Freedom

by KC Kean

Handing her the phone, she reluctantly answers.

  “Hey, it’s Luna… We’re just out for food we were just… Wait. What?” Her eyes widen as she looks in my direction, the color slowly draining from her face.

  As if sensing something is wrong, the Aces are suddenly at the table, hovering over us as we listen to one side of a serious conversation.

  “Is he okay?” Luna murmurs, and my heart stops. Is who okay? “No, of course. We’re on our way over now. Love you.”

  Placing my phone on the table between us, the rest of us stare her down, waiting for her to talk. Licking her lips, Luna swallows past the lump in her throat as she keeps her eyes on mine.

  Reaching her hand across the table, she squeezes my hand. “Jess, I need to go to the medical center, and you need to decide if you want to come with me.”

  “Who’s hurt?” I ask, a sickly feeling stirring in my stomach.

  Parker places his hand on her shoulder, giving her the strength she needs to speak.

  “West.”

  I blink rapidly as I process what she’s saying. West? How can my West be hurt?

  “Wh-what…” My heart pounds wildly in my chest, making me feel like I’m about to pass out.

  “He was called to go with Rafe earlier today on an assignment, and when he got to the hangar, they realized too late it was a setup, and there was… an explosion.”

  Oh my gosh. My heart slams down over my mouth as I hold my sobs back.

  West. My West was in an explosion. I need him. I need to see him. Now.

  “Where is he?” I ask frantically, rising from my seat, and Oscar wraps his arm around my shoulder, trying to calm me down.

  “He’s at the medical center. They just got here. Rafe said it could have been much worse, but West managed to move away from the targeted area.”

  Luna stands, Kai guiding her around the table as Roman leads the way to the door. Oscar doesn’t let go, and I’m so grateful because I would fall over my own feet right now if he did.

  Wordlessly climbing into the back of a Rolls Royce, Oscar slips in beside me. Neither of us says a word as it takes forever to pull up outside of the Combat building.

  We have seen too much of this damn medical center to last a lifetime.

  The second the car comes to a stop, I push the door open and jump out, rushing in my boots to the entryway. I hear the others shouting behind me, but I just need to see him.

  The medical center entry is to the right of the Combat building, and the second I step inside I feel dizzy as the clinical smell washes over me. Rushing for the desk, I don't see the guy crossing in front of me until it’s too late, and I run straight into him.

  “Woah,” he grunts, arms wrapping around me before I hit the floor.

  My heart stops as I recognize the smell of leather and sandalwood instantly.

  Maverick.

  My body forgets to move as he slowly straightens me up, his eyes assessing me. I haven’t seen him since he cared for me in the shower. Washing away the grime and pain from my body. I’ve avoided going to any Combat classes with the fantastic excuse that my body needs to heal.

  I watch as the storm swirls in his wide eyes, his face strained as he looks down at me in confusion.

  “What are you doing here?” He asks, not letting go of me.

  “W-West,” I breathe, and he nods slightly.

  As if remembering where things stand between us, he releases his hold on me, taking a step back, and my heart cracks at the movement.

  “If I knew you would come running when one of us got hurt, I would have injured myself sooner,” he mutters, and his words hurt. But before I can respond Luna and the guys are beside me. “Let me show you where he is.” Turning, he doesn’t glance back as he walks us by the desk, and to the furthest room on the right.

  Holding the door open, he doesn’t move further into the room, making me brush against him to get by. My body feels electric, touching him as I struggle to breathe.

  As soon as my eyes find West, I squeeze Maverick’s hand without thinking. His fingers intertwine with mine in an instant as he guides me further into the room.

  He’s lying in the center of the room, propped up on cushions with an oxygen mask over his face. My heart sinks at the scene before me. I barely pay any attention to Rafe sitting to one side, and who I believe is West’s grandmother, on the other side as my feet guide me to him.

  I feel the others step into the room, but my focus is West. Releasing Maverick’s hand, I step up to the bed, and I startle when West’s eyes peer open, and he slowly lifts the mask from his face.

  “Sunshine.”

  A cry breaks through my lips as I hear the one word I was desperate for. I don’t know what to do with myself, but the second he starts coughing and spluttering, I reach out to squeeze his arm, my eyes searching him manically.

  “Will you keep that god damn mask on your fucking face, boy? You’re getting on my nerves,” his grandmother growls from the chair beside me, and my eyes widen at her tone.

  Her curled grey hair and soft, gentle make-up make her look sweet, but this woman has a bite on her.

  West rolls his eyes as Rafe places the mask back in place.

  “What’s the extent of his injuries?” Luna asks, coming to stand beside me.

  “He’s very lucky,” Mrs. Morgan murmurs, rising to stand next to me, her eyes on West. “An unhealthy dose of a concussion and he did have a dislocated shoulder, but I soon remedied that, didn’t I?” She adds with a grin, patting his shoulder and making him wince in pain.

  Holy shit, she better stop being mean to him. Right now. She catches my glare, and I don’t even have the strength to reign it in or apologize, but that only seems to make her smile.

  “Don’t worry, sunshine, I’m just giving him shit. Once when he was a little brat, he had me climb a fucking tree to get his ball down. Me. I didn’t realize I was afraid of heights until that moment, and this little bastard thought it was hilarious. Even when I fell and broke my foot in three places.” She turns to glare at him, and I can’t help but do the same.

  But he smiles so wide, I can see it through the oxygen mask on his face.

  “I think you should hit it again, just for extra measure,” I mumble, and she laughs, the noise coming straight from her belly.

  Her head falls back as she pats my hand that still rests on West’s arm.

  “I like her. A lot.” Pinching my cheek, she smiles. “I’m popping outside for a smoke.” And just like that, she’s gone.

  “You guys should have brought me to see Mrs. Morgan to jog my memory.” Luna chuckles. “Because I remembered that snark instantly.”

  Rafe grins, standing to walk around the bed to Luna. Placing a kiss on her forehead, he glances at West.

  “We still have no clue what happened today, but we’re going to continue the search with the Russians believing you're dead. Which, luckily for you, means no assignments for the foreseeable future.” My eyes flicker between the two of them, and West nods in understanding. “I’ll give you guys some time. Aiden should be here any time too,” he adds before stepping outside.

  “Same,” Parker murmurs. “I’m glad you’re okay, West.”

  Luna and the others all follow him out. Leaving me with West and Maverick, and I suddenly feel overwhelmed by their proximity like this. I hate how awkward I feel. It should never be like this between us. Maverick moves to the other side of the bed, and I want to scream at the distance.

  Looking down at my feet, I rub my lips together nervously.

  “I’m so sorry, West. I’m glad you’re okay, but I don’t think I can be here,” I whisper, tears welling in my eyes uncontrollably.

  Moving my hand from his arm, his hand quickly reaches up for mine.

  “Please, Jess,” he mutters, lifting the mask off his face with his other hand. “It doesn’t have to be like this.”

  “I wish it weren’t,” I admit, squeezing his hand. “I’m so confused and lost right now. I want to make decisi
ons with a clear mind, but my head is muddled all the time.” I use the sleeve of my sweater to wipe the tears off my face.

  “If it’s time you need, sunshine, I can give you that, but please tell me there is still hope.”

  I fall silent, searching his eyes as I try to find the honest answer. I never want to lie to either of them or Aiden. I desperately want to be true to myself, but my mother looming over me makes that difficult.

  Pulling my hand from his, I see the hurt in his eyes, but I force myself to step back from the bed. I can’t think clearly with them so close, my heart screaming for them.

  Standing in front of the door, I take a deep breath before I turn around.

  “A lot has happened. The secrets, my mother, Frankie, all of it.” I swallow.

  “Frankie is no longer a problem. He’s dead,” Maverick states so matter of factly, but it settles a part of my soul that has been fearful of him returning. “He doesn’t touch what’s mine like he did and live to see another day.”

  His words should frighten me, but they strangely comfort me. Apparently, I only seem to have a problem with myself killing people, not those around me doing it.

  I nod in acknowledgment for what feels like the hundredth time since I can’t seem to find the right words to respond.

  Glancing between them both, I say the only truth I have. “It’s not a case of me forcing myself to find hope. I’ve spent the whole time convincing myself there is none.”

  Relief flashes in West’s eyes while Maverick gives nothing away.

  Opening the door, I slip from the room, Luna and the Aces all looking at me in surprise.

  I need air.

  Rushing for the door, I step into the cool night air gasping for breath. My eyes close as I lift my face to the sky. It takes me a moment to realize it’s raining, but I don’t care.

  When the raindrops suddenly stop hitting my face, I open my eyes, surprised to see an umbrella above my head. Glancing to my left, I find Mrs. Morgan beside me, a cigarette poised at her mouth as she looks me over.

  “One day, missy, you will come to realize that love is the only way to survive this world.”

  Jess

  Taking a deep breath, Luna squeezes my arm as we start up the stairs towards the academic building. I’m so ready for this week to be over.

  After running from West’s bedside last night, I barely slept a wink, again. His grandmother’s words playing on repeat in my head all night.

  Love is the only way to survive this world.

  I had a free period before, but Luna insisted I wait in the car until she got here from her Weaponry class with the Aces. It seems I need full supervision now. Does my breakdown look that close to the surface?

  Every step I took from the medical center last night only intensified the pain in my heart. But what’s the point in avoiding heartache now, just to feel it all over again in two months? I’d rather not. It already feels like my soul has been ripped apart. I do not need to endure this initial phase ever again.

  Now, I have to climb these stairs and spend the next ninety minutes in my Science class, feeling Aiden’s eyes on me the whole time. But at least I can’t feel his hurt like last time since I’m sitting beside Oscar and not Reece.

  I mean Reece will be in there, but Luna has also promised he is the least of my concerns right now. Oscar will be the perfect barrier.

  The elevator doors open, and Kai steps ahead to hold them. Roman glares at everyone as we step in, stopping anyone from joining us. He doesn’t even have a damn class right now, but he always seems to be here when Luna has Tech.

  Parker and Oscar join us too, and we silently watch as the floor level rises. The elevator dings as we arrive on the floor for Tech, and Luna turns to stand in front of me.

  “If you need me for anything at all, just call. If it gets to be too much, we can just leave.”

  “Thanks, Luna.” She leans in to hug me, and I squeeze her back, forever grateful for her friendship and the way she has been here for me. I didn’t even get a classic ‘I told you so’ when Reece was a dick.

  I do need to convince her to stay in her own room tonight though. I need to get back to normal, and that includes sleeping on my own. I just can’t sleep. Worrying about my father, and my nightmares haunting me make it very difficult.

  I guess I’m thankful for the Aces too. When I murmured to Parker earlier that I appreciated them letting me borrow her, he simply frowned. “Jess, you know that’s always the other way around, right? You are beyond important to Luna, and she needs you in her life, just as much as you need Luna in yours.” That definitely filled me with warmth in my chest.

  “Love you.”

  “Love you too, Captain.”

  Luna gives Oscar a pointed look, and a slight nod, before stepping out of the elevator. Kai and Parker offer a smile as they follow behind her, and Roman pats my back lightly as he does too. Leaving me with Oscar.

  An awkwardness falls between us. Apart from last night, when he supported me on the way to West, we haven’t really spoken since he carried me away from Reece, sobbing with worry over what may follow. Other than that, our last real interaction was when he knocked me to the floor as he fought with Maverick before my life flipped upside down.

  I know he will protect me, and as much as he annoys the shit out of me, I miss that brotherly sort of banter we always had.

  Clearing his throat, I look over to see him nervously stuff his hands in his pockets as the elevator begins to move again.

  “I’m sorry, Jess.”

  “What on earth are—”

  “For being a dick. For making you feel like you couldn’t tell us what was going on in your life. I was the one who got overprotective, resulting in you putting a barrier between you and Luna, holding information back, and I’m sorry.”

  I’m stunned as I try to process what he’s saying. Folding my arms protectively across my chest, I look down at my feet.

  “It’s honestly not your fault, Oscar. I knew it wouldn’t end well, and I didn’t want everyone to watch me crash and burn. I’ve never really had a support system like this before, and I’m still trying to adjust to it.”

  “Can we hug it out?” The relief is evident in his eyes, knowing I’m not pointing fingers at him, and I step into his outstretched arms.

  It surprises me how gentle he is. I’m used to the rough and tumble side of him.

  “Can we have it in writing that you apologized, though? I feel like that could be worth something?” I ask, lightening the mood, and I feel his shoulders shake.

  “Don’t fucking push it, Jessikins. You are practically my sister. I will always protect you. You just might not always like it. Just ask Niamh. She hates me like ninety percent of the time.”

  I can damn well guess why too.

  The elevator doors open, and we release our hold on each other and step out into the hallway. I can feel a few sets of eyes burning into my skin as we walk by the few people standing around.

  I repeat my mantra over and over again. Fake it till you make it, just like Luna taught me. Keeping my shoulders back and head held high, I focus on one step in front of the other instead of making eye contact with anyone.

  A hush falls over the room as I step inside the class, my eyes focused solely on my chair. I’m not sure which news has circulated faster, the fact I was kidnapped and beaten or the fact I’ve been fucking two tutors and the campus playboy. But it’s likely the shit that went down with Reece is the freshest piece of gossip. I refuse to care enough to find out.

  Placing my bag at the side of my seat, I sit down, running my hands along my thighs as I take a deep breath.

  When I don’t feel Oscar take his seat beside me, I look up to him and instantly catch the guilty look on his face. What the fuck has he done? Before I can even ask, he’s giving me the answer.

  “I just want you to remember that this is me trying, okay? Sometimes you don’t always know what is best for yourself.”

  My response fa
lls flat on my tongue as he steps away from my desk, and right there behind him is Aiden.

  I hear Oscar murmur something to him, but I don’t actually listen to what he is saying. All I can hear is the sound of my heart beating, and my palms begin to sweat instantly.

  I knew I would see him, and that was causing me enough stress already, but this close, my heart screams for him. Like my mind wants to fuck with me and make sure I’m fully aware of my reality, I catch sight of Reece on the other side of the room, watching.

  Turning to face the front of the class, I clasp my hands together in my lap and try my hardest to pretend I don’t feel every movement he makes as he takes the seat beside me.

  My body is so in tune with Aiden’s, and his intoxicating scent instantly surrounds me.

  “You look really well, beautiful.” His voice sounds like heaven as he whispers, and I can’t stop my tongue from trailing against my lower lip. “I’ve missed you.”

  Fuck. I can’t do this. My heart is beating rapidly in my chest, and my body is crying out to feel his touch, but I know it’ll ruin me. He always does.

  “Maverick said you went to see West last night. He’s staying at Ace for a while, so he’s closer to the medical center for the next few days, but if you ask me, he looks like nothing ever happened,” he adds, a soft smile on his lips.

  I rub my lips together, using all my strength not to respond.

  Thankfully, he doesn’t say anything else as the tutor begins the lesson. I don’t hear a fucking word he is saying, though, which is so unlike me, but it is because all my attention is targeted on Aiden. The slightest move, the smallest brush of his knee against mine, his fingers tapping lightly on the desk.

  I’m a goner.

  It must be written all over my face, the effect he has on me because he has the balls to drop his hand to my knee. I jolt at the connection, feeling that zap of electricity between us like I did the very first time he touched me.

  Sinking my teeth into my lip, I hold back a groan. All this tension is making me dizzy. The pad of his thumb trails circles on my inner thigh, and I can’t bring myself to stop him. As much as I know I’ll hurt later, being near him just feels too good.