Summer Sisters

by Judy Blume

  “Except there are no crashing waves in New Mexico,” Vix reminded her mother. “There’s hardly any water at all.”

  “Yes, but we have mountains,” Tawny said. She didn’t sound angry, the way she usually did if Vix disagreed with her. She didn’t call her impossible or irritating or even immature.

  They ate lunch outside, overlooking the ocean, with the wind blowing their hair and the sun in Vix’s eyes. Tawny ordered fried clams and drank a beer she’d brought with her. “I can see why you like it here, Victoria,” she said. “It has a magic quality … something I haven’t felt since I first got to Santa Fe.” She let out a deep sigh. “But that was so long ago …”

  Vix could not believe how different Tawny seemed away from home.

  “Things change … things happen … things you can’t even imagine when you’re young and full of hope.” Tawny gazed out over the ocean. “I always thought I’d travel, see the world, but this …” she said, looking back at Vix and rapping her knuckles on the table, “is as far away as I’ve ever been.”

  Was this stranger swigging beer out of a bottle, this stranger who suggested they kick off their shoes and walk along at the ocean’s edge so she could say she’d not only seen the Atlantic, she’d dipped her toes in it, really her mother?

  Tawny

  ALL RIGHT, she admits it, just for a minute this afternoon, she’d envied Victoria her freedom, even her youth. She’s glad the Countess convinced her to come here. She hasn’t felt so relaxed since … she can’t remember when. The anger she carries around with her most days, that extra weight on her shoulders, has lifted since she’s been on this island. Yes, she feels more like herself. Her old self. Too bad Ed can’t see her laughing and talking as if she doesn’t have a care in the world.

  She just wishes Victoria wouldn’t look at her that way. The same way she’d looked at her mother, sizing up the situation, trying to figure out Darlene’s mood. That Abby is a lucky woman! Lamb is an attractive man, and well-to-do. How long since she’s allowed herself to feel attracted to a man other than Ed? She can’t remember that either. She’s going to fix herself up for dinner at their house tonight. She’ll wear her new white shirt, cinch her belt a little tighter, use the lipstick that came free with her sunblock. She’s still a woman. She still has feelings and desires.

  12

  THE COUNTESS addressed Lamb as Dear Boy. “Dear Boy, it’s been far too long!” she said, kissing him on the lips. He called her Charlotte. Vix had never thought of the Countess as having a regular name.

  Drinks were set up on the porch. The Countess belted down two vodka and tonics. When she lit up, Abby didn’t say a word, even though no one was allowed to smoke in the house. When she began to cough, Lamb and Abby looked concerned. But it wasn’t until the coughing racked her body, leaving her gasping, that Vix was convinced she was going to keel over and die. Abby probably thought the same thing because she jumped up and grabbed the phone, ready to dial 911. But Tawny remained calm, waving them away, administering medication to the Countess.

  After, the Countess laughed, which almost sent her into a second attack. “When my time comes, scatter my ashes in the mountains, have a drink, tell yourselves ‘She lived well … she had a few laughs.’ No religious mumbo jumbo for me, Dear Boy. Remember that. Tawny has my instructions.”

  A few minutes later the Countess decided she’d like to take a walk. But when Tawny started to get up she said, “Lamb will escort me. You stay here with Abby.” Then she beckoned to Vix. “Victoria, come with us.”

  You didn’t argue with the Countess. Vix did as she was told.

  Lamb

  A VISION POPS into his head. He’s four or five and he barges into the bathroom to get his tugboat because his nurse is going to give him a bath in the kitchen sink. He’s startled to find someone soaking in his tub, the tub where he and Dorset are usually bathed. He remembers too late he’s supposed to knock when the bathroom door is closed. Grandmother will scold him for forgetting. But the lady in the tub doesn’t mind. She’s smiling. He knows her name—Charlotte, like his favorite treat from the bakery. She takes a puff on her cigarette. Precious child … she says, and her voice is as warm and soft as his blanky. Would you like to come in with me? He takes off his underpants because you’re supposed to get naked before you get in the tub. She holds his hand as he steps over the edge and sits opposite her. He offers her his tugboat. Thank you, she says and she makes it swoosh through the water. This is what it would be like to have a real mother, he thinks, someone who likes to play in the tub. Someone with a laugh that bubbles up like the ginger ale Nurse brings him when he has a tummy ache.

  She takes a sip from the glass that’s resting on the floor. Want some? she asks. It tastes like grape juice. He knows it’s not grape juice. It’s something grownups drink. No thank you, he tells her.

  Her breasts bob up and down in the water. He reaches out to touch them, looking into her eyes for approval, wondering if she’ll slap his hands like Nurse. But no, she laughs. I have a good pair, don’t I?

  He chokes up for a minute, thinking about her. She must have been in her twenties then. A young woman with long chestnut hair pinned on top of her head. His mother’s best friend. She gave him a photo album filled with pictures of the two of them. Charlotte and Amanda. Summer friends like Caitlin and Vix. It’s a shock to think his mother would be her age now.

  OUTSIDE, the Countess lit up again, took a few puffs, then flicked the butt into the woods, where it sparked. Lamb raced after it and stomped it out before it could catch fire. “That’s a dangerous thing to do, Charlotte, especially this time of year, with everything so dry.”

  “I’ve always lived dangerously, Dear Boy.”

  “Now, Charlotte … as much as I like you, I can’t let you burn down the island. There are laws …”

  “Oh, fuck the laws … fuck the island!” She took Vix’s hand, raised it to her lips, and kissed it twice. “Remember this, Precious Child … nothing matters but the moment. There might be no tomorrow and even if there is, nobody gives a damn.”

  Vix didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. Or if she was waiting for her hand to be kissed. Vix hoped not. She was relieved when the Countess laughed and headed back to the house, where she asked for another vodka and tonic.

  This time Tawny put a hand on her arm. “Tawny is my savior,” the Countess said. “I don’t know where I’d be without her. If only she didn’t have that family. Such a burden. Such an albatross. Why anyone has children when they could have dogs is beyond me.” Sweetie raised her head and yawned as if she understood perfectly.

  Vix was miffed. Two minutes ago she’d been Precious Child, now she was a burden, an albatross around her mother’s neck.

  “You get everything from a dog you’d get from a child,” the Countess continued, “plus total acceptance, absolute gratitude. I’ve never met a grateful child, have you?”

  Abby grabbed Lamb’s hand and they smiled at each other knowingly, probably wishing they had three dogs instead of three teenagers. Where were Caitlin and Sharkey? They’d promised to be back in time for dinner.

  When Abby brought up the subject of the scholarship Vix held her breath. This is it, she thought, the Big Picture. She still wasn’t sure what the Big Picture was but Tawny had been in such a good mood all day maybe it would be okay. As she glanced up from her position on the floor she saw Tawny fiddling with a cocktail napkin, one that said, Fly First Class. Your Children Will. She folded it into quarters, then eighths, until it grew small enough to swallow. “Having her as your guest for the summer is one thing,” Tawny told Abby. “A scholarship to private school is another.”

  “Yes, but we want …” Abby began.

  “Victoria doesn’t need to go to private school,” Tawny said, cutting her off. “She can get a fine education at the high school.”

  Lamb tried to explain the Somers Foundation and how one of its programs provided scholarships to worthy students. But Tawny wasn’t listeni
ng. “Do you want to go to the Mountain Day School, Victoria?” she asked. “Is that what this is all about?”

  “It was our idea, Tawny,” Lamb said, “mine and Abby’s.”

  Abby gave Lamb a grateful look but Tawny wasn’t having any of it. “Victoria?” she said and she wasn’t a stranger anymore. She was the mother Vix knew from Santa Fe.

  “I would like to go,” Vix said.

  “Why?” Tawny asked.

  Damn! She could have come up with a million reasons if only she’d thought about it. She could have told them about Raymond Kurtis, who made ugly, sucking sounds when he passed her in the halls at school and who had bets going with his disgusting friends that one or the other of them could grab a feel or get his hand up her skirt. She could have said, To get a better education or To be best friends with the most popular girl at school.

  “We’re waiting, Victoria,” Tawny said.

  The Countess boomed, “Oh, for gawd’s sake, Tawny! Why are you making such a thing of it? Four thousand kids at one school is too damn many kids in one place if you ask me.”

  “I’ll have to discuss it with my husband,” Tawny said.

  The Countess rolled her eyes skyward and muttered, “Thank gawd I don’t have a husband.”

  13

  Summer 1980

  SOMETIMES CAITLIN acted like the one who didn’t get it. When Vix broached the subject of finding jobs Caitlin was incredulous. “A job … but why … are you bored?”

  “No, I’m not bored.”

  “Then, what?”

  “I need the money.”

  “Oh, the money.”

  Caitlin had trouble remembering not everyone had an unlimited amount to spend. Not that she was a big spender. Like Lamb, she played down the money thing. She had no idea the scholarship had caused an uproar at Vix’s house.

  “The world has changed since we were young,” Ed had told Tawny. “This will give Vix an—” He’d dropped the last word.

  “A what?” Tawny asked.

  “An edge,” her father repeated, this time so Tawny could hear the word.

  “An edge to topple over,” Tawny scoffed.

  “She deserves the chance,” Ed argued. “After that, it’s …” He’d mumbled the rest but Vix, listening intently, was sure he’d said, After that, it’s up to her.

  Yes, she thought, it would be up to her!

  She was beginning to see her father as her champion within the family. She just wished he’d be more demonstrative, more open in his love, if love was what it was about.

  Another thing Caitlin didn’t get was that friendship carried certain obligations. Otherwise she’d never have said, “Even though we’re summer sisters and always will be, I have another life at Mountain Day, a life apart from the two of us.”

  Vix felt like she’d slammed into a concrete wall. Her head throbbed with the titles of every insipid self-help article she’d ever read. “When Your Best Friend Betrays You!” “Are You a Victim of Your Circumstances?” “How to Handle Your Hurt.”

  “I’m doing you a real favor,” Caitlin said. “You understand, don’t you?”

  Understand? She’d willed herself not to cry, not to allow Caitlin to see her pain or disappointment. If Caitlin was afraid she’d cling to her at school, she didn’t have to worry. “I have another life, too,” she said, sounding as if she couldn’t have cared less.

  “I know you do,” Caitlin said. “And I’m not offended … really.”

  After that Vix had to remind herself that Caitlin could have asked any of her Mountain Day friends to spend the summer, but she didn’t, did she? Sometimes, at school, Caitlin’s behavior annoyed Vix. She’d act as if she were some other person, some person Vix didn’t even know. Then Caitlin would look at her as if to say, You and I understand this is just a game but the others think it’s for real so don’t give me away … okay?

  After a month at Mountain Day Vix got sick. A kidney infection. It burned when she peed. She had a high fever and a pain in her back. She needed antibiotics. She felt terrible, as bad as she’d felt in her entire life. Her mother blamed it on the new school. Just because it’s an expensive school doesn’t mean you don’t need paper on the toilet seat to protect yourself.

  She assured her mother she’d been careful. And the doctor swore this wasn’t something she’d caught from a toilet seat. But Tawny didn’t believe him. “Thank God your father’s job comes with health insurance,” Tawny said. “Do you know what these antibiotics cost?”

  She didn’t want to know.

  The Countess sent flowers with a card that read, Darling Child, Get well! It was signed with the names of her five dogs.

  Nathan offered Orlando. Orlando had magical powers. He would make her better. But if he didn’t and she died, he’d be really pissed. “You know what pissed means?” he asked her.

  “Yes,” she said, “I know.”

  His first taste of freedom had changed Nathan. “No more Mr. Nice Guy,” he’d announced. “Just because I’m in a chair doesn’t mean you can push me around!” His wheelchair jokes drove Tawny up the wall.

  “We never should have let you go to camp,” she told him.

  “Too late. I’ve already been.” He pressed for more freedom, for privacy, respect. He’d even shouted at Vix one night when she’d come into the bathroom without knocking. “Out … right now! Only guys allowed.”

  “Okay, sorry …” She was glad he was struggling for independence but that didn’t make living with him any easier.

  In her feverish dreams Bru came to her every day, kissing her so passionately he set her body on fire. In her dreams he didn’t speak at all, which was just as well since the one time she’d seen him all summer, as she was coming out of the Porta Potti at the Ag Fair and he was waiting his turn to go in, he’d looked right at her and said, When you gotta go, you gotta go. She’d been mortified at the idea of him knowing she’d just used the toilet and hadn’t been able to respond.

  Later, he’d come up behind her while she was lined up for the Tilt-A-Whirl. He’d tapped her shoulder and when she turned he shoved a giant panda bear at her. “Keep him warm for me … okay?”

  Then he was gone.

  Caitlin couldn’t believe it. “You are the luckiest person in the entire world!”

  She slept with her arms around the bear every night, one fuzzy leg between hers, igniting her Power.

  Since she’d fallen ill, Caitlin came to see her every day. She stood a kachina doll on the shelf above Vix’s bed. “If your medicine doesn’t ward off evil spirits, this will.” Then she sat at Vix’s bedside holding her hand. “You know what I told you before school started … about having another life at school?”

  Vix nodded.

  “Well, I never would … that is, I didn’t mean … to hurt you or anything. I would never hurt you. Never. Compared to you my school friends mean nothing to me. Less than nothing.”

  “You’re not the reason I got sick, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

  “Who said that’s what I’m thinking?”

  “You’re acting guilty, like it’s your fault.”

  “I am not!”

  “Okay … fine.” Vix rolled over in bed.

  “You really make it hard,” Caitlin said, “you know that?”

  “Make what hard?”

  “Never mind. Just forget it. I’ll come back tomorrow. Or maybe not.”

  If Vix hadn’t gotten sick, if Caitlin hadn’t felt guilty, would they be sitting together on the old glider swing now, arguing about summer jobs? Would their friendship have survived? Tawny said, You can fill a lifetime with if-onlys … or you can get on with it. In our family, we get on with it.

  “So … what kind of job did you have in mind?” Caitlin asked.

  “There’s only one thing we can do until we’re older.”

  “Please … tell me it’s not what I’m thinking!”

  Vix shrugged.

  “I don’t even like little children,” Caitlin cried. “T
hey’re so … demanding.”

  “Do me a favor. Keep that to yourself if you decide to go with me.”

  Caitlin decided to go with her. They were hired on the spot by the first person to interview them, a woman named Kitty Sagus, whose grandchild was coming for a month. As soon as she heard Caitlin was Lamb Somers’ daughter she was sold.

  On their first day on the job they discovered Kitty’s daughter and son-in-law were Famous TV Stars. They recognized him right away—Tim Castellano. And even though she was pregnant and hiding behind huge sunglasses it was obvious she was Loren D’Aubergine.

  Vix knew she was supposed to act cool, as if she didn’t notice they looked familiar, because, after all, this was the Vineyard and plenty of celebrities came here to get away from it all.

  Right away The Stars announced that Max wasn’t toilet trained. “You mean he’s still in diapers … at three?” Caitlin asked, in her I-cannot-believe-this tone.

  Max looked up at her with huge baby eyes. “I like diapers.”

  You could tell Tim and Loren were embarrassed. Loren blushed and said, “If you can get him to use the potty, there’s a bonus in it for you.”

  “A bonus?” Vix asked.

  “Yes, a handsome cash bonus,” Tim explained.

  “So long as you don’t threaten him or make him feel guilty,” Loren said. “We don’t want his toilet training to be traumatic in any way. It’s very important that it be his decision.”

  “I get M&M’s if I go potty,” Max said, crashing his dump truck into his excavator. “Three for a pee, five for a poop. Yellows and reds are my favorites.”

  One morning during their second week of work, Tim accompanied them to the beach. At first Vix thought he was checking up on them, not that she minded. The idea of being seen with Tim Castellano was pretty exciting, even though he wore a baseball hat and dark glasses to keep people from recognizing him. And maybe he did look like just another guy with his family at the beach because no one stared or paid extra attention.