by Knox, Abby
Fifteen-plus years side by side with Bobby, and they still had not figured it out.
Maybe it was just not meant to be.
Chapter Ten
Pen
Thirteen-year-old Penelope and her best friend Bobby walked to school like any other day. It was a crisp September morning. About as crisp as any morning gets on the soggy Delta. She wore her plaid pleated school uniform skirt and gray cardigan.
She had just told Bobby her first period had arrived that morning for the first time. That’s how close friends they were.
When she told him that, something clicked. He changed. He walked closer to her. She thought she could sense him smelling her cardigan. Weird.
Jimmy and Charlene, parents of their friend Ash, had been coaching Pen and Bobby and a gaggle of other friends on how to react when they first began to sense their inner beasts. None of them had yet wolfed out, but the Boudreaux family had taken them all under their wing after determining they had the “gift.”
And they needed all the guidance they could get at the age of thirteen.
The boys at school had been teasing Pen since she was eleven when her breasts developed early.
Lately, they’d even been so bold as to start snapping girls’ bra straps. She hated that with a raging fire. Seriously, sometimes she thought she might snap and kill one of them. But Charlene had taught her that that was her mind confusing her human and wolf hormones. So she breathed through it and sought help from teachers whenever possible.
But these days, with the teasing ramped up, Pen felt like a broken record every time she asked for help from a teacher.
And so, Bobby had started taking matters into his own hands.
That morning, Pen decided to have a difficult talk with him.
“Listen, Bobby? Could you maybe stop punching everyone out when they snap my bra?”
“I can’t help it,” he said with a glower.
“You’re gonna get suspended.”
“She’s right,” said Ash as they made their way up the street to the middle school. “My mom can help you control your anger.”
Just then, Gavin and Vann met up with them; they walked to school together in a cozy, familiar pack.
“What’s she right about?” asked Gavin, sort of teasing.
“Bobby’s going to get suspended if he can’t control his knuckle sandwiches,” said Ash.
Vann licked his lips. “Yum. You said sandwiches.”
“I’m with Bobby,” Gavin said. “You need extra muscle; just say the word, bro.”
Pen hugged her cardigan tightly around herself. “You’re all idiots.”
This pack of wolves all came from different backgrounds. Some had parents who were shifters. Some had parents who were not shifters at all. Others had absentee parents. They had all found each other for the same reason, though some parents were in denial about their canine proclivities. Whatever their differences, they were connected forever.
Later that day, it was not Pen’s bra strap that a boy touched. It was much worse.
Todd Connors, star middle school quarterback, crashed into Pen in the cafeteria. Her lunch tray went skidding, his pizza toppled to the floor. In the commotion, Todd reached out and blatantly grab Pen’s breasts as she bent over to pick up spilled food. It was stupidly obvious, and everyone saw it.
All it took was a shriek from Pen, and it was like a light switched on inside Bobby. He was no longer in control. The wolf was now calling the shots.
The screams—from Pen, from Todd, and from the other random girls in the room—bounced off the walls like an echo chamber and seemed to heighten Bobby’s protective instinct all the more profoundly.
When the wolf’s massive teeth sank into the quarterback’s shoulder, that was the end of Todd’s football-throwing career.
Watching Bobby shift for the first time into his wolf shape had triggered something in Ash, Gavin, and Vann all at once. Earlier that morning, they may have bragged about being able to control their wolf selves, but now the truth was laid bare. None of them knew how to wield the power they had.
The three male wolves all surrounded the scene. Ash, Gavin, and Vann bared their fangs and stood there snarling, daring any of the other football players to come close to try to rescue Todd.
At some point, Bobby stopped clenching his jaws on Todd’s shoulder. He glanced up and saw Pen, watching him. She had not shifted. Human Pen was staring at him, her mouth open, her eyes wide in shock and terror.
In response to Pen’s reaction, Bobby let Todd go.
* * *
Bobby
He knew he should have stayed to make sure Todd was all right. But he left. He took off and ran out of the school and disappeared for days. Nobody could find him, including the police.
While Bobby was gone, the Boudreaux family swooped in and cleaned up the mess. Pen, Gavin, Vann, and Ash were all pulled out of school. Todd’s parents were paid off in a settlement out of court and agreed not to sue the school. The rest of the children who had witnessed the event became convinced that a hallucinogen had been slipped into everyone’s food that day. The person responsible had been dealt with; that was the official statement. Anybody whose family didn’t buy the hallucination story was paid off handsomely.
Pen eventually found Bobby hiding in the trees behind her house one night.
She had come outside when she had first felt the urge to shift. It had been a full moon. She had just been about to corner her first rabbit when Bobby, in wolf form, pounced first.
Bobby saw the look again from Pen. Horror, betrayal. Bobby nosed the little rabbit carcass over to Pen and felt so ashamed he shifted back to his human form right then and there.
But that had been the wrong move, apparently. After watching Bobby shift again and watching expectantly for her to eat the rabbit, Pen instead pulled a Bobby. She took off running, and he didn’t see her again until the following day.
They all gathered at Jimmy and Charlene’s estate to begin their homeschool education for the next few years. It took weeks before Pen and Bobby could look each other in the eye again.
Over time, things grew easier. They learned to hunt as a group and eventually came to enjoy the shift.
At the age of sixteen, Charlene hosted a cotillion at the Boudreauxs’ country estate, specifically for shifter kids. Pen’s father even showed up to present her to society. She was a real, authentic debutante.
At the dance that followed the presentation of all the sixteen-year-old girls, Bobby danced with Pen. He had wanted to kiss her so badly. He thought maybe she wanted him to kiss her, but every time he thought he might dive in, all he could see in his mind was the terrified thirteen-year-old Pen staring at him, the monster.
At seventeen, the wolf pack enrolled in public high school. Charlene and all the other parents agreed it was time to teach the children to mix with other kids to prepare them for the real world. Although they stuck together like glue, Pen did not go to prom with Bobby as her date. He wanted to ask, but he hadn’t. He still desperately hated himself and loved her. So, as he saw it, she deserved better. The violence she’d witnessed—the mess he had made of everything—would keep them apart. He knew she would only ever see a monster when she looked in his eyes.
Chapter Eleven
Pen
Bobby was heading down the stairs from his walk-up apartment, halfway buttoning up a fresh, clean shirt, when Pen found him. There was a large leather bag over his shoulder.
“Going somewhere?”
“Pen. I…”
“Save it,” she said. “Where are you going? Running away? Why?”
“You know why.”
The staircase was dark, but the light from the window on the landing slashed a streetlight beam across Bobby’s face. He looked tired and drawn.
“I have some money saved up. I’m leaving town. I was hoping to leave before you could try to talk me into staying. How’s your ear?”
“It’s fine. Nothing like the time we took down
that gator. That animal nearly got my whole paw.”
Bobby chuckled. “I remember.”
“You didn’t run away that time,” she said.
He sighed and rubbed his face. “I can’t stop fucking up. I can’t be around you anymore. I’m just gonna drag you down. Every time I look at you, I want you in my bed.”
The admission—finally—nearly knocked Pen over. “What?”
“I know. I shouldn’t have said that,” he said.
Pen shook her head. “I disagree. You should have said it years ago.”
Bobby's jaw rippled as he spoke through his teeth. “But then I remember that kid from middle school, and it all comes flooding back, and I have to stop myself. I want you. I’m bonded to you, and I’m bound by Wolf Code to protect you.”
Pen’s lip trembled. “How long have you felt imprinted on me?”
Bobby pressed his thumb and forefinger into his closed eyes, willing himself not to cry. “As long as I can remember.”
Pen sighed. “Bobby.”
He raised his voice. “Stop being so goddamn understanding! I can’t be around you. It’s fucking torture.”
“So, your solution is to run away?” A tear fell down Pen’s cheek.
He growled, “What am I supposed to do? Make us both suffer?”
“No!” she choked. “You just have to let me in and let me help you through it. We can work on things. Together.”
He shook his head. “I wish that were true.”
“Sit down,” she said, sniffling. “I brought you something.”
That was not what Bobby expected. “What?”
“Just do it,” she ordered. Bobby finally listened and sat down on the stairs. Then he watched as Pen tromped down and opened the door.
In trotted the yellow Lab that had led them to Gavin and Chas.
“This is Sam,” Pen said as the yellow dog trundled up the stairs and nosed Bobby in the face. The dog was significantly cleaner and better smelling than earlier. He was also wearing tags. “He told me his name. I cleaned him up. He wants to be yours.”
Bobby didn’t know what to say but followed the dog’s urging to pet his neck and scratch behind his ears.
“You’re crazy; this is a stray. How do you know it’s not full of diseases?”
Pen scoffed. “With all the wild animals you’ve eaten and played with over the years, do you think we should be concerned about that?”
Bobby shook his head. “Thank you, Pen.”
“You’re welcome. But you also have to talk to a professional. Promise me.”
They sat together in a brief, comfortable silence for a moment. Then Bobby said what needed to be said. “Pen, a professional can’t fix the real shit that’s gonna come down. The police are gonna be looking for me. I killed Manny, in case you forgot.”
Pen spoke sharply and slowly so he would fully understand. “About 78 people in New Orleans called 911 or animal control that night to report two huge wolves running through the French Quarter and elsewhere in the city. Then within that same hour, a man was killed in what was clearly an animal attack. The police don’t even know you were there.”
Bobby shook his head, and his words came out unsteadily. “How do you know all this?”
“Because Gavin and Chas took me to the hospital to get my ear stitched up, and we told the doctor everything. The police were called, and we told them the facts. About how a wolf came into the shop out of nowhere, Manny had his gun on the wolf and was going to shoot it; I tried to stop him, but he fired a gun at me, and then the wolf snapped and killed Manny.”
“That’s ludicrous,” Bobby said, petting Sam’s blond fur.
“But,” Pen said, “it’s the most plausible explanation, isn’t it? We’ve spent our whole life learning how to lead the general public toward the most believable explanations for these kinds of incidents, have we not?”
“Great,” he said with a shrug. “So I’m not in trouble with the police. Yet. But it’s going to happen again, and maybe the next time, you get killed. As it is, I’m a monster, and that is all you will ever see when you look at me.”
Pen grunted in frustration. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for me. And you don’t get to decide what I see when I look at you. If you think that, you’re no different than old Lionel DuChamp trying to set me up with the blond haircut trust fund son of some asshole friend of his.”
Sam the dog nudged Bobby’s face and licked. Bobby muttered. “So, then, what do you see when you look at me? Do I even want to know?”
Pen squeezed in next to Bobby on the stairs and joined him in petting down Sam, who showed his appreciation with plenty of licks.
“Bobby, when I look at you, I see my rock. You are the reason I am alive today. Over and over again, you have saved my life. Whether in middle school or on the hunt or in real danger like we were back there at the tattoo place. You are the biggest damned hero of all of the wolves, and don’t you ever forget that.”
Chapter Twelve
Bobby
Bobby felt the lump in his throat. “Shut up.”
Pen laughed. “No, you shut up.”
“I love you so much, Pen. You’re all I think about, every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to sleep, praying I don’t have nightmares about you dying. But I gotta let you live a better life.”
Pen said in a trembling voice, “Bobby, I don’t want to spend my life shopping for dresses or going to brunch or waiting on clients who can’t decide between leather or leatherette sofa upholstery. Fuck all that. I want to run with you until our goddamn paws fall clean off.”
Bobby stopped petting Sam and turned to Pen. Her eyes were shining in the dim light. He took her hands in his.
“If I kiss you, there’s no going back. If I kiss you, then I’m going to touch you. If I touch you, then I’m going to take off all your clothes. Then I’m going to devour you, and then I’m going to make you pregnant. Once I cross the line, mating is all I want to do.”
Pen wiped a tear from her eye. “My whole life, that’s all I ever wanted. I’ve only ever wanted you.”
And then, just as naturally as if they were running wild in the woods under the light of the full moon, their lips came together, and they were free.
* * *
“So, do you want to wait until we get married? Like Rosemary and Ash?”
Pen was kneeling on Bobby’s down comforter, tugging at his shirt buttons. Her nipples were at attention, poking through the fabric of the oversized tee-shirt. She was the most drop-dead gorgeous female he’d ever seen, and he never wanted to see another one. In anticipation of their bedroom time, Sam had been walked and fed and was now asleep on Bobby’s living room couch.
She replied, “Fuck that noise. Unzip your pants. Like, now.”
Bobby had no more words. She was his queen. Their lips clung warmly together like butter on a hot ear of sweet corn in July. He couldn’t believe he had waited so long. He cupped her face in his hands as he knelt in front of her. “I feel like we need to make up for lost time. What do you say we just kiss for a while?”
She smiled. “I like this idea. But not too long. I have needs, you know. So, how do you think you would have kissed me at thirteen?”
He grinned, picking up on the game she was starting. Holy shit, did he love this woman.
He leaned in and gave her a peck on the cheek.
“Sweet. How about fourteen?” she said.
Bobby leaned in and bumped her nose, gave her a quick peck on the lips. “We’d probably be holding hands like this,” he said.
He laced his fingers through both of her hands, and Pen felt herself blush at how badly she had wanted Bobby to hold her hand when she was scared, when she was happy, when she just wanted his attention.
“What about you? What did you want at fifteen?” he asked.
Pen kept their hands clasped together and inched closer. She moved in slowly and kissed him softly, her lips slightly parted, her eyelids fluttering closed. B
obby sighed. All this innocent tripping down memory lane was getting him good and rock hard for her pussy.
When their lips parted, she asked him, “How about sixteen?”
An evil grin spread across Bobby’s face. “Well now. That would be your sweet sixteen birthday. Remember that party?”
“Of course I do,” she said with a pout. “How could I forget? You all planned that dance party at the Boudreaux estate. Jimmy and Charlene hired that band; there were lights everywhere. Everyone was dressed up. It felt like a wedding, and I wanted you to kiss me so bad.”
“And I wanted to kiss you so bad. Why didn’t I?”
Pen shook her head. “No. We are not doing that now. It’s happening now. I am sixteen, and so are you. We are walking under the starlight through the garden. Charlene and Jimmy are dancing under the moonlight. Nobody knew she was sick, yet.”
“That’s right,” Bobby recalled.
“Yep, and you and I took a walk, and the band played Bob Marley. And then you danced with me, alone in the garden.”
“I did,” he said. “I should have kissed you.”
“Kiss me now.”
Bobby took Pen in his arms and hugged her close. Then, he climbed off the bed and held out his hand to her. She took it, curiously, before catching on. Bobby pulled her into his arms, and they slow danced as Bobby hummed, “No Woman, No Cry.”
Pen squeezed in close. She laid her head on his chest, and her breath was warm and welcome on his skin through his half-unbuttoned shirt. “That was the first time I noticed your shampoo. I liked it,” he said, pausing his humming for the moment as they continued to slow dance. He leaned in and inhaled her scent: strawberries and cinnamon and ginger.