Crime and Passion

by Marie Ferrarella

  Slowly the passion subsided and the euphoria mellowed into a soothing murmur rather than a roar. He gathered her to him and kissed the top of her head. After the passion came a deep-rooted affection.

  “You’ve gotten more agile.” He pretended to peer at her face. “Should I be jealous?”

  What she did she did by instinct, because she was with him and he brought it out in her. “You never had anything to be jealous about.” She turned her face toward him, her cheek resting against his arm. “You were always in a class by yourself.”

  “What about Alex’s father?” He’d promised himself not to ask, but he couldn’t help it. If Alex wasn’t his, then someone else had come after him. Someone else had made love with her, maybe even made her fall in love with him. Was that man as totally out of the picture as she’d said? “Was he in a class by himself?”

  Yes, because he’s you.

  “You might say that.” She rose up on her elbow to look at Clay. She didn’t want to be pulled into a discussion where she might trip up. “Look, I don’t want to talk about Alex’s father, or about any of the legions of women who came after me.”

  “No legions,” he assured her. “Just pale, puny shadows, Ilene.” Slipping his hand beneath her head, he tilted it up so that their eyes held. He wanted her to believe him. “Nobody has ever meant anything to me but you.”

  Ilene pulled her head back, away from his touch. “Don’t say things like that.” Hearing him made her want to believe him, and they both knew that was a mistake. “We both know this isn’t going to go anywhere.”

  She was right, he thought.

  Or was she?

  Something within him protested, that she was making assumptions that might not be true. But he knew himself, knew that as much as he wanted her, being with Ilene ultimately scared him.

  So he reverted to humor and used it to camouflage his feelings.

  “Let’s see, the subject of your love life and mine are both closed and you don’t want me to tell you how you were always the only one. That doesn’t leave us very much to discuss.” He turned toward her, threading a strand of her hair through his fingers. He sniffed it without thinking, breathing in the herbal scent. “So what do we do with the rest of the night?”

  She knew that look, delighted in that look and could feel herself reacting to it immediately. “I think we both know what we really want to do with the rest of the night.”

  Her grin was broad, inviting. She was already shifting, bringing her torso even closer to his. He felt his body respond in direct proportion. “You always could read my mind.”

  “Not your mind.” The excitement took hold as he pressed a kiss to the hollow of her throat. She wiggled a little, drawing his heat to her. “But other signs I got pretty good at reading.”

  He smiled into her eyes before he kissed her again and wrapped the world around the two of them.

  She couldn’t remember when she’d been happier with Clay. Even taking into account the time she’d spent with Clay when they were both far younger than now, she hadn’t been as happy as this.

  For the first time in his life, her son was entrenched in the bosom of a real family, not the two separate factions that made up her parents and their spouses. Alex was thriving. She only had to look into his eyes to see it.

  As for herself, there were no words to describe how she felt. Yes, professionally she was still standing on the edge of a huge abyss, but privately, it was another matter. She and Clay stole moments in the middle of the night, when he would come to her or she to him and then they would find their way to paradise together.

  The days melted into one another, and another week passed. She knew that each day was a gift, but at the same time, each day only brought her closer to the end, to a time when all this would be over and she would have to return to her own life.

  For now she was determined to savor this situation brought on by the worst of circumstances. It only went to show you, as she’d always tried to maintain, there wasn’t anything bad that happened that some good didn’t come out of it.

  Right now that good was being with Clay again.

  If her nights were filled with Clay, her days were kept busy in a different way. She worked on Andrew’s taxes, squaring away both the year that had come before as well as putting his current affairs in order.

  “Don’t know what to say,” Andrew murmured, looking over the neatly printed pages she’d presented him with.

  “You don’t have to. The look on your face says it all.”

  “Damn, if you were twenty years older, or I was thirty years younger, I’d ask you to marry me.”

  She’d smiled then, amused as well as touched. “I’m afraid you’d be too much man for me, Andrew.”

  The look in his eyes told her that he knew more than either one of them was about to say. “In my day I might have been, but I leave that to the younger generation now, like Clay.”

  He said no more, but things were understood.

  Two of those days Ilene also went into the D.A.’s office. One to work with Janelle, who prepped her for her deposition, the other to actually give her deposition. Despite the fact that she had both truth and Janelle on her side, Ilene couldn’t help feeling nervous. Simplicity Computers’ legal counsel was the best money could buy. No less than six men and women from a top firm descended upon the proceedings, all of a single mind and purpose: to cast aspersions on her credibility.

  While she gave her testimony, it felt as if the afternoon would never end. Eventually it did, but not before four and a half hours had gone by. Her mouth was dry despite all the water she’d consumed, and her body was utterly drained.

  Twilight had begun to skirt around the half-emptied parking lot by the time she went to her car. She felt like a woman walking in her sleep. Until she saw him. Someone was standing by her car, indolently leaning against it.

  Her heart climbed up in her throat, and she looked around to see if there was anyone else around, but there wasn’t. She hadn’t told anyone about the calls on her cell phone, the ones that uttered a few words of warning in her ear before disconnecting. She hadn’t wanted to worry anyone.

  Was whoever was making those calls here now?

  For a second she thought about hurrying back into the building. There was still a guard on the first floor. Maybe…

  She looked again. The stance was familiar. And then she smiled with relief.

  Clay.

  She stepped up her gait, cutting the distance between them. “What are you doing here?”

  He brushed his lips against hers before answering. “I came to give you moral support.”

  She felt like sighing and leaning against him but didn’t want to seem like a clinging vine. Just knowing he was around made her feel stronger.

  “You’re a little late for that, the deposition is over.”

  “I know. I figured there was an outside chance you were in shreds right about now and might need a shoulder to lean on.” He’d been worried about her, but he knew how determined she was to stand on her own two feet. They both valued their independence. Sometimes too much so. “Don’t forget, I’ve been through the process myself a couple of times. Nothing lawyers like better than sinking their teeth into you for sport.” He could have saved himself the concern. “I hear you held your own.”

  She’d only just now walked out of the conference room. Some of the unholy six were still upstairs, sitting around the table of torture. “How?”

  Clay winked at her. “Oh, I’ve got my ways.” Then, because she looked as if she was ready to take a swing at him, he came clean. Draping his arm over her shoulders, he brought his mouth close to her ear and said, “Janelle came out before you. She said you got through it with flying colors, even though they tried to make you retract your allegations.”

  Ilene was proud of herself for not folding, but it definitely hadn’t been easy. “So you’ve got spies everywhere I take it.”

  He laughed and paused to kiss her. “Just about. Hey
, it pays to be a Cavanaugh.” He kissed her again, then knew he was in danger of not being able to stop once he got started. Nothing seemed like enough with her. One taste led to another, one craving satisfied only gave way to a bigger one. He was already aching for her and nighttime still felt an insurmountably long ways away. “C’mon, I’ll take you home.”

  She looked at the car he’d been leaning against. “What about my car?”

  He’d meant in her car. Clay gestured toward it. “I’ll drive, you crash—no pun intended.”

  Ilene took out her keys and handed them to him. “What about your car?” Now that she looked around, she realized she didn’t see it.

  “At home.” He unlocked the passenger side, then opened the door. “I had Teri drop me off before she went on her big date.”

  The choice of words intrigued her. She found herself wanting to know things about his family, about their daily lives. Wanting to be part of those daily lives. “Big date?”

  But he shook his head. That was for another time. “Long story.” He saw the curiosity in her eyes. “I wasn’t really listening to her as she told me. I was thinking about you.”

  Well, she couldn’t exactly fault him for that now, could she? He was being sweet.

  She got into the car, automatically reaching for the seat belt as he closed the car door for her. Damn, but she was going to hurt when it was over. But she knew better than to assume what was going on between them would turn into something more this time around. Clay was Clay and she couldn’t ask him to change. The only thing she could do was hope that he would because he wanted to.

  Stop it, she upbraided herself. He came to pick you up. Be happy with what you have, stop pining after what you want.

  As Clay got in on the driver’s side, her cell phone began to ring. The soft noise jarred her, and she instantly stiffened.

  When she made no move to reach for her phone, he looked at her. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” There was an odd expression on her face. He wondered if something had gone wrong that Janelle hadn’t disclosed. Why else would she look like that?

  “Sure.”

  Praying the ringing would cease, she reached into her purse for the phone.

  The ringing continued.

  Maybe it was a call she wanted, she told herself. Maybe it was even Alex on the other end. Initially feeling that her son needed some stability, she’d written down her number for him. That way he could call her any time he wanted to hear the reassuring sound of her voice.

  But even as she flipped open her phone, her gut told her that it wasn’t Alex, wasn’t anyone she wanted to hear from.

  And she was right.

  “Don’t get too cocky,” the metallic voice on the other end of the line warned in response to her tense greeting. “Your time is coming. And once it does, you’ll be sorry.”

  Not bothering to acknowledge that she’d heard a word, Ilene slapped the phone closed.

  Clay hadn’t started the car. The tense expression on her face had his entire attention. He’d been watching her until she’d abruptly shut the phone without saying a word. “What’s the matter?”

  Ilene shook her head, firing the word “Nothing” at him.

  Definitely not nothing. Clay shifted so that he was directly facing her. His voice was stern now. He spoke to her the way he did to a reluctant witness. “Who was on the phone, Ilene?” They weren’t going anywhere until he found out.

  She pressed her lips together before launching into a lie. “Nobody. Just someone trying to get me to subscribe to the local paper.” She jerked her shoulder into a careless shrug. “I get that sometimes. You’d think that they wouldn’t have access to cell phone numbers, but—”

  “That wasn’t someone trying to get you to subscribe to the local paper. Nuisance calls don’t make you turn as pale as a ghost. You’re almost translucent, Ilene. Now who was on the phone?”

  She shook her head, giving up the pretense. “I don’t know. It sounded like E.T.”

  A voice synthesizer, he thought. He immediately thought of Walken. “All right, what did they say?”

  “That my time is coming.” She tried to shrug it off again. “Maybe I’m making something out of nothing. Maybe it’s just some religious sect—”

  “Stop it, Ilene,” he ordered. Then, when she fell into silence, he gently took her hands in his. His voice softened. “We both know who it was, or at least, who’s behind it.” Clay searched her face for some kind of a sign. “This wasn’t the first time, was it?”

  She took a deep breath, then exhaled before answering. “No.”

  Clay bit off an oath. Losing his temper with her wasn’t going to help. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “What good would it do?” Detective or not, she didn’t want him getting hurt on her account. So far, there’d just been veiled threats, a stupid drawing and her house had been trashed, but no one had been hurt. She didn’t want Clay to be the first. “He’s too smart to make the calls from his house or office. John Walken is a very sharp man. I only caught him because I accidentally came across supply lists and expenses that weren’t accounted for. Lists I’m the only one with copies of, because the originals were undoubtedly shredded the second he knew he couldn’t buy me off.”

  He didn’t care about lists or inflated stock options. He only cared about what happened to her and Alex. “He can’t get away with threatening you.”

  “And he won’t,” she insisted. “As long as you keep Alex and me safe. That’s the bottom line, Clay, keeping us safe.” And then she gave voice to something she’d been wrestling with in the wee hours of the morning, when problems always seemed to be at their worst. “And if you have a choice, if for some reason you can only save one of us, Clay, I want you to swear to me that you’ll choose Alex.”

  About to finally start the car, he stopped again to stare at her. “What the hell are you talking about? It’s not an either-or situation.”

  “But if—”

  “You’ll be safe, you’ll both be safe. Nobody’s going to harm either one of you as long as I’m alive. As long as any member of my family is alive,” Clay amended. He couldn’t cope with her flirting with her own demise. All this past week, he’d fought with his feelings. Always drawn to Ilene, he hadn’t thought he could be a good husband, a good father. Both Ilene and her son had been through a great deal and he didn’t want to complicate their lives any further.

  But try as he might, he couldn’t divorce himself from the desire to be with her. He’d developed parental feelings for the boy as well, something he’d never thought possible. He looked forward to coming home after a tough day on the streets, not just to her, but to Alex, to the innocence and purity that he saw in the boy’s eyes. Knowing this would end soon was no longer comforting. Now the tranquility of the moment was important, as well.

  As was she.

  “Don’t you get it yet?” Clay added. “My father considers you and Alex family now. There’s no way anything is going to happen to you.”

  She tried to let his words comfort her. And restrained herself from asking him if he felt the same way as his father did about them.

  And from telling him right then and there that Alex was his son. Because that path only led to trouble. But it was a path that was becoming increasingly more insistent as it beckoned to her.

  Chapter 13

  The sigh that escaped her lips seemed to come from deep down in her soul. Clay glanced at her before looking back on the road. “Tired?”

  There was a point where she thought the deposition was going to be never ending. Each time one lawyer retired, another barreled in to take his place. She was surprised that her head wasn’t throbbing.

  The smile she offered him was weary. “I feel as if someone’s vivisected me, then put me back together using a blunt needle and fishing tackle.”

  The light turned red. He gave her more than a fleeting look. “Well, they did an admirable job of it. You look terrific.”

  Without thinking,
she touched his cheek, a fondness filtering through her. He really did know the right thing to say at times. “Thanks, I needed that.”

  The light turned green. He eased his foot back on the accelerator. “Anything else you need, I’m here for you.”

  “Are you?” The question came out before she could stop it.

  “You know I am.” He looked at her again though the traffic was thick.

  Ilene wanted to believe that he would be there for her, not just today, but tomorrow and the day after that, straight on to infinity, but she knew differently, had been abruptly shown differently.

  The freeway connection was just ahead. There was a minimall adjacent to it. “Want to stop somewhere for a drink?” Clay asked.

  Any other time she might have said yes. But after being shark bait all afternoon, she just wanted to go somewhere to feel safe and pull herself together. “No, straight home is fine.” She stared at his profile. It looked somehow stronger in the shadows that were dancing around in her car. “I just need to look at my son.”

  He understood what she meant. The people you loved were a haven. “He’s a great kid.” His own words echoed back to him and he grinned. “I never thought I’d hear myself say that about someone who comes up to my belt buckle, but he is.” Clay got into the carpool lane as it fed onto the freeway ramp. “You did a great job raising him.”

  It wasn’t finished by any means, but the years so far had been good to her. “He’s still a work in progress,” she reminded him. “They tell me the roughest part is still ahead.” She recalled one friend’s on-going lament. “Teenage boys aren’t supposed to acknowledge their mother’s existence.”

  “Alex won’t be like that.”

  He said it with such confidence. “What makes you so sure?”

  He lifted a shoulder, letting it fall in a noncommittal shrug. “Just a feeling. Not all teenagers ignore their mothers, you know. Shaw didn’t. I didn’t.” Until that infamous, fateful day, he would have said that he was closest to his mother. “Although I did give my father some grief before I settled down. But that was after—” His voice trailed away. Even now he really didn’t like to talk about it.