by D K Olukoya
44 FREEDOM FROM GUILTY CONSCIENCE AND WORRIES.
Acts 24:16
"And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men."
Abstinence from sexual relations when a person is still single would lead to a life free from guilt and worries before God and before man. Guilt and worries resulting from premarital sex come into play when the person realizes the effects of their past sexual escapades and the consequences that may experience, most especially after marriage. They include childlessness due to past abortions, blackmail from ex-boyfriend/girlfriends who are in possesion of incriminating materials such as photos, love letters, etc. that could destroy the person's peace for the rest of their lives etc. In most cases, this guilt and worry would inhibit the person from experiencing true joy in any relationship they find themselves in again.
45 INABILITY TO EXPERIENCE TRUE LOVE.
Anyone who has had sex outside marriage may find it difficult to experience what true love is. Sex outside marriage will never have the capacity of bringing true love to a person. A person can only experience true love when they have accepted the love of God in their lives, and this comes by accepting Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour. There are four forms of love: Eros-love based on sexual attraction, Storge-This type of love is what is found within families. Philia-Affectionate type of love, and Agape-Unconditional love.
At most times what people term love is actually in the real sense lust (Eros-sexual love) which comes as a result of the desire for sexual gratification. When a person has full knowledge of the type of love ( Agape-unconditional love) God shows towards us, only then can the person appreciate and experience true love in any relationship they find themselves in.
46 IT CAN RESULT IN SUSPICION THAT DESTROYS TRUST AND LEADS TO LATE OR NO MARRIAGE.
Sex outside marriage has a lot of adverse side effects, suspicions being one of them. Most men and women that have had sex outside marriage find it hard to trust their partners in a relationship. Research has shown that couples that engaged in sex before marriage find it hard to trust each other when they are married, even if they engaged in it with each other! This can be a serious destabilizing factor in marriage, as trust is a vital ingredient in cementing marriage.
A lot of suspicions and negative thoughts will be running through their minds, especially whenever their partners are not with them. Some people can't cope with the fact that their spouse came back an hour later than usual. The next thing that comes to their minds is that maybe 'he or she was with someone else'. There would always be this inner feeling that their partner is unfaithful to them. People like these, because of their past sexual escapades, find it difficult to totally trust their partners. Such people can never experience true peace even when they eventually get married. This lack of trust and suspicion will be a source of conflict, as the other party to the relationship may become fed up with their partners' behaviour. This would eventually result in the break up of the relationship. Constant suspicion on the part of one of the parties in a relationship is what results in constant breakup of relationships that should have led to marriage, thereby leading to late marriage.
47 IT BREEDS HATRED AND STRIFE.
2 Samuel 13:14-15
"Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her. Them Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone."
After having sex with their partner outside marriage a person may eventually end up hating such partner, because sex was initiated by God to produce an unconditional love and also strenghten the union between the partners within the context of marriage. The result of this hatred by one party in the relationship would eventually lead to the collapse of the relationship. This would leave the other partner aggrieved and embittered. The resented lover would thereby develop negative emotions towards their ex-lover because of the rejection he/she has received. These emotions may, at most times, develop into strife. The latter effects of this strife may result in the embittered spouse taking vengence on their ex-lover which in some cases may lead to the death of one of the partners, as we have seen in the case of Amnon and Tamar (2 Samuel 13) when Absalom decided to take revenge for his sister Tamar after she had been violated by Amnon.
48 ATTACKS BY SPIRIT WIFE/HUSBAND DUE TO IMPURITY AND LUST (GENESIS 6:2-4, 1THESSALONIANS 4:3-4).
Sex outside marriage creates a legal ground for demons to enter and take possession of a person's life. This is the reason why so many people find themselves under the control of forces that are beyond there physical comprehension. Spirit husbands and wives, commonly known as Inccubi and Succubi in deliverance ministry, have been since the creation of Adam and Eve. These demonic spirits take control of people's bodies and mostly attack those who are sexually loose. Sexual immorality is one of the doors through which they invade lives. The sexually loose people, who are subject to lust and defilement, are the main toys in the hands of these wicked demons.
The most terrible thing about these attacks from spirit spouses is that it can come in both physical and spiritual ways and a person who has no knowlegde of deliverance would eventually spend their whole life subjected to their control.
49 AVOIDING UNNECESSARY STRESS.
Sex was designed by God to consist between two emotionally, physically and financially mature persons within the context of marriage. Those who are not married have no business engaging in it. When a person is emotionally, physically and financially mature he or she would be able to successfully cope with all the outcome that result from it. Sex within marriage would help someone avoid unnecessary terrible consequences like anxiety, grief, bitterness and regret which result in mental and emotional stress for couples who are not ready to bear the consequences of their actions.
50 EASIER TO TELL FUTURE PARTNER ABOUT YOUR PAST.
Every relationship should posses a high level of transparency in it. From the inception of every relationship that is intended to lead to marriage, both partners have a duty to disclose any relevant information that may pose a threat to the peace of that relationship. With no shameful past or dark secrets to hide, it is easier for a person to tell their partners about their past.
In the case when a person has lived a loose sexual life in the past (most especially females), where they have had a series of abortions which might have led to their wombs being partially or permanently damaged in the process, or in a situation when one partner caught a veneral disease like gonorrhea or syphilis, it is harder to reveal such information to their partner. In the end, when such secrets are found out, all hell would break loose in such relationships, which may likely result into a breakup.
51 IT LEADS TO A DISTORTED FAMILY LIFE.
This happens after pre-marital sex has resulted into an unplanned parenthood. A man or woman that has had a child or children for one or more different people stands the risk of having a distorted family life. After he or she eventually settles down in marriage, his or her attention would be divided around the scattered children under different roofs of their both parents. It's more headache-giving than it sounds because, as a matter of fact, you have already divided yourself unnecessarily. It could be avoided if you abstain from pre-marital sex.
52 IT DOWNPLAYS OTHER WAYS OF SHOWING LOVE.
When a relationship is just based on sex, other forms of expression of love would be phased out. Exchange of gifts, going on outings together in open places, regular communication, creating time for fellowship with one another etc, are all ways in which partners can show affection for one another without having sex in their relationship.
Sex may bring two people together, but it would only be temporary. Real love goes beyond sex. It consists of the little ways we show each other that we appreciate each other's uniqueness. When people have a basic knowledge that sex is restricted only within the boundaries of marriage, it will e
ncourage people to create other ways of expressing love towards one another which excludes any form of sexual activities
53 ALLOWING YOUR BODY TO BE USED AS A TOOL FOR ENTERTAINMENT BY THOSE WHO PROMISE MARRIAGE, LOVE OR COMMITMENT JUST TO GET SEX
Romans 6:13
"Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God."
1Corinthians 3:16
"Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?"
Fondling, oral sex, heavy petting and other forms of semi-sexual activities are unlawful uses of a person's body. Any man who promises marriage based on sex is not worth marrying as such a person lacks the fear of God and does not love you as he/she claims to. Notwithstanding, the fact that the man uses such a pickup line for one woman shows that he would simply use it for another woman when he gets tired of the first. In most cases, when a man has been given unrestricted access to a woman's body, it is rare for the relationship to end in marriage. Women should learn to uphold their dignity, keep their bodies holy and say no, to men offering marriage, commitment and love in return for' sex.
54 ZERO SPIRITUAL GROWTH ON AN EXPRESS WAY TO HELL FIRE.
Isaiah 35:8
"And an highway shall be there, and a way, and it shall be called The way of holiness; the unclean shall not pass over it; but it shall be for those: the wayfaring men, though fools, shall not err therein."
Revelations 21:8
"But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."
Sin seperates us from God. When a person has been cut off from the presence of God, the person would experience no spiritual growth. We need the daily presence of the Holy Spirit to help us grow as Christians, but the Spirit of God will only reside in a purified and sanctified body. Only one thing is evident here. Without a regular and consistent spiritual growth as a Christian, such a person is headed for destruction. Failure to repent would eventually guarantee that the person would end up in hell fire.
55 DAMAGED SELF-ESTEEM.
Using sex as a coping mechanism can create low self esteem, depression and interpersonal problems and this often leads to hyper-sexuality. Some people only see themselves through the eyes of others and feel they have no personal value unless they attach themselves to someone else. Such people are emotionally unstable and are willing to do anything, even going against their own wishes just to find some form of acceptance. The individual would continuously use sex as a means to gain some form of acceptance in trying to find some self worth, which is never going to surface from that direction.
56 IT LEAVES YOU EMPTY AND SEARCHING FOR REAL LOVE.
Anything that will not increase you will only decrease you. Through sexual relationships, people's souls are divided into the lives of others, leaving them spiritually and physically empty. Premarital sex can lead to emotional emptiness, regret, distrust and distress. It always leaves one party to the relationship feeling empty and used and their emotions physically abused and battered. Such issues if not properly addressed may result in a crisis for the individual. Some people, especially ladies tend to engage in sex as a way of satisfying a deep emotional hunger for love and affection. When this is done outside the confines of marriage, the person is unsatisfied after the act and keeps longing for more. Sex cannot be used as a medium of exchange to buy love. You do not need to engage in sex to show that you love someone or to get love from a person.
57 DAMAGED FELLOWSHIP WITH GOD.
Isaiah 59:20
"And the Redeemer shall come to Zion, and unto them that turn from transgression in Jacob, saith the LORD."
Premarital sex damages our relationship with God. It cuts a person off from His glorious presence and fellowship with Him is automatically terminated. Such a person will be cut off from many privileges they receive while in fellowship with Christ, such as dreams, visions and mighty revelations. These may all disappear when sin is in place. Men and women make a big mistake when they think they can break the law of God and not suffer the eternal consequences. A person who fails to repent would eventually end up in hell fire.
58 STRENGTHENING INTERNAL. YOKES AND BONDAGES.
Sin gives a foothold for the devil to have a legal ground in a person's life and do whatever he pleases with the person in question. Sin also hinders our complete deliverance. The fact is that as long as a person is still living in sin, especially the sin of fornication, he/she can never be free from any type of bondage he/she is in, no matter how much the person may fast and pray or go for deliverance.
59 DAMAGED WOMB OR REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS.
STDs like gonorrhea and syphillis (which make a person sterile) and also constant abortions (through pills and operations) due to premarital sex would eventually lead to damaged wombs and reproductive organs. Many men and women eventually have to pay a lifetime price of no children in marriage or worse still, no marriage at all. It would take the mercies of the living God for a woman/man who has a damaged womb/reproductive organ, to ever have any chance of giving birth in life.
Abstinence between partners in
courtship can help shield them
from bitter emotions for one
another, in the event that such
courtship does not end in marriage.
60 AVOIDING BIRTH CONTROL SIDE EFFECTS.
Birth control pills have numerous documented side effects such as mood swings, nausea, breakthrough bleeding and breast tenderness. It is wise for you to wait until the right time so that you would not have to "diligently" fight nature by putting off conception with these contraceptive pills. It is better to abstain from pre-marital sex than to try to "eat your cake and have it".
61 TRUE LOVE WILL WAIT AND WILL NOT SUBJECT PARTNERS TO FEAR OF DISEASES, UNWANTED PREGNANCY AND PSYCHOLOGICAL DIFFICULTIES OF PRE-MARITAL SEX.
Delving into pre-marital sex is like opening a can of worms. The repercussion is not palatable. Like I mentioned earlier, with pre-marital sex comes the fear of contracting STDs and unwanted pregnancy. True love would not subject its partner to any of these fears as it is written in I John 4:18: In other words, true love waits!
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."
62 IT IS A TRUST DESTROYER.
Trust is the bedrock of any relationship. Once trust is gone or even questionable, the relationship is over. Pre-marital sex puts the participants in a bad shape. It causes people to doubt the fidelity of their intending partner. Anybody who compels his/her partner to premarital sex just because he/she isn't in control of his/her sexual desires is not only selfish but is building a faulty foundation for the relationship itself.
63 IT MULTIPLIES SEXUAL DESIRES AND CAN CAUSE SEXUAL ADDICTIONS.
As mentioned above, sex in itself was created by God to be enjoyed by married couples. Premarital sex is an invention of the devil, a perversion of God's original plan and a work of the flesh. It doesn't have God's blessing or approval therefore all those who partake of it are at its mercy. The sexual drive is one of the strongest urges in the human being (second only to self-preservation). Therefore we are compelled by scripture to put our bodies under subjection (1 Corinthians 9:27 ), and to "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof". (Romans 6:12). Failure to do so would only make you a slave of your sexual desires. Engaging in premarital sex in order to release sexual tension or urge doesn't make things better. It makes things worse. Your giving in to such urges weakens your spirit and kills your resistance to sin thereby enslaving you further. Before you know it, you're no longer in charge.
64 TO AVOID CANCER, PELVIC INFLAMMATORY DISEASE AND INFERTILITY.
65 PRE-MARITAL SEX CAUSES COUPLES TO-BE TO STOP GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER AND FOCUS ON SEX INSTEAD.
There is a reason behind every command of God. Whenever God gives any law, instruction, rule or principle; there is always a very good reason behind it and man is the beneficiary. However, due to ignorance, many choose to go their own way. Sex is one area where human beings have consistently flouted God's laws with impunity. There is an intimacy that results from sexual intercourse owing to the bonding that occurs in its consummation. God made it so to enable couples renew their love and stay close throughout their lifetimes, considering the tumultuous nature that could attach to marriage.