Vince: One Night with a Marine: A Second Chance Military Romance (Anchor Me Book 2)

by Lisa Carlisle

  She stepped back. “That’s not the end of it, though.” She released a mirthless laugh. “I married a guy who cheated on me. He got another woman pregnant, someone who was also married. Two more marriages destroyed. And then they lost the baby. So much pain for everyone involved.” She blew out a rough breath. “But she got pregnant again and they got married. He texted me yesterday to let me know they had their baby on Christmas morning.” She scowled. “How sweet. He gets a reward for being a shitty husband who violated all our vows.” Her tone was rough with bitterness. “And me? What do I get?” She pointed between them. “This.” Her eyes blazed with shiny tears. “I fall for a guy who doesn’t want me. What a fuckin’ idiot I am to think this would be different.” She shook her head. “I’ve had enough.”

  She’d fallen for him too? With the way she glared at him with both fiery anger and gut-wrenching anguish, it was hard to believe. But he did want her—so fuckin’ much it hurt.

  His resolve melted. All he wanted to do was sweep away every stupid thing he’d said tonight and just take her in his arms, hold her and kiss her and not let her go until he had to.

  “Emma,” he began, not sure where to even go from there.

  She released a shaky exhale and raised her hand, palm facing him. “Enough.”

  Her sharp tone snapped some sense into him. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.

  Emma sucked in a jerky breath, turned, and strode down the dock. Vince stepped toward her, her name on his lips to call her. The overwhelming urge to run to her and take it all back made his feet itch. He clenched his fists and forced himself to stop.

  It was better that he let her go.

  He stared at her retreating figure fighting the compulsion to follow until she disappeared into the darkness. And still, the longing remained.

  Emma

  How had Emma let this happen?

  She broke into a power walk to get away from Vince before she crumbled. Her jaw clenched, muscles pounded with rage, and veins pumped with fury. Her heart was shredding, but no way would she let him see her cry.

  Only once she was certain that he was out of view did she turn and face the harbor. She let the hot tears rain down.

  Oh, she was such a damn fool! She should have listened to the voice in the beginning that warned her not to get involved with Vince. How had she managed to put on rose-colored glasses when gazing at Vince, distorting the ugliness of reality? Relationships like this didn’t work. They crashed and crushed.

  For several minutes, she let the tears flow, swimming in an ocean of remorse. The snow had picked up while she stewed in the shit storm that was her life.

  Wait, she couldn’t keep beating herself up over things she couldn’t change. What she could change was her reaction to them. She took deep breaths to calm her racing heartbeat and stared at the falling snowflakes. She’d get through this.

  If the saying of what didn’t kill you made you stronger had any validity, she was Xena the Warrior Princess by now.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Vince

  Vince took the beer from Angelo and took a swig from the bottle. The icy coldness rolled over his tongue. “Hits the spot.”

  “Gotta get them while you can,” Angelo said.

  “True.” Having a Narragansett Lager beer while deployed would be as elusive as spotting a yeti.

  Angelo sat at the other end of the sofa in his living room. Vince had borrowed his father’s car to visit, needing an excuse to get away from Newport. He was too close to Emma there and the feelings after that epic disaster were still too raw.

  Angelo flipped through the options on Netflix.

  “Right there,” Vince noted when he spotted Arrested Development.

  “Ah, yes. Matty still greets me with ‘Hey brother,’” Angelo said in the way Buster referred to his brothers in the show.

  Vince snorted in acknowledgment. “Same here. Too bad he couldn’t make it this Christmas.”

  “Right. Don’t make me miss the pain in the ass.” Angelo grinned.

  “Unfortunately, he’s probably going to have a shitty New Year’s Eve as well.”

  “Not Matty. He’ll find a way to make the best of it.” Angelo took a sip of his beer.

  “True,” Vince agreed. Matty always had a mischievous smile to go with the joke on his lips.

  Angelo raised his chin to Vince. “What are your plans? Going out with Emma?”

  Vince flinched on hearing her name. He attempted to cover it up by taking a gulp of beer. A long gulp.

  “Ah, I knew something was up,” Angelo added. “Ma has been pestering me to find out. She said you were even quieter and more reclusive than usual last night and this morning. And that’s saying something when it comes to you.”

  A bitter aftertaste coated Vince’s tongue, which had nothing to do with the beer. After he had left Emma yesterday, he’d walked and walked until the cold night air drove him home. Still, his mind looped in circles with questions over what the fuck had just happened, so he isolated himself in his room. He thought about what she’d said about her father and what she’d just learned from her ex. Since he was fucked up himself after seeing the pictures of O’Brien’s family, his timing to try to talk to her couldn’t have been worse. All their raw emotions collided in a perfect storm of past wounds and current baggage that spiraled like an uncontrollable force in a turbulent sky.

  Vince groaned and exhaled through clenched teeth. “It’s over.”

  Angelo stared at him. “What happened?”

  Vince rose. He couldn’t sit there on Angelo’s couch while he eyed him in that elder brother way, assessing whether Vince had fucked up.

  Because that was the rock-solid truth.

  Vince paced across the living room and paused in front of a bookshelf. The top two shelves were filled with medical and science books, but on the lower shelves were plenty of mysteries, thrillers, and even a few romances. His eyes fixed on a wedding picture from Angelo and Catherine’s wedding. His parents stood on either side of the bride and groom and then he and Matty stood by like bookends in their matching penguin suits. Back when Angelo said he was getting married, Vince thought he was nuts, but marriage and civilian life seemed to suit Angelo. He was happy.

  But that was the critical difference—Angelo was a civilian now. Vince had no intentions of leaving the Marines.

  “We were having a good time while I was on leave, that was all.”

  Angelo hmphed. “Don’t bullshit me. I know that tone.”

  Vince groaned. That was the problem with talking to Angelo, someone who could read him far too well. “Fine.” Vince huffed. “I blew it.”

  “How?”

  Vince’s one-shoulder shrug was taut with tension. “I’d sent O’Brien’s family Christmas gifts. His wife sent me an email to thank me. When I saw the picture of them—the family with their first Christmas without O’Brien. I don’t know—it hit me right here.” He tapped his chest.

  Angelo’s expression tightened to a near wince. “Shit. That’s rough.”

  Vince rubbed his temples. “After that, all this shit started to unravel in my head. What Emma and I were doing. Whether we could even have a future.” He scowled. “When I tried talking about it, I didn’t do it well. My thoughts fell out as chaotic as what was in my brain, and I pushed her away. It went FUBAR fast. Like grenade launcher fast with a similar outcome—fuckin’ disastrous explosion.”

  Angelo grunted. “In other words, you were chicken-shit and retreated to somewhere you thought was safer.”

  Vince grunted. His brother didn’t mince his words and in a strange way it was what he needed to hear. “Maybe.”

  Angelo leaned forward. “Listen, I get it. We’ve all lost people and it sucks. It fuckin’ rips you up inside. I’ve been there. It will continue to do so if you let it.”

  “What do you do?” Vince noted pain etched on Angelo’s face. Before he’d left the SEALs, Angelo had admitted that seeing his buddy die and being unable to save
him had messed him up. It had made him reevaluate his life and had contributed to his decision to leave the Navy, starting a new life with Catherine in Providence.

  “It’s not easy. Survivor’s guilt might always be a part of you, like a shadow. Brooding doesn’t change what happened or bring them back. You have to find the reasons that keep you going—just like O’Brien’s family is doing. They’re doing their best to continue their lives. This might be the worst Christmas ever, but they’re still carrying on. That’s what O’Brien would have wanted for them.” Angelo leaned back and fixed his gaze on Vince. “And for you.”

  Vince rubbed his jaw. “Knowing doesn’t make it any easier to accept.” He peeled a corner of the label from the bottle. “I just want to numb myself and not think. Maybe drink until I find peace with oblivion.”

  “Nope.” Angelo gave a resolute nod. “That never happens. It just makes things a thousand times worse.”

  Vince threw a hand up. “Well, what do you suggest?”

  Angelo glanced around. “Let’s get you out of here and get you some fresh air to start.” He stood. “I have tomorrow off. How about we go to the mountains? Get some skiing in?”

  That had been something their entire family would do during winter breaks growing up. “It’s been a long time since I’ve gone downhill skiing. I don’t know if I’ll even remember how.”

  “You will. I picked it up again once I moved here. Just take a lesson in the morning to get the right form and you’ll be good to go.”

  Vince stared at Angelo. It wasn’t a bad idea. Maybe it would give him a break from the looping thoughts in his head. “Yeah, all right.”

  Emma

  After a fitful night of sleep, Emma woke to her phone ringing. It was Karine.

  “Hello?” Emma’s voice croaked.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” She rubbed her hand through her hair. “No.”

  “What happened?”

  Emma sighed. “You have a minute?” She added, “A long minute.”

  An hour later, Emma entered Karine’s shop. The chimes on the door announced her arrival. The scent of soup and baked goods wrapped around her. Her stomach growled in response, yet she still had no appetite.

  Karine came out of the back room, her white apron smeared with colors like a Picasso painting. She had a dusting of flour across her jawline.

  Emma forced a smile. “Looks like you’re getting ready for an art show.” She pointed at Karine’s apron.

  Karine waved her hand in a dismissive motion. “I had a little snafu back there.” She leaned her head back and sighed. “Thanks for helping out today and tomorrow. I know not most people want to work on New Year’s Eve. One of my girls called in ‘sick.’” Karine punctuated the doubts of her employee’s illness with air quotes. “She’ll probably have this ‘illness’ until the new year starts.”

  Emma shrugged. “Sure, why not? I’m happy to help. It’s not like I have any plans tomorrow night.”

  “Might as well make some money.” Karine rubbed her fingers together. “It would’ve been nice to celebrate our first New Year’s together as a family, but I couldn’t turn down this gig. New Year’s Eve prices are some of my best.”

  “And it’s not like Laura will know one date from the next. She won’t be missing anything. You’ll be spending time with her on New Year’s Day.”

  “That’s the plan. Although mama guilt finds a way to sneak up on me no matter what.”

  “It shouldn’t. You’re a great mom. And look, you’re running your own successful business. One day Laura will grow up and look up to you—and appreciate all you’ve done for her.”

  “Thanks.” Karine grinned. “I’m guessing it’s not going to be during the teenage years.”

  “Oh no.” Emma spread her hands to the side. “That’s when you’ll be her worst enemy.”

  They laughed and went back into the kitchen area. Karine pointed to one of the massive soup pots. “Feel free to have a bite before you get started. Maybe a cup of Italian wedding soup?”

  Italian wedding. Emma grimaced. Those two words reminded her of the summer when she’d met a hot Italian Marine at a wedding. Since she’d walked into the shop, Emma had been grateful for Karine avoiding the elephant-in-the-room talk with the aftermath of what had happened with Vince. When Karine had called to see if Emma wanted to pick up the New Year’s gig, she had given her the condensed version from Peter’s text all the way through her storming away from Vince.

  And then she remembered Vince use a similar mention—he’d joked about an elephant in the backseat when she was driving him to the high school.

  Damn, hopefully soon she’d get to a time without things reminding her of him.

  Emma forced a smile. “Smells great, but I’m not that hungry.”

  “When’s the last time you ate?” Karine asked with a worried mom expression.

  Emma shrugged. “I’ll eat after we get some stuff done. What can I do to start?”

  Karine pointed out dozens of cupcakes in various states of frosting and nakedness. “You can frost the rest of the cupcakes.” She offered Emma pink frosted one. “A little sugar to get you going.”

  Emma stared at the cupcake and recoiled. She tried to cover it up with a shake of her head. Sure, Karine was trying to take care of her and cheer her up, but the cupcake was yet another reminder. The whole flirtation over the fallen cupcakes at Vince’s brother’s wedding.

  “Emma?”

  “What?”

  “I offered you a cupcake, and you looked like I handed you a knife for self-sacrifice.”

  Emma shook her head. “Sorry. I’m happy to frost them. I’m just—bleh. You know?”

  “I know,” Karine replied. “You’ll get over this.”

  Emma gave a dismissive wave. “It’s for the better.”

  “Maybe,” Karine conceded. “But you might be looking at things too black and white when it’s really various shades of gray.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Karine picked up a spoon and stirred the contents of her mixing bowl with vigor. “You never really gave this a chance. You swore off any man in the military as if they’re all the same. But that’s not true. Are you the same as all the women you served with?”

  “No, but…” Emma straightened. Karine had some truth in that insight. “Still, you know what they say about fool me once, and fool me twice. Well, if I allow myself to be fooled three damn times, then I deserve all the misery I get.”

  Karine scoffed at that with a doubtful sound. “Don’t let some old saying affect you. That’s all it is—words.”

  Emma exhaled with a whoosh. “If I don’t learn from experience, then I’m a sucker asking for more misery.”

  Karine tilted her head and gave Emma a sage look. “All right, I can see why you’d go there. Not that I necessarily agree with it.”

  “Why not?”

  “If you go into a relationship expecting to be hurt, you’re bound to find a reason to prove that.”

  Emma adjusted her stance. There could be a kernel of truth in Karine’s words.

  “It sounds like you’re using your past as a crutch to keep you from finding happiness in your future.” Karine arched her brows. “And the present.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Vince

  Vince stared at the scenery as he ascended on the chairlift with Angelo. On the initial rides up the chairlift, they’d tried to identify wildlife tracks or types of trees. As the day went on, their conversations had turned deeper. They’d touched on life, family, the military, goals. That was one of the things Vince remembered about days on the mountains. The cool mountain air and vast blue sky without any obstructions from buildings provided some clarity. Maybe some distance would give him a bit more perspective about Emma.

  “I’ve been trying to let this thing with Emma go, so I can go on with my life,” he admitted on their final ride before the lifts shut down.

  “But—” Angelo prodded. “I hear the do
ubts in your voice.”

  “Exactly.” Vince swung his skies a few inches in each direction. “I don’t know if that’s what I want anymore.” He glanced at Angelo. “Look at you. You walked away from everything and started over. How did you know that’s what you wanted?”

  “I had my reasons. I felt the toll and knew it would start to affect my work. I wouldn’t be helping anyone if I couldn’t do my job properly. It was time to leave.”

  Angelo faced ahead, and it was difficult for Vince to read his expression with the helmet and goggles, but he could hear Angelo’s introspective tone.

  “Any regrets about leaving the SEALs?”

  “None. I lucked out to be with an amazing woman who I’m building a new life with.” After a few seconds, Angelo added, “But, that was me. We might be brothers, but we’re different. Always have been. Different dreams, different goals. It doesn’t matter what I’ve done. You need to figure out what you want.”

  Vince stared at the mountain peak ahead. The late afternoon had dipped lower in the bluebird sky in the distance.

  “That’s the problem. Once I was so sure about everything. I’d serve my twenty years—single—and then when I was ready to retire from the Marines, that’s when I’d finally think about settling down. I mean I’d still be fairly young then—late thirties.”

  “And now?”

  “There are doubts.”

  “Like what?”

  “That keeping everyone at arm’s length and putting one part of my life on hold isn’t the right way after all.”

  “Everyone?” Angelo’s voice lifted in question.

  “Okay, one person in particular.”

  “Hmm…”

  “Fine, Emma,” Vince added.

  “Now we’re getting somewhere. The way I’m seeing it as an outsider is that you were both happy together. By trying to keep yourselves from being hurt, you’ve made yourselves miserable.”