Once Upon a Castle

by Nora Roberts

  How safe she felt here in his arms. How right.

  She glanced up at him and saw that he wasn’t smiling now. As he looked down at her, the look on his face was so fierce, so intense, she felt her breath catch in her throat.

  “What is it, Gareth? What’s wrong?”

  “I must leave you soon.”

  “Leave? But why? Why now, when I know who is causing all the evil at Falcon’s Lair? It’s only a matter of time until I find a way to stop them. And what about us, Gareth? We’ve only just discovered each other.”

  “Oh, my sweet Felicity. How the gods must laugh at their creations. We mortals are such foolish creatures.” The look on his face grew pensive. “I wish…”

  “What?” she demanded. “What do you wish?”

  He shook his head. “I was thinking that, just for tonight, I would give anything if…”

  When his words trailed off, she clutched at him, desperate to know his thoughts. “If what?”

  His voice was rough with feeling. “If only you could go back in time. Or if I could go forward. But it’s impossible. The dice were tossed long before either of us was born.”

  She sighed and drew her arms around his waist, pressing her lips to his throat. “But we have now. We have this time. Isn’t it enough?”

  He held her at a little distance, wondering if he should tell her that each time he allowed himself to touch her, he lost a little more of himself, a little more of his power.

  “Do you know how desperately I want you?” he whispered.

  Felicity’s heart nearly stopped. Never before had she wanted to be with a man. She’d never even been tempted. But with Gareth everything was different. With this man she had no rules, no guidelines. The mere touch of him left her trembling, wanting things—wanting them, yet fearing them. But, despite her fear, she found herself speaking boldly.

  Her voice trembled, as did her body. “Is it possible?”

  “What are you saying?” He couldn’t hide his astonishment. “Would you let me love you? Truly love you, as a man loves a woman?”

  Slowly, shyly, she nodded.

  He cupped her face in his big hands and stared deeply into her eyes. His lips brushed her mouth, his breath mingling with hers as he murmured, “Oh, my little happy face. With love anything is possible.”

  7

  They stood apart, not touching. Yet as soon as Felicity closed her eyes, she could feel Gareth lifting her in his arms. In quick strides he crossed the brick paving and halted in a circular stand of trees that bordered the gardens. Setting her on her feet, he tossed his cloak to the ground. She opened her eyes. He seemed to be several paces away, yet that was impossible, for in that instant she was crushed roughly against him, her mouth savaged with kisses until she was breathless.

  She sensed the change in him, an urgency and a barely controlled tension. Was this anger? she wondered. Or a darker side of passion she didn’t understand?

  “Wait. I…” She took a step back.

  As if regretting his earlier lapse, his touch gentled. When she closed her eyes, he kissed her again, lingering over her lips. His voice, when at last he spoke, was rough. “There is still time to change your mind, Felicity. I’ll understand if you walk away. I won’t hold you.” A lie, he knew. He would beg, even crawl, to have her. But he would not hold her against her will. He was determined to fight the needs that cried for release, if she but said a single word of refusal.

  She took a deep breath. “I won’t go, Gareth.” Standing on tiptoe, she pressed a kiss to his lips. “I can’t. I’ve tried to deny what I feel. But I know now that we were fated to meet and to love. Oh, Gareth, hold me. Love me.”

  The shimmering haze of heat seemed to envelop them until she was blinded by it. They came together in a blaze of passion, mouth meeting mouth, bodies pressed so closely together that each could feel the wildly beating pulse of the other.

  He brushed soft, nibbling kisses across her forehead, her eyelids, her cheek, the tip of her nose. With each gentle touch, she gave herself up to his ministrations and relaxed in his arms. His mouth moved over hers, and her lips parted for him, allowing his tongue to tangle with hers.

  “Soft,” he murmured. “You’re so soft. I’d nearly forgotten…”

  His lips traced her jaw, across her cheek to her ear, where he tugged on her lobe before darting his tongue inside, causing her heart to beat faster still. All the while his hands moved over her, igniting little fires of their own.

  His hands closed around her waist, and he lifted her effortlessly off her feet. Suddenly reminded of another time he’d caught and held her like this, the touch of his lips stilled on hers. He lifted his head, and his eyes narrowed in furious remembrance. “When I think of what almost happened on the stairs…”

  “Hush, Gareth. We won’t think about it now, love.” She touched a finger to his lips.

  Love. At her unexpected endearment, he caught her hand and pressed a kiss to the palm. “Aye, we’ll not speak. I’ll show you without words how I love you.”

  How I love you. His words brought a rush of feeling unlike anything she’d ever known. He loved her. The truth was, she loved him too. Desperately.

  With exquisite tenderness he brought his lips to her throat and ran hot, moist kisses across her shoulder, then lower, to her collarbone, then lower still, until he encountered the swell of her breast. The bodice of her gown grew wet with his kisses until, consumed with heat, they dropped to their knees in the damp grass. But nothing would cool the blazing heat between them.

  “God in heaven, Felicity. What have you done to me?” He caught her hand and placed it over his heart. It was beating as wildly as her own.

  The darkened sky was awash with millions of twinkling diamonds. The high, clear notes of a muted violin were carried on the breeze. The air was perfumed with the first blooms of early spring blossoms, though a day before there had been only a hint of buds. It was as though the whole world had burst into bloom because of their feelings for each other.

  With great care he undressed her, watching as the silk gown fell away, revealing a delicate chemise. His fingers were strong and sure as he reached for the ribbons, and then it, too, was discarded.

  “Oh, my love, how beautiful you are.” His fingers skimmed her skin, and he watched as her eyes darkened with passion before he bent his head to taste her.

  That first glimpse on the night she’d arrived at Falcon’s Lair hadn’t prepared him for this. She was the most perfect creature he’d ever seen. With mouth and fingertips he began to explore, lingering over her mouth, her jaw, the sensitive hollow between her neck and shoulder.

  He was leading her to new places where she had never been. But though she felt shy and awkward and would have resisted any other, she knew she could trust Gareth. She gave herself up to the pleasure as she sighed and moved in his arms.

  His lips and fingertips moved lower. He felt her body grow tense, her breathing shallow. He wouldn’t allow himself to think about tomorrow and the price that would be exacted for this thing they shared. Nor would he dwell on all the centuries of loneliness and pain that he had endured. For now, there was no past or future. There was only now, this moment. He would think only about the pleasure he could give this woman in his arms, for it was his only gift to her. He prayed it would be enough to last for all the tomorrows they would be denied.

  As her blood heated and her body pulsed, Felicity experienced needs she’d never even known existed. This, then, was why she’d been born. For this man. This moment. Nothing else mattered.

  She needed to touch him as he was touching her. With quick, hurried movements she slid his shirt from his shoulders and bent to him, brushing her lips across his chest. She heard his little gasp of surprise and thrilled to it. It excited her to please him as he was pleasing her. Drunk with power, she reached for the fasteners at his waist. When her fingers fumbled, he closed his hands over hers, helping her, until his clothes lay discarded alongside hers.

  He was magn
ificent. Muscles rippled along his chest and arms. He had the contoured body of a warrior. She traced a finger over the flat planes of his stomach and was rewarded by his sudden intake of breath.

  Desire smoldered in his eyes as he pulled her against him and devoured her mouth with his. All the while his fingers worked their magic, until her body was a mass of nerve endings.

  How could he be otherworldly, when his heart beat the same as hers? When his body fit so perfectly to hers? When his hands, his lips, could weave such magic?

  This was no ghost, she told herself. He was a man, and he was hers.

  Ensnared by her newly awakened passion, she felt her hands clutching the cloak beneath her as she reached the first unexpected crest. It rippled through her, leaving her gasping.

  He saw the way her eyes widened, then darkened with desire.

  “Please, Gareth. Now. I want you now.”

  Instead, his hands tangled in her hair, and he savaged her mouth with bruising kisses. All the tenderness, the gentleness, the patience he’d demonstrated earlier were gone. In their place was a primitive darkness, a relentlessness, that left her stunned.

  So this was why he’d resisted. This was why he’d tried to warn her.

  Instead of being afraid, she found this dark side of passion deeply arousing, secretly exciting. Following his lead, she began, with lips and tongue and fingertips, to explore him as he had explored her.

  Gareth’s body hummed with need, but still he held back. There was so much more he wanted to give her, to show her, and he knew that after tonight it would be too late.

  He feasted on her breasts, nibbling, suckling, until she moaned with pleasure. But though she arched toward him, he refused to offer her the release she sought. Instead, he brought his lips lower, drawing out every sensual pleasure.

  A breeze rippled through the branches of the trees, but it couldn’t cool their overheated flesh. The heat rose between them, shimmering like a cloud, filming their bodies with a fine sheen.

  Felicity was beyond thought now. There was only Gareth and the pleasure he could bring. A pleasure that was close to pain.

  She writhed and trembled as he slid along her body. He took her higher, then higher still, keeping release just out of reach.

  Her hands clutched at him as she felt herself reaching another peak. He gave her no time to catch her breath as he brought his lips back to hers. She cried out his name as he entered her.

  Her body sensitized, completely aroused, she wrapped herself around him as he began a slow descent into madness. He filled himself with the taste of her, the fresh, clean scent that would always be her. And he knew that for an eternity to come, he would hold this memory of paradise in his heart and be warmed by it.

  The need for release clawed at him until he felt himself exploding. The madness was complete. He no longer existed, and neither did she. Now they were one. Joined. Forever changed.

  Then she soared with him, climbing to some distant place just out of reach. Their bodies trembled and shuddered. They reached the bright distant star together and shattered into a million blinding pieces.

  “God in heaven, what have we done?” They lay, still joined. Gareth’s cheek rested against hers. He could feel the warmth of her tears. Could taste the salt on his lips. His heart forgot to beat. “I knew you were a maiden. A virgin. And I took you like some”

  She put a hand over his mouth to still his words. “You said in life we all make choices. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a grown woman, able to make my own decisions. This was my choice.”

  “But now those tears tell me you regret that choice.”

  She shook her head. “They’re happy tears. I’ve never known anything quite so…stunning.”

  His fears dissipated. His heart began to beat once more. “Truly, my little happy face? You have no regrets?”

  “None.”

  With a deep sigh of relief he rolled to one side, drawing her firmly into the circle of his arms and wrapping them both in his cloak.

  It felt so good here. So right. She reached a finger to his mouth and traced the outline of his strong lower lip, laughing when he caught it lightly between his teeth and nipped.

  Suddenly avoiding his eyes, she ran her fingers through the hair on his chest. “How is it that I can taste you, feel you, experience all that I did just now, if you are…what you say you are?”

  He put his hand beneath her chin and forced her to look at him. His words were spoken with a rare gentleness, though his eyes remained solemn. “Don’t question the fates, love. Just be grateful for the miracle. Savor it, for all too soon a price will be named. And we will have to pay.”

  “Oh, Gareth.” She closed her eyes against the pain and drew his head down for a long, lingering kiss.

  Hearing his little moan of pleasure, she thrilled to her newly discovered power. Even now she could feel the passion rise in him again, could feel the strain of his muscles as he dragged her almost savagely against him. Her man. Her love. The knowledge made her heart soar. “I don’t care about the price. I’ll gladly pay, as long as we have this night.”

  “Then let’s not waste a minute of it,” he murmured against her throat as he took her again.

  The light of dawn streaked the eastern sky. A chorus of birds sang in the nearby gardens. The sharp tang of meat roasting, and the sweeter scent of bread baking, attested to the cook’s diligence. A light in the scullery windows signaled the beginning of a new day for the servants.

  Still Gareth and Felicity lay in their secret bower, sheltered from view, locked in a fierce embrace.

  All night they had loved, then slept, only to awaken and love again. Their lovemaking was by turns tender then savage. At times they lay calm and cozy as old lovers. At other times, sensing that their time together was all too brief, they came together in a wild frenzy, until, sated, they would doze once more.

  Now, with morning upon them, there was no more time to waste. Every moment was precious to them. There was still so much to say, so much that each wanted to tell the other.

  “Why did you let me see you, when you kept yourself hidden from everyone else?”

  Gareth smiled at her question. “You’re a beautiful woman. Isn’t that enough?”

  She shook her head. “You’re keeping something from me. What is it?”

  He caught a strand of her hair and, avoiding her eyes, watched it sift through his fingers. “You looked like another.”

  “Cara. Did she have red hair?” The words escaped her lips before she could stop them.

  She saw the sudden clenching of his jaw before he nodded. “Aye. And green eyes. But it was more than the physical resemblance. There’s a goodness in you, love, that was so like her.” He caught her by the shoulder and stared deeply into her eyes. “Love, true love, is never only physical. Love is the mating of one soul to another. And it was your soul that touched mine.”

  His words warmed her, yet she was surprised to feel only a faint pulse of heat at his touch. Alarmed, she sat up and brushed his lips with hers. The heat grew, and she sighed with satisfaction.

  “You once said that you stay here at Falcon’s Lair because there is something you haven’t done. What is it, Gareth?”

  She felt him begin to withdraw from her. Laying a hand on his arm, she said, “If you share it with me, maybe I can help you.”

  He shook his head. “No one can help me, love. The choices I made were my own. They in turn led to my fate. I must live an eternity knowing I cannot save the ones I most love. And the hell of it is, I must spend that eternity alone, without heirs, because I chose honor over love.”

  “I made a choice last night.” She wound her arms around his neck and offered her lips to him. “What will be my fate?”

  Instead of kissing her, he touched a finger to her mouth in the gentlest of caresses. His eyes wore the same haunted look she’d seen that first night, crossing the moors. “You wear your heart on your sleeve, little happy face. But that heart is destined to be pierc
ed by a sword.”

  She caught her breath at the pain. He dipped his head and brushed his lips over hers. She waited for the heat, but none came. Instead, the man beside her began to blur and fade.

  She felt a piercing wave of panic. “Don’t leave me. Hold me, Gareth. I’m so afraid.”

  “Close your eyes, love, and hold tightly to me.”

  She did as she was told. She heard a sound like rushing wind, and the trees overhead dipped and sighed. Then a strange silence settled over the land.

  Thoroughly chilled, Felicity opened her eyes. She was alone, kneeling in the dew-dampened grass. She was wearing the gown she’d worn the night before, thoroughly wrinkled and thoroughly soaked.

  Was it possible that she’d fallen asleep, that all of this had been nothing more than a dream?

  It was no dream. Gareth had been here with her. He’d touched her. Loved her. The things she’d experienced had been beyond her imagination. Weren’t they?

  And yet…and yet she could still feel the imprint of those strong fingers tingling along her body. And those lips. Had they brushed hers? She pressed a finger to her mouth. It wasn’t just her imagination. Was it?

  Sweet heaven. What was happening to her? Could the sane, sensible daughter of Robert Andrews really believe she’d been loved by a ghost?

  In the morning silence she looked up to see a falcon passing overhead as swiftly and as soundlessly as a shadow. At the sight of it her heart soared.

  Then she glanced at the grass beside her. It still bore the imprint of a man’s body. She touched it. It was still warm.

  Tears sprang to her eyes. Logic be damned. All that mattered was that she loved and was loved by Gareth, the first Lord of Falcon’s Lair.

  8

  Felicity rubbed her fists over her tired eyes, hoping to ease the strain. All day she had remained in her room, poring over her father’s notes, hoping to uncover the source of Ian’s drugs. After the public display Ian and Honora had made of their affection for one another at the ball, she felt a sense of urgency. Besides, another visit to Lord Falcon and William had confirmed her worst fears. The conspirators had grown bolder. Both William and his father had been given much stronger doses and had fallen into a deep sleep. If she did not find a way to save them soon, it would be too late.