*************
Lucas
He’d done it. Alexi had let go, and allowed me in, allowing me to pet and love and take care of him. I wasn’t stupid, I knew Alexi would buck and push against my control sooner or later. For now, he realized he didn’t have to be strong. He didn’t need to prove to anyone that he wasn’t hurt, or crushed by what was going on with Chase. I would take care of that later. Chase and I would be discussing this when we got to the club for the meeting. Right now though, I needed to get Alexi to my home, to my turf and lay down some rules. Picking up his suitcase, I grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes.
“Is there anything else you need right now? Anything you want to take with you?”
I watched as he shook his head and looked down at my hand holding his. I squeezed his hand to reassure him and walked out of his room.
“I need you to say it, Boy. Out loud, I will not remind you again. I ask a question you answer it aloud, understand?”
“Yes Patron, I understand. No Patron, I don’t need anything else.”
“Do you want to leave a message for your roommates before we leave? I’m not sure how friendly you guys are, so I don’t want them to worry about you not being around.”
I didn’t know much about his roommates, so I thought it would be a good idea to leave a message so they didn’t think he’d been kidnapped.
“No. We come and go at different times and they know I’m a cop. We’re pretty much strangers to each other. They probably won’t notice as long as the rent gets paid.”
“Good. I didn’t want to see flyers up with ‘Have you seen this man’ and your picture on it, though it might help our undercover case,” I chuckled softly, so he knew I wasn’t serious.
“Well, then it’s off to my place.”
I headed out the door holding his hand, and we repeated the process again. I held his car door, put on his seatbelt and then closed the door. A routine was best started early in a relationship like I wanted with Alexi. I had a need to be in control, always did have, but it got even worse after my brother died. No, he did not “die”. He was murdered by the son of a bitch who was rotting in a Louisiana Prison
The thought of sharing that with Alexi scared me. I didn’t talk about it… Ever. I knew that wasn’t healthy, but I just wasn’t ready to open that wound again. I knew I would tell Alexi, just not when.
Fingers gently touched my thigh as I drove. I followed them up his arm to see Alexi watching me.
*************
Alexi
The look on Lucas’s face worried me. He looked so hurt and lost for a moment. I laid my fingers on his thigh to let him know I was here if he needed me. He seemed to get it and a soft smile rested on his face for a minute, until he turned his eyes forward to drive. He took my hand and threaded his fingers through it, clasping it firmly on his lap. It warmed something in me that I was able to just let him know he wasn’t alone. I don’t know what that look was about, but it obviously hurt him. Whatever he was thinking had caused him a lot of pain, still did.
Watching him drive, I saw him pull himself together. It was comforting to see him hurting. I don’t know...he seemed to have shared his pain with me, making us closer. He didn’t hide it from me, just showed me he could handle the emotional pain as well as the physical.
He was so sincere, so strong. It made me feel I could trust him. He would know exactly what I needed. I could trust his strength to be there when I needed it. The real me, the one I kept inside, wanted to open up to this man. I felt I could truly trust him. Lucas, my Patron, had the strength to stop in the middle of the blow job I was giving him. Basically, giving himself blue balls. It showed that he was in charge, no matter what. And him showing his pain… reining it in like that; I tried to imagine what it would feel like to be that strong.
Lucas was right about me. I’m the lovable, fun-loving, crazy dare, type of twink. My greatest mission was to make people laugh, smile, and feel good. Of course, I’m good at my job also. But that’s a whole other me. There are two Me’s. They’re both me… they’re just very different.
I snorted loud enough for Lucas to hear and he turned towards me.
“What are you thinking, Bebe`? What’s so funny?”
“I was just thinking how different and complicated my life is. It’s like there are two Me’s. The cop, and twink. One’s down to earth and careful. The other is the life of the party, always up to something.” I laughed at myself as I shook my head.
“Yes. You’re right, but think about it another way. As a cop, you protect people, try to help the victims if you can. You try to keep a brave face and entertain your friends. You make both the victims and your friends as happy as you can. You do your best to help people as both your ‘selves’. You’re a caring, strong, and beautiful person inside and out. In both your so called different ‘Me’s”, you don’t even have to try to make yourself care. You just do.”
I held still for a moment. I never really thought about it, and thinking about it made me blush. He was right, I had a need to help people. It’s why I became a cop. I’d thought about being a Social Worker, but I couldn’t do that. I would always want to arrest the person who was doing the hurting or abusing. I couldn’t stand the aftermath, and that made me feel guilty. I knew this was the only choice for me. It would have been too frustrating and depressing to see the worst in people’s lives day after day. I still believed that. I’ve seen some horrible things. I’ve arrested people. I went undercover to stop even worse things from happening, like now. Arresting someone helped the victims, and sometimes the criminal as well.
I may stop a drug dealer, or the trafficker. I’ve talked to prostitutes and offered a way out through programs that would help them change their lives. I’ve arrested murderers and purse snatchers. Badass or scared youths, it didn’t matter. I always spoke with them human being to human being. Some wanted help. Most didn’t and laughed in my face, but I always tried to help.
“It’s the part of you that’s taken the hardest hits from what’s happened between you and Chase. I want to see you happy, and because of this crap with Chase, I never have. Yes, I’m new, and I’ve only ever seen you defensive and unhappy, but I’ve seen glimpses of the real you a time or two. I want that, to see you. Yes, even your bratty side. I know you’ll be a handful, but I am strong enough to handle you. You’ve never had a Dom like me, and I’m more than enough for you.”
His tone of voice, low and firm, sent shivers down my spine like fingers.
Oh man, he’d seen my weakness. Talking to me like, the grin on his face? I knew he’d seen it, and was loving it. With my hard-on still locked in the leather cock ring, the only thing I could do was flex my ass. A moan fell out of my mouth as I clenched down on the giant plug. Hearing his dark chuckle made me clench again. I didn’t worry about the moan this time, he knew what I was doing anyway, so why not.
“We’re almost home now. We’ll be there in just a minute and we’ll talk about your punishments.”
I realized, as I looked around, that I had no idea where we were. I’d let my mind wander and hadn’t paid attention at all. I saw a sign for Highland Meadows Country Club, so I knew where I was, but this place was way beyond my pay grade. I had to wonder how Lucas could afford a posh place like this, but I wouldn’t be rude enough to ask.
“How in the world do you afford a place like this?”
Shit! I slapped my hand over my mouth. It seemed I wasn’t as well behaved as I said I was, but he was smiling and chuckling, so I couldn’t have been too rude.
“I’ll tell you my story when we get home. There are a few rules to lay down and things we need to discuss. All of that will happen once we’re at home.”
Hearing him say home like that made me feel like it would be my home as well. He couldn’t mean it that way, could he? This was just an undercover mission. Yeah, he may want this - whatever this was - to go on longer, but he couldn’t mean for me to move in. Like permanently, could he? He said to w
ait, so I wouldn’t ask. There was no doubt in my mind that that had been an order. He may not have said it harshly or meanly, but a whisper could be taken as an order from this man. So I would sit here and stay quiet… even though it was killing me. I knew if I asked I’d risk further punishment. He also said back at my place that I didn’t have the kind of toys he needed to punish me with. So, as hard as it was not to ask questions, I pressed my lips together as hard as I could and tried to think of other things.
“It’s killing you isn’t it?” He asked softly.
“Fuck, yes!” I shouted, not meaning to be so loud, but I couldn’t help it. “I’m not really good at controlling myself. I like to ask questions, and being told to wait just makes me start trying to figure out what the answer is. I have patience when in cop mode, I wouldn’t have lasted long if I didn’t, but I’m nosy as hell and can’t help it if I’m not on the job.”
He was outright laughing at me now. No deep dark chuckling to tease me. He was actually laughing and when he looked at me, I was floored. He’d always been handsome to me in that deep, dark, I own you kind of way. When he looked at me and I saw the dimple in his left cheek and the bright sparkling light in his eyes, I realized, he was gorgeous! That beautiful shoulder length black hair with plenty of curls and waves. I always thought he had nice brown eyes, but when he really laughed, they sparkled with honey notes in them. He was so much more than just the deep, dark, Dom. And I would do whatever it took to make him look just like that. Like there wasn’t a care in the world and he was happy. Whatever it took, I wanted him to look like that.
*************
Lucas
Watching Alexi fidget more and more, I knew I had to let him say something or he would explode. It was killing him. I expected him to start asking questions as soon as I said it. I was stunned when he exploded with such power. I couldn’t believe just how hard it had been for him not to question me until we got home like I’d said. I started to laugh and I couldn’t stop for several moments. I hadn’t laughed like that since before my brother’s murder. While that thought helped me control myself, I felt better than I had in a long while. Smiling softly, I pulled into our driveway, but I didn’t pull into the garage. Turning towards him I looked into his eyes, I needed him to look into my eyes and believe what I was telling him.
“I will do everything in my power to protect you. I need you to know that. I let someone down and I know what can happen. So, I need you to know I will never let that happen again. I will tell you about that person I let down.” He started to interrupt, but I held up my finger and he stopped.
“I will tell you for both your benefit and for mine. To remind me of that person, and how I failed him. I did fail him, if by nothing else than by not helping him when he needed me the most.
“For right now though, I want you to know that this house is your house. I don’t want you to think of yourself as a guest, you don’t have to ask for anything, even though, I know you will. I will tell you what the rules are, and what you do have to ask for, and when. I’m a 24/7 Dom and that’ll be difficult for you to get used to. For example, if you're hungry and I’m not here to take care of you, I’ll leave you snacks to eat, and you may eat them. Or, if you take a shower, I’ll leave you special things to wash with or maybe bubble bath and scented oils. I want to surprise you. I want you to know that I want to take care of you, to show I care by doing things for you, so you don’t have to do them. All you have to do right now is listen and follow my instructions. Now, let’s go inside and I’ll tell you the rules.”
I watched him as I shut off the car and unbuckled my seatbelt. I could see he was getting the hang of it. He knew I would come around and let him out. It gave me hope that this would work. My way of dominating, taking over and protecting at all cost, being the worst case. Knowing what he needed and wanted, and giving it to him in due time, being the best case, wouldn’t be too much. We would find a way to be what each other needed. I have Alexi now and I wasn’t letting go without a fight.
As I helped him from the car and shut the door, I interlaced our fingers and pulled his suitcase along behind me. It was awkward, but I didn’t want to let go of him and he needed his things in the house. When we reached the door, I still wouldn’t let go of his hand. Instead, I let go of the suitcase and pulled my keys from my pocket with difficulty. I heard a small snort coming from Alexi.
“Think it’s funny? You try reaching into your right pocket with your left hand.”
“How about I reach my right hand into your pocket? That might be easier.”
He said it in such a light and flirty way that I couldn’t help but growl a little. I watched his eyes widen and his breathing hitch softly and I smiled.
“Think you can do it so much easier than me? Lets see you try.”
His breathing was ratcheting up, his pupils dilating as he reached into my pocket. He fished around a bit, not looking for the keys at all. I raised one eyebrow and softly scolded him.
“I knew you wanted punishment, Boy. I asked if you thought you could reach my keys. You weren’t looking for the keys at all. Naughty, naughty, Boy.”
He was breathing rather quickly. His cock had never softened completely but now it jumped in his pants. I saw it when I said the word punishment.
“Oh, yes. Such a naughty boy you are. The thought of punishment is making you hard. Do. As. You. Are. Told… NOW.” I barely breathed the last bit into his ear. He jolted as if he’d been hit with a taser. He quickly fished out the keys and handed them to me. His heart was pounding so hard his jugular vein was trying to jump out of his skin and was plainly visible in his neck now. I ran my fingers, now holding the keys, over his cheek gently, to show I was no longer upset.
“Good Boy.” I let that sink in for a moment.
“I should not have had to say it again, Boy. Tsk. Tsk. You must really want a punishment. I can handle that at the same time as your other punishments. Let’s go inside. I don’t want the neighbors to have any juicy gossip about the gay couple living in this house. The older lady in the house next to ours is always looking to get some gossip on me. Thank God for big backyards and privacy fencing.”
After opening the door, we stood in the foyer that held a closet, coat rack and a long two tiered shoe rack.
“You should take out your shoes and line them all up on the top rack. I don’t like shoes in the house. I’m not a germaphobe but some of the places I’ve had to walk through? Yeah, no, not in this house if I can help it.”
Alexi had already opened his suitcase and arranged the three pairs of shoes he packed on the rack. I guess he was quickly learning that, even though it wasn’t said as a command, it was better to err on the side of caution and treat it like one.
Walking on stocking feet, I went into the large sunken living room on the left. Sitting down on the large leather couch, I waited for Alexi to do the same.
“I’m new, like I said, but there aren’t many people who know this story I’m going to tell you. I need to tell it first and then we can discuss the rules.”
I had to pause a second and take a deep breath. I felt Alexi interlace our fingers again, and it gave me the strength to start.
“I worked in Louisiana’s Special Victims Unit in New Orleans for three years before it really hit me what that meant. What Special Victims truly meant. I understood that I worked to solve crimes and put the bad guys away, but it wasn’t until I knew one of the victims, that I truly knew these victims were special. Whether to me, or someone else, they were all special. That victim was my baby brother.”
I felt Alexi squeeze my fingers and inch closer to me, it helped me to keep going.
“I never should have been at that crime scene. No one except family and a few close friends knew we had been adopted by extended family members and given new names. Different names. They changed our names after our Mother went to prison for killing our Father. So, my brother became James Allain Thibodaux and I became Lucas Armand Bachelier. To me he would always b
e Jamie. The world didn’t know him as my baby brother.
“Jamie had the worst taste in men. He always fell for the sob stories, the excuses why they couldn’t work. He always accepted the apologies and tears when the men came crawling back with promises it would stop after beating him. They said they loved him and would never hit him again.
“I lost touch with Jamie. To be honest it was easier for me to distance myself because he wouldn’t listen to me. He would invite whichever asshole it was that month back into his house and the cycle would start again. I told myself it was self-preservation, that Jamie would never change and some man would kill him one day.”
I had to stop for a minute. I was opening myself up more than I wanted to but it just kept coming. Alexi just kept holding my hand and squeezing hard during the parts that hurt the most.
“He called me three days before it all happened. Said he needed my help and he really needed to get out of the situation he was in. He was scared and needed me to help him. I blew him off. He said those words to me a hundred times and I’d always go and get him. I’d get him settled in a new place and before long it would be the same situation all over again. So, I told myself I’d call him back later. I’d answer the phone next time he called and start trying to piece his life together… but he never called again. I thought about it, but figured he’d listened to the lies again and didn’t want my help after all. I would call him only to find out he was just fine. But I never called.
Out of the Ashes (Trust Book 2) Page 5