“Good idea,” said Gavin.
I laid my hand on his arm. “Wait. What are you doing today?”
Ramsey looked at Gavin, then at me. “Nothing.”
“I need to go to Hampton Court, will you come with me?”
“I said I would set that up.”
“Uncle Gavin, I need to go. I need to talk to the hamadryad. And Anali isn’t feeling well enough to go yet.”
“Well, why don’t you go with the others?” Gavin asked.
I crossed my arms. “Kayin could come with us, but I’m still not talking to the others.”
“Why?” Gavin asked frowning.
“He’s the only one who’s tried to talk to me.”
“Maybe you should talk to them first.”
I glared at Gavin. “No. I didn’t start the argument. Not one of you asked me nicely or tried to understand. They will have to come to me.” I turned to Ramsey. “So Hampton Court?”
“Sure, sounds like fun.”
“Not just the two of you,” Gavin said.
I rolled my eyes but texted Kayin and Shin. “There. I asked Kayin and Shin if they want to go. Gavin, do you know where Miu is?”
“Yes, she called to let me know you were missing when she got to the gym this morning,” Gavin answered.
“Okay.” I stood up and held out my hand to Ramsey. “Come on up to my room. I need to change and grab my stuff.”
Ramsey slid his yoga bag over his head, took my hand, but kept his eyes on Gavin.
Gavin stood and followed us to the elevator. “I’m not sure about this.”
“Gavin, he can sit on the couch and I’ll change in the bathroom.” My phone chimed. “They can both come. They just got done working out and will meet us for breakfast. How’s Anali?”
“Okay. She woke up earlier and was sick but kept down some crackers and tea and went back to sleep. I was planning a trip to Hampton Court.”
“We can go again, but I know I have to talk to the hamadryad,” I said.
“I’m sorry,” Gavin said.
“It’s fine. Anali needs you right now.” Why did we have to keep going over this?
“I can be here for you and Anali at the same time,” Gavin snapped.
I opened the door to my room, and Ramsey darted inside.
“Uncle Gavin, I’m not questioning that.”
“It seems like you are.”
“I can feel that I need to go now. I know it needs to be now. I’m not upset, or angry, or anything.”
Gavin sighed and looked at the door. “Don’t let him pressure you into anything. Boys can be very persuasive, so make sure he’s not pushing you into anything you don’t want or aren’t ready for.”
“I won’t, and he’s not like that anyway. I’ll tell you everything when we get back.” I went into my room and shut the door.
Ramsey looked relaxed lounging in a chair but I felt his tension. “So,” he said.
I rolled my eyes. “You heard everything.”
“Yes.”
“So blunt or embarrassed silence, which do you want?”
His brow furrowed. “Blunt?”
“I’m not ready to have sex. Is that a deal breaker for you?”
He blinked. “I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so calm and casual when talking about sex.”
“My mom said that if you aren’t capable of talking about sex and birth control with someone, then you aren’t ready to have sex with them.”
“How old were you when your mum died?”
“Five.”
“And she told you that and you remembered it?” Ramsey squeaked.
I chuckled. “No, sorry. According to Gavin, my mom panicked while pregnant, worrying she wouldn’t be a good mom. She started a journal with her favorite quotes and what she’d learned from them. So you didn’t answer me. Is the fact I’m not ready to have sex a deal breaker?”
Ramsey stood up. “No, I don’t … I’m not …”
I raised an eyebrow.
He groaned. “What Courtney said about having sex and ditching you, that’s not who I am.”
“I know that. I wouldn’t be with you at all if you were a slime-ball.”
Ramsey ran the back of his fingers along my cheek. “Is it okay if I try to seduce you?”
I blushed. “As long as you act like a gentleman.”
He grinned, that evil ‘I’m in trouble’ grin. “Well, I can’t be a perfect gentleman now, can I?”
My cheeks heated up, and I held my breath as he moved closer.
I jumped as someone knocked on the door. “Sapphire,” Kayin called out. “Are you ready?”
Ramsey kissed my forehead. “I think it’s cute that you can calmly talk about sex but blush when I do anything.”
Heat rushed to my face, again. “Well, they are different things.” I opened the door. “Morning Kayin, Shin. Come on in. I need to change.”
Shin grinned at me and handed me his phone to show a text from Gavin on the screen.
—I’m counting on you to keep Sapphire safe today. Call if you need anything, and keep an eye on Ramsey. I don’t trust him.
I sighed and gathered my clothes. I was going to have to speak to Anali about her husband.
Chapter Eighteen
I needed a flowing dress, a white horse, and a tiara. Definitely needed a tiara. Maybe the gift shop sold them. Massive walls and towers of red brick and windows painted in white trim stood proudly against the gray sky. “Hampton Court is a castle. A real castle like in the movies.” I have never wanted to be a princess so bad in my life.
Ramsey chuckled. “Didn’t you know that?”
“Even I knew that,” Kayin said. “I Googled it.”
“Why did you want to come here if you didn’t know what it was?” asked Shin as we walked under a large gate with a gold clock set into the top.
“Oh, it was on some blog that everyone who comes to London has to go here, and I wanted a day away from everyone,” I said.
Ramsey arched an eyebrow at me.
“He doesn’t know,” I mouthed soundlessly.
Ramsey rolled his eyes. “Come on, the entrance is over here.”
Art—the whole building was art. Gilt-framed paintings of long dead royalty and mythical stories covered the walls, unless the walls themselves were painted in murals of Roman gods and goddesses who looked down on us. Statues, suits of armor, even the furniture was art. My fingers twitched, and I took a stuttering breath. Emotions had seeped into this palace. I grabbed Ramsey’s hand to ground myself.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes, it’s just a lot.” My wet tennis shoes squeaked on the polished wood floors.
“This is amazing,” Shin said. “Look at the ceiling. Who bothers to make a ceiling so ornate?”
I looked up at the intricately carved wooden arches along the hallway. “Who dusts them?” I muttered.
Kayin laughed. “They do look very clean from down here.”
Ramsey tugged on my hand. “You’re such a romantic.”
Kayin and Shin walked next to each other pointing out things which caught their attention. Their hands brushed as they walked. Their fingers would twitch sometimes, reaching like they were going to hold hands and then curling in away from the other. The sparks of longing, fear, sadness, and confusion were going to make me cry soon.
“They're driving me nuts,” Ramsey whispered in my ear. His hot breath made me shiver. “I want to grab them and make them hold hands.”
That was one way to go about it. “We shouldn’t interfere, but I agree.”
“Wow, that’s some bed,” Ramsey said.
Rich cream velvet hung down from the ceiling, framing the back. The fabric was gathered on the sides. The duvet was the same rich cream with a white leaf pattern, and plump white pillows covered the top. It stood in the middle of a dark green, paneled wall. This room was less cluttered—I guess to show what it originally looked like. It was so big it seemed empty. But I supposed if it was a wo
man’s room she’d need the floor space to get around in those big poofy dresses.
Sighing, I watched as Shin and Kayin’s hands continued to accidentally bump against each other. Then Shin changed the game. He turned his hand so Kayin’s hand bumped into his open palm. I squeezed Ramsey’s hand and held my breath. Kayin didn’t move his hand for a second, then he turned, and their fingers curled around each other. Yes! Internal squee and happy dance.
Kayin looked back at me. I grinned so big it hurt my cheeks. He shook his head, and I bet he was blushing.
“Where should we go next?” Shin asked.
I looked at the map. There was still a lot I hadn’t seen yet, but I needed an excuse to get outside. Seeing the gardens in winter wasn’t going to be believable. “They have a maze.”
“Where?” Shin asked, stopping to look at my map. I guess he didn’t want to let go of Kayin’s hand to look at his.
“It’s outside past The Wilderness.” I pointed at the map. “Can we go?”
“Sounds like fun to me.” Ramsey adjusted the strap on his yoga bag.
“If that is what you want, Little Sister,” Kayin said.
“Well, let’s go,” Shin said, walking towards the exit. “After we get all cold we can have tea, then tour the rest of the house.”
Orderly. The gardens were the most controlled and precise gardens I’d ever seen. They were beautiful, but the forced control on the plants didn’t appeal to me. Many of the trees were naked for the winter, but some were still green, their boughs shaped into rounded cones. The trees seemed embarrassed like toddlers dressed in sailor outfits by their parents.
The gravel crunched under our feet as we walked through the trees of The Wilderness to get to the maze. A cold wind blew around us and something reached out to me. A stag stood amongst the trees. He snorted and turned. I had to follow him, but I needed to do it alone. How? Shin would follow if I just started walking off into the woods, and there wasn’t a way to ask Kayin for help.
If only I could go all Jedi on Shin and have him wait here. I touched my throat. I could, but on Shin for something like this? There had to be a better way. I wracked my brain but couldn’t think of anything else. The stag followed us, and I felt his irritation.
I let go of Ramsey’s hand and took a deep breath letting my necklace connect me to Akasha. Power flowed into me and I concentrated it all in my throat. Shin stiffened and looked around.
“Bathroom,” I gasped, letting the power go. “I have to go to the bathroom. There’s a bench right there, you guys sit and I’ll be right back.”
“You couldn’t have thought of this when we passed them?” Shin teased.
I sniffed. “I didn’t have to go then.”
“I’ll walk with you,” Ramsey said. “You two have fun; we’ll be right back.”
Shin grinned and tugged Kayin towards the bench. A bench which faced the opposite direction, yes! We walked a ways down the path then headed into the trees. “Did you see the stag?” I asked.
“It’s not just a stag, it’s one of Cernunnos’ stags. One of his messengers.”
“What? Who?” I said and focused on the ground so I wouldn’t trip.
“He’s a god of the forest, and protects the animals and beings living there. Well, as best as he can these days,” Ramsey said.
“How can you tell?” I hadn’t felt anything magical coming from the stag.
“He’s marked. The ring of white fur around his neck is a torc.”
“Oh.” I’d thought it was a natural marking.
The stag stopped in front of a large tree. Its leaves were long gone, so I had no idea what kind it was. The gray-brown bark was decorated with pale, dusty-green lichen. I let go of Ramsey’s hand and opened the connection to Akasha. I took a deep breath then exhaled and placed my hands on the rough bark.
“Hello, Phoenix sapling,” a voice echoed in my head, it was slow and thick like the cold sap creeping through the tree. “I’m so glad you’ve come. I’m Oak.”
“Hello. Shamash and Aya said I needed to speak to you. That you could help me find Avalon,” I said. Focusing on the words and not the images and memories of the past five hundred years. My head throbbed at the amount of information flowing into me.
A face slowly formed in the bark, round plump cheeks, small kind eyes, a large hooked nose, and thin smiling lips. I couldn’t tell if Oak was old or young because of the bark. Ramsey gasped. I guess he saw the face too.
“Avalon sunk down into Earth, little sapling, allowing our mother to protect those who honor her and those of Akasha. Only those of magic who seek to help Avalon can enter.” Oak laughed as a squirrel ran up its trunk and ducked into its nest. “The doorway is in the Tor.”
“Okay.” I would need to write this down. Right now it didn’t make much sense.
Oak sighed. “I will tell the trees to let all the magical creatures know to go to Avalon. They will be there when you are ready.”
“How will you know? I don’t even know when I’ll be there.”
“Because timing is everything.” Oak yawned. “Come visit me in the summer one day when I have the energy to talk. I would love to hear about all your adventures.”
Oak’s face sank back into the tree. I blinked as the connection faded. “I will, Oak, and thank you.” As I stepped back my knees buckled and Ramsey caught me.
“Are you okay? You were—well, whatever you were doing, took almost thirty minutes.”
“Crap, how are we going to explain that?” I said, standing up and shaking the pins and needles out of my legs.
He grinned.
I smiled and stepped back, it was his evil “but it’ll be so much fun” grin.
“I have an idea.” He scooped me up and placed me on the ground.
“I’ll get leaves and grass in my hair,” I said.
“Yes, we both will.” He lay next to me and ran his fingers over my cheek. I held my breath. Leaning over, he pressed his lips to mine. They were warm and slightly chapped. Then they were gone. I opened my eyes, when had I closed them?
“Okay, hen?”
I looked into his warm black eyes and nodded, then looked back at his mouth.
He smiled and kissed me again. His fingers threaded into my hair. He shifted, making the kiss deeper. His tongue slid across my bottom lip, and then he sucked my lower lip. Oh. I pressed my hand against his cheek, his stubble was rough under my palm. Ramsey slid his tongue between my lips. My tongue met his, and Ramsey’s arm slid behind me. He rolled us over so he lay on the grass.
The kiss ended. I leaned up and looked down at him.
He smiled. “Now, you have a good excuse for why we were gone so long. In fact, I doubt they’ll even ask once they see you.”
“Is that why you kissed me?”
“Well, it was the first gentlemanly reason I could find to snog you.”
I blushed. “Oh.”
That wicked grin was back as Ramsey buried his fingers in my hair. “I think I’ll have to kiss you at least one more time, if they are going to believe that’s why we were gone.”
“As long as you’re being a gentleman, I suppose it’s fine,” I teased.
“Of course,” he said pressing his lips to mine.
* * *
“We thought we’d have to send out a search party,” Shin said, pulling a leaf from my hair.
My face was so hot I was afraid my brain would fry.
Kayin glared at Ramsey and took my arm. “Come with me, Little Sister, we need to talk. Shin keep an eye on him.”
Shin laughed. “Whatever you want.”
Kayin ducked his head and led me down the path. “Are you okay? Did he force you to do anything? Do you want Shin and me to deal with him?”
“Big Brother, calm down.” I whispered. “I went to speak to the hamadrayad. We took so long Ramsey decided to use kissing as an excuse for being gone so long.”
“So he didn’t kiss you?”
“No, he did, but only twice, well three times.�
�� I blushed and looked at the ground. “It was really nice.”
“And he behaved himself?” Kayin asked.
“Yes, he didn’t try to put his hands anywhere he shouldn’t have.”
Kayin sniffed and looked back at Ramsey with a glare. “Good.”
“What about Shin? Was he a gentleman?” I asked.
Kayin looked at the ground and I swear his cheeks were darker. “We talked and held hands. I don’t … I don’t know what to do.”
His emotions itched against my skin, anxiety, confusion, a bit of fear. “What do you mean? Do about what?”
“I don’t know how to act. Do I let him lead, am I supposed to lead? I’ve only seen male/female relationships, and there were clear boundaries, roles, and rituals in place. We’re both men—I don’t know what to do.”
“Oh.” Wow. Okay, how to help with this? “Well, every relationship is unique. Having grown up in San Francisco I’ve seen all kinds of gay men. I’ve seen skinny young men, big hairy men wearing leather, feminine fashion gods, drag queens, and business men in suits. They dated men different from them and men like them. Shin likes you, just as you are. You don’t have to change, and you two will figure it out.”
“I’m still not sure, that’s what we talked about. That I like him, but I still have to choose between risking losing my family and him,” Kayin said.
I took Kayin’s hand. “Not just him, but being true to yourself. Shin and you might be together forever, or you might date for a few months and realize it doesn’t work between the two of you. You're choosing between possibly losing your family and being true to who you really are.”
Kayin sighed.
“What did Shin say?” I asked.
“He was kind,” Kayin said. “He said he understood that this was a difficult decision, and he would be here to help me as a friend or more.” Kayin bit his lip. “Are you sure I wouldn’t have to change if we dated?”
“Big Brother, Shin likes you. I think the only thing he wants to change is how much to two of you touch.”
“You are naughty,” Kayin said.
I grinned. “Maybe, but it’s the truth.”
“So have I passed?” Ramsey asked. “May I walk with Sapphire through the maze?”
“Walk in front of us, so we can make sure you’re being a gentleman,” Kayin said.
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