Xavier's Desire

by Meg Ripley

  Burt and the other bull fighters jumped into action. The bull was losing steam as he lost blood, and the men were able to herd him towards the open gate. EMTs raced into the arena as soon as they were given the all-clear, and the sheriff’s deputies were hot on their heels. Dean saw them approach but didn’t realize what they intended to do until it was too late: the three deputies fired at the same time, shooting tranq darts into his thigh, side, and neck.

  Dean roared once and everything went black.

  ****

  Marisol couldn’t stop shaking. Her fingers trembled so badly, she couldn’t hold the cup of coffee her mother had thrust into her hand. Her legs couldn’t support her weight, and her head ached from the force of clenching her jaw.

  But she didn’t cry. Not a single tear.

  In fact, her face felt entirely drained of moisture. Her lips were chapped, her skin was tight, and her eyes felt like they were full of sand. She had no idea how long she sat in the ER lobby, joining her mother’s nearly silent but constant prayers.

  The night had gone from a dream come true to a nightmare in the space of a heartbeat. She’d been clapping and cheering with everybody else when the bull caught her father by his horn and flipped him into the air. Mari’s cheer had turned into a scream and she began crawling up the six-foot-high fence, all thoughts of safety forgotten. She didn’t know exactly what her plan was, only that she needed to get to her father before the bull did. The only thing that stopped her from scaling the fence and bolting into the arena was the sight of Dean transforming from the man she knew into a beast greater than anything she’d ever witnessed.

  She still couldn’t believe he had shifted in front of the grandstands. In front of the judges. In front of everybody. He knew—better than anybody—the consequences of exposure, and yet he hadn’t hesitated. He’d acted immediately and he saved her dad’s life. How could she ever thank him? How could she ever repay him for the sacrifice he made?

  Ernesto was in surgery all night. The bull’s horn had grazed his spleen, but the surgeon was able to repair the damage and had assured Anna that he was stable and resting. “You will probably be able to visit tomorrow afternoon,” the surgeon had said before encouraging Anna and Mari to go home and get some sleep. But they had an unspoken agreement to stay right where they were.

  Mari knew her mother would never leave his side, and she herself wouldn’t dream of going home. Not until there was word on Dean. The tranquilizers had knocked him out, but it was the vicious hole in his side that kept him bedridden and unconscious.

  “You should go get some rest,” Anna said when Marisol tried, and failed, to drink her coffee. She set the cup down on the end table and clutched her fingers in her lap, doing her best to disguise the endless shaking.

  “I’ll stay here.”

  “Mari, you’re exhausted.”

  She shook her head. “I’m fine.”

  “You heard the doctor. Your father is in stable condition and he would want you to take care of yourself.”

  Mari shook her head again. She would not leave the hospital.

  “If you’re staying because of that bull rider—”

  “ ‘That bull rider’? Would you listen to yourself? His name is Dean, Mother, and in case you’ve forgotten, he saved Daddy’s life.”

  “I haven’t forgotten. I also haven’t forgotten that he’s a bear.”

  “So am I!” Mari exclaimed.

  “Shh, lower your voice.”

  “Nobody’s paying any attention to us, Mama. If you don’t want to talk about it, then we don’t have to. But don’t try to act like he’s some...something evil.”

  “It frightens me,” Anna said softly. “It frightens me to think of you falling in love with a bull rider. It frightens me to think about what your life will be like with a bear. It frightens me to think about your life as a bear.”

  “Well, it scares me, too, Mama. But fighting isn’t going to help us. We need to stick together. We need to be a family.” She took her mother’s hand, noticing for the first time how the skin on the back was loose and beginning to wrinkle.

  “Your father was a bull rider. Did you know that?”

  “What? No one ever told me that! I thought he was always just a bull fighter…”

  “He just got his pro card when we started dating. I thought he was so handsome and so brave. I’d seen a lot of other cowboys, but I never saw anything like him. I was...enchanted. Sound familiar?”

  “Yes, but I don’t understand. You love Daddy. You’ve always been happy with him. Why would you want to keep me away from Dean?”

  “Because the very first rodeo after he turned pro, a bull by the name of Strawberry Wine threw your Daddy about twenty feet. When he landed, he hit his head and he spent a week in the hospital, unconscious.” Anna shook her head. “It was the longest week of my life. The doctors couldn’t say if he’d even wake up again, much less the state he’d be in. They warned me he might not even know who I am. That same week, I discovered I was pregnant with you. I don’t ever want you to go through what I went through.” She waved her head, gesturing at the hospital lobby. “You shouldn’t ever know what this...this feeling is like.”

  “I know, Mama, but you can’t protect me from...from pain or from fear or unhappiness. That’s just life.”

  “Marisol?”

  “Yes?” She swung her head around, surprised to see Waldo coming towards her. “Oh, is Dean awake?”

  “Yes, and he’s asking for you.” Waldo smiled at Anna and tipped his hat. “Ma’am. How’s Ernie?”

  “The doctors said he will make a full recovery,” Anna said, her voice a little stiff. She closed her fingers around Mari’s hand, squeezing it tightly.

  “Mama, I’ve got to go,” Mari said gently.

  Anna nodded and released her. “I’ll be here,” she said, with a small, watery smile.

  Mari fell into step beside Waldo. “How is he? Is he going to be okay?”

  “He should make a full recovery. Whether or not he’ll be okay?” Waldo shrugged. “That’s tougher to say.”

  “Why? What do you mean?”

  “You’ll see.”

  Dean was on the same floor of the hospital as Ernie, and they reached his door before she had fully prepared herself mentally or emotionally. He was sitting up in bed, his ribs and stomach wrapped in a tight bandage. He had a bruise on his cheek and his eye was swollen, but besides that, he seemed unscathed. He smiled as she stepped into the room, and though he’d smiled at her countless times before, this one set her heart into a gallop.

  “I think somebody owes me a kiss.”

  “I owe you more than that.”

  He held out his hand. She took it and he pulled her to him with surprising strength. He used his other hand to hold the back of her head, guiding her mouth to his before she could even take a breath. As soon as their lips touched, the knots in her stomach began to untwist themselves and the fear and stress she’d been carrying melted away. He was fine. He was safe. He was holding her and kissing her and everything would be okay.

  Waldo coughed an ‘I’m-still-standing-here’ cough, and Dean smiled against her lips. “I’m so happy to see you.”

  “Not as happy as I am to see you. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

  “You don’t need to thank me, Mari. It was the right thing to do.”

  Waldo snorted. “Are you kidding me?”

  “Shut up, Waldo.”

  “You ruined your career.”

  Mari pulled back. “What are you talking about? Dean, what is he talking about?”

  “Well, I had the best ride of the night and I won the event. But the rep from the PRA has already been by to tell me they’ll give me my purse, but I won’t be welcome at any future events.”

  “What? They can’t do that!”

  Dean shrugged. “Sure, they can. Their rules, not mine.”

  “But that’s not fair! What do they think you’re going to do? Go on a rampage and eat the hor
ses?”

  “He did mention the safety of the animals. And the spectators.”

  “Yeah, it’s not fair, but also the least of his worries. The sheriff has been by, too,” Waldo said.

  “The sheriff? What did he want?” Mari knew what he wanted, and her heart sank to the bottom of her shoes. “He blames you, doesn’t he? He thinks you killed those people.”

  “He wants to have a chat about it after they release me.”

  “A chat! They’re going to take you into custody,” Waldo said hotly. “And knowing these backwoods jackasses, they’ll probably have you tried, convicted, and hung by dinner time.”

  Mari shook her head. “No. No, I’m not going to let that happen. You’re innocent and that’s what you’re going to tell the sheriff.”

  “Mari—”

  “Either you tell him the truth, or I will.”

  “No, you won’t. You need to let me handle this.”

  “So, because you saved my dad’s life, you get to lose your career and go to jail? No. Fuck that.”

  “Well, what do you think you can do about it?” Waldo asked.

  “I’ll tell the sheriff the truth! If they want to arrest somebody, they can arrest me.”

  “No,” Dean said flatly. “You will not tell the sheriff anything.”

  “I have to.”

  “No, you don’t. It’s not your job to save me and you’re not going to trade your life for mine. Besides, you don’t even know if you’re the guilty party.”

  “I know you’re not the guilty party.”

  “Does anybody want to tell me what’s going on here?” Waldo asked.

  “No. And you need to get moving anyway. Ralph probably has the trailer loaded and ready to roll.”

  “Where are you going? Are you leaving him here?” Mari asked.

  “They’re professional team ropers now,” Dean said with unmistakable pride. “And they need to be in Cheyenne by tomorrow night.”

  “We can stay here another night and be there in plenty of time.”

  “I taught you better than that. Stop wasting time. You know what you’ve got to do.”

  Waldo didn’t look happy about it but he nodded, tipped his hat to Marisol, and slipped out the door.

  “That’s it?” Mari asked. “That’s how you guys say goodbye?”

  “We don’t talk much in our family. How’s your dad?”

  “The doctor said he’ll make a full recovery, and he has you to thank for that. Maybe if I talked to the PRA rep, we can get this cleared up.”

  “Cleared up? There’s nothing to clear up, Mari. There’s no mistaking what happened out there. I’m just glad that Ernie will be okay.” He patted the bed beside him. “There’s not much room here, but I think it’ll be enough.”

  “Enough for what?”

  “I just want to hold you.”

  Marisol couldn’t resist an invitation like that. She didn’t want to, either. She crawled into the bed with him, careful to avoid the side where the bull gored him. She ended up mostly lying on top of him, but he didn’t seem to mind as he wrapped his arm around her soft waist and pulled her even closer.

  He pressed his lips to the top of her head and asked, “Have you gotten any sleep since last night?”

  “No.”

  “Go ahead and rest your eyes.”

  “I’ll fall asleep.”

  “That’s fine with me. I might fall asleep, too.”

  “Are you comfortable?”

  “Never been more comfortable in my life.”

  “I love you.” Marisol hadn’t planned to say that. She didn’t even know she could say it, until it slipped out all on its own. But once she did, she realized she could never take it back because it was only the God’s honest truth. She loved this man, this cowboy, this bear who saved her father’s life and who seemed bound and determined to sacrifice himself for Mari, too. She loved him completely, with no reservations, and she would continue to love him no matter what happened.

  He didn’t answer. When she lifted her head, she saw his eyes were closed, his lips parted to allow his soft snores. She settled her head on his shoulder with a low sigh, glad she said it, and almost just as glad that he didn’t hear it.

  ****

  The spectacle between Dean Longstrider and Red Bantam was the main topic of conversation for only one day before the story shifted. While Dean and Marisol slumbered, there had been another bear attack. As Dean had an airtight alibi and the Longstrider twins were well out of town before the attack, Sheriff Walker redirected his investigation. He still didn’t trust Dean, but he was more interested in bringing in the wild bear attacking tourists than harassing a man that most were calling a hero. They set traps and called in Fish and Game to handle the situation.

  Despite Marisol’s relief that Dean’s theory was correct and that there was another bear in town guilty of the deaths, a black cloud hung overhead every time she came to visit Dean. He understood, but he didn’t know how to tell her that she didn’t need to feel guilty or upset on his behalf. He was a man who made his own decisions. He had no regrets, and that’s what he told Ernie when the man stopped by his hospital room a week after the rodeo.

  “I hear they’re discharging you today,” Ernie said.

  “Yeah, that’s what they tell me.”

  “Where will you go?”

  “The Cody Motel, most likely. Least until I get a car or figure something out.”

  “Why don’t you come stay with us?” Ernie asked.

  “I...I couldn’t impose.”

  “It’s not an imposition. You saved my life. It’s the least I can do.”

  “Thank you, sir, I appreciate the offer, but I can’t do that.”

  “Why not?”

  He took a deep breath and paused. “Because I’m in love with your daughter, sir. I know that you and Mrs. Vargas don’t approve of me, and I respect that, but I don’t want to cause any tension or strife in your family.”

  “Does she feel the same way about you?”

  “Yes, sir, I believe she does.”

  “Well my offer stands. Mari’s my little girl. She always has my approval and I trust her judgement.” Ernie held out his hand, offering a permanent truce between them. Dean gripped it with a smile.

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “Mari doesn’t know, but they’re discharging me this afternoon, too. We’ll surprise her together.”

  And surprise her they did. She ran out of the house to meet them in the yard, first throwing her arms around her father’s neck, and then pulling Dean into an exuberant embrace. Her smile was as bright as the sun, her eyes twin flecks of glorious amber. Once Dean had her in his arms, it was difficult to let her go. He had a lot of time to think while he was laid up in the hospital, and he spent all that time thinking about her.

  Once Anna commandeered Ernie’s time and attention in the house, Mari took Dean’s hand and tugged him away from the front porch. “Come on. I have something I want to show you.”

  “Right now?”

  “Yes. I’ve been dying to tell you about it for the past two days.”

  “Lead the way.”

  They walked hand in hand until they reached the far corner of the park and were suitably shaded from sight by the trees. She released his hand and began to undress.

  “Hold up, now. What are you doing?”

  “I’m showing you what I can do,” Marisol answered with a grin. She tossed her shirt aside and kicked her shorts off, giving Dean a totally unobstructed view of her naked body. He’d always known that she was luscious, but the sight of her made his knees weak and his heart rate triple. He barely had a chance to take in her full radiance before her delectable form disappeared, replaced by the far more intimidating body of a grizzly bear.

  Dean gaped at her, stunned and still, strangely enough, turned on. Her lips pulled back, exposing a row of long, deadly teeth, and when she stood up on her hind legs, she was well over six feet tall. She dropped to all fours and closed the dis
tance between them, pushing her muzzle against his chest. He smiled and stroked her head, running his fingers through her long, lustrous fur. She nuzzled closer to him, deep growls of contentment vibrating from her chest.

  “Can you shift at will?” he asked.

  The question was barely out of his mouth before the bear disappeared and the girl was in his arms once again. “I’ve been practicing for the past week. Every day and every night. What do you think?”

  “You’re amazing—that’s what I think. You’re amazing and I have to kiss you.”

  “Oh, please do.”

  Dean didn’t need to be asked a second time. While he was in the hospital, he didn’t let himself linger over the memory of her soft, inviting lips, but he couldn’t do anything about his dreams. The few kisses they had exchanged fueled a thousand dreams—but the fantasy was nothing like the reality. The taste of her, the feel of her, the heat and pressure and solid reality of her made him ache and rejoice at the same time. The way she held the back of his neck, her nails pressing into his skin with the force of her hunger, only made him want her more. Within seconds, his hunger was whipped into a passionate frenzy.

  His hands roamed freely over her naked body, learning every inch of her sweet curves. Her skin was flushed, her body warmed with passion and by the sun. She smelled so good. Dean’s nose was always sensitive, but her scent was overwhelming as it imprinted on him. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he broke away from her mouth and continued his exploration with his lips, kissing her jaw, her throat, her neck, her ear. She dropped her head back, fingers clutching at his shoulders as he continued traveling down her body. When he reached the twin globes of her ample breasts, he dropped to his knees and buried his face between the mounds, pausing for a moment to truly enjoy the beautiful bounty at his fingertips.

  “Please don’t stop,” Mari whispered, running her fingers through his hair.

  There was no chance of stopping. He was all out of willpower and all out of excuses. There was nothing in the world he wanted the way he wanted her, and it seemed like that had been true for his entire life. He couldn’t get enough of her taste, of the silky texture of her skin, or the way she moaned his name. He cupped one breast while he licked and kissed and suckled and nibbled the other, his dick getting harder with each second that passed.