by D K Olukoya
Such intimacy is not meant for unmarried couples. If unmarried couples engage in sex, they will get carried away by the intimacy and forget about learning more about themselves. The human flesh loves pleasure and there is a lot of pleasure in sex. The disadvantage however, is that they will ignore other important things that may debar them from getting married. So if the premise for engaging in pre-marital sex is that you will eventually marry, and then because of sex, you end up not marrying, then the question is: what's the point? The truth is that there is enough time for sex after marriage. The time of courtship will never be repeated, so it is advisable to use it to know your intending spouse in other ways apart from the bed.
66 IT CAUSES HUGE EMOTIONAL RISK.
As discussed above, sex causes intimacy between partners. This intimacy leads to emotional attachment that can often run very deep. The danger here is that if there is a subsequent break-up, the partners may find it hard to let go of each other. Owing to the fact that their souls have been joined, they may find themselves unable to continue on the journey of life on their own. This can lead to heartbreak, confusion, depression etc. and other consequences such as sex addiction. The dangers for an unmarried couple quite outweigh whatever pleasure is inherent therein.
67 THE EXPECTANCY THAT COMES WITH WAITING FOR SEX AFTER MARRIAGE DISAPPEARS THE MOMENT THE WOMAN GIVES IN TO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE.
If divine order is followed and sex is reserved for marriage, it generates expectancy in partners during courtship. They will both be looking forward to it. But the moment the woman gives in, such expectancy is immediately lost. That is the reason why most men tend to dump women after they have had sex with them. Once a man has had sex with a woman before marriage; to him, there is nothing 'special' about the woman anymore. He has been allowed to explore her to the hilt, and as a result, there is nothing to compel him to retain his interest in the woman. Hence, a break-up often occurs.
68 IT WOULD BE DIFFICULT TO DISCERN BETWEEN INFATUATION AND TRUE LOVE AS SEX COSTS LOSS OF OBJECTIVITY.
Sex can generate a lot of emotions due to the intimacy involved. These emotions often lead to confusion about the relationship. The partners I can no longer think clearly, especially about their future together. Sex blurs the lines such that they cannot really say whether they truly love each other or were simply infatuated. Because they had jumped the gun and gone into sex prematurely, they cannot be sure any more about how deep their feelings are for each other. If they can and actually discover that it was infatuation, they find it hard to break due to the resulting attachment from sex. That is why God reserved sex for marriage, because as a person, you would have been sure of your feelings for the person leading to that commitment. Waiting till marriage ensures that you are absolutely convinced of your choice of partner before sex.
69 PROBLEMS MASQUERADE MASKED BY PLEASURES OF SEX. AFTER MARRIAGE SUCH FLAWS AND SHORTCOMINGS CAUSE PROBLEMS.
When sex is indulged in during courtship, the couple-to-be tends to ignore other things due to the drive to assuage their sexual desires. The issues that were ignored, overlooked and not properly addressed begin to show up when the realities of marriage set in fully. Courtship is meant to be a time to learn about each other and not to maximize sexual activity. If all you do during courtship is have sex with each other, the issues you will ignore as a result will no longer be ignorable when you are finally married.
70 TEENAGERS, WHO SUBMIT TO PRE-MARITAL SEX EXPERIENCE LOWER SELF-RESPECT, FEAR OF COMMITMENT AND DEPRESSION.
When a person is in the teenage phase, he or she is in the stage of life known as adolescence. He or she has the appearance of an adult but is still developing. Teenagers are not yet adults. As a result of all the hormonal changes going on during this period, there is a drive for sex. However, if they begin to engage in sex during this period, it leads to a lot of emotional problems. That is why marriage is meant for adults only. Lower self-respect, fear of commitment, sexual addiction and depression are some of the consequences of sex in teenagers.
71 SEPARATION FROM THE MINISTRY OF ANGELS WHO DWELL WITH THE HOLY.
The Almighty God is a holy God and as such, he cannot dwell in any form of unholiness.
Deuteronomy 23:14
"For the LORD thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee."
Fornication will drive away God and His angels far away from anyone who is involved in such.
72 IT DESTROYS PROPER LIFE.
The divine order prescribes sex to be after marriage. Once you engage in it outside marriage, you have broken the divine order and the result will be disorder. It has the ability to turn a lot of things upside down. Many of those who have become permanent deliverance candidates would have no problem if they had not been involved in it.
73 REJECTION AND DISAPPOINTMENT.
Many people, most especially women, feel they can use sex to buy love. But sex is not the currency of love. Any woman who does so will find herself being used. Once her partners are able to satisfy their sexual urges enough, she finds out that they never truly loved her. Some men use declarations of love as a means of getting a woman to sleep with them. Once they get what they want, they leave. This will cause the woman to suffer the bitter pangs of rejection and disappointment.
74 TENDENCY OF ADDING INIQUITY TO INIQUITY.
Fornication is a sin, and like all sins, it tends to result in other sins. This happens when the parties involved try to cover it up. Lying to cover up, bitterness due to disappointment, uncontrollable lust leading to further fornication or masturbation, abortion due to unwanted pregnancy etc. are some of the sins that could result from fornication.
75 MOST DEMONIC CHILDREN FIND IT EASIER TO COME INTO THE WORLD THROUGH PRE-MARITAL PREGNANCIES, FOR JESUS CHRIST IS NOT THE FOUNDATION OF SUCH UNIONS BUT SEXUAL SINS.
Whenever any child is born out of wedlock, such a child has already started life on a deficit. This is because marriage is the, proper spiritual foundation for sex. A child who does not have the benefit of a proper foundation will be open to manipulation from the kingdom of darkness. Most demonized children from the womb are the agents of everlasting sorrow to their parents and societies. There is no way a demonized child can give joy to his or her parents. Such children come easily when they are products of sex outside marriage as their faulty foundation gives the devil a leeway into their lives.
76 PERSONS WHO PRACTICE PRE-MARITAL SEX ARE MORE LIKELY TO HAVE EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS AS WELL.
When a person engages in sex before marriage, he or she has shown by such an act a lack of self-control. Even after marriage, the lack of self-control will lead to extra marital affairs when problems occur with his or her spouse. Without even having problems, he or she will tend to have affairs because of the negative habit.
77 IT CAN LEAD TO UNHEALTHY MEMORIES AND COMPARISONS IN MARRIAGE.
When a person has had sex before marriage, the memories of the relationship will tend to linger after marriage. If there are problems in the marriage, there will be a tendency to compare past sexual partners with his or her spouse. This can lead to extra-marital affairs and if not nipped in the bud, the collapse of the marriage. This is a serious case, and it can happen to anyone in life. When a man or a lady has had sex with 10 people for example, there is the possibility that one of those 10 can perform so well in the act. This experience will be stored into the brain of the person; it will later become a problem for him or her if after marriage he/she discovers that the present partner is not as active as the other sex partner in the past. Naturally, everyone will love to have something better than the previous and if peradventure, the partner cannot meet up to his or her expectations sexually, then the problem begins.
78 IF THE TRUMPET SOUNDS WHILE IN THE ACT YOU WILL NOT MAKE HEAVEN.
Just as it is written in the Scripture "that the son of man cometh like a thief in the
night". If when he comes, you were caught in the act, it will be so terrible as there will be no room for a quick repentance that can save you from going straight to hell.
79 YOU MAY THEREAFTER INITIATE A PROGRAMME OF POVERTY FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.
Just like the saying "if you fail to plan, you are planning to fail". Sex is sweet, sex is good, but it must be with your life partner and that can happen only after you have been married to each other. If all a man can think of doing always and at any point in time is all sex, then he is planting a seed of poverty that will grow and germinate. Premarital sex has the ability to convert a man's life to a fruitless tree. And like what happened to the tree that Jesus saw when He was hungry and wished to pluck fruit from, only to discover that there is none to pluck. The tree was cursed instantly and that was the end. The same will be the lot of anyone who allows premarital sex to render his or her destiny to a state of permanent fruitlessness. Such a person will be counted as a wasted investment by heaven and will receive a divine curse.
If all a man can think of doing always and at any point in time is all sex, then he is planting a seed of poverty that will grow and germinate. Premarital sex has the ability to convert a man's life to a fruitless tree.
80 YOU MAY ATTRACT A CURSE UNDER WHICH YOU WILL LABOUR FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE FROM PARENTS OF PARTNERS.
There are different ways of looking at this point. One, if you are from a very innocent background and your foundation is so pure and was not polluted, you are fortunate. But if you just decide to join yourself to a guy or lady whose foundation had been cursed, you will automatically share in the curse that is running after your sex partner, since sex turns two to become one. The second angle to this point is when you attract curses to yourself from your partner's parents. How? If you disappoint their child by refusing to marry him or her because you already had access to him or her sexually, and you don't feel like continuing in the relationship.
81 SEXUALLY ACTIVE BOYS ARE MORE THAN TWICE LIKELY TO HAVE DEPRESSION AND EIGHT TIMES MORE LIKELY TO ATTEMPT SUICIDE, COMPARED WITH NON-SEXUALLY ACTIVE ONES.
Allow me to repeat that sex is more than a physical thing; there are very serious spiritual and emotional dimensions to it. Research has shown that boys who engage in sex are more than twice likely to have depression and eight times more likely to attempt suicide than non-sexually active boys due to their inability to handle the emotions that bombard them as a deluge because of their sexual activity.
Abstinence between partners in
courtship can help shield them
from bitter emotions for one
another, in the event that such
courtship does not end in marriage.
82 YOU MAY BECOME AN AGENT OF BAD INFLUENCE.
When you engage in sex outside marriage, you can influence a lot of people into following your footsteps including friends, neighbours, siblings, colleagues, etc. People who are easily impressionable or who are struggling to ensure that they do not fall short can be easily tempted by your example. This is very bad as you become responsible for their fall. There is a curse attached to this as we see in Matthew 18:6:
"But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea."
83 MOST CONTROVERSIAL CHILDREN BORN THROUGH PRE-MARITAL SEX DO NOT LIVE LONG, AND IF THEY DO, ARE NOT PERFECTLY CARED FOR AND LOVED BY BOTH PARENTS.
Controversy can result very easily when a child is conceived outside marriage. The question of paternity as well as the shame and gossip associated with the child can lead to neglect, resulting in death. Even if the child lives long, because of the controversy surrounding him opr her, he or she will not receive proper care and attention from both parents. This can introduce trauma into the life of such a child.
84 MOST CHILDREN BORN THROUGH PREMARITAL SEX ARE ALREADY IN THE COVENANT OF FORNICATION, AND THEY WILL NEED DELIVERANCE SO AS NOT TO FOLLOW THE STEPS OF THEIR PARENTS.
The power of heredity is very strong. Research has shown that children get all their characteristics through their parents and this is passed from generation to generation through DNA. The same thing applies spiritually as well.
Hebrews 7:9-10
"And as I may so say, Levi also, who receiveth tithes, payed tithes in Abraham. For he was yet in the loins of his father, when Melchisedec met him."
We see a very clear example given above. The tribe of Levi who were yet unborn when Abraham paid tithe to Melchisedec were said to have paid the tithe while still in Abraham, and as a result, was appointed to collect tithes years later. A child born out of fornication will have inherited that spirit and will need deliverance so that he or she does not begin to pay for the sins of his or her parents.
85 SEX DECLINES IN FREQUENCY AFTER THE HONEYMOON.
Owing to the fact that the couple has explored each other prior to marriage, there will be less passion for sex due to reduced excitement. It is best to save sex for marriage so as to heighten the anticipation and keep the frequency stable in the marriage.
86 COUPLES WHO DELAY SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE HAVE MORE STABLE AND HAPPIER MARRIAGES THAN THOSE WHO HAVE PRE-MARITAL SEX.
When a couple waits for marriage before having sex, they will be saved a lot of heartbreak that those who engage in it may face. As a result, they will have more stable and happier marriages.
87 ABSTINENCE COSTS NOTHING AND HAS NO SIDE EFFECTS.
While many people think sex is cheap, it is not. The cost of sex is unknown by both parties when engaged in, but it is potentially unlimited and can send a person's destiny into bankruptcy. A lot of people try to contain the possible fallout from sex by using various forms and combinations of contraceptives. However, the truth remains that almost all contraceptives have one negative side effect or the other on a person's health. Abstinence on the other hand costs nothing and has no side effects. All those myths being circulated about the effects of not having sex on a woman's womb and childbirth have no medical backing. For your own good, it is better to abstain.
88 TEEN GIRLS WHO ABSTAIN FROM SEX UNTIL THEY ARE OLDER, AND LIMIT SEXUAL PARTNERS TO LATER IN LIFE, ARE LESS LIKELY TO DEVELOP CERVICAL CANCER OR BECOME INFERTILE.
There are quite a number of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) which a person is exposed to when he or she engages in sex. Women are more susceptible due to the make-up of their reproductive system. The vagina is porous and has cracks in it. This allows for the secretion of fluid to lubricate it during intercourse. Because of this, women can contact diseases easily as the pathogens pass through these cracks and get into her system.
Teenage girls are at a higher risk due to the fact that their reproductive systems are still developing. This makes the effects of any STDs on them more devastating. Some STDs are progressive i.e. they move from stage to stage, becoming more deadly at each successive stage. This can lead to cervical cancer or infertility for them later in life. It is therefore advisable for teenage girls to wait till later in life i.e. when they get married, before engaging in sex.
89 ALSO, CHILDREN BORN TO YOUNG PARTNERS WHO ARE NOT MARRIED MIGHT SUFFER PHYSICAL, MENTAL OR SEXUAL ABUSE.
When children are born to young people who are not ready for marriage or parenting, such a child is at risk for abuse. Whichever parent is responsible for the upbringing of the child is likely to transfer her frustration about conditions to the child, or neglect the child if a man. This can lead to physical and mental abuse. Also, due to economic pressures and the lack of a partner to join in bringing up the child, the responsible parent may have to leave the child for very long periods because of work. This can lead to sexual abuse from family members or neighbours. The number of such cases has been on the rise and it is believed that this is caused by young couples who engage in unprotected premarital sex that are not prepared to rear children.
90 HAVE TIME TO BUILD A STRONG FRIENDSHIP.
When partners abstain from se
x, it gives them time to know each other better and become good friends. Jumping into bed with each other takes up time and prevents them from building friendship. Sex is very addictive and has the potential to make itself the focus of a relationship.
91 EASIER TO PAY ATTENTION TO A PARTNER'S FEELINGS.
When you abstain from sex, you will pay more attention to your partner. You will take time to notice his or her preferences, eccentricities and idiosyncrasies. This will help you know your partner better. Some people think sex is the way to know their partners better. But sex will only help you to map out the person's body. Man is a spirit being and the body is simply a residence for the spirit. So if you only know a person's body, then you do not really know the person. It is like knowing a person's house and claiming to know the person. You can know a residence without knowing the person who lives inside. Paying attention to your partner is one of the best ways to truly know him or her.
92 IT SHOWS MATURITY WHEN YOU ABSTAIN.
One of the signs of maturity is discipline. The ability to abstain from sex is one of the greatest acts of self-controla person can exhibit. It shows that the person is truly a grown up. If you cannot discipline yourself with regards to sex, you will be opening up your destiny to the devil for free access.
93 THE RELATIONSHIP MAY LAST LONGER IF SEX IS SUBTRACTED FROM IT.