by C A A Allen
“Okay.” It’s like something from out of Assassin’s Creed, but with magic ability. “Where can I get one?”
“I acquired this from a Chinese polymath monk.” He returns the cane to his side and resumes his shoulder-dipping limp strut. “I can do some uncommon damage with it.”
I’d like to see Slim in action with this cane, preferably in my party. What were the chances of me changing his mind about fighting with us? “So, Slim, strong parties and top coin are your requirements, if I remember correctly. Why are you so picky about who you quest with? If you’re as good with that weapon and thief skills as you say, I think you’d be a popular hire across the board.”
“Prosperity over popularity.” Slim raises his cane high and steps forward like a proud drum major. “I have a personal policy when it comes to joining questing parties. Only do so if your team captain is a wealthy wizard. You live longer that way.”
Bella looks down at her palms and spreads her fingers. “Quests must come few and far between for you, then. I haven’t seen a wizard since I’ve been here.”
“They don’t come around like they used to,” Slim says. “At one point I ran with a wizard captain named Spliff. After my last run with him, he told me that the Kingdom of Fear no longer had anything to offer that wouldn’t kill him, and that he would not quest again until the new world is unlocked.”
Wow, that pretty much sums up how DCQ lost its popularity in a nutshell. Without an expansion, people got tired of the same old thing. “Our endgame is to unlock that new world,” I say.
“Is that right?” Slim raises an eyebrow. “Then you must think you got what it takes to beat Setan Kober, the cold-hearted greater hobgoblin warlord that keeps the new world from us?”
So, my arch-enemy has a name.
“Did you here that, Riff?” Bella says, echoing my thoughts. “The cat-eyed goblin is named Setan.”
A MONSTER HAS BEEN IDENTIFIED: The monster ‘Cat-eyed Goblin’ has been revealed as ‘The Greater Hobgoblin Warlord Setan Kober’ by Gregarious Slim.
This monster is now known to you and your party.
“Most people don’t like to say it,” Slim says. “I quested with the great captain Spliff on a few runs at Setan. Some of them even made it all the way to the monster allocation chamber.” He looks down and grimaces. “Combat there left a lot of men dead. You know, we never so much as made that freak bleed. It’s a nasty place to go.”
“A completed Keris is the key.” I show him the dagger again. “I’m two-thirds of the way there. When I complete this, we’re going to kill Setan. Before sunrise tomorrow, in fact.” My pulse double-timed as I realized I’d not likely sleep again unless I was dead or back in the real world.
Today was game day.
“Oh, really?” Slim smirks and looks at me from the corner of his eyes. “Just remember, my contract with you ends in Cittadella, Captain.”
Well, I tried.
The road we’re on continues to a circular wall, spotted with towers and ringed by a moat. Tall structures and smoking chimneys of the enclosed city rise from inside.
Slim straightens his collar. “I love this city. It is the meeting place for all the humanoids of the valley. Human, dwarves, halflings, gnomes, elves—”
“—and all types of half-breeds.” Hans cuts in.
Slim continues as though Hans is nothing more than a fly that buzzed across his path. “Half-elves, half-orcs, brownies, succubi, and I’m pretty sure I’ve met at least a few half-demons in the dead of night. There is a whole lot of coin to be made off the fools in here.”
“Any elf rangers ever sighted in Cittadella?” Bella smoothes her outfit and leans Slim’s direction.
“Not that I have noticed,” Slim says.
“Good.” Hans smirks. “If I run into Legolas, I’m slapping him.”
“Ha.” I cover my mouth.
Bella takes firm steps forward. “You two are some haters.”
We continue over the moat bridge, between two towers, and down a building-lined road to a circular clearing in the inner city. There, the road splits in four different directions, roughly corresponding to the points of the compass. We continue to the center of the roundabout where a waist-high stone pillar stands, crowded with rotten fruit and small trinkets. A rusty cast-iron pole with direction arrows rises from the pillar’s center.
West - The Labyrinth at Keighley.
North - The Haworth Caves.
East - The Dungeon of Denholme.
South - The Stronghold at Chittor.
“The pillar of Duomo.” Salo rubs the stone’s top corner. “This is where all the great quests start. A rub of the stone will bring us good luck in any direction.”
Slim and Biff each rub opposite corners of the pillar. Slim wasn’t even coming with us. Where was he heading?
Hans pushes between Bella and me. “Stupid NPCs. Only gaining hit points will bring us what we need.” He snatches a small clay figure off the pillar and crushes it to dust in his fist. “You’re all idiots.”
Bella rubs the pillar and glares at Hans. “When karma strikes, you better stay far away from me.”
I step next to Bella and give the pillar a rub. “Me too.”
TASK COMPLETE: Touch the pillar at Cittadella.
For completing the task you earned 500 experience points!
NEW TASK: Enter the West, North, East, or South-East dungeon.
Explore Cittadella to gather information and gain possessions for your dungeon run.
“Task complete.” I circle around and look down each of the city’s four streets. “Bombardment Boots time.” My usual place at the North end of the city won’t even let you in the door without a hundred gold coins in your possession. “Who knows the best place to purchase cheap footwear?”
CHAPTER 12
15:30:00 hours until DCQ server shut down.
“No footwear for me.” Biff says, staring at a single-story house at the corner of the intersection. It has several open windows with propped top-hinge shutters. A scruffy man sits in a window sill, his legs dangling out. He sways back and forth with a large mug in his hand. “Oooh.” Biff exhales slowly. “That looks blissful. I believe it is time for some liquid compensation. The Pub of the Left has a colossal mead I enjoy.”
“It’s way too early for alcohol,” Bella says. “Can’t you wait ‘til afternoon?”
“Might not live that long.” Biff faces me and holds out a palm. “Come on now.”
I do owe Biff one pint per town, so I dig in my sack. “Do you know a spot for Bombardment Boots?” I pull out a penny a drop it in Biffs eager palm.
SUBTRACT: 1 silver penny to Biff Thunderpunch. New silver penny balance: 14
He clamps it in his fist. “Nope, my expertise stops at drinking establishments.” He hobbles off to the pub.
Salo follows. “I will be at the pub as well.”
“Alcoholic NPCs.” Hans scoffs. “I should have handled the hiring duties.”
“I know a place for boots,” Slim says quietly. “Come on, Captain.”
We follow Slim down a narrow, twisting alley lined with houses crammed in the small space.
“Hey, look.” Bella stops and rests a hand flat on a large glass picture window. “Potions. All different kinds.”
I look up at the shop’s marquee: SOREN’S POTIONS & SCROLLS – Rare, Medium, Well Done.
This could be good. A few emergency healing potions can be a questing captain’s best friend. I step up beside Bella and look inside. Four rows of glass bottles have various colored liquids in them. They are all different shapes and sizes, ranging from simple two-inch vials to flamboyant multi-bubbled decanters. Some are topped with swirling glass corks while others have solid gold stoppers.
“They are beautiful.” Bella points across the lower row. “All those are healing potions. The cheapest one, a potion of curing, is five hundred gold coins.”
“Look on the top shelf,” I say. “What I wouldn’t give for that oil of overpoweris
m. Too bad it costs eight thousand gold. Damn.”
“There are better deals for this kind of thing elsewhere,” Slim says. “Soren charges extra for the fancy bottles and prime location. Come on.”
We move on, and he soon stops at a door with an oversized boot overhang, tapping on its square window. Inside various styles of footwear are displayed on several different sized wood chests. “This is The Mad Cobbler’s shop. He also repairs string instruments, is a jeweler, and dabbles in apothecary.” He turns the doorknob. “I hope he’s in.”
The four of us walk in, accompanied by the ring of a coil spring doorbell. The smell of leather and incense fill the air. Shelves along the shop’s interior are lined with shoes, boots, strips of leather, and buckles. The low-hanging ceiling has exposed wooden beams carved with fancy needle and hammer decorations.
“Giles!” Slim calls. He looks at himself in full-length tri-fold dressing mirror and straightens his collar. “I have a captain in need of Bombardment Boots. Are you in?”
“Good morning.” A short man with a thick tool-lined leather apron saunters around a stacked pyramid of old footwear. “I do have that style available. But it will cost lots of gold, Mr. Slim, even for your associates.”
“Huh.” Hans looks at me, reaches in his coat, and wraps a hand around his shillelagh. “Did he say lots of gold?” He leans over to my ear. “There are other ways of acquiring high-priced merchandise.”
“Let’s see how this plays out first.” I distance myself from him.
Slim picks up a stringed instrument with a deep round back and plops down on a plush chair. “Give us a look at the product then. We’ll be the judge if it’s worth a high price.”
Giles pulls a pair of scuffed black boots from a lower shelf and rests them on a wood box. “This is what I got. Price is two hundred gold. Firm.”
They’re way more stunning in person than in pixelated miniature form on my computer screen. Thick leather, hefty buckles, the promise of destruction. I could almost feel them on my feet already, empowering me.
Bella shrugs and picks a thin book from an upper shelf. “Two hundred is a steep price,” she murmurs, flipping through the pages.
Two hundred gold is actually a great deal for Bombardment Boots. I have paid over a thousand in the game before. Too bad I am one-hundred ninety-five gold coins short.
Giles doesn’t respond to Bella’s comment. He doesn’t look desperate to sell, so we likely won’t talk him down much, if at all. So, I step in.
“Two hundred, you say?” I dig in my pockets to bide time and feel something small and round. It’s a ring. The ring Mileena gave back to me by depositing it in the toilet. Have I had it all along? It must have been in my pocket when Mack and I went to The DCQ Den. Damn, that seems like eons ago. Slowly, I pull out the promise ring and hold it up, maintaining an air of confidence. “I should be able to outfit my whole party for the trade of this.”
“I’m not big on trades,” Giles says, but I can tell the ring has caught his eye.
I rotate the ring slightly, allowing the sun to catch its edge through the window.
“But, let me see.” He takes the ring, places it under his nose, and sniffs hard. “Where have you been storing this, a lavatorium? It smells abysmal.” He pinches his nose and holds the ring to an eye. “The gold seems to be of semi-decent quality. Let me run this by my appraiser.” He snaps his fingers.
An oversized golden grasshopper jumps from a rafter, to the pile of shoes, to a shelf, and then onto Giles’s palm. “Hello, Sir Thomas.”
Hans’s eyes widen, and he shoves past me to get a closer look. He bends down slightly and looks over the grasshopper. “It’s mechanical.”
“Partially.” Giles holds the ring near Sir Thomas’ antennae. “Several of them live up in the rafters of my shop. Some are trained killers, ready to aid me in the event of a robbery.” He lets that statement settle for a moment. Hans takes a step back from the grasshopper and peers upward in alarm.
Meanwhile, Giles listens closely to the gold insect’s clicks and chirps. “I understand, thank you, Sir Thomas.” Giles scowls at me. “What drossy merchandise are you trying to push off on me? You can’t trade this. It is soul-bonded to another.”
AN ITEM HAS BEEN IDENTIFIED: Your item ‘Ring’ has been revealed as ‘Gold Promise Ring’ (Soulbound to Mileena Tobias) by Giles Latumapic.
Promised items cannot be bought, sold, or traded by anyone but the person they are soulbound to. The person to whom the item is promised may release it to the holder, if asked, by answering with a verbal yes, or no. If released, the item can be sold, or traded by its holder.
So much for that. We were so close. I swallow hard. It’s a promise ring, and I didn’t keep my promise concerning it. It is cool that the game incorporates real world stuff like that. And it sucks big time. “But she returned it to me,” I whine at Giles, hoping for a loop hole.
“Apparently, not in a way that would release the soulbind,” he says, handing it back to me. He’s disappointed. If the ring had been mine, he would have bought it. For a lot.
“Who is it promised to?” Bella asks.
I don’t want to get into that. “Doesn’t matter—” A vibration comes from my hip, and I stiffen. “Wait a sec.” I open my Grimmoire and see a new message.
PLACE THE RING ON THE RED DOT TO PORT MILEENA TOBIAS INTO DCQ.
ONCE THE CHARACTER IS IN THE GAME, SHE CAN BE ASKED TO OFFICIALLY RELEASE THE PROMISED ITEM, AT WHICH POINT IT CAN BE SOLD OR TRADED.
●
What the—? The last person I want to see is Mileena. She broke up with me because of the game I’ve been sucked into for real. She hates DCQ. And me. I can’t even imagine how much that hate would increase if I summoned her into it now. And what does porting her in really mean? Would it be some kind of hologram or virtual Mileena that I could ask to release the ring, and then she’d poof back to reality? No, it says, “Once the character is in the game.” That sounds much more permanent. I can’t do this. And yet, I have to. I can’t use the ring to get the boots until I break its connection to Mileena. And I need those boots to save myself, Bella, and Hans, not to mention the game. Mileena will be mad, but she’ll get over it. I won’t get over being dead-for-real-dead. But if I pull Mileena in and I fail, would she die too? And once she gives over the ring, IF she gives over the ring, what then? Would she be trapped in DCQ? Would she be bound to our quest, or be able to stay somewhere safe and out-of-the-way until we save the world? Or it ends. Mileena doesn’t have an avatar or a Grimoir, so how would she even function in the game?
This is the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make in DCQ. There are real things at stake here. Real people.
I glance at Bella. She’s looking at me, eyes full of hope and curiosity. I’m starting to care about her. A lot. Bringing in Mileena may save us all, but what will Bella think of my ex? What will she think of me after Mileena starts bad-mouthing me?
“So, what is it?” Bella finally asks, nodding at my Grimoire. “Can we sell the ring or not?”
I have no choice, really. I’m the captain of this party, and I have to do what is best for all of us, even if it screws my chances with Bella.
I turn to Giles. “I can get the ring released,” I say. “Or at least I can try.”
“Really?” Giles smiles, the gold insect hopping onto his shoulder. “I’d like to see that.”
“Make it quick.” Hans says.
I hold the Grimoire flat in my palm and place the ring on the dot. I can’t believe what I am about to do.
Would you like to port Mileena Tobias into the world of Dungeon Crawl Quest? Yes/No?
I focus on the ‘Yes’.
My Grimoire vibrates.
I pick up the ring and see a new message.
WARNING!
THE INCOMING PARTY MEMBER DOES NOT HAVE A GRIMOIRE,
OR A DCQ CHARACTER SHEET.
THIS TEMPORARY CHARACTER WILL BE PORTED OUT OF THE GAME IN:
00:05:00
/> 00:04:59
00:04:58
I let out a huge pent-up breath. So, I’m not dooming Mileena to the fate of DCQ.
But, I also only have five minutes to explain where she is, why she’s here, and what I need her to do for me.
Mileena materializes in front of me and stumbles into a stack of crates. She is wearing a skimpy black and purplish-red leather outfit with an exposed midriff.
I help her to her feet. “Mileena, it’s me, Riff.” This is about to get really awkward.
“What happened? Where am I?” She turns, looking around the shop, and catches her reflection in the dressing mirror. “What am I wearing?” She runs a hand along the side of her hair and tightens her ponytail. “I mean, I look good in it.” She pushes her breasts up with both hands. “Really good.”
She’s not wrong. She looks great, but I force myself to focus on her character sheet.
ADD: Mileena Tobias, Assassin. (Error)
Assassin: Trained in the arts of stealing and sneaking. Can use any armor and weapon. Primary abilities: Agility, Evasion, Sneak attack, Cunning
AGE: 22
LEVEL: 0
ABILITIES: 0
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
00:04:13 minutes until port out.
Hmm, no level or abilities number, but an assassin though? That’s an elite class of thief. How did that happen? She doesn’t even like these games.
Mileena wraps a hand around my arm. “You’ve bulked up, Riff.” She lets go and spins around. “This looks like something from Harry Potter. What is this place?”