Soulstice (The Souled Series)

by Diana Murdock

  “A fire can be friendly?” Definitely news to me.

  He nodded. “When we have true intent and we resonate with the energy of the fire, then we can approach it without being burned.”

  Exactly what Mom had said, but I had a hard time believing I’d ever see fire the way they did. The images in my mind were still so vivid even after all this time – the flame snaking along the edge of the curtain, melting back the fabric to reveal a gaping flaw in my plan, punctuating its statement by dropping big-ass fiery exclamation marks onto the carpet. My frantic waving only fueled the fire to go faster and to get hotter, until it chased me out of my room and into my mother’s, my screams echoing off the walls.

  Shawn lightly touched my elbow, forcing me to get my head out of Illinois and back to Sandpoint.

  “Do you see how the color of the fire has changed? The pattern of the flames is different, too.”

  I nodded, doing my best to see what he did.

  “That’s how you know the fire is friendly and ready to accept our offering.” Shawn stood at the north side of the fire pit and said, “I’ll go first. You can stand behind me and hold a space like this.” His arms created a half circle to the sides and in front of him, like a protected harbor.

  Wrapping the space around him was like wrapping my arms around a giant Sequoia. The centuries-old energy that surrounded him challenged the confines of my arms and pressed against my skin. Just like the ball of energy Mom and I had held in our palms, its vibration pulsed with heavy energy, testing my strength.

  He kneeled in front of the pit and placed his death arrow in the heart of the flames. He then quickly passed his hands through the smoke and drew it toward his belly, again to his heart, to his forehead, and once more over his head, as if pouring the fire’s energy over himself.

  With his offering complete, he stood to face me. “Now you can approach from any direction.”

  I chose the west side and kneeled before the fire, with Shawn holding space behind me.

  “Thank you,” I whispered to my arrow, the holder of my secret pain, and placed it in the center of the fire with gratitude. I imagined the light of the energy within the arrow growing beyond its boundaries, wrapped in love, and releasing into the air. Just as Shawn had done, I scooped the smoke from the pit and pulled it to my stomach, my heart, my forehead, and over my head. I waited for the cleansing energy to sink in before I stood.

  In the pit, our sticks burned with such intensity I’d never seen before, as if they were gasoline-fueled. Sparks spit and the flames expanded and narrowed, not stopping until they had consumed our offering.

  Before the fire could die down completely, Shawn handed me a slightly larger stick he had chosen earlier.

  “This is the Pachamama stick. We blow blessings for the Earth into it.”

  Blessings for Mother Earth. I kicked off my sandals and pressed my bare toes to the grass, willing the vibration to connect with mine. I was now part of her healing and I would do whatever it took to help her. Pressing the Pachamama stick to my lips, I blew into the rough surface with true love and intent, and all my blessings, and then passed it onto Shawn. He closed his eyes for a moment before sharing his.

  Together we placed it into the fire.

  “Do you feel a difference in the fire now?”

  The flames waved lazily as if they had all the time in the world to burn what was left of the wood. But I tried to see beyond the obvious. I tried to see with my soul instead of my eyes.

  “The sense of urgency is gone,” I said. “I sense calmness, like there’s no more disturbance.”

  A smile tipped the corners of his lips up to mirror my own.

  I felt like the fire. I’d found my moment of calm.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  My junior year at Sandpoint High School was a welcome change of pace. The rest of the summer had slipped by like a slow-moving stream – slow enough to enjoy, but not enough to go stir crazy. I spent a lot of time on our dock, reading the books I had gotten at the estate sale and learning more about myself.

  Six months into the school year, I looked back and wondered how much longer I could have continued on in the role of the popular Alyx. Such a contrast. Since Taylor and I were no longer close friends, I completely faded from the social radar.

  As for Justin, I couldn’t compete with Taylor’s determination to go back to him day after day to get his attention and, unless I joined the wrestling team, there was no hope of winning Justin over. The longer I watched him, though, it occurred to me that my competition wasn’t Taylor after all. It was someone else he wanted. I had my suspicions about who it was, but the signs were too subtle to be certain.

  I stood at my usual spot outside the school library’s door, waiting for first period to start. Out of all the students who walked the halls, it seemed I was the only person who had changed since last year. The school was filled with the same students with the same attitudes.

  Especially Taylor. Since the first day of school, she’d been back at it with Justin. For me, being on the outside looking in, Taylor’s attempts to get Justin to talk to her were laughable. The way he side-stepped her constantly when she cut him off in the halls was, if nothing else, entertaining. That morning, though, it looked as if Taylor had taken a second look at Seth, who’d been walking beside Justin. Her expression almost… softened and she had … doe-eyes… but as Justin moved around her, not even acknowledging her, she snapped out of whatever haze she had gotten caught up in, and zeroed in on him again.

  “I’ll see you in class, okay?” Taylor spun around and called after Justin as he made his way down the hall.

  Seth didn’t seem to notice her either. But that wasn’t a surprise. Even if Taylor had ever considered going after Seth, she definitely didn’t stand a chance with him. He was in a serious long-term relationship with his girlfriend, Dani. No one could come between those two and as far as I knew, no one had ever tried.

  But something was off about everyone in Seth’s wake, because Taylor wasn’t the only girl taking second glances at him. Necks strained to keep up with his pace down the hall, eyes begged for him to make a connection, and fingers touched lips, seemingly begging to be the next one kissed.

  And he was clueless to all of it.

  I pushed off the wall where I had been standing and followed Seth and Justin, making sure to stay hidden behind other kids. There was something different about the way Seth was moving. Or maybe it was just in the way he was carrying himself. More confident maybe. Less shy. In the last two years of watching Seth and Justin, their mannerisms and expressions were etched in my mind. Seth definitely walked with the cockiness of a guy who had just scored. But it wasn’t in the way he walked that made the difference. It was in the energy he was putting off.

  And, damn, if he wasn’t magnetic. As if a cord connected us together, I walked faster to keep up. I had to get closer to see him… to touch him… to …

  I hugged my body tight to break free of whatever had taken hold of me. I ducked into the next classroom - and bumped right into Justin. Staring at an eyeful of his indifference was almost enough to forget about Seth and his strange pull. Almost.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled, looking down so he wouldn’t see the flush burning my face. I wanted to be anywhere else but where I stood. If only I could hate him. That’d make my life so much easier.

  I turned on my heel and stepped into the hallway. Checking to make sure Seth wasn’t around, I headed to my locker.

  A knife-edged coldness stabbed me in the chest and burrowed through to my back, stopping my lungs mid-breath. Adrenaline flushed my skin and sweated out my palms as I ran past Seth standing in the doorway of his classroom. There was no way I was going to make it to my locker. I turned and ran back down the hall and into the bathroom because I was close to losing everything I ate that morning. I leaned over the toilet and tried to slow down my breathing and thoughts.

  What was going on with that guy? And what the hell just happened to me? Normally I wou
ldn’t care about the other kids in this school, but when someone’s issues had such a strong effect on me, I had no choice but to care.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  The fallout of seeing Jock Boy in the hall was intense and longer-lasting than I had expected. Considering I hadn’t expected anything at all, the aftermath was over-the-top overwhelming.

  After that freaky-ass encounter, I hid in the bathroom between classes to avoid seeing him. I was seriously creeped out all day. My senses were on high alert. It was as if something watched me, sniffing me out like a blood hound. There was a seriously dark force that pulsed strong, but somehow stayed contained within Jock Boy’s body. I felt its threads winding around me, like tentacles reaching through bars. It was trapped. And it was evil.

  Feeling a bit like a coward, I bolted out of the parking lot as soon as my last class got out. By the time I drove my car safely into my garage, though, I had convinced myself I wasn’t running scared, merely staying one step ahead of something I knew nothing about.

  ~ ~ ~

  “Well, was he angry with you?” Mom closed her book and placed it on the coffee table. “Maybe his negative energy was pulling you in.”

  It seemed to take forever for Mom and Jon to get home. After giving them a chance to settle themselves in, I rehashed what happened.

  “I’ve never spoken to him,” I said. “I don’t think he knows I exist. I was just standing in the hall before my class. He didn’t even notice all the other girls practically falling over themselves.” I shook my head. “I’ve never seen anything like that before.”

  “If he wasn’t aware of the magnetism… and Alyx felt a distinct pull…” Jon looked at Mom, “I don’t know. Maybe an attachment?”

  Mom dropped her gaze to the floor as she thought, and then slowly raised it to Jon’s face. “That could very well be,” she said. “It would have to be a strong attachment in order for so many others to pick up on the vibration, though.” Her brows came together. “Highly unusual.”

  “Attachment?” I looked between the two of them. “Explain please?”

  “An attachment,” my mom said, “is an energetic body that enters an individual and disrupts his or her well-being. It feeds on the individual’s energy.”

  “Like a leech.” I shivered.

  Mom nodded. “The signs can be so subtle that the intrusion often goes unnoticed, but left unchecked, the attachment can twist the individual’s thinking and influence how he interacts with others. The host will often begin to behave just like the discarnate spirit.”

  “Seriously?” I sat in a chair across from her.

  She nodded. “Most of the time the attachment’s intentions are self-serving. Unlike our spirit guides who give to us from outside our body, an attachment takes from us from inside our body. If they’re unable to let go of this energy plane,” her arms made a sweeping gesture, indicating the space around us, “and cross the veil, they stay stuck here and oftentimes find a living, breathing extension of their residual issues. And since souls are energy, they follow the law of attraction. If we think sad thoughts, a sad soul is going to find its way in because they’re drawn to us. If we’re an addict, the drifter soul’s toxic energies will only enhance what resonates within us. It’s usually those with the most intense emotions that get caught up with an attachment.”

  “Well, there was definitely something off about him.” I hugged away the goose bumps that colonized on my arms.

  “It’d be a good idea to protect yourself,” Jon suggested to me.

  I looked at Mom. “How can I protect myself against something I can’t see?”

  “Well, there are different ways of going about it.” Her eyes took in every detail about me. “It would help to wear brighter colors.” Her hand shot up right away to silence the protest that had formed on my lips. “I said it would help. You might want to consider red lipstick to help gather some lighter energy.” She cocked her head a little and smiled. “You’d look very pretty with red lipstick. Maybe a ribbon, but that’s your decision. There are definitely other ways. Have you been centering yourself every morning?”

  I nodded. That was something I loved to do. Every morning I flipped over the bucket I placed just beyond our patio outside, exposing a small patch of winter-dead grass. The stiff, stringy blades tickled the soles of my feet when I stepped onto the only clear patch of earth. I felt very much the Summer Princess when I pressed my toes into the frozen dirt, willing the energy from below the frosty surface to melt the layers between us. In much the same way I held energy for Shawn, I would reach out to the sides then to the front of me and encouraged the residual energy from my body to pool there before I released it to the air. I would lower my hands, and with slow exhalation, the energy poured out through my fingers and into the waiting earth. I filled the waiting space with white light, pushing the borders outside my body, expanding my personal space by at least six inches. I really didn’t think that would be enough, though.

  “I’m going to need more than light protection, Mom. When I followed Seth, a weird feeling happened.” I pointed to the center of my chest. “I felt it here. Like a string or wire or something had attached us together. Like a fisherman reeling in a catch. Or maybe the other way around.”

  “How did you untangle yourself from it?” Jon asked.

  “By physically closing off. I crossed my arms across my chest and turned away. That broke the connection.”

  “Did you see Seth after that?” Mom asked.

  “No way,” I said to her. “I avoided him. I felt so out of control and sick to my stomach.” I rubbed at my chest, erasing the phantom pull. “I know the centering and white light protection helps, but I want more than that. I don’t want to take any chances.” If Jock Boy had an attachment, I wanted solid steel shields to protect my body and mind.

  Jon asked, “Do you know if he is going through anything major in his life? Something that might bring his threshold down?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know much about him. Other than he’s on the wrestling team and he’s totally in love with his girlfriend, Dani.”

  “Well. Maybe the entity is just passing through,” Jon suggested.

  “Let’s hope so.” Mom and Jon clasped hands as if to show each other comfort. “I hate to see a young person have an attachment. The teen years are confusing enough as it is,” Mom said.

  Mom and Jon looked at each other and nodded as if a silent agreement passed between them.

  “We could try a shield,” Jon said turning to me. “It’s simple, but effective. It’ll block outside influences and prevent anyone from reading your thoughts or picking up your vibrations. Basically, you’d be shut off. The problem is that even though you’d be protecting yourself, you’ll also be muting your intuition and senses.”

  “I don’t want to go through what I did today ever again, and I definitely don’t want to be its next target.”

  “That’s perfectly reasonable,” Mom agreed, “Especially now that you’ve been opening up.”

  Mom shifted to face me and took a cleansing breath, gesturing with her hands for me to do the same.

  Jon grabbed a pillow from the couch and placed it on the floor in front of Mom. “You might be more comfortable,” he whispered, gesturing to the pillow. He sat on the couch and looked to Mom for direction.

  Positioning the pillow under my knees, I looked to Mom. Jon’s encouraging nod helped me settle my mind and get focused on her instruction. Following her lead, I took three cleansing breaths. My focus went immediately to my core, right at my solar plexus, and I held it there until I felt the swell of energy expand.

  Except for the gentle flow of our practiced breaths, the room fell silent. I gave myself to the rhythm of my heart and the slight tingling over the surface of my skin.

  “To form your energy shield,” Mom explained, “visualize the surface of it as being reflective. A mirror will not absorb negative energy, but will repel it back to its place of origin. Contain your aura within the shie
ld so your emotions won’t betray you.”

  White light filled the space beneath my heart, drifted up, then slowly enclosed it in a gentle blanket of heat. Slight tingling on my neck flowed upward to touch my face and head. My entire body hummed with pure energy and spilled over my physical boundaries. I was ready to do this.

  Envisioning a one-way mirror, I muted the light within me and coated a reflective surface on the outside of my aura. My lungs tripped over the contained energy, as I breathed in my own light. I relaxed and allowed it to flow in and out, swirl around and comfort me. The boxed-in sensation gave way to a sense of free-floating. I then let go completely.

  Jon was right. My senses were muted, but not as much as I thought. I could feel my mom’s concern, or maybe it was just the way her brows tightened a little bit and the way she pressed her lips together.

  “Well?” I asked.

  My mom shook her head. “I’m not picking up anything.”

  “Then that’s great, right?” I looked to Jon, but he looked her. “Why the concerned look then?” I asked.

  “It’s not concern at all. You’re more powerful than you think you are. You put that shield up like a pro.” The creases in her brow disappeared and her mouth softened into a smile. She leaned over and squeezed my hand, her warmth leaving an imprint of confidence and pride. “To take down the shield, reverse what you just did. Go slowly at first, but with time you’ll be able to do it quickly.”

  I got up, expecting to feel as if layers of bubble wrap surrounded me, but it wasn’t like that at all. The only indication that there was something between me and the outside world was a feeling of invincibility, with a little bit of vulnerability. But as far as Jock Boy was concerned, the slight decrease in my ability to fully sense things around me was a fair tradeoff for full protection against whatever he had going on inside him. Even if it was a harmless attachment, I would be ready.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN