Into The Game- Dungeon Crawl Quest

by C A A Allen

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  www.facebook.com/IntoTheGameBook/

  Published by

  Fantastic Science Fantasy Adventures Press

  New York • San Diego • Toronto • Nottingham • Sydney

  Copyright © 2019 by C. A. A. Allen. All rights reserved.

  First Kindle Edition: April 2019

  Book designed by

  Master IAM of Zwolle Ltd, St Ives Plc

  Cover, map, & illustrations by Darko Tomic

  This eBook is licensed for the personal enjoyment of the original purchaser only. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of fiction. All characters within are the products of the authors imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and all incidents are pure invention.

  For Charlotte Rose Arrington.

  CONTENTS

  TITLE PAGE

  COPYRIGHT

  DEDICATION

  MAP

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  APPX. A – THE STAG AND HEN RUMOR TABLE

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  APPX. B - THE ROUTIER'S REST RUMOR TABLE

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  THE FINAL CHARACTER SHEET OF RIFF JENKINS

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  ILLUSTRATIONS

  DUNGEON CRAWL QUEST GAME BOX

  LIERGARNIN GUARD

  EVON GRUNT

  THE BONNACON PAEONIA

  KOBOLD BANDITS

  WHIPSTITCH

  DEMI-SKELETON HELL-HOUNDRY

  SUMXU CATS

  HOBGOBLIN WARLORD

  DUNGEON CRAWL QUEST BACK OF GAME BOX

  CHAPTER 1

  I pat the top of my computer monitor for luck. Do me right this time. No cemetery. I palm my computer’s mouse and move the party of six adventurers forward, down a dark stone-lined tunnel.

  My screen is a clunky CRT, awarded to me my senior year of high school for being the top achiever in technology club. That was three years ago, and the color representation is still true, albeit a bit pixelated.

  I guide the party through scattered bones, down a flight of stairs, and into a hazy corridor with a thick layer of sludge on the floor. Slime drips from above as I take them through the muck, up a couple steps, then down a long hall. Their steps leave wet imprints as they run to a small room with an arched, glowing door. It is made of heavy dark wood with iron bands and has a small square peek-hatch in its upper middle surrounded by four ring knockers, one at each corner.

  A prompt appears at the bottom of my screen.

  >WELCOME TO THE MONSTER ALLOCATION CHAMBER

  “Okay.” I gulp down the last sip of my Frag Fuel—The Energy Drink by Gamers, for Gamers— and take a deep breath. This is the first time I’ve made it this far with my full party alive. And we are all maxed-out on hit points and armor class. Today has to be the day I kill this sorry overpowered SOB.

  I scoot closer to my desk. First things first—got to take down the force shield with Hawkwind’s Cadence. I click on the lead character, and his fist pounds the door using the pattern it took me three months to find. It was a long grind in the East Dungeon, and an epic battle with a Medusa Demon to get that knock—three quick, three slow, and one loud pound.

  I back the party up a little and watch the glow around the door dissipate from top to bottom. Good. Now for step two.

  The bottom right knocker morphs into a grotesque ghoul head with a long nose and large brass ring in its mouth. And there it is. I move my cursor over the head, click, and watch my lead character raise and slam the ring down.

  SCHLIK! The door peek-hatch snaps open.

  I lean in, my nose practically touching the screen. Okay, here we go.

  The bloodshot cat-eye of a goblin—the goblin—appears, peering through the grill. “Provide a password, flee, or fight.” His voice croaks through my computer speakers.

  >F) ORWARD R) IGHT L) EFT K) ICK U) SE ITEM E) NTER PASSWORD

  I survey my options. Rumor has it the password is a myth, and I am not one to flee. So, I open my possessions menu.

  >EQUIP CHARACTER Jareth Goblinmasher.

  What combination should I go with this time? I can’t mess this up. Not again. Not with the prize money at stake. The prestige. The—

  Focus. I scroll down the list, surveying every item, and choose.

  >BOMBARDMENT BOOTS.

  I reach the bottom of the list and finish with:

  >BLADE CUSINART.

  I am going to scream if this doesn’t do the trick.

  I rest my left index finger gently on top of the ‘K’ key and grip the mouse. “Here’s a password for you, deez nuts.” I press the key down and push my mouse forward, left and right. Jareth kicks the door down, jumps, and thrusts his blade across the mammoth greater goblin’s left knee.

  The blade snaps in two against his bone and blood sprays across the room.

  “Buh-wooo!” The beast shrieks, then stiff-arms Jareth in the chest, blasting him backward into the trailing party members. They go flying like pins hit by a bowling ball.

  The goblin stumbles backward and dark smoke billows into the chamber. “Bwahaaa!” He grumbles.

  My screen turns black. Then I see it.

  >Jareth Goblinmasher… DEAD

  >Runner Treborbunk… DEAD

  >Richter Ufgood … DEAD

  >Vin Brandywater… DEAD

  >Camille D'Voidoffunk… DEAD

  >Madd Overlord… DEAD

  >YOUR ENTIRE PARTY HAS BEEN SLAUGHTERED

  >PRESS THE RETURN KEY TO LEAVE THE CEMETERY AND START AGAIN

  “No!” I pick up my keyboard at both ends and slam it down, sending several of the keys bouncing to the floor.

  I growl, then hang my head in my hands. So much for the prize money and prestige. But that isn’t the main reason I play. The very existence of my favorite game is at stake. “Damn that goblin. I’ll never get past him.” I lean back in my chair and wince at the screen. Back to the temple for resurrection once again.

  My bedroom door slams into the back of my chair, barely missing cracking my skull open.

  “Ah-ha-ha-ha. Wipeout!” My younger brother barges into the small room, as unwelcome as the graveyard scene on my screen.

  “Hey,” I snap. “I’m pretty sure I locked that door, Mack.” My brother has the worst timing. He’s only one year younger than me, but it might as well be ten. Agreeing to let him be my dorm mate often feels more like a babysitting job…that doesn’t pay.

  “Oh, you did lock it.” Mack shakes the back of my chair. “But there’s not a lock I can’t pick, or a computer I can’t hack.”

  “Leave me alone.” I shove him. Why does he goof around so much? “This is serious, okay?”

  “Ol’ boy whooped you again, huh?” My window curtain gusts open, blown aside by a hot morning breeze. “It’s a glitch, Riff. There’s no way to kill the goblin, and everyone knows it.”

  I lift my head and squint up at Mack. His rat nest of dreadlocks hangs in his face. “There is a way. And I’m going to be the one who finds it.” I’ve spent countless hours of my life playing this game. I refuse to write them off as
wasted time. Solving this puzzle is going to make me a legend in the gaming industry.

  “You ain’t finding nothing.” Mack twists a lock and shakes his head. “The dude who developed that game is dead. If there is a way to kill the goblin, he took that secret with him to the massively multiplayer online game in the sky.” For Mack, the self-proclaimed “best computer hacker ever” to say this revealed how truly low he’d let himself sink. No faith whatsoever. No stamina.

  “I got this, Mack. All I need to do is double my efforts like Commander Jerjerrod.”

  “Commander who?” Mack picks up a small green circuit board from the top of my desk. “You do know that the side-channel power analysis and glitching capabilities of this board suck, right?”

  I snatch the board from him and put it back on my desktop. “The goblin’s chamber is just one in a series of puzzles that needs to be unlocked. Step one is the force shield cadence. Step two is using the Bombardment Boots to get the door open.” I curve in the fingers of my right hand, blow on the nails, and rub them on my chest. “I was the first to discover that move.”

  Mack rolls his eyes. “You’re still stuck and unable to kill the goblin like everyone else.”

  I raise a finger. “There’s a difference between them and me. They enter the chamber and get slaughtered. I have found a way to hurt the beast and draw the killer smoke. It’s the goblin that kills them. It’s the smoke that kills me. I’m one step ahead of everybody else.”

  Mack picks up my guitar from its long-standing spot against the wall. It’s an acoustic model with a mahogany top and maple neck. In the battle between guitar lessons and gaming, the computer wins the bulk of my time. But I keep the guitar around because girls like it, and because my name is Riff. I can actually strum the chords of Bob Marley’s ‘Three little birds’ with some accuracy.

  Mack blows dust off the guitar’s tuners and runs his fingers across the strings. “You’ve been stuck at that same spot for the last five months.”

  “Stop playing with my stuff.” He doesn’t understand. I’m a natural at this game. I have leveled up faster and advanced further than anyone. “I know I’m on to something by targeting the goblin’s left knee. I just need to find the correct weapon to exploit it. A weapon that won’t snap in two upon impact.”

  Mack replaces the guitar and picks a crumpled computer key out from under his shoe. “Give up, bro. People don’t even play Dungeon Crawl Quest anymore.” He flicks the key onto my desk. “Nobody wants to invest their time trying to achieve an impossible goal. You’re not going to be able to kill the goblin, because it can’t be done. It’s the greater goblin glitch.”

  “For the last time, it’s not a glitch.” I snatch up the keyboard key and snap it back into place with a little too much force. “It’s a puzzle begging to be unlocked.”

  “Wake up and smell the Red Bull, Riff. DCQ is dead as Toontown Online. It’s a game that will end up right next to those Atari E.T. cartridges in that New Mexico landfill. I mean, how in the name of Gul’dan’s butthole did the publisher release this game? If the developer was still alive, he’d be trampled by a gang of frustrated gamers.”

  If Kurht Knaud was still alive,” I let out a wishful sigh, “everything would be different. He could give clues. He could affirm it’s not a glitch.” But he was dead, and the online newspapers had barely covered his passing last week. All he’d gotten was a two paragraph obituary.

  I look back at my screen and the six tombstones with my party’s names on them. “So you need to watch your mouth,” I warn Mack, as I hit the return key to leave the cemetery screen. “DCQ is the greatest, deepest, and most ingenious game of all time.” I am also the top-ranked player, and the only person to ever cap-out at level ten. But I stop myself from reminding him. This is an age-old argument between us. That’s why he is getting a degree in productivity software development, and I am getting one in interactive media and game development. We both love gaming, but we come at it from different angles.

  I spin around in my chair and stand, careful to avoid the dirty clothes and crumpled potato chip bags. “I’ve got a large, loving faction of dedicated gamers counting on me to figure this out. My closest competitor is a butt-ugly mage named Madmartigan, who is only at level eight. But if he catches up to me at level ten, he’ll be able to equip with any weapon he finds, and I truly believe that finding the right weapon is the key to killing the goblin and unlocking this—”

  “Glitch.”

  “—puzzle.”

  Mack peeks into the crumpled potato chip bag and fishes out one lone, old chip piece. “It’s a glitch, Riff. Can’t you get that through your big tossed-salad, hairdo-havin’, cantaloupe head?” He pops the chip piece into his mouth. There’s not even a crunch as he chews, it’s so stale.

  “No. Because it’s a doorway to unlocking a whole other world in DCQ. And when I do, I will be the king of the MMORPG gaming world.” And I would get the cash prize being offered, which I need badly. But Mack doesn’t need to know that.

  “Yeah, right.” Mack steps out of my door into the living room. “You know it’s almost 9:00 a.m., and you’re a mess. Don’t you have a breakfast date?”

  I look down at my pajamas and almost laugh. I always lose track of time playing this game. And now it is time to play, “How quick can I get dressed?”

  Three bangs on the front door echo through the room.

  “Speak of the devil.” Mack races to answer it. “Let me get this for you.”

  Oh man, I can’t believe this. “Hold up. Wait a minute,” I plead.

  Mack grabs the doorknob and looks back at me. “Let me put some pimpin’ in it.” He swings the door open wide.

  “Excuse me, Mack.” Mileena—my always-sexy, but often-angry girlfriend—takes a couple steps in and straightens her white silk blouse. Her long legs, flawless lipstick, and magazine-cover hair look comically out of place in the center of our grimy bachelor pad.

  She picks her way around a coffee table weighed down by day-old Chinese food containers and empty soda bottles. “You ready?” She gains her footing and looks me over. “You’re not ready.”

  “Mileena.” I turn my computer monitor off and close the bedroom door behind me. “Is it 9:00 already?”

  She puts a hand on her hip. “You are unbelievable. I told you this was your last chance. Clearly you didn’t think I meant it.”

  I run a hand through my hair, hoping it’ll result in something other than un-showered bed-head. “No, you see, I was really close to a breakthrough in my game last night.”

  “Riff, save it!” She strides to the bathroom door, pushes it open, twists the ring off her finger, and looks down into the open toilet. “Hm, someone forgot to flush.” She flicks the ring into the bowl. “That’s what I think of your promises and your promise ring.”

  I grit my teeth. The ring is real gold, and—I thought—something special to both of us. At least she said it was when I gave it to her. Good thing the toilet is broken, so I know it’s not going anywhere. “Mileena, don’t overreact. I can be ready in just a few…”

  She looks down at my plush hobbit-foot slippers. “I should have known not to make a date with someone whose dream vacation would be in Hobbit Town. You and your dreams are going nowhere.”

  “It’s Hobbiton not Hobbit Town, and it’s actually a really nice resort in New Zealand. I think you might like it.”

  “Whatever.” She spins around, steps out our door, and snatches a pink piece of paper taped to the front of it. “This note is from the financial aid department. It says you must vacate the dorm and campus in five days, due to nonpayment.” She crushes the paper in her fist and throws it at my chest. “Broke-ass. You ain’t nothing but a broke-ass. I quit you.” She slams the door.

  I grab ahold of the knob to rush after her and…pause. If I could only make her understand why this game is so important to me. I give the knob a quarter turn, then stop. What can I do to make this better?

  “Bye, Felicia,” Mack laugh
s. “You need a gamer girl in your life, Riff, not whatever that is. I mean, I’m sorry playa, but your princess in another castle.”

  “Shut up, toad.” I have to go after Mileena. Maybe I can make her understand.

  “What ya gonna do?” Mack says, with a conniving smile.

  “I’m gonna chase her down in my hobbit slippers.” My declaration is a bit half-hearted, and then I notice something. There is a toaster-sized parcel on the kitchen table, wrapped in brown paper and tied in twine.

  I hover by the door for a moment longer, then release the knob and step toward it. “When did that get here?” I ask.

  CHAPTER 2

  Mack picks up the wadded pink slip from the floor and shrugs. “I don’t know. I think it was outside the door when I came back from class this morning. Which reminds me, thanks for the tips on that systems analysis test.” He smooths out the pink paper and hands it to me. “This is bad news. If you get kicked out of school, I don’t know what I’m going to do without my study partner.”

  “Well, not all of us got a full-ride scholarship. Some of us got to pay for this education the hard way, and the Beef and Bun is cutting hours.” That reminds me: I have to be at work at noon. I’m in no mood to flip burgers today, especially for just a two-hour shift, but it’s the only job I’ve managed to scrape up. And with the pink paper of pending eviction staring up at me, I’d best ditch the hobbit slippers and don the apron.

  “Don’t hate on me,” Mack shoots back. “I’m not the one who got caught bypassing the I.T. department’s block, got kicked out of technology club, and lost all my awards and scholarships.”

  Bypassing my high school’s firewall was the biggest mistake I had ever made in my life. But who could blame me? All I’d had at home was an outdated, sluggish computer that got me killed in every game I played. I couldn’t take one more day of the stuttering, lag, or long moments of complete frame freeze.