring me and I feel stupid for feeling left out.’
‘You saved us from feeling stupid,’ said Simone.
Simone looked up at Karl’s house. ‘I don’t know. We could get caught inside.’
‘Why can’t we just swap your backpacks tomorrow?’ asked Becky.
‘Karl will find Doris by then and give her to Mr Dupree,’ I said.
‘Isn’t that what you’re going to do anyway?’ asked Simone.
‘I’m going to leave Doris where Mr Dupree can find her. If Karl just hands her to him, there’ll be questions like, “Where did you find her and how long have you had her and why do you look so guilty?”’
Karl doesn’t do so well under pressure.
The thing about working with girls is there’s entirely too much talking and not enough doing!
‘ENOUGH!’ I yelled. ‘We are going into Karl’s room and we are going to get that plunger!’
‘Dude, chill!’ said Molly.
Becky glared at me. ‘If you’re going to yell, I’m going home.’
‘We’re all going home,’ snapped Simone.
The other thing about working with girls is they’re impossible to boss a
round unless you ask nicely.
‘Okay, good,’ I said. ‘Becky, you stay down here and keep a lookout. If you see anything, hoot like an owl.’
‘I can moo like a cow better,’ said Becky.
‘Do you see any cows around here?’ I said.
‘I don’t see any owls, either,’ said Becky.
I threw up my arms. ‘Fine. Whatever. MOO!’
CHAPTER 23
When the plunger-sticking-to-the-ceiling thing actually worked, I figured my luck with plans had changed. Nope.
I don’t understand. They always work so well in my head.
Not so much anywhere else.
All we had to do was sneak in Karl’s room and swap the backpacks while Becky distracted Karl downstairs. Simple, right?
It’s never simple.
The first problem: Karl was taking a nap. I know! Who takes naps? What is he, four?
With Karl sleeping, I had to call Becky off at the front door.
Nick: KARL’S TAKING A NAP! DON’T RING THE DOORBELL!
Becky: You don’t have to yell.
The second problem: Karl’s room isn’t like a normal twelve-year-old’s room. Karl’s room has an alarm.