Into The Game- Dungeon Crawl Quest

by C A A Allen

This message again? I focus in on the prompt and get the transparent sheet.

  REORDER THE PARTY: Yes/No?

  Set the dungeon marching order of your party. Remember, only the first three members of a party can attack monsters with weapons. Note: Only NPCs are bound to follow marching order instructions. (* = NPC)

  Jareth Orcslauter, Fighter.

  HP: 24/40

  AC: 3

  LVL: 3

  *Salo Fatback, Fighter.

  HP: 21/50

  AC: 6

  LVL: 4

  *William T. Flukermayne III, Thief.

  HP: 16/40

  AC: 5

  LVL: 3

  *Biff Thunderpunch, Ninja.

  HP: 7/65

  AC: 7

  LVL: 4

  Madmartigan Galladoorn, Mage.

  HP: 25/40

  AC: 3

  LVL: 3

  Hans Talhoffer, Cleric.

  HP: 21/40

  AC: 2

  LVL: 3

  I focus on the ‘No’ and the sheet disappears. Questing through Ranida with an underpowered party is one thing. Entering Haworth with one could be a death sentence. Questing parties are only as good as their front three are. And if that’s true we’re in nothing but deep trouble. My armor class is a paltry three, and William has only sixteen hit points. That’s better than Biff’s meager seven, but I really need all my guys to be at full strength before we get into the goblin’s labyrinth.

  As we walk, I keep a close eye on the tree line. Last thing we need is to get surprised by wandering monsters of any level. After about twenty-minutes, we come to an area where the river twists through a jumbled patch of jagged rocks.

  Biff grabs his groin. “Wait.” He makes a sharp turn into the forest. “Needing to relieve myself.”

  Bella takes a few steps to the river’s edge, crouches, and dips in her water skin.

  Hans follows behind her and does the same. “Do NPCs really need to relieve themselves? It just seems stupid. This world is ridiculous sometimes.”

  Salo points ahead and up to the snowcapped North Mountains. “I have logged many a quest in those hills.”

  I stand next to Salo and gaze at the sight. “It’s surreal to see these mountains in real life—I mean in person.” I pull out my map and survey the road ahead. “We are making good progress. I’d say we are about an hour away from our destination.”

  William steps next to me and leans in. “Your map looks to show a true representation of the mountains.” He points to an upper area on the map. “See this spot right here. I once popped open a chest filled with—” He pinches his nose and coughs. “Ugh. Biff. Are you dropping a hellacious turd out there or what? You stink. Wait. That’s not the smell of poo. That’s—”

  A clammy hand wraps around my throat and a sharp object pushes into my back.

  “Anyone moves, and the captain here is going to collapse into a heap of dead,” snarls a guttural voice.

  Salo and William spin around and receive javelin tips to their chests. Two humanoids with crusty, wart-like skin lesions on their faces push their javelins forward slightly. They wear hide armor. I can’t tell what animal—or human—the hide was taken from.

  “Movement makes me unstable,” grumbles the attacker in front of Salo. “Be still, or I stab.”

  I can’t believe we’ve been surprised by—I don’t know what. Their faces don’t have the piggish characteristics of orcs, and there are no tusks. Otherwise, they look just like the orcs I’ve seen in DCQ–brownish green coloration, bristly black hair, stooped posture and all. Maybe this is some type of half-orc. Whatever they are, their odor is repulsive.

  Two more of the monsters have stepped up behind Bella and Hans. One rests the blade of his scimitar alongside Hans’s neck. He looks similar to the others, but has a shiny, spiked helmet. “Move and you’ll be-heading down river in two pieces.”

  An overweight slobbier version rumbles behind Bella and cocks back a bulky tapered hunk of wood with large iron spikes in its end. “Keep your hands in the water, or I’ll knock off your dome.”

  The helmeted beast presses the blade of his scimitar into Hans’ neck, nearly breaking the skin. “We got two Compass-Keepers down here, chief. Should we kill them now?”

  “No,” says the voice behind me, its musty breath wafting over my ear. “Setan needs slaves, and Compass-Keepers are worth triple.” He tightens his grip around my neck. “Hear me clear, captain. If you guide me to some treasure, I might forget I captured you.”

  If we didn’t have to retrieve the third piece of the Keris of Knaud, I’d let them take us straight to Setan. That would probably save us a lot of time and battles. But, we weren’t prepared to defeat the goblin yet.

  The fat brute standing over Bella runs a slobbery tongue across its upper lip. “I like this girl. I’m hungry.”

  “The tribe leader twists his blade into my back. “Too many deaths to haggish gonorrhea have depleted the warlords’ harem. Your girl will be a prized addition. Now, captain, spit it out before my tribe member Sazerac satisfies his bloodlust on your tender little girl. Where’s the treasure?”

  I gotta buy some time. “I have this.” I raise my hand with the map in it and twist my wrist. “This shows the way to a great horde of treasure. Only I know how to read it, though.”

  A chattering sound comes from behind, and then a brown rat with patchwork fur and scabs jumps across my shoulder to the ground in front of me, spins around, looks up, and hisses through seething incisors.

  “What do you think Splintleton?” The tribe leader snorts. “Is his map legitimate?”

  I arch my back to ease the sting of the sword. “Let my party go, and I–”

  The rat screeches and bolts into the forest.

  Thwack! The monster behind me falls to the ground with a thud. The boulder that smashed into his cranium rolls down to the river. I draw my sword, stick it into his back, and watch several more stones hurtle through the air. Biff is rapid fire slinging rocks. And he’s my new hero.

  The two monsters next to me get popped in their heads simultaneously by flying projectiles. One falls down, knocked out cold. The other takes several steps back, shakes his head, and wobbles from side to side.

  Salo whips out his mace, jumps on the unconscious beast, and bashes its head in.

  William draws his sword and bangs weapons with the dazed beast several times before managing a straight thrust through its heart. The monster slides off the sword, dead.

  DING! A rock hits the helmeted one, sending the helmet bobbing downstream and the beast tumbling down the river bank into the water. Hans raises his shillelagh and slams it down on the creature several times. He then lowers a boot on the thing’s neck, pinning its head underwater until it goes limp.

  The fat monster side-steps a flying stone and takes a whooshing swing at Bella’s head. She ducks but gets clipped in the shoulder and slips backward into the river with a splash.

  I rush her attacker with my sword raised. “Hey!”

  The brute turns and runs towards the forest.

  Oh, there is no way this fool is going to outrun me.

  A reddish-blue ball of haze whooshes past me and explodes across its back. The slob falls to the ground and rolls several times to a stop. I run up to the sizzling monster and hack my sword across its neck.

  Weird Humanoid (5) has been killed! For killing the monsters each survivor earned 200 experience points.

  Weird Humanoid? So, we were fighting an unidentified monster. I thought I’d fought everything DCQ had to offer. It’s been forever since I’ve encountered anything new.

  You were hit for 2 damage. Status: 22/40

  Hans wipes his hands together and blows white smoke from his palms. “I’m really good at this magic thing. Did you see the way I lit that dummkopf up?”

  “Bella’s hurt.” I run past Hans and wave. “Come on.”

  Salo helps Bella out of the water and sits her on a large flat rock.

  She covers her e
yes with both hands and doubles over. “Aaaah.” Blood and river water drip from her shoulder. “It’s dislocated,” she moans. “And it hurts like the devil. I’m down seventeen hit points from that one blow.”

  Biff holsters his sling and picks up the chief’s sword. It has a solid black handle and a blade with a semi-circle cut out in its lower section. “Good thing for us my sling aim is as good as ever. I don’t know how the fat one managed to duck me.” He hands me the sword and sits next to Bella. “Sorry I couldn’t get him before he got you.”

  Hans wraps his hands around Bella’s shoulder. “Let me come to the rescue, once again. Medicor summus seco.”

  “You mean, ‘Let me come to the rescue like I should have on our last ques—aggh!” Bella cries as her shoulder flashes white hot, then returns to normal.

  I rub my neck and sit next to Bella. “Did that work? How is it?”

  She drops her hands and rolls her shoulder backward, then forward. “Wow, it feels a lot better. Thank you for doing that, Hans. This time.”

  He looks over his palms. “That spell should bring back ten to fifteen of your hit points. But I am running through way too much of my spell power on minor objectives, Riff. I hope I have something left in the tank for the big boy at the end. I am down to just four level one spells. You all need to help me level up.”

  “That’s the plan, Hans. We all need to level up. This battle helped.” But we were running out of time. I stand and swing the chief’s sword from side to side. “Nice balance. I don’t know about this strange notch in the blade though.”

  William drops five small worn leather sacks on the rock. “What you have there is an executioner’s sword. The wielder can use the circle to decapitate an opponent with ease. It is surely a lot better than your current weapon.” He rips open the sacks and spreads the contents on the rock. “Seven gold coins and eight pennies from the foulest Evon clan. I hate them.”

  “You know what those freaks were?” I ask.

  William looks at me slack jawed. “Do you Compass-Keepers know anything? Evons are Setan’s personal guard. Word is they come from the expansion world. I hate them and their little rat companions.”

  “That rat was a companion of theirs?” I ask.” I think the chief called it Splintleton.”

  “And you let it get away.” Williams says aggravated. “The little snitch is sure to lead reinforcements our direction.”

  A MONSTER HAS BEEN IDENTIFIED: The monster ‘Weird Humanoid’ has been revealed as an ‘Evon’ by William Thomas Flukermayne III.

  This monster is now known to you and your party.

  EVON

  LEVEL: 1 (240XP)

  HIT POINTS: 10

  ARMOR CLASS: 12 (Hide armor)

  FREQUENCY: Rare

  NO. APPEARING: 2-30

  DAMAGE: By weapon type

  SPECIAL ATTACKS: Aggressive

  SPECIAL DEFENSES: Speak with rodents

  INTELLIGENCE: Average

  ALIGNMENT: Evil

  SIZE: M

  TYPICAL WEAPONING: Club, Dagger, Javelin, Scimitar, Shield

  DESCRIPTION: Evon are foul smelling humanoids with crusty, wart-like lesions on their face, brownish green colored skin, bristly black hair, and a stooped posture. They keep rats as pets and can communicate simple concepts with them and some other rodents.

  Evons? I had never heard of them before. If they have anything to do with Setan that’s good, though. It means we are getting closer to our objective.

  Salo drops a dagger, a scimitar, two javelins, and a small round shield on the ground in front of the rock. Then, he flings the fat Evon’s club into the middle of the river. “These weapons are workable. They had nothing else of value.”

  Time for some upgrades. I toss my sword and feasting knife into the pile and sheath the executioner’s blade and dagger.

  NEW PRIMARY WEAPON: Executioner’s Sword

  Damage: 3-10.

  Range: N/A.

  Frequency: Uncommon.

  Quality: Average

  Melee Weapon Attack: Slashing damage.

  ADD POSSESSION: Dagger

  Damage: 1-3.

  Range: 40 ft.

  Frequency: Common.

  Quality: Average

  Melee or Ranged Weapon Attack: Piercing damage.

  Now, this is more like it. Up to ten hit points of damage for a primary weapon is much more to my liking. Nothing special about the dagger, but it’s better than the feasting knife. I grab the shield, strap it to my arm, and take a hard step forward. I move it up, down, and thrust it forward. “This will work.” I strap it to my back.

  ADD POSSESSION: Small Shield

  Damage: 1-2.

  Range: N/A.

  Frequency: Common.

  Quality: Average.

  Shield Bash: Melee Weapon Attack: Bludgeoning damage.

  YOUR ARMOR CLASS HAS BEEN INCREASED! Armor Class increased to 4/20.

  A boost in armor class! That’s what I’m talking about. Only one more point, but all good.

  Bella looks at the pile. “None of this stuff will do anything for me.”

  “No surprise there.” Hans kicks one of the javelins and turns his head. “These scrub monsters never have anything a magic user can equip with. We need to encounter some higher-level monsters.”

  Salo secures the javelins and sword to his pack and points to the pile. “WTF, you grab the rest.”

  I scoop up the coins, drop them into my bag and pull the drawstrings tight. “Well, this fighter is happy. First a weapons upgrade, and now things are looking up on the monetary side.”

  ADD: 7 gold coins to Jareth Goblinmasher. New gold coin balance: 7

  ADD: 8 silver pennies to Jareth Goblinmasher. New silver penny balance: 21

  Bella lifts a hand toward me from her seat on the rock. “That monster said he wanted to take us to Setan, and that Compass-Keepers are worth extra gold. How does Setan know about Compass-Keepers?”

  I take Bella’s hand and help her stand. “Could it be that Compass-Keeper wizard from Chittor that Slim spoke of? Maybe the wizard fought Setan at some point. Maybe Setan is scared of him.”

  “Or he got killed by Setan,” Hans theorizes.

  Bella strides down the road. “Wizards don’t die so easy. We’re wasting time. Let’s go.”

  After walking for another ten minutes, the valley begins to widen. We follow along the right tree-line for fifteen more minutes and finally stop where a narrow dirt path cuts to the right between lush trees.

  I look up and to either side of the opening. “This has got to be it.”

  We follow the path for about five minutes, until a low single-story compound with a dark square tunnel entryway reveals itself amidst the overgrown trees. I take a look at my map. “Map point number two is located in the center of that building.”

  “I know this death trap.” The corners of Biff’s mouth dive into a deep frown. “This is the Bonnacon’s Lair.”

  CHAPTER 14

  11:40:15 hours until DCQ server shut down.

  “The what’s lair?” I haven’t heard of Bonnacon before. “What do we need to know, Biff?”

  A wrinkle-faced man with a long gray beard hobbles out of the building’s tunnel. He spreads his white cloak, sits on a stump in front of the entryway, and lowers his head.

  Biff looks at the wrinkle-faced man and waves. “Hello.”

  The man stands and motions for us to come forward.

  Biff turns to me and lowers his voice. “Bonnacons have the shaggy mane of a horse, but in all other respects resemble a powerfully built, yet stubby bison. Their hides are as tough as plate mail armor, plus three, and they have colossal curved horns. The big draw is they all have barrel collars around their necks with different treasures inside. You will need to find the Bonnacon with the item you seek in the barrel around its neck. The challenge here is that they don’t give up the barrel easily. As far as dangers go, the Bonnacons’s inward-curving horns are no good for butting or goring. They have develop
ed a secondary means of defense…”

  A MONSTER HAS BEEN IDENTIFIED: The monster ‘Bonnacon’ has been revealed to you by Biff Thunderpunch.

  This monster is now known to you and your party.

  1

  BONNACON

  LEVEL: 3 (3000XP)

  HIT POINTS: 40

  ARMOR CLASS: 14 (Natural armor)

  FREQUENCY: Very Rare

  NO. APPEARING: 1

  DAMAGE: 1-12

  SPECIAL ATTACKS: Charge, Excrements

  SPECIAL DEFENSES:

  INTELLIGENCE: Simi

  ALIGNMENT: Neutral

  SIZE: L

  TYPICAL WEAPONING:

  DESCRIPTION: Bonnacons are giant bull-like creatures with the shaggy reddish mane of a horse. They have horns that curl in toward each other and have a hide so hard it repels spears.

  The wrinkle-faced man squints and looks us over. “Who seeks what here?”

  Go time. “I am Jareth Goblinmasher. I seek the sheath belonging to the Keris of Knaud.”

  The man bends over, holds his chest, and cackles. “You are brave to seek that item.”

  I step forward and wait for him to recover from his laugh. Why is this so funny? Is he ever going to come up for air? I wait a few more moments and can’t take it anymore. “The sheath belonging to the Keris of Knaud. That is what I am here for. Can you help me?”

  The man steps backward and sits back down on his stump. “I will release the Bonnacon called Paeonia into the labyrinth. He indeed has what you seek.”

  Labyrinth? Neither Biff nor the map said anything about a labyrinth. Was it inside the building? Beneath it?

  The old man pulls a small wooden hourglass with black sand from under his cloak. “When the powder runs out, this entrance will seal, and a clarifying flush will commence.” He gestures to the building entrance.

  Looks like I’d be going underground.