by C A A Allen
The road curves to a tree-lined straightaway leading to the wall’s gateway. Two watchtowers flank a closed iron spike door.
Salo looks up at the trees as the sun dips. “We’re cutting this close.”
“Why does the gate look closed?” Biff asks.
“Because it is,” Slim says flatly.
“But the sun’s not fully set yet!” I break into a jog. The others follow, clanking and croaking and hobbling behind me until we finally arrive in front of the watchtower.
A man at arms looks down from the top of the wall and waves. “No entry until the morning.”
Salo grabs the gate with both hands and rattles the bars. “But the sun has not set yet. We demand entry.”
The man shrugs. “The monsters of Ranida have been encroaching on the valley earlier and earlier as of late. No entry for you, despite your demand.”
“We have gold.” Bella glances at me then back up at the man.
The guard turns away. I catch a few mutters as though he’s speaking with someone out of view. Then looks back down. “I can send the gate master for three hundred gold coins.” He lowers a rope down the wall with a sack attached to the end.
“Would you accept five?” she asks.
The man holds up five fingers and leans over the wall. “Five hundred?”
“No.” I cringe as Bella clarifies. “Five gold coins.”
The sack and rope instantly ascend back up the wall. The guard stands up straight. “I should place an arrow in your forehead for asking.” He disappears behind the wall.
I put my hand on Bella’s shoulder. “Looks like we are going to stay the night here.”
Biff looks up. “They are being unreasonable.”
I turn to the forest and look up into the hills. “Hey, Biff, any chance we get sirens tonight?”
“It’s a full moon, so not likely.” He walks back along the tree line, stops, and looks up at one. “This one looks excellent. Salo, lift me up a few branches. I will do the rest.”
Salo and Slim lift Biff up to a lower branch, where he grabs hold, swings, climbs, and disappears into the tree.
Bella and I look up. Leaves and small twigs snap and fall in our faces.
“Look at him go.” I guess he really is a ninja. “Are you going up there to scout a way over the wall?” I call after him.
Slim clasps his hands into a step and holds them down. “You’re next, Bella. Up you go.”
“What’s up there?” she asks.
Salo positions himself alongside of Slim. “Several trees along this road have wooden platforms to ride out the night. Each can hold two of us at best.”
Bella takes the offered hand-step and gets launched up to where she can grab a branch and climb. I watch her navigate a few limbs before I lose sight of her in the leaves. “Are you okay up there?” I call.
“I made it to the platform,” she says. “It’s not so bad. You can see everything from up here.”
“I’ll take care of her, Jareth.” Biff calls down. “You all try to find sturdy platforms. And be quick about it.”
I really should have thought this through so that I’d end up on a platform with Bella for the night. If nothing else, to plan strategy for tomorrow. It seemed a waste to go to sleep so early, but what else could we do?
Slim walks a few trees deep into the forest and turns to us. “One of my thoroughbreds has a luxury platform a little ways back. I’m going to spend the night with her. I will see you all at the gate in the morning. If you survive the night.”
Salo looks up into several trees then stops. “Nice, very nice. I claim this one.”
He sure seems excited. There has to be a solid platform up there. “I’m with you,” I say.
Salo points up to a neighboring tree. “Hans, that one looks to have a semi-steady platform. You better take it. I’m going up.” Salo scales the tree.
“You good with that one, Hans?” I ask.
He grabs hold of a low branch and glances my way. “I bet five gold coins I’ll be on my platform before you.” He jumps to the next branch but drops down when it snaps off in his hand. “Oof.”
“You’re on.” I jump to the lowest branch, dig my boot onto a limb, and double time scamper up doing my best to follow the route Salo was so quick to negotiate. Branch after branch I ascend to a circular platform around the tree trunk. I look over to Hans’s tree and try to catch my breath. “I beat him Salo. He’s way down there.”
Salo squats on his heels with his mace pointed downward. “We will take turns. One sleeps while the other guards. If anything tries to get up here during the night, kill it. You sleep first.” His sentences are terse. Clipped.
With so many amazing things going on I haven’t even thought of rest. “Getting some sleep is probably a good idea.” I lay on my back and stare up at the moon. I can tell Salo isn’t happy with me. I’m not sure I want to hear the answer, but I ask anyway. “So, how do you think I am doing as captain?”
“Worst I’ve seen,” he says briskly. “When you passed up on the ornate door, let the Liergarnin King go free, and had no means to open that chest, you cost me gold and experience. I could have made the next level and had a trove of sweet, precious gold. Now, we’re stuck in Ranida after sun down with no riches. So far this run is a bust.”
Gold is not exactly the primary objective on this run. But if our NPCs knew that, they wouldn’t have agreed to join us. “Is there anything you think about other than gold and leveling?”
“Yes,” he answers quickly. “The Pole of Pounding. The experience points I would be granted for equipping with it would bring me up to the elite class of Lord. I want that pole more than anything. But, of course, capable captains make artifacts exempt, and the incapable are not good enough to get anywhere near one anyway.”
Ah, the elite classes. You can switch from your basic class to lord, wizard, bishop, or ninja, once you become more powerful. The special requirements for abilities, alignment, and allowed possessions turn me off of making the switch. But for NPCs it’s probably the greatest thing that can happen to them.
I know what can cheer this man up. “A rumor table back in Chittor boasted that several artifacts could be found in the goblin’s chamber, and that’s where we’re headed. If we come across that pole you crave, it’s yours. I got you.”
“Your party members will kill you for giving up such a valuable item.” The corner of his mouth turns up, hinting at a smile. “But I accept your generous offer, Captain Goblinmasher.”
TERMS AMENDMENT: Salo Fatback, Fighter. (-10 Gold/-20% Share/+ The Pole of Pounding Artifact Privileges)
“It’s official then, my man. I hope we find it.” I look into the trees and close my eyes. What scourge is going to come down from these hills tonight?
CHAPTER 11
24:00:00 hours until DCQ server shut down.
“Ribbit, ribbit.” I open my eyes to find a bloated, yellow and black tree frog sitting on my groin. Its mouth opens to reveal spiked teeth dripping with mucus.
“Don’t move,” Salo whispers. “One bite will paralyze you, not to mention end your love life.” He gently positions the handle end of his mace against the frog. “Lift your pelvis. Coax it to leap.”
A bubble of sticky slobber builds up around the border of the frog’s mouth. “Nice froggy, froggy,” I whimper.
Just as I move my hips, the frog opens its mouth and bears down. “Rrrri–”
Whack! Salo launches the frog off my groin like a golf ball from the tee.
I sit up and watch the green streak fade into the darkness. “Way to tee off Kermit, Salo.
“Shhh.” He holds a finger at his lips. “It has friends at the base of the tree, millions of them.”
I dip my head down and listen. The sound of wildlife fills the air with hoots, buzzes, and ribbits. But mostly ribbits. “I guess the king sent his minions.”
Branches thrash in a neighboring tree. “Help!”
I peer into the darkness, but only make out l
eaves and a faint flicker of light. “Hans, is that you? What’s going on?”
“Frogs keep trying to hop on my platform,” he says, out of breath. “They’re trying to bite. Frogs aren’t supposed to have teeth, are they?”
Salo peers in the direction of Hans’s voice. “Listen up. You will have to keep fighting them off until daybreak. Do not get bit.”
“What? Daybreak? I can’t.” Branches snap and leaves rustle. “Take that, you nasty little sheisse. Ugh, the guts are putrid.”
Salo lies down. “Your turn to take watch,” he says to me. “Hold your stance, punch out to defend, and strike like a Medusa Demon.”
“Got it.” I draw my dagger. “Why aren’t they swarming us like they are Hans?”
Salo closes his eyes and crosses his hands over chest. “Your friend has the scent of toad guts on his shoe from the one he stomped at the king’s compound. It’s drawing them in.” Is that a smile I hear in his voice?
I have to warn Hans before he gets bit and dies. “Hans!” I yell. “Toss your boots away from the platform. They can smell the toad guts on them.”
“Arghh.” Branches snap downward. “I did it. But they are still coming. Not as many. But they are still... Ugh.”
Crap. Well, he did kill one on his platform.
“Don’t sleep, Hans,” Biff calls out from the distant darkness. That’s definitely a smile in his voice. “When the master is away, the frogs hop in and bite.”
“Yeah, Hans,” Bella calls out. “Stay strong.”
I sit with my back to the tree trunk, with my dagger out and ready. This is going to be a long night. For the first hour, I’m on high alert. Only two more frogs make their way up, but I nudge them off the platform, making sure not to kill them and send their scent into the air. After a while, I don’t see them again. I don’t hear them.
I close my eyes, straining my ears for any ribbit or sound of attack. In fact, I think I hear better when my eyes are closed. My tired, tired eyes…
* * *
“Wake up.”
I raise my eyelids just in time to see Salo’s head descend below the platform. “You make a poor watchman.”
I grab my dagger from my lap and stand, putting one arm around the tree trunk. Brightly colored sunrays blast orange and yellow through the trees. I can make out Hans’s empty platform in the tree across the way. Did he survive the night, or succumb to the wrath of the tree frogs?
I position myself to climb down and my stomach rumbles. What I wouldn’t do for some Roscoe’s right now. I’m hungry as a hostage. A sharp pain in my abdomen causes me to double over. What was that?
YOU HAVE BEEN DEDUCTED A SINGLE DAY’S RATION: -(1) Single Day’s Ration
Eat once a day to avoid a loss of hit points.
It seems I forgot to eat.
Hunger pains cost you 2 damage. Status: 24/40
And it cost me hit points. I put a hand on my stomach and stand as the pain eases away. I guess by ‘deducted’ the game means I ate. Well, I’m not hungry now. Unsatisfied, but not hungry.
I climb down the tree and plant both feet firmly on the ground, hoping everyone else made it through the night.
A couple dozen questers talk amongst themselves at the foot of the gate. They all have loaded packs and various weapons. Bella, Biff, Salo, and three other men kneel over a body stretched out on the ground.
Oh no! Hans?
I run up to my party members, kneel next to Bella, and look over the body. A man with a mangled face and multiple yellow blisters on his arms shivers uncontrollably on the ground. It’s not Hans. I blow out a breath. “Who is this? And where are Hans and Slim?”
One of the men in the circle runs a hand through his hair. “Yesterday was the worst. First, an encounter with an infuriated knot of Liergarnin cost us three men. Then, when we finally made it to the gate, it was closed. The three of us were lucky enough to make it onto tree platforms. Osnat here picked a tree with no platform and took the brunt of the frog’s fury.”
“Unlike this sad sack, I survived.” Hans elbows his way into the circle and kneels next to me. He hacks like a barking seal. “This guy was a welcome diversion for me, though. I was close to getting overrun.”
“Hans.” I pat him on the back to help with the cough. His hair is an absolute mop, lips are cracked, and eyes are bloodshot red. “You’re alive.”
“But you look half dead.” Bella interlocks her fingers and pushes her hands out until her knuckles crack. “Scratch that—he looks whole dead.”
“Fighting those frogs off kept me up most of the night.” Hans looks at the bottom of his left boot. “I got my footwear back though. Vindictive little arschlochs.”
Bella spins a finger in a circle and rests her hand on the man’s chest. “Parva sanitatem.” The man stops shaking and moans. “I did what I can, but unless someone here is willing to use a level eight spell, he’s going to die.”
Two of the men lift the injured man by his arms. “Thank you for the help,” one says. They drag their friend toward a shaded area in the forest.
Slim passes by them, flanked by two slender females. He has a steaming mug in one hand and his cane in the other. Both ladies are wearing short, form fitting robes. The girl on the left has long curly blond hair and holds a large serving tray with several round loaves of bread. The other has pale skin, leaf-shaped ears, and holds her head down with a hand on Slim’s shoulder.
“Good morning, Captain. I brought breakfast for the whole party.” Slim hands his cane to the pale girl and raises his cup. “For health.”
“Slim, you’re alive.” I guess I’m not such a bad captain after all. My whole party made it through the night.
“Slept like a baby thanks to the family here.” He sips from the top of his mug and tilts his head to the girl with the tray. “Ahhh. You make a mean cup of java, Melusine.”
Biff plucks a loaf from the tray and bows in the girl’s direction. “Some ale would go nicely with this.”
I pick a loaf and take a bite. The bread is soft and warm. “Bella, you gotta try this.”
Bella takes one, breaks off a hunk, and gives a cautious bite. “Mmm. I was just about to ask you for a ration, but this is actually very good.”
Not to mention free.
“She mashin’ for a ration, Riff.” Slim nods his head. “The secret is nutmeg and cinnamon. Makes these things a true delight.”
Bella, Salo, and I all partake in the bread. Hans comes over slowly with one hand massaging his temple.
Slim steps back. “Woah, Hans.” He shields his eyes. “You’re looking like Baba Yaga this morning. I could carry a bushel of kumquats in those bags under your eyes.”
Hans glares at Slim. “The gate is about to open. Let’s be there when it does.”
A man and boy walk cautiously toward Hans. The man raises a shaky hand like a child asking permission to speak. “Excuse me, sir. Are you Hans Talhoffer, the cleric from Chittor?”
Hans stands up straight. “You’ve heard of me.”
The boy steps forward. “Can you show us the dragon?”
Hans raises his left hand and chants, “Partum a malum magia dracone.” He snaps his finger and white smoke puffs up from the ground. The little purple dragon tiptoes out of the smoke, spins in a circle, and disappears. “That’s all I can reveal today. I have a major run in the works on the other side of the wall.”
“I loved it.” The boy jumps up and down. “You are truly great, Mr. Talhoffer.”
The man walks backward with a giant smile. “Thank you. Your sorcery is second to none.”
Wow. Hans has fans. If only that dragon could fight for us instead of just looking cute. I don’t get what these people see in Hans.
Slim kisses each of his lady friends on the cheek. “Bye, babies.”
I watch the girls go back into the forest. “What’s the deal with all these forest girls you know?”
“I go way back with Melusine and Manchette. It’s good to have acquaintances throughout t
he valley. Be known on the outer-planes, recognized on the inner-planes, and accepted in the local kingdom, young captain.”
The gate cranks up, and the crowd streams through ahead of us. We step under the portcullis into a wide, open clearing. A large building on the left side of the road has several guards in front of it. To the right, a small two-story building has questers going in and out.
“Anything here worth exploring?” I ask.
Slim gives me a slight push toward the two-story building. “Yes. If you want to catch a severe case of haggish herpes, that brothel has the worst concubines the valley has to offer.”
A heavy woman with a large crooked nose leans out of a top story window. “Bifford T. Thunderpunch!” She waves our direction. “You best come and see me.”
Biff ducks his head and hobbles away fast. “We should keep going. This is not a good place to be brought into temptation.”
TASK COMPLETE: Pass Ranida’ s Gate.
For completing the task you earned 400 experience points!
NEW TASK: Touch the pillar at Cittadella.
Touch the pillar located at the four-way crossroads in the center of Cittadella.
“Our new task is the pillar at Cittadella.” I pull out my map and flip it open. “It’s about an hour’s walk.” Cittadella is the center city of The Kingdom of Fear. I can’t wait to see it in person. “Once in the city, we will need to find a cobbler with a blowout sale on Bombardment Boots.”
As we continue along the road, I slide out the Keris to admire the blade. The morning sun shines off its sharp edge. That sheath better turn this weapon into a cat-eyed goblin slayer.
“Nice dagger.” Slim says.
I return the blade to its sheath. “It will be even nicer when I complete it. I’ve been promised artifact-level killing powers.”
“My weapon has some decent killing power.” Slim wraps his hand around the carved ivory bust that tops his cane. “This end is great for bludgeoning.” He thrusts the shaft forward and then pulls it back to reveal a four-inch spike protruding from the bottom. “And this end for piercing.” He twists the bust retracting the spike. “It can also cast a powerful spell versus the undead that I haven’t used because it drains a level.”