Absolution: A Dominion Novel

by Lissa Kasey

  We all blinked at him, processing his words. It was Seiran who said it first. “Can you change on the new moon?”

  He nodded. “I don’t have to. Not every month. But I can.”

  “And it’s a raven?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “Never seen my bird. Just that I fly. I’ve always been alone. Cat didn’t know. I don’t think she could change. It started for me after Kelly and I broke up and I lost the baby…” Around the same time Con had turned to cutting as his past time.

  “So I can borrow a shapeshift now?” Was that possible? I looked at Seiran who didn’t seem to have any answers either.

  “We can try on the next new moon. See if you can borrow from me or Jamie. It’s in a couple weeks.”

  I’d be sad not to fly again. If I borrowed it once, would I have to keep borrowing it to use it again? I still felt Seiran’s power and Kelly’s. Hell, I was pretty sure I could still pull up a null field of Matthew’s power if I really tried. It all sat like seeds of energy inside of me. What if I was just collecting everyone’s power and it never faded? How much would be too much?

  “I’ll talk to Max. He might have heard of it happening before,” Luca offered.

  “Galloway had obviously seen it before,” I said.

  “Galloway doesn’t answer questions. I’m not sure he’s all there or still half asleep. I think the death of his Focus really screwed him up,” Luca said.

  “I don’t trust Galloway,” Seiran said. “Or Max.”

  “And we can’t trust Gabe,” I pointed out. “So who’s left? The Dominion doesn’t know. Are there any vampires left who might know and we can trust?”

  “Mike?” Seiran asked.

  I shook my head. Mike was old but only a few centuries old. “I’m pretty sure Luca knows more than Mike.”

  “I’ll vouch for that,” Luca said. “Super nice guy, but not quite two centuries old and since Gabe is his sire, Gabe could keep him from sharing stuff with us.”

  I hadn’t thought of that, and neither had Seiran from the expression on his face. He sighed. “Fine. You can ask Max.” He cut furiously into his steak, breaking it into small pieces. The babies started to fuss. I patted Seiran’s wrist and got up to take care of them so he could eat in peace.

  We needed some answers. I wondered if there was anything in those books I had hidden. Maybe I’d take a short trip to retrieve them. Although if Gabe was coming for me after dark, I had a feeling the evening would not be headed in a positive direction.

  Chapter 17

  The sun set and I felt Gabe at the door almost like he’d magically manifested there. He looked tired, thin, face stern. He didn’t even look in Seiran’s direction. I could feel the anger wafting off him. “Let’s go,” he said and turned to leave, not bothering to see if I was ready or not.

  Seiran gave me a shooing motion, begging me to go. He wanted to know what Gabe was doing, only I knew that was masochistic. Neither of us wanted to see Gabe fall apart. Seiran because he loved Gabe, and me because Gabe was my mentor and I looked up to him.

  I waved to Con and Luca and followed Gabe out. He said nothing as we got into his car. “I know how to hunt,” I told him as he pointed us toward downtown.

  He said nothing.

  “Why won’t you drink from Seiran?” I asked.

  “Because Seiran feels pain when I bite him.”

  “Well, yeah, doesn’t everyone? That’s why we do the whole sex thing or suggestion sex thing, right?” It took me a few seconds to catch up. Was he saying he and Seiran hadn’t had sex in months? No wonder Seiran was falling apart. “You need to go to ground,” I told him no longer willing to mince words.

  He gripped the steering wheel. “I won’t leave Seiran alone.”

  “You’re already leaving him alone. In case you’ve forgotten he has two brand new babies that you promised to help with.”

  “That’s temporary.”

  “Uh, not sure how babies were done when you were young, but babies are sort of a permanent fixture. They grow up yeah, but they are your kids for life.”

  Gabe pulled into a downtown parking garage with covered parking and took us to the first spot he found. “I’d be gone centuries.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “It’s been almost a millennium since I went under. Other than when Seiran put me in the ground.” Only to pull him out way too soon. “What would that do to Seiran? And why do you care? I thought you hated him.”

  If I’d been born to a different family, I could have been him. And wasn’t that just the kicker. There was a time I’d have looked at Sei and Gabe and thought they were the perfect couple, madly in love and unbreakable. Love didn’t conquer all, but sometimes it gave us the strength to do the right thing. “What are you doing to him now?” I threw back. “To all of us?”

  “Holding it together,” he said through clenched teeth. “Now shut up and get out of the car.”

  I swallowed back a hundred things I wanted to say and got out of the car letting the anger build. I wasn’t hungry. Had no desire to hunt. And was so mad at Gabe I wanted to hit him.

  We exited the parking garage and crossed the street in silence, taking a backdoor into a building that I didn’t recognize. The smell hit me first. Blood, sex, and death. Lots of disinfectant, but nothing could cover the smell of old blood and spend. I followed Gabe down several curving hallways until we passed an area like I’d only ever seen in porn videos. There were naked people everywhere, women and men, most of them lying on tables with their legs spread, some on their knees sucking men off, or bent over a table taking someone, or even two at a time.

  The entire place had one common theme, vampires. Everyone getting off was also eating; necks, wrists, thighs, wherever. Nothing about this appealed to me at all. It didn’t arouse me, it didn’t make me hungry, it just made me angrier.

  Why was Gabe bringing me here? Why was he here? Hadn’t he told me all about what it meant to be a gentleman when I fed? To make them feel good and treat them with respect? This was the complete opposite.

  I reached out without even thinking about it, tapping that tiny seed inside me that was Seiran’s energy. I could feel him sitting in his apartment watching Con play a video game while Luca read. Kelly had joined them too, but was on the floor playing with the twins who were giggling at faces he made.

  Seiran looked up like he could see me inside his head. The link tying us together through the earth strong enough that he could follow it. Did he really want to see? I wondered. Did he want to know what Gabe had been up too? How far he was gone?

  Seiran’s answer was a painful, “Yes.”

  I closed my eyes and let the feeling of him settle over me. The weight of warmth and calm that only the earth could provide, with an undercurrent of chaos just waiting for release. He saw what I did, and was mostly nonplussed.

  I was never really into porn, he told me.

  Me neither. At least not like this. There was no illusion of shared pleasure here. It was all about the vampires, feeding, getting off, while humans were little more than blood bags with holes. Maybe I’m still too human to see the difference.

  Vampires are essentially humans, Seiran reminded me. All creatures of the earth, taken as easily as given. And he was right. There wasn’t a creature who walked the earth that couldn’t be taken back into it. That alone was the reason Seiran should have scared everyone. Earth was both the most fundamentally powerful element and the most vulnerable. Little shifts in human existence could tear it apart, or tiny ripples from the earth could destroy humanity. Seiran should have been the one to feel all-powerful and omniscient, since he practically was, only I never got that feeling from him. Even with his senses laid over mine in that moment.

  I’m just me, he told me. Beautifully fucked up, me, as Gabe always used to call me. I could feel his sadness at the reminder.

  We’ll get him back, I told him. He wasn’t at all sure about that. And really, neither was I. I hated standing there in that room, watch
ing the vampires pretend to be more important and treat the humans like nothing more than blow-up dolls filled with blood. It reminded me of my time with Matthew, and how much I’d come to hate him in the end.

  I’d always hated the superiority complex some people had. That their skin tone or race meant they were better than I. This was no different. Being a vampire didn’t make them greater. In fact, I was pretty sure it made them weaker. Vulnerable to being seduced by blood, power, and destroyed by sunlight.

  Seiran silently agreed.

  Gabe didn’t stop. He passed through the room and into one beyond where the lights were low and music played softly. People were dancing. I realized then that the music must have been set at a vampire’s hearing level because it didn’t hurt my ears at all. And once again the crowd was filled with vampires dancing with humans, feeding.

  “What is this place?” I demanded of Gabe.

  “Feeding Ground,” Gabe said like it was a title rather than a thing. “Should have brought you here right after you changed.”

  To feed on emaciated humans looking for a way to die? Couldn’t he smell the sickness in them? How many vampires could they feed before they succumbed? “Are these people here because they want to be turned?”

  Gabe shrugged. “Some. Though most are fed on by too many different vampires to ever survive a transition. Not enough of a bond built up. Some vampires even refuse to heal their wounds as it creates a tie that might eventually be used to change them.”

  I frowned. “Healing the bite?” Did that mean when I’d been feeding off bullies I’d been creating bonds with them?

  “Our saliva is part of the change, more so than any mental bond. It’s why Roman was your sire. Every time he healed you, kept you from dying, he was creating a lasting link that could have ultimately forced your transition when you died, even without my help.”

  It was the first I was hearing of all of this. I’d sort of thought making vampires was like the movies portrayed, an exchange of blood or something. Only Roman had never given me blood. Gabe had, though I’d been mostly dead for that. “That just means all these people are going to die,” I said looking out into the crowd of sluggish humans clinging to vampires as though they were in some renaissance film.

  “Everyone dies. Even vampires. Humans are short lived. Stupid humans even more so. They made their choice.” Gabe waved to someone across the room. A moment later a small Korean kid appeared. The guy didn’t look legal, and like most Korean men I’d met, he was more pretty than handsome.

  “Who’s your friend?” The kid asked Gabe.

  “This is Sam,” Gabe said taking his offered hand and squeezing it. He tugged the young man forward and gave him a little nudge toward me. “Sam’s here to practice.”

  The kid smiled. He let go of Gabe’s hand and stepped into my space. “I love helping with practice.” He put his hands around me and tilted his head so his neck was bared. The skin there was scarred, and he smelled of anemia.

  “I’m not sure I need practice,” I told him, trying to unlatch him from my side.

  “Practice sending him images,” Gabe instructed. “He tastes all right.”

  I felt Seiran try to swallow back his hurt.

  “You’d drink this over Seiran?” I had to ask. This kid wasn’t even on the same planet as Seiran’s blood was.

  “Who’s Seiran?” The kid asked. “I’d let him have a taste too. Gabe makes it really good.”

  Gabe was already up and moving away, disappearing into the crowd. My anger at him grew. Seiran retreated, though I couldn’t help but feel his heartbreak through the shared bond. Rage grew in my gut over all of this. I felt a bit of the red haze settle over my vision as the kid nuzzled my neck like he could bite me.

  I pushed him away. “Not really in the mood,” I told him. Never really had found a good mood for nameless strangers who wanted me just for the kink of getting bitten.

  The kid shrugged, muttering, “Your loss,” and wandered off. I wondered how many times Gabe had fed on him. Even as pretty as the kid had been, he couldn’t compare to Seiran. Why the replacement? Because Gabe wasn’t feeding on Seiran or having sex with him. And that was another question. Why?

  I pushed my way through the crowds, watching in disgust at the blood orgies. Two died while vampires fed. No one seemed concerned. The vampires just stopped and went on to their next living victim. Dead blood was just dead blood, I guess.

  I felt sick. This was not the civility Gabe had taught me to expect. He’d told me that vampires were just humans with special powers. And it was our responsibility to be aware of how those abilities affected the world around us. Biting people could kill them. Messing with their minds could drive them crazy. I couldn’t imagine him letting this sort of debacle even exist in his city.

  Was all of this new? From the change in vampires due to the QuickLife? Had this been going on all along? If so, then the humans had every right to be afraid of us. This was more monstrous than me hunting bullies in Riverside. At least there no one had died. I’d never lied to them about giving them new lives only to destroy them.

  The bodies were hauled away quietly, like none of it mattered. I found Gabe surrounded by groupies, all taking turns feeding him. They were aroused. I could smell that from ten feet away. He was not. They were just food to him, and so much so the one he drank from right then was almost done.

  I stepped forward to pull him off. “Stop.” I yanked the girl away and shoved her toward her group. “She’ll die,” I told Gabe.

  “They’re all dying,” he said, a red haze tinting his normal green eyes. “Everyone is dying. The whole fucking world is dying. You spent months wishing you were dead and blaming me for bringing you back to life. Why deny them the same?”

  “Because you’re not a murderer.”

  He stood, towering over me and gave me a hard shove. “Says who? Do you know how long I’ve lived? I’ve killed thousands.” He gestured to the crowd. “They are just food.”

  “Is that all Seiran is to you? Food?”

  “He’s my Focus. He belongs to me. He is no longer human. He is no longer food.” The red in his eyes intensified. No comment about love. No emotion from him at all except the anger. I realized then that this wasn’t even Gabe I was talking to anymore. It was his other.

  I could feel Seiran recoil. Had he ever seen a vampire so lost in the revenant? He likely never expected to see it from Gabe.

  “And if Seiran knew you were here? What would he do?” I demanded trying to bring Gabe back into some common sense. “This is perilously close to cheating on him.”

  It was cheating on him. Seiran looked at the crowd and saw lots of replacement faces, some even witches, though none could compete. Gabe may not be sexually aroused, but that could have been because the revenant was out. I’d been the same before going to ground. Finding little to lift my attention other than just blood. “Seiran should leave you.”

  I didn’t see Gabe move. The next second, I was up in the air, slammed against a wall, pain shooting from my chest where he crushed me into brick. His fangs bared and eyes flashing, he snarled at me. “You know nothing of what we are.”

  “And whose fault is that?” I demanded unwilling to let him bully me. I tried to move his hand but it was like an anvil, solid and damn near unmovable. “You told me we aren’t monsters. So what is the point of all this? To prove we are? None of this will keep him with you.”

  “He can’t leave me. He’s mine. We are bound.”

  “And he is earth itself. Do you think he can’t tell it to take you back?”

  “He would never hurt me.”

  That was true. “Not like you’re killing him. Is that the point of all this? Are you looking for death?”

  “You wanted to be a monster. This isn’t good enough for you?” He growled and gripped my shirt, dragging me out the door. “Fine. We’ll do it your way.”

  My way would have been to go home and play games with Luca and Con. But Gabe dragged me out of the
club and into the darkness of downtown. We were far enough downtown that I could hear the noise from other clubs, sirens from passing cop cars, and chatter from bars. There were also armed soldiers standing at every corner.

  I struggled to free myself from his grasp. “I’d like to not get shot, thanks.”

  “They won’t even see us,” Gabe said, dragging me toward the noise of the bars. People came and went along 1st Avenue. A game or maybe a concert had attracted a crowd of people lined up to get in. And just like he said, no one seemed to see us. Was this another power he had yet to tell me about? Some sort of suggestion? Or real magic?

  Gabe steered us toward the crowd. “You want to be the monster, fine.” He shoved me toward a group of teen girls standing off to the side. “Be a monster.”

  “I don’t need any little kids.” And I didn’t hunt people who didn’t hurt others.

  “Those girls snuck out.” Gabe tapped his forehead. “Can’t you hear their chatter? They are all excited about how bad they’ve been and how much trouble they could be in for if discovered.”

  “They don’t deserve to die,” I said.

  Gabe shrugged. “So don’t kill them.” He approached the girls, looking every bit the tall and sophisticated man we’d all thought he was, smile in place, but eyes tinted with a hint of red. “Ladies, how are you fine women tonight? Looking forward to the show?”

  And it was that simple for him. They all fell under his spell, if that’s what it was. I’d never seen it before, not like that. One moment the girls were animated and talking to each other, the next their expressions were blank and they stared at him waiting, like he was some goddamned puppet master. I hadn’t even known group influence was a thing. Yet he’d just done it as easily as breathing. He reached for the first girl, and I slammed into him, using my entire body weight to knock him away.

  He growled, his connection to the girls lost, they screeched and scattered, rushing off into the bigger group and lighted areas.