Absolution: A Dominion Novel

by Lissa Kasey

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  Luca shook his head. “I can take you down to the parking garage, but it’s no different there. I can’t go in. Seiran won’t listen to me. He won’t even take my calls anymore. I think Sei blames me for making you go to ground. Though I’m pretty sure you were on that path before we met,” Luca said.

  “I’ll be fine.” I assured him, not feeling sure at all that they wouldn’t just open fire on me the second I stepped out of the car. Thankfully no one moved, so I cautiously approached the door. “Let me pass, oh sweet Jesus, please don’t shoot me,” I whispered as I walked through their ranks. Would I survive a hail of bullets? Probably. And wasn’t that just the shit. It wasn’t likely to tickle. And I wasn’t a pain slut by any definition.

  The door opened, and I stepped inside pausing to suck in a deep breath before heading to the elevator. I punched in the code that would let me into Gabe’s place and the elevator descended.

  I could hear raised voices before the door even opened.

  “I don’t know why this is an issue for you, Seiran. I need to go out. I promise I will be back later.” Gabe had his back to the elevator as the door swung open. Seiran was pacing the living room with a baby cradled in his arms.

  “Because I need you here. The twins are fussy and I have to work early tomorrow. You’ve been out every night this week and it’s not safe. The news keeps saying—”

  “The news is over sensationalizing this just like it does everything else. I’m a vampire for fuck’s sake. Other than a bunch of overzealous militia wannabes shooting at me a few times there’s not much that can happen to me,” Gabe interrupted. I couldn’t recall ever hearing him so irritated. And it was rare to hear him swear, even rarer that he seemed in a state of agitation that he couldn’t see that Sei was beside himself with worry. “They can’t hurt me. I walk right by them all the time and they don’t even notice me.”

  “Sam!” Seiran cried spotting me as I stepped out of the elevator. “You’re awake! Oh, finally! Thank Gaea.”

  Gabe turned my way his face a mask of exhaustion and irritation. Gone was the stoic man I’d come to know as my mentor. Usually he was the picture of perfection, but he was wearing faded baggy jeans—like he’d lost weight—an over-sized T-shirt and a pair of dirty canvas shoes. He looked like he was headed to a kegger. “No one called to say you had risen. How did you get out of the tomb?”

  “Wow. I guess I was hoping for a good to see you, Sam. Not what the fuck are you doing here, Sam.” I told him and walked past him to Sei. “What’s going on out there? The guns and the signs. What happened?”

  A baby began to cry. Not the one in Sei’s arms, but from the library. Gabe’s face completely shut down, his shoulders tensed and he turned toward the elevator. Sei went into daddy mode, heading to the other room to coo the second baby while whispering, “Shh, you’ll wake your sister. Hush now. Daddy’s here. Would be great if daddy had more arms.”

  Gabe didn’t try to help out. He didn’t respond at all. What was wrong with him? “I’m going out,” he finally said, motion coming back into his limbs like he was a doll whose strings were finally pulled. He pushed the button for the elevator. “Sam, you should stay here. There’s blood in the freezer. I’ll take you hunting tomorrow night.” He stepped into the elevator and the doors closed before I could think through the insanity of what I’d just witnessed. The world had really gone insane.

  Both babies were crying now, and so was Seiran.

  I headed into the library, which was now a nursery with a giant crib and a changing table. My bed had been pushed to the opposite side of the room but was unmade. Not like I’d needed it lately. I scooped up the crying baby from the crib. Male—I could tell by the smell of him, which was odd since I’d never have noticed that before. But he needed a diaper change. I’d only done that a million or so times in my life. I took the boy to the changing table, cleaning him up and even dressing him in a new onesie that said “Son of a witch.” By the time I had him bouncing and making happy baby noises, Seiran had gotten the other baby to calm down as well.

  “I’m sorry,” Sei whispered. “Thank you for helping me. It’s so much stress. I never expected to be doing this on my own. My mom offered to help and all I can remember is the horror of my own childhood, but now…” He looked between the two kids. “I’m getting desperate.”

  “No biggie, Ronnie.” I carried baby two to the living room where there was a playpen set up with bright hanging toys overhead for him to reach for. I set him down on his back and he began reaching for the dangling fun. “I’ve done the baby thing before. I was the oldest of five, you know. Changed lots of diapers and entertained plenty of babies.” It’d been two years—almost three since I’d left home. Longer than that since any of my siblings had been in diapers, but it wasn’t a skill that was easily forgotten.

  “What’s his name?” I asked, thinking that the boy’s pretty blue eyes matched Sei’s so well. He had little wisps of red curls decorating the crown of his head, which were all Jamie’s side of the family. I didn’t know Hanna—Sei’s baby momma—that well, but I knew she had red-gold hair.

  “Mizuki. It means beautiful moon.”

  “And her?” I asked as I gently took the little girl from him. Her eyes were the same blue but her hair jet black like her daddy. “You are going to be beating the suitors off with a stick, baby girl. Both you and your brother are going to have them lining up.”

  “Sakura,” Sei whispered. He looked so young and tired with his tear streaked face that it reminded me of how young he really was. Only a few years older than me, and an only child who’d never been allowed to play with others. The children had been forced on him. An agreement struck with Seiran’s mother to bear an heir for his freedom. Tanaka Rou was a real piece of work. I avoided her like the plague. If there was someone less prepared to have a baby it was probably Seiran Rou.

  “Cherry blossoms, right? I think I learned that from watching Naruto,” I told him and set Sakura down beside her brother. They both wiggled and reached tiny hands toward the dangling mobile. “Let them play a bit, then we’ll swaddle them up and put them back to bed. When they’re little like this their brains get engaged so quickly. They might not have the same focus we do, but they’ll wear each other out in just a few minutes, but it’s good to keep their minds engaged. It’ll help them sleep longer.” I watched them wiggle and coo at each other. They were probably just over a month old. Tiny enough to not have a lot of motion yet, but just enough so they weren’t just crying, sleeping and pooping. “They were early?”

  Sei nodded. “Just a little, but it was pretty hard on Hanna. She’s still on bed rest. They spent the first few weeks in the hospital. But I’ve had them home a little over two weeks now.”

  I went to the nursery and found blankets for the two of them since they were winding down already and started by swaddling up Sakura. “You’ve probably had people show you a million times. But practice makes perfect. The more they swing their arms and legs, the more they escape the blankets, but it’s cold yet and babies are used to being just this side of roasting.” Once she was covered, I handed her to him and she blinked sleepy eyes at him.

  It was oddly calming taking care of the babies. Like being back home only without my parents or siblings fighting in the background. I got Mizuki squared away and took him to the nursery to set him down. They had an extra wide crib with baby bumpers on the side. We laid them side by side like two little sausages.

  “I had them in separate cribs for a while but they just cried and cried. Jamie found the big crib and the hospital says it’s okay to have them together.” Sei looked about ready to keel over himself. New babies meant not much sleep. Why wasn’t Gabe here? He would have been awake at night anyway and could have allowed Sei some rest.

  “I need to get cleaned up,” I told Sei more than a little surprised that he didn’t react to me being covered in dirt from the grave still. I could feel it like a fine layer on my
skin, but his hair was a messy ponytail, and his clothes looked a little disheveled. Even his socks were mismatched, which just wasn’t normal for him.

  He nodded and sat in a chair beside the crib. The room was really cramped. But then I guess Gabe had never planned for kids. Maybe if he’d been buddies with Max, he would have added it into the cards somewhere since that guy had a million kids. Would a gay vampire ever think he might have kids? Was Gabe gay? Or bi? I’d never really thought about it. Older vampires always struck me as sort of the opportunistic sort. Food was food. Sex was always on the menu. Gender didn’t matter that much for food, but when sex was combined with food?

  My brain hurt with the philosophy.

  I headed into the bathroom, stripped out of everything, and turned to examine my back which didn’t look like I’d ever been scratched. This vampire thing was kind of crazy. Okay more than a little crazy. At least my stomach wasn’t gnawing away at me with hunger. Maybe drinking that much from Luca had helped. I stepped under the warm spray and washed away two months of grime.

  When I got out of the shower, I found clean clothes waiting for me beside the sink and a new toothbrush. I changed, brushed both my hair and my teeth—I’d need a haircut as I’d gone really shaggy—and went searching for Sei. I found him curled up in his king-sized bed in the master bedroom. Baby monitor clutched in his fist.

  I took it from him and set it on the nightstand then crawled in beside him. “When’s the last time you ate?” I asked.

  “I had a sandwich a while ago.”

  I wondered how long a while ago was, but wasn’t going to push. He needed sleep.

  “Sorry about Gabe,” he whispered. “He should have stayed to help you now that you’re back. Did you eat?”

  “Yes, Luca brought me home.”

  Seiran stiffened. “I’m not sure I like him.”

  “Why?” I asked. Wondering his take. “You were gung-ho for me dating him before I went to ground.”

  “He’s working for Max.”

  “That’s also not news.” Did Sei know about Galloway? Did Max know about Galloway? Crap, I hated being involved in the middle of all of this.

  Seiran looked away. “He says Gabe is in trouble.”

  “He might be right.”

  Seiran said nothing.

  I sighed. “We will figure this out.” Though I wasn’t sure how exactly that was going to happen.

  “Luca says Gabe’s not right. That something is off in his head.” Sei’s tone indicated he wasn’t all that uncertain Luca wasn’t right anymore. “I thought it was just the babies. Extra stress, you know. But he’s been distant a while. He should have stayed to welcome you back at least.”

  “He should be here,” I agreed. “Not because of me, but because you need him. Luca is not the one who made me go to ground.” He might be part of this whole mess, but I’d been losing it before I’d ever met him. “Gabe should have seen the warning signs before I got as bad as I did.” I could have hurt people. Only now, with my mind clear, no hint of the monster creeping up, did I realize how far I’d gone into the madness. Almost a revenant. Was that what Gabe had called it? Only I’d still felt emotion. Just an insatiable need to destroy, feed, and rage.

  “I thought he’d help bring you back.”

  “Who? Gabe?”

  “Luca,” Seiran corrected.

  “And he didn’t?” Had I just dreamed of him being at my grave playing cards?

  “He said he did. I know he was there. The visitor log scans everyone in and out. Both he and Con were there a lot. But nothing seemed to help.” He frowned and looked away. “I wanted to give you my blood. Would have soaked the ground with it, or even tried to pull you out, but Gabe refused. Said it wasn’t my place, that you’d wake when you were ready.”

  “He’s been at this longer than either of us. The whole undead thing,” I pointed out. The idea of Seiran ripping me from the grave gave me nightmares. It was probably a kindness on Gabe’s part to not let Seiran do that.

  “He’s been off for a while. Even before the twins were born. I thought it was stress from my new job and work, and the Tri-Mega…” He sighed as I wrapped my arms around him and buried us both under the covers. It wasn’t something I would normally have done, but he looked for a minute like he was just going to fall apart.

  He began to sob, a heart wrenching sound that actually had me tearing up. I fought it and just held him. “He’s not been himself for a long time. I’ve been denying it.” He sniffled and wiped at his eyes. “Not since Matthew put a knife in his chest and we dug him up. Was I wrong to bring him back?” Seiran asked. “Did I break him? Or was it my love that broke him? Our commitment?” He buried his face in my chest. “For years I put him off, refused to settle down in fear of just this. All I ever do is fuck everything up.”

  Funny how his words echoed what Galloway had said. Broken by love. I wasn’t sure that was quite it. Maybe Gabe needed to go to ground and not have Sei pull him out of it. Maybe that had been part of it, but not all of it. Gabe was old enough to know better. “It’s a lot of chaos for someone who’s used to organization,” I told Sei. “I think you both need time to adapt to the changes. And it sounds like the world has gone a little nuts while I was out.”

  His subdued attitude toward my presence was odd. Sure, I was clean now, but the apartment around us was still in disarray. A consequence of having children. But even this was a lot for both of them. Clothes heaped in a basket, some dirty, some clean, the bed unmade. The kitchen counters packed with bottles and baby supplies. Sei smelled vaguely of chemicals. “Did they put you on medication?”

  “And upped my dose,” he whispered. “I get shots every day now. I didn’t want to. Jamie insisted. I’ve been having some bad panic attacks. Hasn’t been this bad in years. A couple times a day. Haven’t been to work, but they granted me paternity leave anyway. Am supposed to start back tomorrow.”

  Gabe should have been helping with that. Their connection had stabilized Seiran. Unless it wasn’t Seiran who was unstable and it was Gabe’s chaos leaking through. Then we were all in trouble. “Sounds like the world is sort of driving us that way. To fear everything.”

  Sei snorted. “Nothing scares you.”

  “A lot of things scare me. You having kids scares me. How crazy fucking powerful are those kids gonna be?”

  “They are just babies,” Sei defended.

  Yep. Just babies to the Pillar of Earth and a woman almost his equal. “They do anything weird yet?”

  Seiran hesitated.

  “Ronnie?”

  “I heard them when they were still in the womb.”

  That didn’t surprise me. It had seemed like he’d been talking to them for a while. “Okay. And now?”

  “It’s hard to understand them now. They are louder, yet not as clear? I thought it would be easier once they were born. Gabe says it’s all in my head. But I wake up when they do. I know if they want to eat or need to be cleaned or held. But it’s just me. Two babies at once is hard. I know Hanna wants to be here. She needs to heal first. I thought Gabe would be more involved…”

  “What about Jamie and Kelly? Can they help?”

  “Jamie tries, but he’s working and Kelly has school. I can’t make them take care of babies that aren’t theirs. They’ve been having some issues anyway. Fighting a lot. I’m worried it’s because of me so I’m trying to leave them alone to sort it out.”

  “Okay, but you didn’t sign up for this daddy gig alone. Ally should be able to help even if Hanna can’t, right?”

  “She doesn’t like the babies,” Sei said.

  “How can she not like your babies? They’re adorable little spit and poop makers. And half Hanna’s, whom she’s married to.”

  “’Cause they aren’t hers.” Sei buried his face in the pillow. “She makes excuses to not help or see them. Even when Hanna tries to push. And she’s cold to me when she does come over. I don’t want to war with her because they aren’t her blood. She’s even pushing H
anna to give me full custody. We agreed to half, but that was before Hanna got so sick from having the babies. I think I’ve gotten more help from Bryar than anyone else.”

  “The fairy?” I didn’t see him much but knew he lived more upstairs in the plants that bloomed in Sei and Kelly’s apartment than down here. “Where’s he off to tonight?”

  “Some meeting with other fairies. He’s not all that good with babies. Follows instructions well, but apparently they have kids and after a few weeks they are grown enough to live on their own.”

  “Scary,” I told him.

  “Yeah. I think he was a little disappointed when I told him human babies don’t grow that fast.”

  “Ah, but they do!” I teased him and got up, pushing the blankets around him. “Before you know it they’ll be dating and off having babies of their own. Get some sleep. I’ll keep an eye on the babies while I watch some TV and read some news on the computer. I need to get caught up on what I missed in two months.”

  “Seventy-six days. We tried to wake you,” Seiran said. “Soaked the ground in blood. And everyone visited to talk to you. Even Jamie, though he grumbled about it. Tresler too, but I didn’t stick around to find out what he had to say to you. He’s creepy with a capital C. I don’t know why you slept so long.”

  “It’s okay. It’s not like I was gone years. And I actually feel pretty good.”

  “Yeah?” He looked at me funny.

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “You’re much calmer than you were before. I’m not sure if this is real or if I’ve fallen asleep in the nursery again.”

  I smacked his ass, hard enough to sting my hand. “Feel that, Ronnie?”

  “Ow, damn you.”

  “See, you’re not sleeping, but you should be. Now get some rest. I’ve got baby duty.”

  “K. Thanks. Your phone is in the desk drawer. You left it in the coat. Gabe put the money you had in your pocket in your bank account. Oh!” He rolled over and dug in the drawer beside the bed, then pulled out a bracelet. “I made this for you.”