A Year of Second Chances

by kendra Smith

  ‘Dawn!’

  Suzie was standing behind her, glaring at her in the mirror. She froze.

  ‘How dare you, Dawn!’

  ‘Look, Suzie, it wasn’t what you think—’

  ‘No? Well that’s not what my husband has just said, upstairs. I know he’s drunk, but he just said that you are an “amazing woman, one who has conquered spinning classes”, for Christ’s sake, of all things. You’re loving, so approachable, blah, blah, blah, something about fucking ice cream… You’ve been a great friend to him – some great friend to me, eh? I have known you since university. You are one of my oldest friends.’ She practically spat the last bit out.

  Dawn could barely make the rest out. She felt a warm glow as she replayed Suzie’s words: loving, approachable, great friend… Suzie was still in full flow: ‘He said that – what was it? That you “listen properly to him” and how I “just shut him out because of Jacob”. Jesus, how could you? My best friend!’ she screamed.

  Something snapped. ‘And don’t you think you might have something to do with it all, Suzie?’ Gosh, what had come over her? She must still be a bit drunk, Dawn realised.

  ‘Me? What do you mean, me? You’re the one who had your hand up his shirt!’

  ‘Haven’t you ever thought for one minute that all your neuroses with Jacob, first the surrogacy, then the new-baby stress might have contributed to the problem? Haven’t you realised what you’ve done? I did talk to him, I did try to say that you needed time with a new baby, Suzie, I really did, but you’ve pushed him away.’

  ‘And you’ve been more than happy to catch him, haven’t you?’ Suzie leant in. ‘Nice little birthday present for yourself, was it?’ She then turned and stormed out the ladies’.

  Dawn ran her hands under more cold water. She could feel tears rising up. Quite a shock this had turned out to be. Good God, she had never spoken to anyone like that before. She had to go and find Eric.

  First things first. She headed for the bar. ‘Oh, the birthday girl!’ The barman beamed, handing her a cocktail. She quickly knocked it back as he grinned at her. ‘Good birthday surprise?’

  She couldn’t speak. What on earth was in that drink? It felt like liquid fire down her throat. She’d better phone Suzie tomorrow when they’d both calmed down.

  Looking up at the dance floor she could make out a few of her friends, mates from school, the guys from Eric’s work, but where was Eric? And who was that in the distance, in a red mask? He looked familiar. These masks were a pest. Well, whoever it was, was a very attractive chap. He oozed sex appeal. What on earth was wrong with her? He almost looked like Tyler, but it couldn’t be, could it? She peered through the darkness again.

  ‘Dawn!’ She spun round. One of Eric’s work colleagues grabbed her by the elbow and leant in for a kiss. She could smell booze on his breath. ‘Happy birthday, old girl, geddit? Old! You look amazing.’

  ‘Thanks,’ she managed, shakily. Oh dear, she felt a bit woozy and her attention was disturbed by a sound over by the bar – people were laughing. Turning to look, she couldn’t help staring at this slightly mad-looking woman who was doing a kind of cha-cha on the dance floor with Ramone. Who is that?

  She watched the woman in the dimly lit room move towards the bar with Ramone; that didn’t look like a friend of Ramone’s. She was too old. After the song finished, they both moved to the back of the ballroom. Dawn wandered over to take a closer look.

  There were snorts of laughter as Dawn approached. Ramone was leaning with one hand on the wall. The woman had her back to Dawn, swaying back and forth on her heels. Then she realised.

  ‘Is that you, Joyce?’

  ‘Oh, darling, there you are!’ She spun around. ‘Eric’s been wondering where you were!’ As Joyce turned to face her, all Dawn could see was a mass of pink feathers covering her mask. She looked like a startled turkey covered in glitter.

  ‘And where the hell is he?’

  ‘Ooh! Dawn-y! Why so angry? Ah. Just wait and see.’ Then she burst into a fit of giggles and held on to Dawn’s arm, while stuffing something into her mouth.

  ‘Ramone! What has happened to my mother-in–law?!’

  ‘Ah, Meeses Dawn, eets no problem, eets Spain best!’ he said spluttering with laughter. She could just make out those dark eyes twinkling under his ridiculous rhinestone mask.

  Dawn leant in closer and took a chocolate brownie from between Joyce’s fingers and sniffed it.

  ‘What are you doing, Joyce? Are you drunk? Ramone, what’s going on? Did you make these?’

  ‘Ah yes, I do. I make it with special spices, sí, Señora?’ He nudged Dawn in the ribs.

  ‘Oh yes.’ Joyce giggled. ‘Ramone here said he had a surprise for me, very good for arthritis apparently!’

  ‘What sort of surprise, Ramone? The only special thing you normally put in these is mayonnaise – Suzie told me.’

  ‘I’ve been a very naughty Nanna!’ Joyce suddenly squealed and then burst out giggling again. ‘And I’ve lost my phone!’

  ‘Ze brownies, zay have, how you say, a little marjoram in them!’ He giggled.

  ‘Marjoram, Ramone?’ What on earth was he talking about?

  ‘No, no eets, how you say, marijuana!’

  Realisation suddenly hit Dawn like a thunderbolt. Oh, sweet Jesus. My mother-in-law is off her trolley on marijuana: on hash brownies.

  Then Joyce swayed slightly to the left as she waggled a pointed finger at Dawn. ‘And Eric’s got quite a surprise for you!’

  I know he has – wait till I get home and confront him.

  *

  Dawn ordered Ramone to go and get Joyce some water, then she managed to get Joyce to sit down in a nearby chair while she promised that she’d look for her phone – but that was going to be pretty hard as it was almost pitch black in there. Just then, Charlie appeared on her left.

  ‘There you are!’ she breathily said to Dawn. ‘Hey, what’s up with Suzie? I saw her run down the corridor. She didn’t stop. She looked awful.’ Charlie looked at her. ‘You OK?’ asked Charlie.

  Dawn let her head nod while she rummaged around at a table looking for Joyce’s phone. Her brain whizzed round and she wanted to shout ‘No!’ Then suddenly Dawn looked up again at Charlie and saw her with new eyes. She stood back. Charlie looked incredible. She had never seen Charlie look like that. To be fair, most of the time she’d been with Charlie she’d been pregnant, or in her sweaty workout gear at the gym, but tonight, she looked – she searched for the word – radiant.

  ‘Should I go and speak to Suzie?’ Charlie touched her arm.

  ‘Thank you but I don’t think so. I’ve just had the most terrible row with her. Thank God you’re here.’

  ‘Why, what about?’

  ‘Well, it was about Rex.’ She frowned. ‘She got the wrong impression and now she’s stormed off.’

  Charlie’s eyes narrowed beneath the mask. ‘Dawn?’

  ‘Yes, Charlie, she did! Look, OK, well, maybe I’ve been a bit flattered by his interest in me – I don’t know. He was drunk. I’m a bit drunk, frankly, and Suzie has been so wrapped up with the baby…’

  ‘But that’s not an excuse, is it?’ whispered Charlie, then suddenly seemed to think better of it. ‘Look, let’s talk about this later – it’s your party after all.’ Charlie touched her on the arm. ‘Hey, is Joyce all right, by the way? I just saw her make a pass at a waiter, over there, by the bar. What is wrong with everyone tonight?’

  ‘Oh dear, no!’ Dawn suddenly remembered Joyce. ‘Ramone has given her chocolate brownies with marijuana in them!’

  ‘You’re kidding?’

  ‘Dear Lord, Charlie, whatever next? Could tonight get any worse?’ But Charlie wasn’t listening. She was looking intently across to the other side of the room as Dawn followed her gaze.

  ‘Yes, tonight seems to be full of surprises…’ noted Dawn. And with that, the room went completely quiet.

  Someone was tapping on a wine glass, saying ‘attention’. Dawn looked
around, her brow furrowed. She desperately needed to tell Eric about his mother. She wondered what all the fuss was about. Was it the police? Oh heavens. Please no. A thought suddenly hit her.

  ‘Can everyone please assemble by the dance floor? Thank you.’

  What’s going on? Not a speech, no. Not when I’m sure my husband is having an affair, when I’ve nearly crossed the line myself upstairs, when my jaw is aching from smiling – and when I’ve had far too much to drink. I do not want to give a speech!

  There was a hush across the room, as some music started up, loud crazy rhythmic salsa music, just like the Strictly soundtrack, and with it, from the corner of the dance floor appeared a dark-haired woman wearing a skin-tight emerald-green top, tied in a knot at the waist, showing off a golden, taut midriff, and a beautiful peacock blue skirt, long at the back but cut short at the front revealing slender, tanned legs. She was beaming a dazzling white smile.

  And next to her was Eric. Eric. Her husband. Her Eric with a bad back. The one who hated dancing. She couldn’t believe it. Smiling, tanned, (when had he got a tan?) he looked so handsome in dark blue trousers with an emerald-green glittery shirt to match his partner. Eric! In an open-necked shirt!

  Dawn watched transfixed as Eric and his partner, sashayed right, then mamboed left; he twisted her around and she high-kicked her legs between his. She flicked her long dark hair and twisted to the left, then he led her to the right. Eric swayed his hips, and powerfully led his lady to the left, then the right, in time to the music, wiggling his hips whilst the crowd screamed.

  Dawn found herself clapping in time to the music as a huge grin spread across her face. Charlie squeezed her arm and smiled. She watched her husband, her darling Eric, move like she’d never seen him before, masterfully leading the woman across the dance floor, the rhythmic music pulsating in time to her heart; she wanted to be that woman, she wanted to dance – shimmy with her husband, who, by now was gleaming with sweat in the grand finale, holding his partner up in the air with both hands.

  But was looking straight at Dawn the whole time.

  Once he had put his partner down, he took the mic from a nearby waiter and spoke into it. ‘This lovely lady,’ he said nodding to his partner, ‘has been teaching me all the moves every Friday night! – but this,’ he said opening his arms wide and looking straight at Dawn, ‘even lovelier lady, well, it has all been for you! Happy birthday, Dawn, my darling! Up you come!’ The audience roared with applause and cheered her onto the dance floor. She made her way shakily over to Eric and held on to him tightly as he kissed her on the forehead.

  ‘Thank you,’ she whispered, as the realisation about all the Friday night absences became clear.

  Once the applause had died down, people either resumed their spots at the bar or started to shimmy on the dance floor. She noticed someone waving at her in the distance. Who was it? She looked around for Suzie. She desperately wanted to talk to her, say sorry now and not leave it till tomorrow, but she couldn’t see her.

  ‘Dawn, didn’t know your husband could dance ballroom so well!’

  ‘No, neither did I.’ She giggled, turning around to look at who the voice belonged to. The lights were so bright as they’d just been turned on for the ‘disco’ on the dance floor. She was blinded by the flashing strobe lights. She could hardly see and hear with the thumping music. Now, that made her feel old!

  ‘I said, do you like the new look?’ Dawn stood back, tried to focus again on the man.

  ‘Daniel!’ she gasped. He’d taken off his mask and looked stunning. You could hardly recognise him. He had been that sexy guy she’d seen earlier. But where was the beard?

  Just then, Dawn glanced over at the bar to see Charlie and Tyler side by side; he was grinning and holding up a drink for his mum.

  She glanced at Daniel again – and when she did, she almost fainted. It couldn’t be, could it?

  78

  Charlie

  I steady myself at the bar with one hand and clutch my drink with the other. Tyler has been here for a while and I really want to speak to him about that phone message.

  Just then, he turns to me and smiles. He’s in a dinner jacket with a bow tie and modest black mask. He looks so cool it takes my breath away. He’s already taken some photos for Eric and is due to take more during the evening. I almost don’t want to ruin the scene, but I’m desperate to understand.

  ‘Listen, Tyler, I wanted to talk—’ But just then, a man beside me catches my elbow and my drink spills all over his suit.

  ‘Oh, sorry!’

  I look to my left and the man is using his napkin to dab off the spillage on his red velvet suit.

  ‘No harm done, I bumped into you! It’s my place to say sorry!’ He touches my arm and smiles at me. ‘Stunning dress, by the way. Are you here on your own?’

  ‘Thank you. Er, no, I’m with my son.’ I’ve no idea what else to say as I turn my back on him. I think he’s flirting. Who he is? These masks are awful. I can’t tell who’s who – even if I did know a few people here.

  ‘I need another drink. I just feel so out of place here.’ I frown and look over at the barman. ‘Somehow these people, I don’t know, I just feel like I don’t belong.’

  ‘No, you don’t, Mum,’ Tyler’s says fiercely, and he grabs my wrist. ‘You’re better than any of them.’

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘I mean it.’ He leans in closer to me and gives me a hug. A hug. In public. Just when I was about to talk to him about his phone, about those messages…

  Every now and then, Tyler makes it easy for me to remember why I love him more than anything in the world. He’s my son and, just when I’m least expecting it, he goes and melts my heart, like when Paul came on to me all those months ago. Despite all our bickering and the stress we’ve had to go through this year, things seems to be changing for the better. I lean in and give him a quick peck on the cheek and he quickly rubs off my lipstick with his thumb. ‘Mum! Now you’re going too far!’

  I smile and look around. What am I doing here? It was very nice of Eric to invite me, but really, I don’t know anyone very well. I suppose Dawn and I have become quite close lately, more than close, if I’m honest – she’s a true friend.

  I try to stop my heart fluttering when I think of speaking to Daniel. Is he here? He should be here somewhere. I fiddle with my mask as Tyler leans in again. ‘C’mon, Mum, sure you’re OK?’

  ‘Fine, just a bit flustered at these kind of things, you know! And this bloomin’ mask, it’s ridiculous!’ I try to lift it up, but it gets caught in my hair. ‘Bless Ramone for making it, but it’s covered in glitter!’ I rub my hands together to get rid of yet more pink glitter and watch it twinkle in the disco lights as it descends to the floor. ‘Listen, we need to have a chat.’

  He shifts from one foot to another. ‘We do. Look – let’s talk later, OK? I promised Eric I’d take photos all night.’ He’s now holding his camera up to his face and snapping at me. It’s useless, he’s not paying attention and I don’t want to ruin Dawn’s night.

  I nod. ‘OK, later.’

  He starts to walk away then turns back. ‘Oh, by the way, you look stunning, Mum,’ he continues, ‘you really do. You should take Ramone shopping with you more often! See ya!’ And with that, he saunters off across the dance floor, then stops, lifts his camera up to his eyes and starts snapping away.

  I take a sip of champagne and look round the room. It’s a nice feeling when the cold bubbles fizz in my mouth – I take another large gulp, finish my glass and think about the party, about Daniel, and suddenly feel a surge of adrenalin. I must look for him. What was going on between him and Tyler? The barman whisks away my empty glass and places a full one by my elbow and smiles at me.

  I scan the room again, trying not to look obvious. But so much of me wants to see him again. I can’t help it. Several people are gathering by the dance floor, but I can’t see Daniel anywhere. There’s no one here with a beard. Everyone is clean-shaven. Under those s
illy masks, it’s hard to tell who’s who. My heart sinks. Maybe he hasn’t come after all.

  I wander towards the dance floor as the band starts to play sexy salsa music. A waitress stops by with a tray of gorgeous smoked salmon canapés on little blinis. I wave her away. Normally I’d eat the whole tray, but I can’t face it; my stomach is in knots.

  Suddenly, there’s a loud cheer and I look around. Really? There’s Eric, who knows more about rhododendrons than the Rhumba, shimmying on the dance floor! I grin and move closer to watch the performance. Then Dawn goes up to the dance floor, embraces him to a loud cheer from the audience. As the music starts up again, Dawn quickly moves away from dance floor, but she’s standing, open-mouthed by the side watching her husband. I go up to her and put my arm around her.

  ‘Your Eric’s a bit of a mover, then?’

  ‘Oh. My. God. Charlie, can you believe it?’ Her eyes are wide behind the mask.

  ‘Not really! How did he learn?’ How romantic.

  ‘Turns out that he was having lessons, here, right here in this hotel, in the hotel’s gym studio. Isn’t he sweet? His colleague Allan just told me. I thought he was out on Fridays helping Allan with the accounts. He was always so tired when he got back…’

  ‘And you were thinking he was…’ I whisper, leaning in to Dawn; the champagne has loosened my tongue.

  Dawn looks at me and removes her mask. ‘Charlie, I need to talk to—’ but before she can finish and old friend comes up to her.

  ‘Look at him, Dawn!’ she shrieks. ‘Now he’s dancing without his partner, but he’s still got all the moves!’

  Dawn’s grinning from ear to ear, then she turns to me and looks serious.

  ‘Hey, where’s Ramone?’ I giggle.

  ‘Not sure. I think he’s over there.’ Dawn points to the dance floor, then starts to say something to me, but I’m not listening. That’s not Ramone over there. Whoever it is, is tall, but suddenly I gasp as I think I’ve spotted Daniel from the back. Well, it can only be him. I’d know the back of him anywhere. I’ve secretly studied his silhouette a thousand times, his broad shoulders, how he walks (to get us a takeaway coffee), his profile (in the car when he wasn’t looking), that little bit of his neck where his shirt stops and his hair starts, when he was leaning across and filling the car up with petrol, the way he puts his hands up every now and then and rubs his beard.