by C A A Allen
Salo walks up to us and glares at the goats from the corner of his eye. “Aaa… Aaaa… Aaachoooo!”
“Salud,” I say. “Welcome to the party, Salo. Does the goats smell bother you as much as it bothers me?”
He scrunches his nose and sniffs. “They are nasty, dirty animals. What is salud? Aaa… Aaaa… Aaachoooo!”
“That means ‘bless you,’ my good quester.” Other than dirty words, salud is the extent of my Spanish.
“It means bless you in what language? I am not familiar.” Salo pinches his nose and squints at the animals.
“In the language of—the Compass-Keepers.” That sounds way more mysterious than just saying Spanish.
Hans looks Salo up and down. “What else are you allergic to?”
Salo wipes his arm across his nose. “Fake-fool clerics like you.”
I give Salo a nudge forward. “Let’s get in this valley already.”
The five of us cross the remainder of the courtyard to the stronghold gate. A large crowd of henchmen, hirelings, and men-at-arms loiters there. Slim emerges from the crowd, takes a stance behind us, and nods my direction. “I’m ready to accompany the team, Captain.”
Castilian steps out from a guard shack and looks us over. “Welcome to the edge of town. Who leads this party?”
Bella gives me a push. “That’s you.”
I step up to Castilian and assume a regal pose. “I think you know that’s me.”
He holds out a hand. “Let me see your paperwork.”
I pull out my Grimoire, open it, and touch the red welcome screen dot. A new screen pops up with a green dot in the middle.
FINGERPRINT VERIFIED
JARETH GOBLINMASHER: CAPTAIN
LEVEL: 2 - ABILITIES: 50 - CLASS: FIGHTER - TOOLS: MAP+3
PARTY OF SIX WITH THIEF CONFIRMED
TOUCH HERE TO VIEW YOUR CHARACTER SHEET
●
I put the Grimoire in Castilian’s hand.
He studies the screen. “Some would say it’s not wise to start a run to Cittadella so long after midday. Not me, though. I applaud your bravery. Anyway, enjoy your time in Ranida.” He turns, looks up to the left tower and cups his mouth. “We got an accredited questing team here. Open, says me.” He puts his arm around a nearby man-at-arms, slides something in his hand, and speaks low. “Thirty gold coins on they don’t. Hurry. This is a winning bet for sure.” He looks at me and nods. “Best of luck.”
Did Castilian just place a bet against us?
Grating clanks ring out as the gate rises upward and stops with a bang. Castilian waves us through with the continuous circling of his hand. “Go now. Enjoy.”
Bella tightens the shoulder straps that connect her pauldrons and walks alongside me. “Chittor is a safe haven compared to what we are walking into,” she warns me. “As soon as we step beyond this gate, we’re fair game for all monsters.”
I take a step under the gate and get a shock.
NEW TASK: Pass Ranida’s Gate.
Pass under Ranida’s Gate into the Central Valley.
CHAPTER 9
32:55:01 hours until DCQ server shut down.
A dirt road winds in front of us, meandering into the valley below. On either side of it, a dense forest of lush green trees climbs up sharp mountains that disappear into white clouds. Already, the air smells clearer. But it carries the threat of unseen enemies.
I lead the way, away from Chittor and toward the real adventure. A single blinking prompt appears in the upper corner of my vision as I walk.
PARTY STATUS:
I focus in on the prompt and a transparent sheet appears in my vision.
REORDER THE PARTY: Yes/No?
Set the marching order of your party. Remember, only the first three members of a party can attack monsters with weapons while in a dungeon. Note: Only NPCs are bound to follow marching order instructions. (* = NPC)
Jareth Orcslauter, Fighter.
HP: 30/30
AC: 3/20
LVL: 2
*Salo Fatback, Fighter.
HP: 21/50
AC: 6/20
LVL: 4
*Biff Thunderpunch, Ninja.
HP: 7/65
AC: 7/10
LVL: 4
Madmartigan Galladoorn, Mage.
HP: 25/40
AC: 3/10
LVL: 3
Hans Talhoffer, Cleric.
HP: 21/40
AC: 2/5
LVL: 3
*Gregarious Slim, Thief.
HP: 27/40
AC: 5/10
LVL: 3
Whoa! Biff only has seven hit points? He is already close to death. I focus on the ‘No’ and the sheet disappears. “Bella, Hans, let me talk to you for a minute.” I take a few steps away from the NPCs and wave the two gamers into a huddle. “Let’s talk about our marching order. Salo has twenty-one hit points, and I have thirty. The problem is Biff only has seven. But he has a max of fifty. Who has a spell that can bring his hit points up?”
“He’ll be fine with what he has,” Hans says.
“You think?” I ask. Hans had already shown he didn’t like the ninja. Did he even care about Biff’s survival? “A couple blows from a level one monster will check him into the boxed condo. Remember, he is a ninja. Our only party member with elite class status.”
“Your ninja won’t live no matter what we do.” Hans looks down at Biff. “I’ll bet coins on it. He’s old and has a handicap. Nobody wants a party member with a handicap.”
“I’ll take that bet,” Bella interjects. “A ninja’s dexterity and intelligence make them hard to hit. I bet his armor class is a Sherman tank-like ten.”
“Sherman tanks don’t have peg legs.” Hans walks in a circle with a mocking limp. “On top of that he’s always sauced. That makes him more like a butt-naked zero.”
“Biff has the highest armor class in the whole party,” I point out, glancing at Hans, who doesn’t even have a weapon. Why is he talking so much smack when he can’t defend himself against physical attacks? “Let’s talk about magic. What do you two have in your arsenal? If Biff gets killed, one of you is going to have to advance to the front line.”
“I’m at 4/3/2,” Bella says. “That means I can cast four first-tier, three second-tier, and two third-tier mage spells. The best healing spell I have right now will only restore one to eight hit points of health. That number will increase once I hit level four. I am also pretty handy with my dagger and flail when I need to be.” She pulls a short wooden haft with a studded metal ball attached by a chain from her belt. “If you need me on the front line, I am there.”
Hans pulls open his cloak. A thick knobbed stick hangs on his belt almost to the ground. “Us clerics are not much with hand-to-hand combat, but we are the strongest magic users in the game. I am at 4/2/1 with cleric spells. Another kill or two should award me the next level, and a few spells with semi-nuke type potency. I am content to stay on the back row to heal or cast spells on our enemies, but if Biff and Bella eat grass I can step up with my shillelagh. It packs a wallop, and I’m not afraid to use it against any threat.”
His words sounded great and all, but I hadn’t forgotten Bella’s story about him ditching her in her hour of need. “Well let’s get on with the foraying then,” I say. “Just be ready to heal Biff, if he needs it.” I walk to a nearby tree, break off a branch, and take a deep breath of the crisp air. I still can’t believe I’m in the Valley of Fear.
Bella cocks her arm back and hurls a baseball-sized rock into the shrubbery.
“Baaaaaaawr.” Bushes smash and trees sway as an unknown entity scurries deeper into the forest.
“Don’t dally, Riff.” She continues ahead. “Our plan doesn’t include lost time and hit points to wandering monster attacks.”
Biff hobbles up next to Slim and we resume our march. “I agree wholeheartedly that we should not pussy-foot,” our one-legged ninja says. “There is a small village on the other side of the gate with a lovely little pub. We re
ally must get there quickly.”
“Preach.” Slim points a long cane with an ebony shaft forward. Its top features the carved ivory bust of a gape-mouthed Asian man with a ponytail. “The sooner we pass Ranida’s Gate, the better. This area has an ugly reputation at night.”
“Don’t put it so damn lightly.” Salo turns around from his position in front of the party. “We’re dead in this part of the valley after dark. The scum that comes out of this forest at night will rip us to bloody shreds. Ranida’s Gate closes at sundown, we need to be on the other side of it before then.”
What is wrong with these NPCs? I have been through Ranida many times in the game, even camped out here overnight. Sure, there were wandering monsters, but they were always easy to kill—level up fodder, really. But maybe the real game is different.
“What exactly happens here after dark?” I ask.
“It’s a different terror every night.” Salo removes the mace from his belt and rests the shaft over his shoulder. “The wall has been erected to keep those terrors away from the populated areas to the north.”
“It won’t be a problem,” Bella says. “We’ll be on the other side of the wall long before nightfall.”
I take up a position alongside Salo and scan my map. I can’t wait to see what A-Sampir has in store. “We have one order of business about halfway to the gate, but it shouldn’t take long. Let’s pick up the pace, Salo. I’d like to keep this party on schedule.”
After twenty minutes of trudging the dusty road and scanning the forest lines for monsters, the greenery gives way to a set of identical man sized statues, one on either side of the road. They are square blocks of white stone topped with oversized humanoids with webbed feet, three-digit hands, and no heads.
Bella looks up at one of the figures and shivers. “Those things are so creepy.”
I touch the statue’s foot and look up the road. “According to the map, the fourth set of these is where we need to make our turn. I wonder who knocked their heads off.”
“Sirens,” Biff says. “Lovely young ladies, and quite accommodating, if you know what I mean. Contrary to what Salo says, not everything that comes out of Ranida after dark is so bad. I was once a member of a party in this land that got attacked by two-dozen bandits and an earth giant. The encounter took us so long to snuff out that we missed the gate curfew. My party hunkered down and prepared for the worst when we saw them.”
Biff looks up into the sky with a smile. “Dozens of gorgeous sirens came down from these hills. Blondes, brunettes, and redheads in all shapes and sizes. They sang to us all night, and made fire-roasted treats consisting of marshmallow, chocolate, and honey cracker. Just before sunrise, the girls lopped off all the statue heads along this road. I asked one of the beauties why. Why desecrate the statues? She gave me a kiss on the cheek and said sirens only like real men.”
“You are a true player, Biff,” Slim says. “A true one-of-a-kind player.”
“Let’s keep going, guys.” Bella resumes the march, but it doesn’t redirect the conversation.
“Bah,” Salo frowns. “Those weren’t sirens. They were succubus. Killers, all the same.”
“I think I know the difference.” Biff rubs his hands together. “They were killers though. Just not the way you’re thinking.”
An hour later, the sun has dipped below the tops of the trees, and we reach the fourth set of statues. I walk around the one located on the right side of the road. “Somewhere back here a path will take us to the map point.” I prod through the bush with my sword and find a faint dirt trail heading back into the forest. “This has got to be it. I’ll take the lead.”
“We don’t have time for this.” Slim jogs after me. “Sunset’s not far off.”
“Neither is the map point.” All the same, I quicken my pace.
We duck under branches and step over fallen tree trunks into the dense wilderness. The path widens and turns muddy as we approach a two-story stone compound set against the mountain cliffs. The walls are pitted and crumbling with piles of fallen rubble at the base. A modest gatehouse in front has a crashed portcullis in a pool of sludge.
“What a dump.” I kick a rusty iron bar at my feet into the sludge. Several small tree frogs jump from the slop into the forest.
Hans walks to the sludge, raises a boot and smashes it down onto a frog mid-hop. “Slimy little green roaches.” He twists his boot on a bar to clean the entrails off. “Let’s go in.”
We step under the gatehouse into a large open courtyard littered with rotting wood tables and chairs in pools of water and mud. A hallway with an open pair of wood double doors leads into the compound in front of us. We weave through the debris and take a stance at the hall entrance.
Slim glances into the opening and steps back. “In my experience, places like this are death traps. Since I am not being compensated for this run, I’ll wait safely right here for you all.”
That’s right. He has a no services clause.
“More loot for us.” I shrug and move to the threshold, looking in. The corridor is long and straight, with cracks and gaps in the rough stone brickwork. Water drips down the walls, dampening the floor. The air is cold with a salty tang. Dingy stained-glass skylights high above dimly light the way to a closed set of wooden double doors far at the other end.
I step into the hall, my foot slipping out from under me, and fall to a knee. “Watch the floor. Looks like there is some grime build-up.” I stand carefully and try to regain my composure. What a bad start to my dungeon crawling career. I draw my sword. “Let’s do dungeon number one. What we came for is just behind those doors down there.”
Salo takes a position to my left and points the jagged metal hunk on his mace forward.
Biff spins a war hammer in each hand and stands to my right. “Colossal.”
We walk slowly to the center of the hallway and stop at an ornate carved door set in the right wall. A painted gold crown decorates its black cast iron doorknob.
Salo eyes the knob. “What say you, Jareth?”
“Treasure.” Biff points to the knob. “There is sure to be something of value behind a door with a crown knob like this.”
At home, I would never pass this up. But we have serious time constraints now. “You’ll have to come back for it on your own time, boys. This door is not on the map. Our treasure lies behind the double doors ahead.” As if hearing my comment, the double doors open with a clank.
We all freeze, and I brace for my first real encounter.
Two green humanoids step into the hall, speaking to each other with squeaky clicks. They have shiny slime-covered skin, and paunchy bodies topped with toad heads. Each has a dagger at its hip and holds a three-pronged trident spear. One puts his hand on the other’s shoulder and doubles over with laughter.
Salo pulls the shield from his back and positions it in front of him. “Liergarnin guards.”
I know this monster from the game, but I simply call them Toad-Fish Men. They are level one foes, but vicious none the less.
The upright Liergarnin notices us and yanks his partner upright by a leather shoulder strap. He points at us, and opens his toad mouth to croak out, “Kur-pla.”
They both tilt their tridents forward and charge at us full speed. “Kurplaaaa!”
LIERGARNIN
LEVEL: 1 (200XP)
HIT POINTS: 11
ARMOR CLASS: 10 (Natural armor)
FREQUENCY: Rare
NO. APPEARING: 2-24
DAMAGE: By weapon or 3 - 7
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Bite, Leap
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Amphibious, Slippery, Speak with Frogs and Toads
INTELLIGENCE: Low
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
SIZE: M
TYPICAL WEAPONING: Dagger, Three-pronged trident spear, Weighted throwing net, Harpoon
DESCRIPTION: Liergarnin have paunchy humanoid bodies with a toad’s head and huge fishlike eyes. Skin is shinny green, gray, or spotted yellow with sheen from slime covering. Lier
garnin only wear leather harnesses with shoulder straps for their weapons and personal effects.
CHAPTER 10
31:05:16 hours until DCQ server shut down.
Salo raises his shield. “It’s going to be frog legs for dinner.” He sprints forward. “Aaaaaah!”
I raise my sword and run to catch up with him. Energy pulsates through my hand into my body. Feels like that abilities number is kicking in. I’m ready.
Both of the guards launch their spears at us in unison. Salo blocks one projectile with his shield, and then slams the business end of his mace onto the oncoming monster’s head.
I duck under the soaring trident intended for me and slide feet first into the toad-fish man’s legs, upending it into a face plant slam.
Biff crashes his peg down on the fallen toad’s back. “Kill it, Jareth.”
I raise my sword and pause. Am I about to kill something for real?
The toad stretches out its neck and bites my ankle. “Arghh!” I roar as pain shoots up my leg. “It bit me.”
The toad looks up at me with bulging fish eyes. “Kurpla!”
Biff pounds his peg down on the creature’s head. “Kill it already.”
I slice down across the back of the toad’s neck, then raise my sword up and quick slice down again. With the second slice its head lops off to the side, attached only by a few thin strings of oily meat.
The smell of dead fish rises from the sprawled monster. I pinch my nose, gag, and move away from the carnage. Did I really just do that? Killing had been a lot easier with a computer between me and my enemy, and it had never gotten my heart racing like this. Then, I get a flash in front of my face.
*DUNGEON CRAWL QUEST PRIVATE BETA 1 WARNING*
You were hit for damage! There are currently no safeguards against real pain, and real death in this private beta version of DCQ. If you die while immersed in the game, you will die in real life.